“I don’t believe you,” I say shakily.

  “Don’t lie to yourself,” he rasps, his warm breath tickles my skin. His eyes harden with determination, undercut with a pleading tone. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you since that kiss and before that kiss. I fucked up, Ken. I fucked up. I didn’t know how to talk to the girl I liked, I was scared of my feelings, of how I’d always want to be near you. I fucked it all up and I can’t take it back. I can’t change the past. But I won’t fuck it up now. You hear me? I’m not going to mess this up. I won’t mess us up.”

  “There is no ‘us’,” I say faintly.

  He lifts an eyebrow, coming closer. “You sure about that, Ken?”

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  No.

  Definitely not sure.

  Stop lying.

  “Really,” he rasps softly, his mouth is grazing mine.

  “Really -“

  Roman smashes his mouth to mine.

  It’s hungry. Ravishing. All-consuming.

  He bites my bottom lip, teasing and punishing for teasing him. I return his kisses, holding onto tight at his shirt, digging into the material, desperate to hold on. My defences crash to the floor. My eyes cloud over with sparks and fire; a dam that’s shut for over a year comes breaking through. Just like it was before.

  Just for him.

  A beep of a car wakes me out of my stupor. I push back, breathing heavily. His hands are still gripped around my waist. He’s breathing harshly, his eyes burning through. His hand moves to brush through my hair, his fingers stroking the side of my cheek. He cups my face with his hands, leaning forward, our noses brushing together. The sound that comes out is like a sigh of relief. “I need you back, Ken.”

  I collapse in exhaustion, putting my head on his chest. He envelopes me in a protective, possessive hug.

  “Can’t we just…can’t we just go back to the start? Start over?” He murmurs into my hair.

  “We can’t just pretend the past four years never happened, Roman.”

  “I know.”

  I lean away, trying to get out of his hold but his hands don’t let me go. I narrow my eyes at him but it’s devoid of the previous loathing; it comes across like a pout. A pouting, dejected Kennedy that’s staring up at her former enemy and now…

  Well, what is he now?

  What is Roman Johnson to me now?

  His eyes are brimming with an unrecognisable emotion, but I’ve seen it before; it’s the same stare when he kisses me, when he stares at me from the distance, thinking that I’m not aware of it. I swallow deeply.

  “You keep asking about Kyle. Why?”

  He sighs, bringing me closer. “Because I’m jealous, Ken. I’m jealous and I’ve always been jealous. I fucked it up, I know. It was all my fault our relationship was the way it was and I was responsible for it.”

  “Is that all?” I frown, looking into his face.

  There’s something else in his expression. Something he’s hiding.

  “What is it?”

  He sighs, rubbing face. “I didn’t want to talk about this.”

  “What?”

  “Kyle’s playing around here. His band’s pretty big now and…I just -“

  “You were worried in case he talked to me? Is that it?” I gasp.

  I remove myself from his grip. “Is that what this is? Your territorial instinct? Swoop in before Kyle even talks to me?”

  “Will you listen to me -” He growls.

  “Don’t bother,” I scoff. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

  “You gonna run away again?” He lifts his eyebrow.

  “Leave me alone,” I snap, walking away. To my surprise, he doesn’t follow me.

  I don’t know whether I’m relieved or disappointed.

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  I slam the door to my apartment, furious.

  I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

  I shouldn’t be dealing with petty crap like this. He pops up in my life and thinks he can ruin my mood because he’s got ego issues. I have my dad’s news to process. I haven’t got time for anything else.

  A thud of sadness crashes at my chest.

  Dad.

  Holly’s gone to class and it’s just me alone with my thoughts. I move to the cabinets, desperate to find some alcohol or something strong to numb the pain away. It’s a dumb decision but my thinking right now is anything but smart.

  A ring of the doorbell knocks me out my stupor.

  I move to the phone, picking it up. “Hello?”

  “It’s me,” Roman says roughly.

  “Go away,” I scoff, ready to hang up.

