“I thought maybe somebody was in there but I knocked and no one answered,” Dawn said as she waved me toward the closed bathroom door. “So is there, like, a key you can use or...?”

  I reached for the knob, turned it and pushed the door open.

  “Uh, it seems fine,” I said.

  “Oh, it's a push,” Dawn said. “You should put a sign on it so people know whether to push or pull.”

  “Right, I'll be sure to make a note of that. Is there anything else I can do for you?” I was wondering if she needed help brushing her teeth or flushing the toilet.

  “No, I'm good.”

  I left Dawn and went back downstairs. After locking up the doors as Aunt Sam had asked, I went outside and crossed the driveway to the RV. As I did, I was thinking about Nick. I didn't exactly dislike him, but I wasn't sure I liked him either. Maybe we just got off to a bad start, but he seemed egotistical and that irritated me. But was I being unfair? After all I didn't really know Nick; he could be a shy little boy inside of that admittedly hunky body, and he was just trying to act confident. Sure, he was handsome but he was born looking that way; he hadn't done anything to achieve it. Knowing this may have made him feel unsure of himself and overcompensate to hide his insecurity. That was about all I could remember from my freshman year psychology class. I may have been doing a tiny bit of texting while the professor was lecturing but I'm pretty sure I heard the important stuff.

  Anyhow, I decided that I would hit the reset button with Nick. I would keep an open mind about him not only because he was a friend of Aunt Sam, but because I didn't want to be mad at anyone while I was on vacation. Two weeks of loafing and forgetting my problems was the plan, and I wasn't going to let small irritations get in the way.

  As I reached the RV I heard a strange humming noise. What could it be? An engine? I looked around but I couldn't make out the source of the sound. Then I opened the door I could tell right away what is was; it was snoring, loud snoring. I went straight back to the bedroom and found Nick asleep on the bed with his phone charging on the table beside him!

  “Nick, get up! I need to go to bed!” I shouted. No reply. I grabbed his foot and shook it vigorously. “Nick!! Wake up right now!” I didn't succeed in waking him but I did cause a lot of sand to fall out of his shoe onto the blanket. I mentally tore up my resolution to keep an open mind about Nick. He should count himself lucky if I didn't murder him at this point. “Nick!!”

  Finally my shouting and shaking got through to him and he stirred a little. “K,” he mumbled, but he didn't move. I thought about throwing cold water on him but then I'd be left with a wet bed. Not that appealing. I kept trying to wake him, but after a few more “K” responses, I gave up. I was really tired and I just wanted to go to sleep. I grabbed a blanket and pillow off the bed and headed for the sofa. The RV sofa wasn't as deep as a regular sofa would be, and I lay there clutching the edge of the cushion so I wouldn't roll onto the floor. Instead of counting sheep, I fell asleep thinking of different ways that a person could inflict major bodily harm on another person without doing jail time for it. The sheep wouldn't have stayed around with all that snoring anyway.

  Chapter 4

  When I woke up the next morning I learned several things. First, there was no more snoring so Nick had left. Second, I had many more muscles in my body than I had realized and none of them were reacting kindly to spending the night on the skinny sofa. And finally, when I managed to hobble into the bathroom and look into the mirror, I learned that it was going to take a lot of extra strength concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes. Also, I discovered that Nick had used the bathroom and left the seat up, but somehow that didn't come as a surprise.

  I put on lilac shorts, a white tee with lilac trim and white canvas shoes, and pulled my curly hair back into a pony tail for the time being. I reminded myself that I still wanted to go over to the big island and get a hair straightener even if I had to go with the unspeakable Nick. Vanity trumped irritation.

  I went outside and walked around the house to the back door. I found Dodie in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee. “Well, hi there, sleepyhead. I heard Nick leave on his motorcycle at about four this morning, but, don't worry, I didn't saying anything to your Aunt Sam,” she said with a wink and a grin.

  I opened my mouth to explain that there was nothing to say about Nick and myself to Aunt Sam, but it seemed like too much work for this early in the morning, so instead I got a cup off the shelf and poured myself some coffee. “Is Aunt Sam up yet?” I asked.

