Hearing her confession and how much she wants me shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does but it pushes me closer to the edge. I continue fucking her through my frustration over letting things go too far with Avery and now I’m addicted to her and I have no intentions of giving her up.

  I come hard, shooting my load deep inside her. I fall on top of her, while keeping most of my weight off of her, but still resting against her luscious body. I’ve stopped thrusting but I’m still inside of her even as my dick slowly softens. She’s looking up at me with a sexy lazy smile and I lean down to kiss her. “I can’t let you go,” I whisper against her and she gasps.

  “I don’t want you to.”

  I press my lips to her collarbone and then her neck and then a final kiss to her lips before I pull out of her. “We need to talk.”

  We’re sitting on the balcony of the suite, both of us in bathrobes after the shower we took together, neither of us saying anything and somehow everything at the same time. After ten minutes of silence, she finally speaks up. “Who’s going to tell him?” She winces, referring to Lucas. “I do not think we should do it together.”

  “Absolutely not.” I shake my head because that awkward conversation you have with your kids when you’re dating someone new is something you do when they’re under the age of eighteen and definitely not one of their closest friends. “I think it should come from me.”

  “Are you going to tell him and Rae together?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “I think Raegan will be irritated, but I think she’ll take it better. I also don’t think we should do it before her wedding.” I don’t want anything to take away from what should be the happiest time in her life, let alone the tension that this situation will inevitably bring.

  “That’s a good idea. Get through all of this and let the focus solely be on Raegan.” She snaps her finger. “I don’t know if I told you, she asked me to be a bridesmaid.”

  “You didn’t, but I’m not surprised. I know you’re not as close with her as you are with Lucas but Raegan adores you.”

  “Not sure how much she will now.” She moves closer to me and settles so her back is against my chest.

  I wrap my arms around her and drop a kiss to her shoulder. “So, we get through the wedding. That’s only a few months.”

  She nods. “It also gives us some time to make sure this is really what we want and get to know each other past…the sex.” She giggles. “I want to make sure I’m definitely keeping you before I blow up my whole life.”

  I grip her jaw and tilt her face to look up at me. “You’re keeping me, Avery.” I know she was making a joke, but it doesn’t stop the involuntary feeling of inadequacy from creeping in caused by being in a marriage with an unfaithful partner.

  The last thing I want to do in this moment is unleash all my baggage on Avery but I’d be lying if I didn’t feel just a little bit insecure at times. And while I do realize that women are attracted to me, I also know that feelings change and also that Avery is twenty-one and I am not.

  What if it all becomes too much for her?

  I don’t realize how much I’ve spaced out until I feel her hands on my face and her lips brushing gently against mine. “I was just making a joke…but this is really big,” she says, “and once we open this door, we can’t ever close it again, so I only meant that I want us both to be sure.”

  “I know.”

  Her eyes are filled with sincerity and I wonder if she can see where my mind went because she snuggles against my chest and rubs her hand over it. “I want you,” she says quietly. “I want this.” She presses her lips to my neck. “We’ll make him understand. He won’t be upset forever.”

  “Are you going to be okay if he never understands?”

  She turns in my lap to straddle me. “Will you?”

  “I…I don’t know.” She looks down and the sadness is painted all over her sweet face. I hate that I put it there. I raise her chin with my index finger to make her look at me. “I know that I want to be with you.”

  “You’re his dad, Theo. He’ll eventually forgive you.” She bites her bottom lip. “There’s a chance he’ll never forgive me.” She sighs. “But, I was running that risk regardless,” she says. “Whoever I chose to be with was always going to be a sore subject.”

  “And that’s the problem, Avery.”

  “I know. I know.” She puts her hands over her eyes. “It’s not my fault, I didn’t…I don’t lead him on, Theo.”

  The guilt of what I’m doing feels like it’s taking over at her words and I sigh before removing her hands from her face and kissing her fingertips one at a time. “I know. I never thought you did.” I pull her towards me and begin to rub her back gently. “I just can’t believe you’re you.” I sigh. “In another life, it would be so easy.”

  “In another life, I probably don’t live right next door, so maybe we would never cross paths,” she teases.

  “I’d find you in every lifetime.”

  We spent the rest of that night trying not to think too much about the future and just enjoying our time alone. It felt like a turning point for us. This is more than just exclusive sex.

  We are…together.

  I look down at the picture I snapped of her while she was sleeping and part of me wants to make it the background of my phone. She looked so peaceful and happy and fucking stunning and I’ve looked at it no less than a hundred times since I took it. I lean back in my chair at my desk, and part of me wants to call her just so I can hear her voice. It’s been two days since that night and I’ve woken up without her in my bed the past two mornings and I am already fucking over it. We are supposed to have dinner tonight and I want to broach the subject of her moving out of her parent’s house just so it’s easier for us to see each other.

  I pull up my phone, deciding that it might be time to tell someone what’s going on and my brother is the only person who will give it to me straight and probably not give me too much shit for it.