  “Please, Ken. Please let me just explain,” he sighs tiredly. None of the aggressive talk, none of the haughty, rich boy attitude - just a resigned pleading tone. It pulls at my heart.

  Call me weak but I let him in. The buzzer goes off and he knocks on the door a couple of minutes later.

  I open the door. Roman’s fierce gaze finds mine, stealing my breath away.

  He looks unbelievably handsome.

  Staring at me like I’m everything he wants.

  It’s impossible to find the words to push him away.

  “Can I come in?” He says hoarsely.

  I nod numbly, watching as he enters, closing the door behind him. We’re inches away. I walk back slowly, he matches my steps until the back of my knees hit the couch. I hold on the back for support but he grabs hold of my waist, pulling me to him. Electricity sparks up my spine, my skin tingling with warmth where he touches me.

  “You’re only going to hurt me, aren’t you?” I whisper.

  My eyes go bright with determination, staring hard at him. His blue eyes darken, watching me intently. He leans forward.

  “I want to be the best man I can be for you. I let you go once, I’m never doing it again.” He growls gently, his warm breath tickling my skin. We’re both breathing heavily, our eyes are locked in a fierce battle of wits.

  Hunger, desire and longing.

  Those are the emotions that I see in Roman’s stare. The stare that evaded my understanding for so long.

  Not any more.

  “Why me?”

  It’s a quiet question but Roman hears it, frowning.

  “If you saw yourself the way I see you, you wouldn’t ever need to ask that. But I can try telling you,” he murmurs into my throat. I shiver at the contact. “Or show you.”

  Oh God.

  This is pure temptation.

  And I’m drowning in it.

  I’m drowning in him.

  “You don’t want me,” I whisper. “You want to win.”

  He recoils, leaning back. A cold rush of air swarms my warm skin, instantly missing his touch. “Is that what you really think?”

  “Why else would you want me?”

  He grips my face in his large hands, refusing to let me avoid his gaze. It burns brightly, fierce and unapologetic. “You’re the only girl I’ve ever wanted. The only girl that haunts my dreams, makes me feel like I’m home. You are that girl for me, Ken. You’re the only girl who makes my heart beat like crazy and you don’t even know it. You don’t even know how fucking precious you are to me.”

  “I want you, Ken. I’ve always wanted you.”

  His words knock the breath out of me.

  Roman smashes his lips to mine. His kisses are fierce. Hot. Heavy. Unrelenting. His tongue openly strokes the inside of my mouth, tasting and searching for more. I return his brazen touches, my body on fire, my mind in torment.

  It’s everything I needed.

  The more I let go, the more I give into this sinful touches, the world simply vanishes around me. Nothing but Roman is all I feel. My troubles, stresses and worries disintegrate when he wraps his arms around my waist, gripping me close, kissing me with every shred of passion in his being.

  His hard arousal presses into my stomach. The action startles me. Roman isn’t fazed. He grinds against me slowly, pushing his hardness against my soft body. I feel every inch of his desire.

  My mouth opens in anticipation, gasping.

  Roman directs his attention to my neck, kissing harshly at a sensitive spot. I moan softly. My hands clutch his muscular arms tightly, digging into his skin. If the action is painful to him, he doesn’t show it; instead, he kisses my neck fervently, pulling me closer.

  He leans back, his dark, lustful gaze piercing through mine.

  “Do you want this?”

  His voice is hoarse, rasping with desire. I clear my throat, panting heavily.

  “Do I need to say it?” I murmur.

  “Yes,” he grunts.

  “Then yes,” I reply. “I want you.”

  Without a moment’s hesitation, he picks up my weight in his arms, moving backwards onto the couch and placing me down, instantly looming over my form. He watches me with an animalistic hunger, searching my body with his ravenous stare.

  Roman’s hand trails my collarbone. My body instantly reacts, leaning into his touch. Without taking his eyes off me, he guides his hands across my chest, lifting the shirt. I help him take it off, leaving me in my bra. He greedily takes in the sight, palming my left breast. I moan at the touch, aching for more contact.