  “Oh yes, she's in the dining room eating breakfast with the guests; well, most of the guests, that is. Mr. Maxwell always eats breakfast up in his room.” Dodie looked at her watch. “Just about time for me to take it up to him. When I get back I can fix you up something to eat.”

  “Oh, I don't need anything special,” I said. “I'll just have what you fixed for everyone else.”

  Dodie laughed. “Oh, darlin', you don't know this crew! None of them eat the same thing! Let's see; Vanessa gets turkey bacon and goat cheese in a lettuce wrap and Greek yogurt with fresh fruit. For Kristi, two eggs over easy with sausage, hash browns and pancakes, and Dawn is having fish and chips.”

  “Fish and chips for breakfast?”

  “Every day! Now Gavin's having a glass of tomato juice, a glass of milk mixed with a mashed banana and a glass of water with lemon juice and a spoon of sugar in it. I guess he's hopin' that one of them will cure his hangover.”

  “I suppose Brent Maxwell is just as picky as the others?”

  “He's having corn flakes, a poached egg, coffee and orange juice.”

  “That's not bad.”

  “Did I mention that his cornflakes must be in oat milk and have exactly a half teaspoon of sugar, the egg must be cooked for precisely four and a half minutes and be lightly salted, and the orange juice must be chilled but not cold? I'd tell you how he wants his coffee, but it would run into lunch time!”

  “That sounds more like Brent Maxwell,” I said. “How about I just have whatever Aunt Sam is having?”

  “That works for me!” Dodie said. She stood up and took a tray from the counter. “Now I'd better get Mr. Maxwell's breakfast to him; he'll be grouchy if it's late. Why don't you go on into the dining room and I'll bring you your breakfast in a few minutes.”

  “Thanks,” I said. I followed Dodie into the dining room and saw to my surprise that all of the guests were sitting alone at separate tables. Vanessa and Kristi were seated on opposite sides of the room with their backs to each other, Dawn was in the center of the room with her phone in one hand and her fork in the other, and Gavin was wearing dark sunglasses and sat hunched over a table in the darkest corner of the room, staring blankly at the wall while stirring his milk with a shaky hand.

  I saw Aunt Sam sitting at a table by the window, reading a book while she ate. I went over to sit with her and saw that she was reading a Dirk Nightshade novel. This seemed strange to me, but when I reached the table I saw that she had an old romance novel open inside the Dirk Nightshade book. “Don't judge me,” she said as I sat down.

  As Dodie passed through the room with Brent's tray, Vanessa stood up and stopped her. “Sorry, Dodie, but Brent said he doesn't want orange juice today,” she said, taking the glass off the tray. “He thinks it's responsible for his morning headaches. I'll drink it so that all those oranges didn't die in vain. Oh, and bring down his tape recorder so I can hear his lordship's 'orders' for the day.”

  Kristi rolled her eyes. “Oh sure, it's the orange juice that gives him headaches....”

  “My goodness, if it's not one thing it's another with that man,” Aunt Sam said. “So, do you have any plans for the first full day of your vacation?”

  “Yes, Nick is taking me over to Golden Happiness Isle so I can replace my hair straightener. He has a fishing trip this morning but he said we can go this afternoon.” There was another Dirk Nightshade novel sitting on the table and I starting leafing through it. How bad could it be?

  “Oh Dirk! You're wonderful! You give me a verve for life unlike any other!” Brigitte gushed breathlessly. “Same to you, baby,” Dirk growled as he swaggered over to her and took her in his powerful embrace. His heart was burning with the fiery passion of ten thousand suns. Okay, now I knew. I closed the book before I lost my appetite.

  “That's so nice. Nick is such a sweet, thoughtful boy,” Aunt Sam said. “I'm glad that you two are getting along so well together. You know you could stay down here for a lot longer than just two weeks and really get to know him better.”

  “Yes, well, that would be great,” I lied, “but I do have to get back to Ohio and find a teaching job. The good ones go fast.”