  “Little bro, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Bryan is four years older than me and lives in Arizona with his wife and two kids after selling his tech company for a shitload of money. He also spends more time at the golf course than anywhere else so I know he’s got nothing but time.

  “You busy?”

  “Of course not. I’m supposed to tee off in thirty minutes so I’m just at the clubhouse having breakfast.”

  I sigh. “I have to tell you something. I haven’t told anyone and it’s…kind of a big thing.”

  “Well, you have my attention.” He clears his throat. “First off, do I need bail money? A shovel? That fucker didn’t do something to Rae, did he? Do we need my lawyer?”

  I roll my eyes. “You and I have the same lawyer, which is dad, and no.” I hadn’t talked to Bryan in a week or so which means he also doesn’t know the latest about Raegan. “Speaking of Rae,” I lean back in my chair and look towards the ceiling. “She’s getting married.”

  “WHAT? To that old dude?”

  I roll my eyes. “You do know he’s younger than both of us, right?”

  “You okay with this?” He asks, ignoring my comment. “Be straight with me.”

  “I…think. I don’t know. My judgment is a little compromised right now which is why I’m calling.”

  “Oh…kay?” I hear the sound of a can opening and I look at my watch wondering if he’s having a beer this early.

  “Isn’t it eight in the morning there?”

  “You know it’s never too early to mind your business. What is the reason for this call?” He asks with a bored tone.

  I chuckle. “She’s also pregnant, by the way.”

  “Oh, wait what!? That’s why they’re getting married?”

  “Apparently no. I guess they’ve been talking about it for a while. I mean they do live together.”

  “That sounds like grade-A bullshit. Which is fine, I respect a man who wants to do the right thing when he gets a girl pregnant, but let’s call a spade a spade here.”

  “I don’t know. I like him, and part of me thinks he’d tell me the truth.” Maybe it was the romantic in me, but I believed Wes when he said he’s been in love with my daughter for months.

  “Well, you know I can spot some fuckery a mile away. I can’t wait to meet this guy. Tell him you’re the nice one, but I’m the black sheep of the family and I’ve got friends in low places that will kill him for nothing and make it look like an accident. But is this why you called?”

  “No. I was just keeping you informed. They want to get married before she starts showing, so the wedding will be kind of soon, I expect.”

  “Would not expect anything less from a shotgun wedding.”

  I laugh because my brother always says the things people think but don’t say out loud. He has no filter. Half the time it pisses people off and half the time it comes off as lovable; one hundred percent of the time, though, Bryan doesn’t care. “I’ll let you and Rae argue that out. The reason for my call is I’m seeing someone.”

  “Oh, fuck yes. Fucking finally. And for you to be telling me means it’s not just sex and it’s serious.”

  “It’s not just sex and it’s…moving towards serious.”

  “But wait, you said no one knows. How can it be serious if Lucas and Rae don’t know? Oh God, please tell me you’re not getting back with Rebecca.” He groans.

  “What? Hell no. You know me better than that.”

  “Well, I don’t know who else you’d be keeping from your grown-ass kids. Why would they care?” He pauses. “Oh shit, don’t tell me it’s one of Raegan’s friends.” He chuckles. “I mean actually please do tell me that, because respect. But… Rae will absolutely freak the fuck out even with her current situation.” I don’t respond even as he continues to laugh and he lets out a whistle, taking my silence as admission. “No fuckin’ way. One of her friends?”

  “It’s even worse than you’re thinking.”

  “What could be worse than—” He stops talking and at this moment, I’m fairly certain he’s put it together. “No.” He sighs. “Of all the people in the entire fucking world, tell me you are not sleeping with Avery.” I swallow guiltily, knowing that I’m about to endure a long fucking lecture about this. I don’t speak, and I hear him again. “Theodore.”

  I groan. “My full name. Really?”

  “Yes, you absolutely get your full fucking name. THEO, WHAT THE FUCK?” He yells into the phone and I pull it away from my ear with a groan.

  “I know. I KNOW.”

  “You know!? Your son’s best friend that he used to have feelings for?” He yells, his tone is laced with judgment.

  “It’s been…a long time coming I guess you could say.”

  “What? How long?” And I can hear the emphasis in the question because I’ve known Avery a very long fucking time.

  “Stop it. It’s not what you’re thinking. It’s only been a few years. We kissed once when she was twenty.” I stand from my desk and begin to pace the length of my office to my couch. “Last winter when she was home, we went a little further, and then about two weeks ago we slept together.”

  “But how exactly did this happen?”

  I launch into the whole story starting with the night I kissed her for the first time, to last winter, her graduation party, and the last few weeks and learning how she’s had a crush on me for years, and when I finish, my heart is racing and I feel like I need a drink.

  “Well, shit. You’re fucked, you know that?”

  “And now things have gotten more serious and now…” I lean against my desk. “I want to be with her and I don’t know how to tell Lucas.”

  “This could potentially destroy your relationship with him, you know.”

  His words are expected but not what I want to hear and I feel sick at the thought of not having a relationship with my son. “I want to think he may come around? Yes, he’ll be pissed but…”

  “But what? He held a candle for her for years which you knew and now you’re fucking her? Come on.”

