Was Lilly nervous to be with Vivian without her family around? And without Mr. Sand?

  Yes.

  Vivian was just as nervous, if not more.

  Nevertheless, both women placed their hesitation, anger and hurtful feelings aside and committed to the date.

  It had been years since they stepped into the famous restaurant that had a similar lineup of those who wanted to meet with Vivian at Sunderland’s. Long. Around the block long. Of course, the girls were smart and decided to go early, before anyone with a hangover from the Saturday night before, wanted a freshly squeezed orange juice. At around 7:30 AM, Vivian stepped into her Chevrolet, as her mother’s car, the pink powder puff was long gone. In the driver’s seat, she pulled down the mirror on her car’s visor, to make sure that her foundation hadn’t fallen into her creases. No such luck; it fell. She shrugged and added a giggle as she turned on the ignition and drove the fifteen minutes to Lilly’s home.

  While Lilly was waiting by her window, she thought about the game she would play in her mind called “alternate universe” and think of what would happen if Vivian’s Travel Set worked out. There was no scamming, nor a need for any intervention of attacking the Johnson women on the department store floor. Would they still be friends? Would she be famous and rich? Would they still be friends?

  These questions, especially the latter, kept repeating over and over in her head as she walked to Vivian’s car as she saw it pull up in her driveway. It was fall, and the leaves had just turned. To the left of her driveway was a bright red tree. She stopped walking to admire the perfect cherry dark red color the tree wore and embraced the slight chill she felt at the back of her neck. She knew she wasn’t the only one who would appreciate that stunning red hue as over the years, it was Mr. Sand and Vivian who taught her how to seek out and appreciate beauty, as it was everywhere.

  There she was. Grinning with her trademark bright red lips and dyed jet-black hair neatly styled in a headband. Lilly got into the car, sat herself down, placed her purse in her lap, and faced Vivian.

  “For sixty-five, we look pretty damn good!” Vivian announced.

  Lilly shook her head and smiled at her friend. It felt good to be with her and she had an internal desire to start this friendship again.

  Over to Beauty’s where they were the first ones to walk in. As soon as they both sat down, they ordered the usual. A bagel, lox and cream cheese with tomato and onion, with coffee, of course. Diving right into conversation, about where they used to sit in the restaurant, their days at Sunderland’s and where to spend the winter. After breakfast, they shared a bowl of their favorite, rice pudding, and began to speak of Mr. Sand which completely changed the course of the pleasant past hour.

  “It was a lovely funeral,” Vivian said.

  And then it happened. Without warning, Lilly’s response burst out of her mouth in an angry tone. The idea of starting the friendship again was not off to a good start.

  “How can you call it lovely?”

  “Because it was,” Vivian said as she stared at Lilly in shock.

  “I wouldn’t use that word, even if I did attend,” Lilly said with a sour face.

  “Why didn’t you come?” Vivian quickly asked.

  Lilly looked to the left, as she didn’t know where to begin. She did know one thing, her breakfast was not sitting well in her stomach, and wondered if she was going to be sick. Maybe it was the lox, she thought. No more finding the good or giving one for the team. The bandage was off, and the air was stinging the deep scrape.

  “Lill?” Vivian asked.

  Lilly looked straight ahead at Vivian and tried to keep her cool by taking deep breaths as she collected her thoughts because the rage was getting the best of her. She reached for a glass of water and took a sip. She didn’t want to just yell; she wanted to scream her head off and yell “Why couldn’t you let me in?” But she kept quiet, for now as Vivian stirred the pot with her ceremonious manner that was really getting on Lilly’s nerves.

  “Oh, no”—Vivian waved her polished red fingernail in the air— “there’s more to it. What’s going on?” Vivian probed, but to no avail; Lilly wasn’t budging. “Why didn’t you come to the funeral?”

  “I don’t like funerals,” Lilly said a flat out lie. Lilly wrestled to let her anger out, to tell Vivian how she really felt. Just say it! Say it! She screamed inside her head. Vivian rolled her eyes.

