I let out a sigh and I shake my head wholly unprepared for this conversation but knowing I had to have it. Where the fuck do I even start? I’ve never broken up with anyone before. It’s not you, it’s me? That’s a lie, it’s definitely you. You’re not Jacob Maxwell Price.

  “Parker, I think you are a really wonderful man.”

  Tears prickle in my eyes and I can feel them building in my throat. Fuck, I thought this would be easier. I can hear my phone vibrating in the distance. I’d left my purse on the wooden credenza at the entrance to the living room and now I’m sure Jacob is calling me again after I missed his first call.

  “But I’m not being honest with myself or with you.”

  He frowns and I can feel his eyes on me as I stare at my hand and the ring sitting on my left hand.

  “I said yes because you were sweet and loved me and we’d been together a reasonable amount of time and that’s what you do when the man you’re living with asks you to marry him, right? You say yes.” I pull my gaze away from my hand and up to the man who’s staring at me with a look of horror. “But that’s not enough for a marriage, Parker. That’s not enough for a life together.”

  “What are you talking about, Whitney? We have a life together. We love each other.” His brown eyes narrow and I can’t remember them ever looking so cold. I don’t respond, trying to allow Parker to draw the conclusions without me having to explicitly say them but that’s not fair.

  “I haven’t been fair to you, Parker.” The words are on the tip of my tongue when his face morphs into what I assume to be realization and he speaks them for me.

  “Is there someone else?”

  My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest as I prepare to speak the truth. I drop my head in shame as I gather the courage to begin the long story about my relationship with Jacob when I hear his soft yet dangerously sinister voice.

  “Get out.”

  My eyes look up to meet his and I furrow my brows. “Parker…”

  His hands ball into a fist and his face hardens angrily. “I said get the fuck out of my house.”

  “I want to explain—”

  “Explain what? How you’ve been playing me for a fool this whole time? How long have you been fucking him behind my back?” He puts a hand up before I can speak. “You know what? I don’t want to fucking know. I can’t even believe you. Everyone was right, you really aren’t worth shit.”

  My eyes widen at his cruel words and part of me wants to reply with something equally ugly but in this moment, he’s hurt. I’d hurt him, so maybe I was deserving of him hurling nasty insults at me. If this was the extent of it, maybe this was the trade off because I’m in the process of breaking his heart. I was leaving him for another man.

  Maybe I really wasn’t shit.

  “That’s fair,” I tell him and he narrows his gaze at me.

  Fury blazes in his eyes and his lips form a snarl. “That’s fair? Are you fucking serious? Fair? So, you get to embarrass me and ride off into the sunset with whoever the fuck and you think what I just said is ‘fair?’ Fuck you, Whitney.”

  “I feel like I owe you an expl—”

  “No. I don’t want to hear shit from you.” He shakes his head. “All the pussy I turned down for you? All the shit you put me through after I made ONE mistake? I know you’re not leaving me for some guy you fucked once while you were drunk. So, that means that this has been going on for God knows how long.”

  I wince, hearing him talk about the other women that may have propositioned him while we were together and referencing the time that he cheated on me. I want to retort that it hasn’t been going on for that long, but hasn’t it? My relationship with Jacob wasn’t as simple as something that could be defined by anything we’ve done this past week. “I didn’t do this as some sort of retaliation, Parker. I was really hurt by what you did, just as I’m sure you’re hurt now. I just… it’s complicated.”

  He chuckles darkly. “That’s what people say when they try to rationalize the shitty things they do to other people. It’s not fucking complicated not to screw someone else over, Whitney.”

  “I know and I—”

  “I think I already advised you to get the fuck out of my house, why the fuck are you still here?”

  I hear my phone begin to ring again and I know we are probably one more missed phone call from Jacob coming to look for me and if I didn’t know Parker came home early, Jacob surely wouldn’t expect it.