  “Don’t make me feel like shit.”

  “Don’t do shitty things then and stop thinking with your dick. I am sure the sex is amazing and I will admit I am jealous because Avery is a fucking smokeshow, but…”

  “Watch yourself, Bryan,” I snap. I already have to deal with half the men in Philly lusting after her, I’m not taking that shit from my brother.

  “Oh Christ. Unlike you, I wouldn’t go after my nephew’s girl.”

  “She’s not his girl,” I groan.

  “Semantics! You know what I’m saying.”

  “Can you say something helpful?”

  “Call it off?” He offers and it feels like the wind has been knocked out of me. I’ve gone too far down this road and now that no longer feels like an option.

  I sigh. “Got any other ideas?”

  “I don’t know. Are you willing to part with a significant amount of money? Maybe for a cool mill, Lucas won’t hate you as much.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “I was also serious, but okay, no to the money.” He’s silent for a second before he speaks again. “What would you do if one of your friends…or I went after Rebecca?”

  “Wish you good luck? And also, that is very different. We were married and we have two children. Lucas and Avery have never been romantically involved.”

  “Fine, but you get the point I’m making. This is a bad idea and it’s going to change your whole relationship with your son. Is that what you want? Not to mention what happens if and when things get more serious. What, Avery is going to be Lucas and Rae’s stepmom? Or if you two have a baby? He would have been in love with the mother of his half-sibling? Is that incest? It feels incest-y.”

  “We are a long way off from marriage and a baby.” Even though the thought of her walking around with a cute little baby bump and my ring on her finger is triggering my possessiveness.

  “But it’s something you’re thinking about. That’s the only reason you’re considering telling Lucas.” I sigh, not knowing what to say to that when he speaks up again. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind about this and there’s no way I can talk you out of it, so what I am going to say is tell him before he finds out on his own. If he catches you, it’ll be ten times worse.”

  “He’s in New York now.”

  “Okay, but you and Avery are still in Philly, where he still has connections. What if it somehow gets back to him if you two are spotted out somewhere?”

  “We are avoiding going public for now.”

  “Because you know it’s shady.”

  “You know for someone who rarely gives a fuck what anyone thinks, you’re being awfully tough on me,” I scoff.

  “One, you’re not me, and two, I always gave a fuck what my immediate family thought.” I snort, remembering more than one screaming match between him and our dad. “Don’t bring up Dad; he can be a dick and you know it.”

  “Because you’re cut from the same cloth, but we are digressing.”

  “The point is, you want to be able to be with Avery and also maintain a relationship with Lucas. There’s a good chance you can’t have both. And let’s say you tell Lucas and he fucking loses it and you decide it’s not worth it so you break things off with Avery, your relationship with Lucas is still forever fucked because you stuck your dick somewhere it did not belong.”

  I sigh in frustration because none of this is helpful. “So, the trade off is what? I don’t get what I want?”

  “What, young pussy? Theo, don’t bullshit me. Find someone else.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “What’s it like then? Enlighten me.” I swallow the words sitting in the back of my throat, not wanting to speak them aloud in fear of what it means. “Oh shit,” he says. “You’re falling for her, aren’t you?”

  I sit on the couch in the corner of my office and place my phone on speakerphone before lying on my back and closing my eyes. I was not expecting this conversation with Bryan, although I should have and I’m suddenly exhausted. “I don’t know…maybe.”

  “Not good enough.”

  “Get off my back, Bryan,” I snap at him. “I haven’t been serious with anyone since Rebecca. I don’t even know how this shit works anymore.”

  “Sure, you do. You’ve always been a hopeless romantic and all that shit. That’s why Rebecca fucked you up.” Bryan has never been quiet about his feelings for Rebecca or his distaste for how she treated me. I’m pretty sure he told her off more times during our divorce than I did. I think about them seeing each other for the first time at Raegan’s wedding and I know that’s not going to be pretty. “How does she feel about you?”

  I think about our last weekend together, how she looked at me, and the things she said and did and I want to believe she feels the same. “I think she wants me too.” I clear my throat. “Beyond the sex.” I stare up at the ceiling, trying to put my very confused thoughts into words. “I haven’t felt this way in a long time. Maybe I’ve never felt this way.” I confess, because this feels different than it did with the only other woman I’ve been serious with. “Maybe because I’m older now. She’s just different. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I just fucking want her.”

  “Uh huh,” I hear the skepticism in those two syllables and I roll my eyes. “She’s a good kid and cute as hell. Speaking as your older brother, good for you. Speaking as Lucas’ uncle, you kind of suck.” I roll my eyes just as I hear a knock on my door.

  Very fucking grateful for the interruption, I sit up. “Listen, thanks for nothing. I got to go, I’ll call you later.”

  “Alright, talk to you later.” He hangs up and I open the door to find Avery looking fucking delicious holding a coffee in her hand and a bag in the other.

  “Special delivery.” She smiles and hands them out to me.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to hide the smile and also prevent my dick from getting hard as I stare at her bare legs under a black mini-skirt.