At least until the smoke alarm had gone off.

  Connor had set her down, kissed her forehead, and chuckled as he silenced the loud contraption. She’d burned her first try at making him a burger. Luckily, Kiki had brought her four patties, claiming a man as big as Connor could eat them all.

  He’d eaten three and a half. Lincoln had been fed the other half under the table. Yes, she’d caught that. Dinner was pleasant. Connor talked for a change. He’d told her about a group of friends he’d grown up with in small-town Connecticut. He’d asked her about Kiki and Tom. They’d talked about movies they liked. Not surprisingly, he was an action junkie. She preferred romantic comedies.

  They’d done the dishes in an easy, companionable fashion, and then he’d turned on a football game. The past three hours had crawled by as she stared at her computer screen, wondering what the hell that kiss had meant.

  Ten minutes before, he’d shown up in the doorway to her office and asked her to make him a drink and join him in the living room. She could feel his eyes on her the whole time. Now he was sitting on her couch, leaning back with his Scotch in his hand like a king surveying his palace.

  “Why did you cook for me tonight?” he asked, the question a deep, sexy rumble.

  She sat across from him. How to answer that question? Right after he’d kissed her, she likely would have blurted everything without thinking. Now, she’d had hours to worry that it was a mistake. He seemed to be in an odd mood, and she thought briefly about a pithy answer. He hadn’t asked her about cooking meat. Just cooking. “I was trying to be a good hostess.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Lie. Try again.”

  He could be so irritating. Why couldn’t he just be polite like other men? “Why does it matter?”

  “It matters to me.” He glowered.

  Two could play at that game. “Why did you kiss me?”

  “Because I want you very badly.”

  “Then why, after you shut off the smoke alarm, did you pretend like it didn’t happen?” That question had been bugging her all night. Had she kissed him wrong? Was she bad at it?

  He arched a single jet black brow. “I didn’t do that at all. After dinner, you were the one who said you needed to work. So I tried to spend as much time with you as I could. I talked with you, cleaned up with you, offered to watch TV with you. How was that pretending like it didn’t happen?”

  Put that way, it didn’t. “I meant, why didn’t you kiss me again?”

  “Ah, that’s what you’re upset about. I didn’t kiss you again because if I had, I would have taken you straight to bed and we would still be fucking. We would likely be fucking until we passed out.”

  And that was a problem, why? “So that game just seemed more interesting?”

  His eyes narrowed, those dark orbs pinning her to her seat. “I wasn’t interested in the game. I was giving us both a little time. That kiss hit me hard. I’m not a man who normally loses my head like that. I needed time to get my shit together. I wanted you to have time, too. Now that we’ve shared a pleasant evening, you can decide if sex with me is something you really want. I hope you’ve thought about it because if you say yes, we’re going to do this my way and I’m not sure you’re going to like that.”

  His way? His way had seemed really nice when he’d thrown her against the wall. Passion had welled up and she hadn’t been thinking about anything but him. It had been simple and he seemed determined to make it complicated. “What’s your way?”

  “I’m in charge. I’ll take control and you’ll either say yes or we’ll walk away.”

  “That seems harsh.” It was pretty much everything she feared about him. Spencer Connor didn’t seem like a man who understood the meaning of the word compromise. Although he had eaten with her all those days when she wasn’t cooking anything he liked. And he’d given in when she’d pushed him to let her out of the condo earlier in the day. He hadn’t even lectured her about how poorly the venture had gone.

  “It’s the only way I’ll have a physical relationship with you, and I pulled back to make sure you understand. You were saved by the bell, so to speak. I’m trying to be fair with you. I want you to walk into this clear eyed and with absolutely no romantic notions.”

  She didn’t like the sound of that. “So what you’re saying is all you’re willing to offer me is a few nights of sex and then you’ll leave me to the next man.”

  “I didn’t say that at all.” If it was possible, the room got cold. His eyes had turned into stony orbs. “You should understand there won’t be any other men. I won’t tolerate it, Lara. Maybe you believe in modern relationships where two people go to bed whenever they get an itch so they scratch it with whomever seems to be handy. When it comes to you, you’ll find I’m very old-fashioned. I won’t hesitate to defend what I consider mine. Don’t ever use another man to manipulate me. I will end him. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  He was saying if she got into bed with him, she would belong to him. “What do you really want from me?”

  His lips curled up. “Now you’re asking the right questions. This is why I gave us time. I don’t go into anything with a lackadaisical, hope-it-works-out attitude. I want things made plain. What do I want from you? I want your warmth and affection. I want your intelligence. I want your loyalty first and foremost. I want you to understand that I’m your lover and you owe me your trust above all others. I want your body. I want to be the man who introduces you to just how sensual you can be, and I want that to mean something to you.”