  “I really am sorry, Parker.” Tears slide down my cheeks and I’m not sure if it’s out of guilt or sadness or anger. Anger at myself for getting myself in this situation, anger at Jacob for leaving me in the first place and anger at Parker for being at the wrong place at the right time and falling in love with me. For convincing me that I was capable of loving anyone as wholly and completely as I loved Jacob. Parker and I were always on borrowed time because somewhere in the depths of my heart, I knew I would find my way back to Jacob.

  I swallow down the tears that I feel coming on knowing that I’ve changed Parker’s life only to turn it upside down in the blink of an eye.

  Guilt.

  Hearing his visceral reaction to this and the hatred he’s spewing right now is a bitter pill. I wasn’t someone that would normally take this kind of nastiness, but I’m struggling with fighting back when I did this. I broke us. Him.

  Sadness.

  “Don’t even try to start crying, Whitney. Just go.” He growls and I stand up, preparing to grab my purse and my bag with my laptop, not knowing what to do about all my clothes and belongings upstairs. I look toward the stairs, contemplating packing a bag when I hear his voice again.

  “Leave your shit.”

  I turn around and look at him. “What?”

  He nods toward the bag in my hand that has my laptop inside. “I bought you that MacBook.”

  I blink at him. “Okay?” I ask, wondering how that was even relevant.

  “That watch on your wrist.” He points.

  “You… want all the stuff back that you gave me?”

  He nods.

  “Are you joking?”

  “Does it look like I’m joking?”

  “Wow.” I slide the Cartier watch off my wrist that he’d bought me for my birthday and put it on the coffee table along with my engagement ring. “I’ll leave you this and any of the jewelry, but my MacBook was a Christmas present and I’m in law school. If you think I’m leaving you a year and half’s worth of papers and research and homework, including a paper that’s half written that’s due at the end of the semester, you’re crazy.”

  I walk up the stairs, preparing to pack some of my clothes as it seems he might trash all of my things the second I leave. I hadn’t expected this level of petty but I suppose it might just be a knee-jerk reaction to the pain. I toss a suitcase on the floor and begin throwing clothes into it. I pick up my phone just as it begins to ring again and I silence the call. I notice I have three missed calls and a text message from Jacob.

  Jacob: Baby, you’re worrying me. You said you’d call me in ten minutes and now you’re not answering. Talk to me.

  Me: I got home and Parker was here. I told him. Not about you specifically, just that it’s over. Now, I’m packing.

  I give him the bullet points so that he’s not left completely in the dark but I hope he’s not going to ask me to go into more details while I just want to get out of here as soon as possible.

  Jacob: Are you serious? Whitney, are you okay?

  Me: Yes. Just let me pack some of my stuff.

  Jacob: Call me when you get in the car.

  I thumbs up the comment and continue packing in a haste because I wasn’t sure what would happen the longer that Parker stewed in his anger. I turn toward the door when I see a figure there and I see Parker on his crutches staring at me angrily.

  “You’re really doing this?”

  My shoulders slump and I hate how this looks. Like I’m just leaving him on a whim.

  “After everything we’ve been through together? Why the fuck did you even agree to marry me?”

  I tuck a hair behind my ear and twist the end of it around my finger nervously. “I… I don’t know.” I bite my lip preparing to tell him a little bit about my past but also not wanting to give him the full scope of the truth because truthfully my parents did need to hear that part first. “I fell in love a long time ago. Things didn’t work out and…”

  “You weren’t over him when you met me.”

  I lower my head to avoid his judgmental gaze and shake it gently. “No. I had spent almost a year trying to get over him and then you came along and you were kind and funny and smart and different.” I look up at him. “I’m sorry. I pushed him out of my head. Please don’t think I’ve been waiting around for him. I thought I’d moved on. I told myself I had moved on.”

  “This is fucked up, Whitney.” He shakes his head and I can’t deny it. This whole situation is fucked up and I caused it. He takes a step back out of the room and shakes his head. “Take whatever, Whitney. I just hope you remember what goes around comes around.”