  “Roman, please,” I breathe.

  His eyes flash with desire. “Say my name again.”

  “Roman, Roman please” I touch his chest.

  He speedily takes off my bra, leaving my chest completely bare. I’m tempted to cover up, unsure if this is too fast for him but he groans at the sight, leaning forward.

  “Fuck, I’ve wanted this for so long,” he rasps. His dark eyes catch mine, watching as his mouth hovers my nipple. “And I always get what I want, Ken.”

  He takes my nipple in his mouth, sucking the pebble hard. I curse loudly, gripping his hair tightly. My body arches off the couch, relishing the way his skilful tongue swirls around the nub, kissing my breasts like a man starved. He continues his ministrations on my other breast, kissing my body passionately.

  My core pulsates desperately for him.

  I should be stronger.

  I should resist him.

  I know it’s wrong to kiss a former enemy like him.

  All types of wrong.

  But I don’t want to stop.

  I want all of this.

  “You’re thinking out loud,” he murmurs. His hand massages my thigh, caressing the area dangerously close to my core.

  “Kind of hard not to,” I chuckle weakly. His fingers find their way to the inside of my thighs, the pad of his thumb stroking the outer area of my dripping center. I bite my lip, swallowing down the breathy moans.

  He leans back, gripping my face with one hand, the other still placed down there. “Stay with me.”

  How does he do that?

  How does he read my thoughts like that?

  He doesn’t know me.

  He doesn’t know my life.

  But then he’s trying. He wants to be let in.

  You’re holding the keys over his head…let him in.

  Let him in.

  I nod mutely. That’s all he needs to continue.

  With his grip on my waist, his hand trails back up to my core. Roman’s heated gaze penetrates mine unashamedly, watching intently with that passion scorching his stare. Without breaking eye contact, his hand firmly massages the soaked spot between my legs.

  “Fuck,” I moan loudly. My hands clutch his arms in desperation.

  I feel my cheeks burn at my brazen desire but right now I don’t care, I just want him, I want him to keep touching me.

  I want him to make me forget it all.

  Roman enters one finger inside me, followed by another. I whimper in pleasure at the intrusion, my body tensing at the delicious friction. He hesitates before moving any further, reading my gaze.

  “You okay?” He says hoarsely.

  I nod, guiding his hand, urging him to continue. “Don’t stop.”

  Prompted by my guidance, he thrusts his fingers slowly but rhythmically inside, allow me to adjust. He kisses me fiercely, continuing his ministrations down below as his fingers increase their speed.

  I glance at his face and I nearly arch my back with my release. Roman is utterly hooked to my reactions, entrapped by the writhing girl under him. Sensing that I’m near my release, his thumb quickly rubs at my swollen clit at a punishing pace while hitting a sensitive spot that sends me crying in ecstasy. His gaze and the intensity of his touch is too much all at once. My inner walls clamp down on his fingers, clenching in sweet pleasure.

  “Roman!”

  His mouth smashes against mine, kissing me softly.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs against my lips.

  CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

  Roman wastes no time prying my legs open after my first high, stroking the sensitive folds in-between. He rolls down the ends of my soaking panties between my legs, openly exposing my hot, soaked center. The rush of cold air hits my swollen pussy and my cheeks continue to burn in bashfulness. Out of nerves, I close my legs together, unused to this brazen exposure. But Roman is having none of that. His hands grip the sides of my legs, opening me up, tenderly stroking my clit. I moan at the tender touch.

  “Don’t hide from me,” he says softly. He hovers over me, granting me a heated kiss. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I cover my face. My cheeks are definitely on fire. “Don’t lie.”

  He unfurls them, staring at me with a sharp intensity. “You’re fucking beautiful and don’t you forget it, Ken.”

  My heart swells and tears start to build up. I close my eyes, moving in to kiss him fiercely. He leans in to grant me a sensual kiss before moving back, undoing his belt and aligning his cock to my entrance. Roman reaches behind his jeans pocket and bites open a condom, placing it on. Once it’s done, he gives me a heated stare.