  “Oh my God. Who does?” Vivian said with her arms out wide. “You didn’t have to leave Sunderland’s, you know,” Vivian said. It was if she reached into her purse to pull out a box of matches. Slowly taking out a single match.

  “I can’t get into this now,” Lilly shot back, as that response was so much easier to say. That can of worms needed to be opened, but not now. Not at Beauty’s. But when? she thought. That little match sure looked enticing. If Vivian wasn’t going to strike it and place it under Lilly’s tuchas, she was going to reach out and grab it out of her hand to do it herself. Just not yet.

  “Why not?” Vivian prompted, striking the match.

  “I just can’t,” Lilly said as she stared at the imaginary fire on the tip of the match. Place it over here. Over here. Insinuating the energy to the lower part of her body.

  “Lilly, for God’s sake, answer me—what is going on here? Why are you so upset? I said I was sorry!” Vivian said in a stern voice as the fire was now directly under Lilly’s tuchas and the fire ignited into a blaze. All hell broke loose.

  “How could you treat me that way?” Lilly yelled as the heat from the flames rose to her face as the pain drove her words. Her eyes grew as she drew in some breath. The hum of customers’ conversation at Beauty’s arrived at a complete halt. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes to deal with the rush of blood that made its way to her face. She felt overwhelmed as there was too much to say, and all Lilly could do was ask that first question and leave. And that’s what she did.

  “Treat you in what way?” Vivian blurted out.

  “I tried to help you,” Lilly softly said, while Vivian looked straight into Lilly’s eyes as if she was stabbed in her heart as she was unable to go back to that painful experience that ripped her ego into shreds.

  Lilly knew one thing for sure; she and Vivian had a wonderful friendship, filled with laughter, support, and love. But those things could only go so far when something goes very wrong. Vivian sat there, holding her coffee cup, feeling all the eyes that looked her way as Lilly got up from their table, left a $20 bill, and walked out of the restaurant to hail a taxi to take her home.

  Geraldine

  A few days after Vivian and Lilly went for breakfast, Corrine called her mother Lilly and shared that Geraldine was having a difficult time with friends at school and couldn’t get through to her. “When you come over on Sunday, let her stay here for a while, you know how she loves to play with the shoes in my closet. That will get her talking,” Lilly said to her daughter.

  “I’m always out in this game that we play at recess,” Geraldine whined to her grandmother as she sat on the floor of her closet and reached to the third shelf to pull out a silver high heeled number with a four-inch heel.

  “Bubbe—how could you wear these? They are so hiiighhhhh!”

  “I know … one time I did. Can’t now. Go ahead, try them on!” Lilly said as she found the mate of the shoe, which made her think of her initiation days in the basement of Sunderland’s—cleaning the shoe shelves, one by one, and finding the pair that went together. A giggle escaped her.

  “What’s so funny?” Geraldine asked.

  “Oh, just a memory of working at Sunderland’s.”

  “With Vivian?” Geraldine asked as she took off her socks and wiggled her foot into the narrow and dainty high-heeled shoe.

  “Yup.”

  “They’re pretty!” Geraldine said as she slowly stood up and hobbled to the mirror to check herself out.

  “They sure are,” Lilly said, as she walked toward where her granddaughter was standing in the mirror, held onto her shoulders and looked at their reflection. She loved spending time with her granddaughter. It was such a special time, and she cherished it.

  “Why are you smiling so brightly, Bubbe?”

  “I’m happy you’re here,” Lilly said as she closed her eyes and hugged her grandchild.

  “I’m glad I’m here, too. I like it here.”

  “Why?” Lilly asked, hoping to dig into the soul of her granddaughter.

  “I can just be myself. It’s easy.”

  “That’s a very important feeling to have,” Lilly said while she turned to her shelves of shoes to see what else Geraldine could try on and to keep her from crying. “So, what’s this about you always being out in this game you play at school?”

  “Oh that—yeah, it’s this stupid game at school. Everyone’s playing it.”