  Jacob is waiting in his driveway when I get there and the car is barely in park before I’m in his arms and he presses his lips to mine. “You, okay?” he murmurs in my ear and I nod. I relayed everything to Jacob while I was on my way over and I could sense his uneasiness about how well Parker seemed to take it. “You’re sure?” I can hear the question in his voice if I thought Parker may retaliate in another way and I shake my head as he guides me into his house, leaving all of my things in my car. “You’re not speaking, use your words Whitney,” Jacob commands and I look up at him with watery eyes.

  “He looked so hurt.” I sniffle, hating that I broke someone’s heart. I remember all too clearly what it felt like to have mine broken and I can’t believe I was capable of doing that to another person. He guides me up the stairs and pulls me into his bedroom where I can see the lights off in his ensuite bathroom but I can tell that there are candles lit.

  “I ran you a bath and I poured you a glass of wine. Go.” He points to the open door. “I’m going to get your things from the car.”

  I stare into the bathroom. I think I’m going into shock, the weight of what I’ve done coming crashing down around me. He follows me into the bathroom and I can see that he’d lit several candles that were lining the bubble filled bathtub and the tub was large enough that he could set a glass of wine on the side of the tub without fear of it being knocked over. Lavender fills my nose and I immediately feel myself relaxing under the scent.

  “Will you join me?” If I were stronger, I’d ask for space. Space while I mourn a relationship before jumping into another one. But I wasn’t stronger and this was the man I’d loved since I was fifteen, fourteen if we are counting the crush I had.

  “As much as I would love that, I think maybe you need some time to yourself.” He drops his forehead to mine and I relish in the minor contact. “If I get in this tub with you, you’re going to wrap your naked, wet body around me and then I’m going to fuck you and taste you, and I don’t want you to use that as an escape right now.”

  “What if I need an escape?” I pull off my sweater and slide my jeans down my legs leaving me in only my lacy bra and thong and he glides his eyes down my body letting them hover between my legs. He bites his lip, stifling a groan. “Let me get your stuff and then we can talk about it. I’m open to negotiations.” He smiles and I know I’ve got him.

  “Sure.” I shrug as I unclasp my bra, letting my breasts spring free and his eyes zero in on the nipples which also happen to be pebbling under his gaze. I turn my back to him just as I bend over to remove my thong and I hear a ‘fuck me’ whispered behind me. When I turn around to meet his eyes, he’s backing out of the room like he’s scared to make any sudden movements. I chuckle as I slide into the warm temperatures letting them soak my tense muscles.

  I was anxious about what tomorrow would hold, wondering how my parents would take the news and all the questions they’d inevitably have. They may not be necessarily heartbroken over learning the news as they weren’t his biggest fans but I can already hear the Michelle Monroe inquisition now. I rub my forehead and take a large sip of the red wine and I shoot Jacob a text to bring the bottle up when he comes because I’m already halfway through the glass.

  I close my eyes and allow myself to think about months from now where everything’s out in the open.

  No more lies.

  No more secrets.

  I chuckle at the text message Whitney sent me about bringing up the whole bottle of wine as I make my way out my front door to grab her things. I open the back seat to Whitney’s car when headlights pull into my driveway and begin making their way up toward me. Who the fuck? I squint my eyes but it’s dark and their headlights are making it hard for me to tell who it is. The truck gets closer and my eyes widen when I realize it’s Kevin. As in the father of the wet, naked woman in my bathtub who also happens to be my goddaughter.

  Jesus fucking Christ.

  “Hey, hey,” Kevin says as he gets out of the car with a six-pack in his hand and I realize this is just a social visit. It wasn’t unheard of for either of us to just show up at each other’s house unannounced but it was usually me showing up at his. “Michelle is at her sister’s and I was bored as fuck. I assumed your ass was home.” He explains as he notices the car that is definitely not mine. “New car?” He takes a few steps closer and I can see that he’s taking a closer look at the unfamiliar vehicle parked in my driveway. His eyes narrow when he takes in more about the car, looking at the license plate and more importantly the holder around it from Whitney’s alma mater. “Wait what? Whitney is here?”