  “Are you sure this is what you want?” He rasps.

  I nod. “I want you.”

  His eyes flash with desire and longing. Prompted by my words, he adjusts himself, the tip teasing at my entrance. I let out a shaky exhale, nodding for him to continue. He pushes in fully, filling me slowly and I gasp at his size and the pleasurable burn.

  Roman looks down in concern, his forehead leaning on top of mine. It’s like he’s fighting with himself. A battle between exercising restraint and reigning in his instinct to have his way with me, to take me right there and then.

  I nod my head after a moment. At the motion, he snaps a hard thrust, causing my back to arch in pleasure. Roman slowly increases his pace, slamming into me and I roll my hips in response, encouraging him to go faster.

  I moan at his thrusts, meeting his movements, pulling him into me. Roman reaches down, rubbing my clit harshly with the pad of his thumb, staring intently. I arch my back in pleasure.

  The dam starts to break.

  “Roman!”

  He groans in my ear, slamming one harsh thrust in a spot that leaves me seeing stars. I twitch around him, clenching hard.

  Roman sends a couple of hard, frantic thrusts before he groans at his release. His eyes are clenched shut in pleasure before he falls into the curve of my neck.

  “Fuck,” he murmurs softly.

  He kisses me softly on the forehead, still inside me. The action sends butterflies to my stomach.

  The intimacy.

  It’s overwhelming.

  Everything is too much.

  He moves off me, heading to the bathroom to clean himself up. It takes me a moment to gather my thoughts. I lean up, grabbing a blanket to cover myself as Roman comes back with a wash cloth, cleaning me up. He looks up at me, staring intently.

  I blush under his gaze. “What?”

  His eyes soften. He moves his hand over my cheek.“I thought I’d never see you again.”

  ——

  I frown. “Why would you think that?.”

  He looks down, twisting the cloth softly. “I stayed true to our promise. I promised to leave you alone.”

  “So what changed?”

  His eyes darken with amusement, peeking up. “Seeing you cheering on the opposition’s team, right here at UCLA, right under my nose. Did you think you could hide it?”

  “Obviously.”

  “Someone would have found out eventually.”

  “Not really,” I purse my lips.

  “How’d you figure that one out?” He leans closer.

  I swallow deeply, straightening my back. “Well for one thing, I never kept up with my social media, not enough to update where I’m going or where I’m studying. No-one aside from my dad and Gina knows I’m here. It was just the matter of making sure we didn’t cross paths.”

  “I asked you, I asked you and you lied to me but Gina knew?” He narrows his stare.

  “I don’t owe you anything.”

  “Not even a sorry?” He lifts an eyebrow.

  “Not even that.”

  I’m pushing his buttons and I love every minute of challenging Roman. I’ve spent years being quiet, hiding under the gaze of my bullies, hoping to blend in but now, it’s all different. Now, I don’t have to be around any of them. I have my own identity without days of being treated like shit. And Roman can’t put me in the corner.

  His blue eyes light up, enthralled and awakened by my defiance. “You’re making it impossible for me to leave you alone.”

  “Would it have made a difference if I apologised? Would you have left me be?”

  “Not for a second,” he says without missing a beat.

  Roman grabs the back of my head, kissing me fervently. It’s a possessive kiss but there’s a gentle pleading undercurrent, almost as though he’s afraid I’ll disappear again, leaving him once more.

  I moan softly.

  Heat builds between my legs. I grab onto his shoulders, leaning into his touch. He grabs me by the waist, placing me over his legs. I feel his manhood harden again as it brushes against my thigh. I shudder at the sensation.

  “Again?” I whisper.

  “Do you know how long I’ve waited for you? For this? You were always in my head, day in day out, I couldn’t escape you no matter how much I tried, no matter how often I pushed you to your limit; I couldn’t let go. I still can’t,” he pants heavily. His heated, dark gaze captures mine. “I still won’t.”