“How do you know that?”

  “Because he let you send him off with the dog and he’s been eating vegan. Sweetie, a man like that doesn’t suffer silently. He goes and does what he wants unless he wants something else more. I think you’re the something he wants more. A man like Connor doesn’t come around very often. You shouldn’t let him slip through your fingers.”

  “We haven’t known each other for very long. I don’t really know if my fingers want him yet.” She was lying, but she just wasn’t ready to admit the truth.

  “So? You knew Tom for years before you slept with him, and how did that work out?”

  Kiki had several very good points. None of them actually solved the real problem. “I’m scared. After what happened with Niall, I’m scared that Connor is playing me to get me to do what he wants or to make his job easier . . . I don’t know. I just don’t trust how I feel about him.”

  “You’ve been out of the game way too long. You know, I think you stuck it out with Tom those last two years you were together. You should have just gotten out. You weren’t happy with him.”

  She hadn’t been. Tom had gotten possessive. He’d made demands on her time that didn’t make sense. It all culminated in the nastiest fight of her life and a broken engagement. They’d gotten back to being friends, but she was still a little wary. Tom had changed when they started having sex. They were much better as friends. What if she had that effect on Connor, too? Although it wasn’t like she and Connor had a real friendship to fall back on. On the other hand, that meant she didn’t have as much to lose. “It was comfortable. Well, it was and it wasn’t.”

  “You didn’t want to admit you’d made a mistake. You thought Tom checked off all your boxes. He was politically in the right place. He was smart, attractive, supportive.”

  “He lied about being a vegan.” Tom had claimed to convert when she’d done it. They were in college and he’d been right beside her. He’d shoved it in her face when they’d broken up, telling her he’d never believed in any of it and had only done it to get her into bed.

  “Honey, very few people can live that way.”

  It wasn’t in their nature. Like Lincoln’s. It definitely wasn’t in Connor’s and yet he hadn’t complained. Oh, she could tell he hadn’t loved her tofu scramble this morning, but he’d actually complimented her black bean tacos and had a second and third helping. He was trying to fit into her life.

  Maybe she should bend a little. “I’m not going to lie to you. I think about Connor a lot. But I don’t know if things can work out long term with someone like him.”

  “Not everything has to be long term. Lara, I love you like a sister, but you have to let go of the idea that your life is going to be a model of perfection. You’ve always been so afraid to make mistakes. The one thing you took a chance on has become the passion of your life.”

  Capitol Scandals. Her baby. Sure, her baby was built on stories about the president’s penis, but it had done more good than all her protesting days. She’d actually helped victims of scams and political cover-ups—real people. And when she’d started she’d been so scared she’d shut the site down three times before she calmed enough to let it work.

  Was she doing the same thing with Connor? Did she think a thing was only worth doing if it was guaranteed to turn out right?

  “I want him.”

  Kiki nodded. “You should. He’s the single hottest man I’ve ever met.”

  There was more to it than that. He was electric in some odd way she’d never experienced before. Even when he was sitting perfectly still, she could practically feel the energy pouring off him. Every time she touched him she felt a connection. “It’s not just about his looks.”

  “No, it’s not. There’s something about that man. When I look at him I just know he could take care of me in bed. I think if he wanted to he could pretty much take care of everything. He’s a perfect specimen of alpha male.”

  Lara hated the flare of jealousy that sparked through her system.

  Kiki pointed. “You don’t like how I talked about him. That’s the second time. You’re possessive. I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “Because it’s not something I want to be.” Jealously was a useless, destructive emotion.

  “What’s wrong with a little possessiveness?” Kiki asked. “I can assure you if you get into Connor’s bed, he’s not going to share you. He’s going to be a caveman and he’ll club any man who tries to take what’s his.”

  His. Her whole body seemed to flare hot at the thought. She was a modern woman. She wasn’t supposed to belong to anyone but herself. And yet the idea of being Spencer Connor’s woman lit her up like nothing she’d ever felt. He was everything she shouldn’t want, but she was starting to wonder if Kiki was right and she wasn’t overthinking things. She couldn’t run her love life like she ran her website.

  “I didn’t expect I’d ever want someone like him,” Lara admitted. “I expected to find someone who made me feel peaceful and secure. I don’t feel that way around him.”

  “You’re looking for something that doesn’t exist. Or maybe it does, but it shouldn’t. You want to love a man, but not too much. Not so much that you’re plagued with real, nasty human emotions. Love can make you do some really bad things. It isn’t always positive. You don’t know that because you’ve never really loved someone with your whole heart, so much that you’d be willing to do anything for him. You don’t want to find out that you’re just like the rest of us.”

  Lara stared at her best friend, unsure of who she really was in that moment. “I never meant to make you feel bad. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else.”

  Kiki sighed. “Don’t mind me. I’m being a jealous bitch.” She reached out and took Lara’s hand. “I’m going through some things I’m not ready to talk about and I’m taking it out on you. I’m sorry. It’s not fair and I’m doing it because I know you’ll still care about me.”