  He hadn’t mentioned a thing about love, but asking for her warmth and affection had done something to her. He was a man who needed it. His admission had lacked sentimentality, but Kiki’s words earlier were ringing in her ears. She’d spent years trying to find the perfect mate only to have it fall apart again and again. She’d been looking for someone like her. Connor was her polar opposite.

  Unlike Niall, Connor was being upfront and honest with her. It wasn’t perfect, but it was real.

  “And if the sex meant something to me, what could I expect from you? Besides the whole ‘death to any man who touches me’ thing.”

  His head fell back and his deep, almost musical laughter filled the room. When he looked back, warmth filled his gaze. “You’re the only one who can do that to me, princess.”

  “Make you laugh?” Her hands were shaking as she took a drink. Nerves. Anticipation. Just being near him made her both the tiniest bit anxious and thrilled. Connor was completely unknown territory.

  “Make me forget a lot of the reasons why I don’t laugh.” He patted his lap. “Come here.”

  She set her glass down. She’d kissed him twice, practically humping his leg both times, and yet sitting on his lap seemed so intimate. There would be no elevator doors opening or fire alarms going off. They were all alone and would be for the rest of the night. This was why he’d given them hours. He’d let her cool down, given her space to really understand he was different. A tiny part of her resented him for it. If he’d just kept kissing her, taken her to bed, she wouldn’t have to make the decision. Her body would have made it for her.

  “I can see you thinking. It’s got to be your choice. I’ll take care of you, but I refuse to be out of control. You can always tell me no, but I want you to use that no with discrimination. Trust me to know what your body needs.”

  “And outside the bedroom?” She couldn’t be his doormat. She couldn’t be a plaything he took out when he needed physical gratification.

  “I’m in charge of that too, princess, though I think you’ll find I can be deeply indulgent when I’m satisfied. Now answer the question and make your choice. Why did you feed me tonight?”

  “Because I wanted to make you happy.” There it was, the only honest answer to his question. But it left her vulnerable.

  Connor rewarded her with a toe-curling smile. He patted his knee again, offering her a place. “That’s what I wanted to hear. Come and sit on my lap, Lara. I want you. I want you more than I’m comfortable admitting. I know I should let you go, but I can’t.”

  She’d studied this man for days. The men she’d been around would have coaxed her, used their charm on her. Connor was simply honest. When she thought about it, the entire evening had been his version of seduction. Giving her time had been an indulgence, but he needed to know she came to him with her eyes open.

  He wanted sex, yes. But he also sought her warmth and affection because he needed those things. If he’d just called her hot and said he wanted her body, she likely could have turned him down. He’d zeroed in on the one thing guaranteed to make her say yes. He wanted the very things she valued most in herself, so she stood on shaky legs and crossed the distance between them. She watched as he exhaled, as if he’d been afraid she would refuse him.

  His way. All the way. Did he realize he’d already compromised with her more than once? When things had gone bad, he’d been nothing but tender with her. If he needed to think he was always in control, she could give that to him.

  She trusted him. It was time to trust herself.

  Perching herself on his lap was awkward at first, but the minute his arms settled around her, that all drifted away. This was the magic of him. When he looked at her, she felt like the only woman on earth. When he focused all that energy on her, she felt alive in a way she’d never been before.

  “That’s right, princess. You made the decision, and now you can stop thinking and let me take over.” He set his Scotch down and dropped his hand to her knee, cupping it lightly. Her whole body seemed to soften, warming up the minute he touched her.

  “It’s hard for me. My mind is always racing.” It was why she struggled to sleep at night. Her brain dissected the day, replayed the conversations she’d had and the correspondence she’d read, then drafted to-do lists for the following day.

  “Your mind is always working. Now it’s time to let it rest and let your body take over. You need this as much as I do. Tell me what you like.”

  She sighed with relief. More talking would be good. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see what Connor’s “way” entailed. “I like lots of things. I like a surprising number of pop songs. There are several TV shows I’m obsessed with.”

  The hand on her knee tightened just enough to get her attention. “I’m talking about sex, princess. I want to know what you like about sex.”

  That was a great question and one that made her antsy. “I like kissing. I really like kissing you.”

  “Then you should kiss me.”

  “I thought you were in control.” He was confusing her. She’d never spent so much time building up to something everyone else in the world thought should be spontaneous.