  “Do all of your friends play it?”

  “Not all.”

  “Do you like playing it?”

  “I guess.”

  “Do you like playing it with your friends?”

  “Which friends?”

  “What do you mean which friends. The friends you have at school,” Lilly asked, which really confused Geraldine because she wasn’t sure who her real friends were.

  * * *

  Geraldine stood near the jump rope and the friend group that went with it and looked up at the two girls who held the rope militantly between their legs. Their hands were on their hips, and they were staring right at her, lips sealed and eyes glaring.

  “GO!” another said, loudly.

  Every eye felt like a dagger, and sadly, Geraldine was beginning to get used to the pain, but that wouldn’t do. Someone was about to help her who didn’t have the medicine she needed but the desire to get to the root of the problem—a far wiser solution for any type of pain.

  “Hey, whatcha doin’?” a familiar voice said behind her back.

  Geraldine quickly turned around and saw her science class partner, who was a whole head and shoulders smaller than Geraldine. She was carrying a glass jar with a mosquito in it.

  Mosquito Girl (MG) instigated way too much misbehaving during class, which was usually welcomed, like a dive in the lake on a steaming hot day, especially after Geraldine’s usual recess sessions.

  Geraldine had a front row seat to witness this mighty force in action, who had a keen eye for justice and a voice that made so much sense. Whether she challenged their teacher—“Are you sure you are right about that theory?”—or saw someone step out of line— “You can’t leave your garbage on the floor like that! What were you, brought up in a barn?”—her wise words and challenges were shared with all who would listen and those who wouldn’t. Yes, there were a handful of heads that would turn away, but that was their loss. Geraldine admired and almost envied MG’s presence, hoping one day to be able to dig deep into matters that meant so much to her and fearlessly educate the world, just like she did.

  “You’ve got to see what this little guy does! Come with me!” MG said as she held her jar tight. Although she was as serious as a surgeon with the things that mattered most to her, there was such a playful side to her that Geraldine loved, that made her feel comfortable and allowed her to be herself.

  MG was smiling from ear to ear, encouraging Geraldine to come with her. And she did.

  “Hey, where are you going?” Queen Leader (QL) asked while Geraldine began to walk away, wondering why she even cared. QL was clearly not her friend but her toy that she liked to bash around. Geraldine looked at MG and asked for direction with her eyes, which, miraculously, she completely understood.

  “Why are you giving a second of your energy to these clowns?”

  “They’re not clowns—they’re cool.”

  “Really? Do cool people make you feel like shit? Tell you are out of a game when you are clearly not—and I have seen you play—you are not out,” MG said with gusto. As harsh as her comment was, it was the truth that made Geraldine realize what a real friend was and gave her full permission to walk away.

  * * *

  Later that week, Lilly took Geraldine to Sunderland’s to buy a pair of shoes for a party. From working there all those years, Lilly was still entitled to a discount, along with a fruit cake that was delivered to her home every Mother’s Day. The only requirement was that Lilly had to be present to purchase the item, which suited Lilly just fine, as the opportunity to shop with her granddaughter was a special time for them both. But Vivian would be there, and she would have to face her. Again. The ladies have not spoken since their breakfast date nearly a month ago, which made Lilly’s stomach turn upside down as soon as she approached the marble tiles that housed the hunter green-framed glass doors.

  As soon as they entered the store, Geraldine spotted Vivian right away and waved and looked up at her grandmother to lead the way. She knew there was tension between them, as she felt her Bubbe’s anxiousness on their way downtown.

  “How are you, ladies? Vivian asked as she leaned on her glass counter.

  “We’re here to buy a pair of shoes for a party!” Geraldine proudly announced.

  “Exciting! Well, it’s a good thing you have your Bubbe with you. She knows her stuff—even though she doesn’t work here anymore.”

  “You bet she knows her stuff. My Bubbe knows everything.”

  “Really!” Vivian said as she rested her elbows on the counter and placed her face on her hands so she could be at Geraldine’s eye level.