  “I will.”

  Kiki squeezed her hand. “Sometimes I get jealous because you seem to have everything together and I’m still a mess. It’s my issue and I’ll get over it. In the meantime, think about what I said. Passion can be messy. You’ve spent most of your life spreading all that love and compassion you have around. That’s easy. Those people you help aren’t really a part of your life. You get to walk in and be the hero and walk back out. This is harder. Friendships aren’t necessarily neat. Relationships don’t always end the way you want them to, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn from them. Take the leap. Live a little.”

  Lara thought she was living, but now she had to reassess. With the singular exception of her website, she’d done what was expected of her and tried very hard to not fail. At anything. That was why she’d said yes to Tom. She hadn’t really wanted to be his wife, but saying no would mean the relationship had failed. It would have meant she’d failed.

  Calling a halt to her wedding had been a massive leap of faith but it had paid off for both her and Tom. Was she ready to leap again?

  Any sort of future with Connor was impossible. Or maybe it wasn’t. How the hell would she know if she didn’t even try?

  “You think too much.” Kiki forced her to look into her eyes. “Look at me. Do you want him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will you regret it if you don’t try?”

  She knew the answer to that one. “Absolutely.”

  “Then you know what to do.”

  Oh, she was so wrong. “No. No, I don’t. What do I do? Do you think I should write him a note?”

  “Oh, dear god. Don’t. Don’t write him a note.”

  “I don’t think he’ll be impressed with a song.”

  “You give men way too much credit, sweetie. Just tell him yes. That’s really all he needs. He’ll take it from there. It wouldn’t hurt if you cooked him something he wants to eat. You can get some grass-fed organic beef where the ranchers massage the cows and send them on spa days and stuff.”

  “I don’t think that exists, but I did promise him burgers tonight. He would be surprised if it wasn’t a big mushroom.”

  “And pleased.”

  Compromise. It made the world a better place sometimes. “All right. But I’m getting premade patties so I don’t have to touch it.”

  He’d told her to kiss him. He’d offered to let her explore. Was the offer even still open?

  “That was the White House.” Her father stepped back to the bench they’d chosen. He kept staring at his phone like he was stunned. “The president is interested in one of the projects my committee is working on and he wants to talk to me.”

  “That’s great.”

  “He’s invited you to come with me.”

  That was surprising. “I don’t think I should go to the White House. Don’t they have a ban on people like me? Like a no-fly list. I’ve protested Zack Hayes enough that I should be on that list.”

  A man darted past their bench, his long legs sprinting. The movement had both security guards on edge. They stepped in, wedging themselves between the runner and Lara and her dad. Kiki stepped up, getting in front of Lara.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I don’t know,” Kiki admitted. “It seemed like the right thing to do.”

  The man was running the other way. It looked like he was just taking a shortcut. People ran through the park all the time.

  The security guards were a little oversensitive.

  Connor returned, his gaze on both guards. He shoved Lincoln her way but spoke to the suits. “You two idiots, stay here. Did you not notice the asshole stalking her?”

  Connor took off in the same direction as the other guy, loping away with the easy movements of a predator.

  She tried to glance around the security guard. Had she just caught a glimpse of the man who’d sought to kill her at the bus stop? Lara tried to recall everything she’d noticed about that guy. It had all happened so quickly that she remembered the motorcycle and the gun and not much beyond that. Everything else had been nondescript . . . kind of like the guy she’d seen today. Maybe it had been him. And maybe it hadn’t. She wished she’d been paying more attention before he’d jogged off.

  Then she heard something rustle in the bushes behind her and turned, her heart racing. Was someone hiding there? Did her killer have a partner who’d distracted her security detail while he waited? Would this guy succeed in shooting her this time?

  “Something or someone is in there,” she whispered, pointing.

  “I’ll check.” The guard nodded to his partner and disappeared behind the wall of shrubs.

  It had seemed like a peaceful spot, serene and quiet. Now she scanned the park and all she could see were places where people could hide. The trees and bushes were more than lovely pieces of nature. They were barriers she couldn’t see around. Anyone could be watching. Anyone could be waiting for her.

  Then she felt someone’s stare fixed on her, felt malevolence.

  Her cell phone trilled as a text came in. She thought about ignoring it, but then decided she needed anything to take her mind off what had just happened. The panic that had plagued much of her childhood seemed right on the edge of her consciousness. If Tom had sent her some crazy anecdote about his job, maybe the normalcy would pull her back from the edge.

  The number of the originating text didn’t register as unknown until she’d already pulled it up. Already seen it.

  I can get you anytime. Anywhere. He can’t protect you.

  A picture accompanied the text. It was a picture of her from the previous night. In her own building. She was folding her favorite T-shirt and smiling at someone off camera. Connor.

  He’d been in her building—when she’d been sure she was safe.