  “I didn't know there were any 'good' ones,” Aunt Sam said, “but then, I've never been interested in teaching. Oh, I tried it once in my twenties, but it wasn't for me. I've tried my hand at a lot of different jobs through the years, and most of them have been a lot of fun, at least for a while. And I could tell you stories, too! Why, when I was in Paris-”

  Just then Charlie Gleason walked into the dining room, looking ashy and a little greenish. Apparently alcohol is not as good a preservative as people say. “You aren't going to believe what I just saw!” he announced.

  “I'm sure we won't, Charlie dear,” Vanessa said, handing him the glass of orange juice. “Here, it looks like you need this more than I do. You look like the Crypt Keeper.”

  “No, but listen; I went out this morning for my morning jog-” Kristi snickered loudly. Charlie scowled at her as he continued, “and I stopped for a little pick-me-up at the Salty Saloon, and who do you think that I see getting his picture painted right outside? Why, that Captain Caleb guy who punched Brent last night! I struck up a conversation with him, and he tells me that he didn't even get put in jail! The sheriff just drove him home to sleep it off! Can you believe it?”

  “Dad ought to sue that guy,” Gavin said in a hoarse voice. “That's what I'd do.”

  “I say the Mayor should step in,” Vanessa said. “If she wants Brent's support to-”

  Suddenly we heard Dodie scream followed by a loud thud on the ceiling overhead and the sound of breaking glass. I jumped up and ran to the bottom of the stairs where I heard Dodie cry, “Help! Get a doctor! Mr. Maxwell's been hurt! There's blood all over!”

  “Call 911 and then Dr. Brad!” Aunt Sam told me as she rushed up the stairs. I pulled out my phone and did as she said while I followed her up. The rest of the guests were right behind me as we reached Brent Maxwell's room.

  Brent Maxwell was slumped over his desk, not moving. Blood stained his hair and the desk beneath his head as well as the Sneaky, which lay on its side in front of him. Dodie was standing just inside the door crying, and I put my arm around her while Aunt Sam went over to Brent to see what she could do. The others pushed their way into the room, almost knocking me over as they surged through the door.

  “Do you think he's going to be all right?” Vanessa asked.

  “No, no, I don't,” Aunt Sam replied. “I'm afraid he's dead and he's been that way for some time.”

  “What!” Kristi cried. “How can you be sure? You're not a doctor!”

  “He has no pulse, he's not breathing and his body is very cold.”

  “It must be suicide,” Charlie said, standing on his toes in the doorway to try to see over the others. “He's been very distraught the past few weeks.”

  “The back of his head appears to have been bashed in, probably with his Sneaky trophy,” Aunt Sam said. “He couldn't possibly have done that to himself.”

  “He was stumbling drunk last night, as usual,” Gavin replied. “He probably fell and hit his head. It wouldn't be the first time. I've warned him time and time again about his drinking.”

  “We'll let Sheriff Landon decide about that,” Aunt Sam said. “Teri?”

  “She's on her way,” I said, still listening to the sheriff on my phone. “Maybe five minutes. She says no one should touch anything.”

  “One of us should stay with the body,” Gavin said.

  “Oh fine, I'll do it,” Vanessa sighed. “Even after death I have to take care of him!”

  “I don't think that'll be necessary,” Aunt Sam said. “Let's all go downstairs and wait for the sheriff. Teri, will you wait here and make sure no one goes inside or disturbs the crime scene?”

  She ushered everyone out and they all returned to the dining room while I stood guard at the door. I hoped no one would try to get in; I wasn't sure exactly what I'd do to stop them. I had seen some Chuck Norris movies on TV when I was in middle school but I couldn't remember how to do any of his moves. Somehow I doubted that they would work as well for me as they did for Chuck even if I could pull them off.

  Fortunately no one tried, and after a few minutes I could hear sirens coming closer, and Aunt Sam went to the front door and opened it. A moment later she came up the stairs with Sheriff Landon and Dr. Brad.

  “Buff was in the Doldrums but he'll be here any minute,” Sheriff Landon said.

  I looked at Aunt Sam. “Buff in the Doldrums?”

  “Jamie Buffington. He's the deputy sheriff. And the Doldrums is a little town down on the South side of the island.”

  “I didn't know there was more than one town on Admiral Archibald Falls. I thought Archibald Village was the only one.”