  “Well, not everything,” Geraldine admitted.

  “What kind of things does she know?” Vivian asked as she walked around her counter to walk them to the shoe department.

  “Like what a friend really is,” Geraldine answered.

  “And what’s that sweetheart?” Vivian asked.

  “Someone who loves you exactly how you are. No matter what … I learned that from my new friend at school and from your friend.”

  “What friend of mine are you talking about, dear?” Lilly asked.

  “Mr. Sand.”

  “Mr. Sand passed away, darling,” Vivian said.

  “I know. He called my mom just before he died to tell her that.”

  * * *

  What do you know? The next day, just before lunch, an invitation to play Chinese jump rope was given once again.

  “No,” Geraldine replied, armed with her newfound knowledge and power.

  At dinner that evening, another invitation came by phone.

  “No,” Geraldine said to the receiver and then banged down. Corrine gave her daughter a concerned look. “Ah, she deserved it,” Geraldine said as Corrine watched her daughter walk back to her seat at the dinner table in amazement. This was a refreshing new side to Geraldine that was filled with confidence, and she was proud.

  And one more, by a note in class. Geraldine wrote a “No,” in fancy cursive, just because she could.

  This went on for weeks, and Geraldine didn’t understand why they were not getting the message. The following day, as she was minding her own business, hanging around with Ellie, Michelle, and MG on the playground, QL entered their territory with the Chinese jump rope in her hand, swinging it, and smiling. It was the drug that Geraldine savored. And still wanted.

  “What? What are you doing?” MG yelled, feeling frustrated that she could go back there, But Geraldine didn’t hear her and followed QL for more torture because that was what it was. That was what she knew.

  “No. No. I’m coming with you,” MG said to deaf ears, as she followed the girls to their part of land. She was on a mission, and this was a goodie. There was no way that her friend was going to be treated like garbage if she had anything to say about it, and my goodness, did she ever.

  The thick and firm elastic was pulled tight around two sets of legs. Geraldine stood beside the rope and paused as she was strategizing her next move. She gazed at the length of the rope and looked up at all that was around her. She spotted MG, who stared straight at her and mouthed, “No.”

  Geraldine stopped. She finally felt the negative energy from these girls that made her feel awful and wanted no part of it. “I am so outta here,” she said as she briskly walked away from the game while MG followed. She really wanted to continue playing and prove them wrong, but she didn’t need to.

  The day after school, Geraldine went to go visit her Bubbe Lilly, as she needed to tell her what she had done. It was a proud moment in her thirteen-year-old life. But before she began her story, she had to share two things that stood out.

  “I am no longer playing that stupid game … But I couldn’t have done it without help.”

  “What do you mean?” Lilly asked.

  “They couldn’t see me.”

  “Who couldn’t see you, sweetheart?”

  “Them! Those girls. That game. It’s all about the people you hang out with. They must be good. And kind. Real. And when things go wrong, you need to ask for help—even though it’s hard. Accepting help is even harder, especially when you have been scarred.”

  “Scarred?” Lilly asked.

  “Scarred with hard stuff that you went through.”

  Lilly slumped in a nearby chair and became awakened from her granddaughter’s wise words.

  * * *

  There was no timeline on anything, and things happened as they were supposed to. Despite the many occasions that Lilly wanted to talk about what happened with Vivian, she was unable to. Was it the lack of patience? The incorrect words? The inability to listen without judgement? Vivian was keeping her trauma inside of her, which was forbidding her to accept the help that she needed, let alone a real friend who would accept her as she was, imperfections and all.

  People and situations are placed in front of us for a reason, and most of the time, they are not in our control, but the instances keep coming back until the lesson is learned.

  The visits from Geraldine were gifts for Lilly and Vivian. Bringing messages to them both that hit home. Lilly was ready to explode as, she couldn’t take it anymore, but didn’t know what to do about it since every time she approached Vivian, she got shut down. But this time it was unavoidable, as it was Vivian who approached Lilly, but it wasn’t her intention to.