  Despite the incident the day she’d met Connor, Lara hadn’t completely processed that someone was trying to hurt her. She’d wanted to buy into the cover story that the attack had been random and she’d simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The last few days had been so normal she’d convinced herself the shooting at the bus stop had been a fluke and met her dad in the park because she couldn’t stay cooped up a second longer.

  But she couldn’t deny the truth any longer. Someone wanted to kill her.

  By burying her head in the sand, she’d put her dad and Kiki in danger. For all she knew, the would-be assassin would shoot either of them to get to her. Or Connor, who was doing his best to hunt the gun-toting killer down right now.

  What if the hunter became the hunted?

  “Lara?” Kiki’s voice sounded far away.

  Her hands started to shake and the world just began to fade in her peripheral vision.

  “It’s a panic attack. She’s had them since she was a kid. They used to be so bad, she took medication.” Her father’s hands were on her, lifting Lincoln away.

  She heard a man’s low curse and then she felt hands on her face, lifting her chin up.

  “Hey, breathe for me, princess.” Suddenly Connor stared down at her, his handsome face seemingly the only real thing in the world. His hands moved, one reaching back to cup her neck and the other wrapping around her waist. “You’re fine. I told you I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you. I’m not going to. You’re fine and you’re here with me. So take a deep breath.”

  What if the stranger had killed him? What if he’d died for her? She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling sick.

  “Look at me.” He stared down at her. “Look at me and listen to my voice. Nothing else.”

  She managed to nod and take a shaky breath. Then she pried her eyes open.

  “He’s gone. He’s at least a mile away by now so he can’t hurt you. I’m going to find him, princess. Then he won’t be able to hurt anyone again, but I need you to stay with me.”

  Don’t give in to panic.

  He leaned forward, lowering his face to her forehead. “If you don’t calm down, I’m going to kiss you. I’ll do it right in front of your dad. I know how to calm you down.” He smoothed her hair back. “I’ll just keep kissing you until you believe me.”

  He did know how to calm her down. Now she wasn’t thinking about anything else.

  “I’m good. I’ll be okay.” She needed to tell him about the man in the bushes.

  “Good.” He raised his head, but his hands stayed on her body.

  “I think there were two of them.” She managed to say in gulpy breaths.

  Connor turned slightly, looking to the guard to her right. “What is she talking about?”

  The other guard was back. “She seemed to think someone was watching her from behind that bush. I did find tracks. They appear to be sneakers of some kind, but I’m not a tracker. They could be new, could be from hours ago. I don’t know. I don’t think anyone was there.”

  He started to let her go and she wobbled without his strength. He cursed under his breath and leaned over. Before she knew it, she was in his arms, cradled to his chest. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t bow before your powers of observation. You didn’t even realize that fucking jogger was watching her.”

  “I noticed him.”

  “But didn’t do anything?” Connor shook his head. “Get your head in the game. This is your job.” He cuddled Lara close then turned to the other guard. “And you were apparently going to stand around and let her have a panic attack. You’re not watching my charge ever again. Senator, I’m sorry for the rudeness but I’m responsible for Lara right now and I won’t let her out of my sight again. If you want to see her, you’ll have to set it up through me.”

  “Of course.” Her dad was watching them. “I think she got something on her cell phone. She was looking down at it when she went pale. I thought she was going to pass out.”

  “He sent me a text,” she managed to say, forcing herself to calm down. Somehow being in Connor’s arms gave her the peace of mind to control the chaos.

  “Kiki, hold it up for me.” Connor didn’t seem eager to let her go.

  Kiki did and Lara turned her head away, burying herself in the softness of Connor’s shirt.

  He cursed. “I need to get her home. Then I’m going to find where that bastard put it.”

  “Put what?” she asked.

  “The camera he has in the basement.”

  “He was there,” she gasped, feeling the blood leave her head.

  “No, princess. He wasn’t. I checked. But I’m thinking he’s got surveillance equipment set up. If that’s the case, I’ll find it and shut it down.”

  Somehow knowing that Connor was on the case made her relax. “You can put me down now.”

  “Not on your life. You’ll wobble and fall. Then I’ll have to take care of you. Kiki, could you walk Lincoln back to the building?”

  She nodded. “And Lara, I’ll stop by the store. I’ll get you everything you need.”

  “Thanks,” she murmured to Kiki with a grateful smile.

  “Stay safe, baby girl,” her dad said just over Connor’s shoulder.

  Lara would have loved to talk to her dad, to assure him that everything was fine, but Connor had made the decision to head for home—and was striding through the park as though he had no intention of stopping.

  She noticed a man in a Navy T-shirt, sweats, and sneakers. He was tall and handsome and his lips quirked up as they strode by.

  Lara clung to Connor, the panic starting to fade and a certain inevitability taking its place. Life was too short. She was going to give herself to him.

  She just hoped it wasn’t too late.

  SIX

  Connor pushed the button to the elevator with a deep sense of unease. He’d found one of the building’s security cameras in the basement. Someone with great skill had hacked into the feed. Someone likely close to Lara.

  He would really like to see what kind of setup Freddy had.