  It’s not that strange that she’d be here. It’s innocent. Nothing out of the ordinary. I suppose now would be a good time to tell him, but I want it to be on my terms and not because we’re caught.

  Tell him. Do it now.

  “Is she okay?” he asks before I can reply and then he’s moving into the house past me.

  “Yes. Well… Kevin…” He turns to look at me, his face angry and worried and confused and I pussy out. “She broke up with Parker.”

  His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and his mouth drops open in shock. “Shut the fuck up. She did not.” I nod. “Why? What? I didn’t realize you guys were still that close that she’d tell you before Michelle.” We are in my house now so he pulls me out of the foyer and into the living room. “Where is she?” he whispers, his eyes concerned about why his daughter would be here.

  “She wasn’t sure where to go, she knew Michelle would have a million questions and Chloe is still attached to my brother’s dick. She just needed a second of peace before she started telling people.” The lie falls out of my mouth easily. “She just wanted to get herself together.”

  A flash of anger crosses his face. “What did that little prick do to her?”

  “Nothing, to my knowledge. I think she realized he just wasn’t the one.” I shrug. And I fucking am.

  He nods. “Where is she?” he repeats.

  “I think she’s taking a bath. She was so worked up when she got here. She wanted to relax.” I pick up the phone preparing to call her in front of Kevin so I can tell her that we have an unexpected visitor. I also didn’t want her to yell for me in a way that was not appropriate to do in front of her father.

  “When are you coming up to join me?” she asks as soon as I answer the phone and I’m so glad I have the foresight to turn the volume all the way down.

  “Hey, come down when you’re done, your dad just got here,” I say nonchalantly and not like she was enticing me to come upstairs and fuck her in my Jacuzzi bathtub.

  “That’s not funny,” she responds.

  I force a laugh. “Yeah, you know how he gets when your mom goes out. Can’t fend for himself.”

  She gasps. “You’re serious.”

  “Yep. Say hi.” I put her on speakerphone and Kevin speaks up.

  “Whit, hi hon, you okay? Jacob said you broke up with Parker? I can’t say I’m super upset about it but are you okay?”

  “Umm yeah… I mean, I don’t know…” She’s silent and I know she’s probably in a little bit of shock that suddenly her father is here and thereby she will not be getting fucked any time soon. “I need to somehow get the rest of my things. Can you help me with that?”

  I try to hide the frown crossing my face that she didn’t ask me to help her with that, but I guess she’s trying to keep him distracted so he doesn’t ask her any questions about why she’d come here instead of to him and her mother. “Of course, honey. Just come down when you’re done and we can talk. Whitney, did he do something?”

  “No, no, this was me. I just realized he wasn’t the one for me. I’ll be down in a little,” she says and Kevin looks at me.

  “She just up and decided this? A week ago, she was talking to Michelle about the venue and now she’s calling off the engagement. Do you think something happened?”

  “I don’t know, Kev… she literally just got here.” He moves into the living room and sits on my sectional L-shaped couch, placing the beers on the coffee table and popping one open before taking a long sip. Part of me wants to tell him about his infidelity. That he’d cheated on her and she never got over it but I know that’s not my story to tell even if it does piss me the fuck off. I hadn’t looked at another woman in the three years we’ve been apart because she still consumed me on the deepest levels and he fucked some other woman under the guise that he can’t handle his liquor?

  Not why she broke up with him though.

  “This is strange as fuck and seems just so out of character for her. I wonder if Michelle knows.”

  “I don’t think so and I know you can’t do or say or think anything without telling her but can you just please keep this to yourself for now. Just give Whitney a second, man.” I know I’m coming off a little aggressive about it but I can already see Kevin texting Michelle and then her showing up and that is not at all what Whitney needs right now when she’s already overwhelmed.