  “Mayor Croaker pretends it is,” Sheriff Landon chuckled. “It's not as, let's say 'upwardly mobile' as Archibald Village.”

  “Uh, hello!” called a voice from downstairs.

  “Up here, Buff!” the sheriff called. A short, pudgy man of about thirty in a police uniform came up the stairs lugging a big crime scene kit under his arm. He had wispy blonde hair and a bald spot that was slathered with sunblock.

  “Oh hi!” he said when he saw me. “Miss Sam's niece, right? The one with the problem with that guy...”

  “Walter.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. Nice to meet you,” Buff said as he hefted the big case into Brent's room.

  “Thanks,” I said. I wasn't even mad at this point. Obviously my breakup was the leading story on all the major news networks.

  “What do you think, Lois?” Aunt Sam asked Sheriff Landon.

  “It's definitely murder. Buff, bag this trophy. We'll need to check it for prints. I expect it'll turn out to be the murder weapon. How long would you say he's been dead, Brad?”

  “Well, I'll need to do a post-mortem to get a precise time of death,” Dr. Brad replied, “but I can tell you he's been dead for several hours. He died from a blow to the head from the proverbial blunt object, almost certainly that trophy here. Otherwise-”

  Suddenly a loud voice began singing from somewhere in the room. I almost hit the ceiling, and I wasn't alone. We all looked around frantically for the source of the voice, and then realized that it was none other than Studley Oscar Simpkins warbling out the chorus of “Easy Street” from the clock on the wall.

  “Why do you keep that abomination in here?” Dr. Brad asked.

  “Brent liked it,” Aunt Sam said. “I suppose now that he's gone it can go, too.”

  “That's a motive for murder if I every saw one,” Sheriff Landon said. “But seriously, do you have any idea who did it, Sammie?”

  “Too many ideas. Nothing helpful to you right now, though.”

  “Yes, I was afraid of that. Say, what's this, a tape recorder? I haven't seen one of these in ages. Did Brent Maxwell actually use it for something?”

  “Oh yes,” Aunt Sam said. “He was afraid that using modern technology would allow people to steal his ideas so he recorded all his thoughts on that old machine. Look, the tape is wound half way; he must have recorded something last night.”

  “Buff, you've got gloves on.”

  “Right,” Buff said, and hit the button to rewind the tape and then started it playing.

  The tape crackled and then we heard Brent's voice: “Okay, Vanessa, it's going to be a busy day tomorrow, so listen carefully. I want the schedule to be followed accurately; I'm here to relax and I don't want any headaches dealing with mistakes. And speaking of headaches, I want you to be sure and tell what's-her-name, the cook, not to bring up any more orange juice. I've been having headaches in the morning and obviously it's this 'all natural' orange juice that's been causing them.

  “Also I'm warning you that you'd better quit fooling around and get serious about closing that movie deal. I need the film series to start this year because this is when we're celebrating book number 200. I'm tired of your excuses! You get paid a lot to make things happen and if you can't do it I can always find someone else who can! Just remember you weren't indispensable as a wife and you aren't indispensable as an agent; plenty of top name agents would kill to have me as a client and don't forget it.

  “And let Kristi know that I read the latest chapter that she transcribed for the new book and I am more than unhappy about the changes she's made. What makes her think she has the right to make any changes at all to my work? Remind her that I'm the writer and she's just a typist. I pay her probably too much money for the minor amount of work she has to do; I could replace her with some college kid and no one would ever know the difference. She needs an attitude adjustment and I mean right now!

  “Next, you're to tell Charlie that I need to see him about making some changes to Gavin's trust fund. Gavin can't be allowed to be so disrespectful to Dawn; she's going to be his new stepmother and he has to accept it. The only thing that seems to matter to him is money, so tightening the purse strings is the best way to get his attention. Now another thing that I need you to do is to check up on ---”

  Suddenly Brent stopped talking and there was a muffled sound. After a moment Brent said, “What are you doing here? I told you I'm not to be disturbed while I'm working. Now leave! Hey, what are you doing-” Then there was a thud and a groan and another thud. Finally we heard the soft click of the door closing and then silence.

  “Well, what do you know? He caught his own murder on tape!” Sheriff Landon said.