  “I am.” His hand slid up her leg, tantalizingly disappearing under her skirt. “That’s why you’re going to kiss me. It’s why in a little while you’re going to stand up and take your clothes off and offer yourself to me.”

  “What?” That wasn’t how this seduction had played out in her head. He was supposed to take over, and then she wouldn’t have to worry about being sexy enough for him. He would just take what he wanted and she could follow his lead, and then he would hold her and sleep next to her. His version of control really sucked.

  He nuzzled her neck. “Did the poor little princess expect me to tear her clothes off and fall on her? I’m not going to play that way. I want you with me every moment. I don’t want a second where you’re thinking about anything except what we’re doing together. I would bet every single one of your lovers let you get away with that crap. I won’t. You won’t lie there and not participate because you either don’t know what to do or it’s too messy for you. Let me tell you something. By the time I’m done, you’ll like it messy and nasty and hard. Now kiss me or get off my lap and we can watch the late news.”

  His words seemed to have a direct line to some secret feminine place inside her. She knew she should protest, but all she wanted to do was melt in his arms. His hand parked on her thigh, just shy of where she wanted it to go, and it didn’t look like he was moving it until she gave him what he wanted.

  She turned her head up to face him and realized he wasn’t as controlled as he wanted her to believe. He clenched his jaw tight and she reached up, brushing her fingers along the bristles of his five-o’clock shadow. He shaved every morning. She’d caught glimpses of him dragging a razor across the planes of his face, but somehow it seemed right that those whiskers were there. Another layer of texture. He reminded her of a sensual beast, one of the big cats. He could be lazy when he wanted to, but she should never forget that he could eat her up in an instant.

  Her stare caught on his lips. So firm and plump and perfect. She’d become fixated on that mouth and whether she’d see a sexy smile or that arrogant, regal frown she’d come to know so well. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his, feeling the velvet softness of those lips. A little zing of electricity zipped through her every time she touched him.

  While he had been the one to demand that she kiss him, he was perfectly still beneath her. At first it made her self-conscious. He stayed his hand, heating up her thigh. His mouth moved, but only in time to hers. He didn’t leap up and take over. Was she doing it right? She wasn’t sure how good a kisser she was since she’d never really taken the time to just lie around on her lover’s lap and explore him.

  That was the gift he was offering her. He was allowing her to explore, exactly as he’d promised. She hadn’t quite believed him. And she hadn’t realized just how much she wanted it.

  Lara raised her hands and cupped his face, enjoying the lines of his jaw and cheeks. She didn’t need to balance. He wouldn’t let her fall. He would ground her so she could touch him as she liked. Emboldened by that revelation, she did what came naturally. She dragged her tongue across his lower lip. He rewarded her with a low growl that seemed to come from his chest.

  She gave him one last kiss before staring into his eyes. “You’re right. I’ve always just done what my partner wanted because I didn’t want much more out of it than the cuddling and closeness that comes afterward. I didn’t like kissing much before you. It was messy and awkward, but when I kiss you I don’t feel any of that. But I don’t know what to do when it comes to sex. I’ve had exactly two lovers and not a single one in the last two years.”

  His hand eased up, his fingers lightly playing at the edges of her panties. “Now we’re getting somewhere. And you’re not awkward when you kiss. You just have to stop thinking and let your instincts take over. If it helps, I haven’t slept with anyone in almost eighteen months.”

  That was surprising. “Why? I mean, I just didn’t think a man like you would go that long between lovers.”

  “Such a sweet thing. I didn’t have lovers, princess. I had one-night stands and casual hookups. Those get boring after a while. That’s why this is going to be different for both of us. I’m not going to let you treat sex like something you have to do to keep a boyfriend. I want you to crave it, to want me so much you can’t think about going a day without my cock inside you. Now spread your legs for me.”

  Before she could think about it, her knees parted as though they obeyed Connor and nothing so insignificant as her brain. His voice had deepened, taking on an almost musical tone that had her feeling drugged. He was using this time as part of foreplay. Her experiences before had been rushed and awkward. She and Tom had found a certain rhythm after a while, but it had never been this lush, lavish dance between them. And she would never have thought to spread her legs before the actual act was about to occur.

  “I don’t like these, Lara.” His fingers slid over her undies, a light caress that still had her straining to get enough air into her lungs.

  “I don’t like them very much right now, either.”

  His lips brushed across her cheek. “Take them off for me. Take everything off for me. Show me what you have to offer.”

  She stiffened in his arms, all her insecurities crashing back in. Naturally he couldn’t take her to the bedroom, turn out all the lights, and then make love under three layers of covers. No. He wanted her to get naked in the middle of her living room. It wasn’t like she was a prude. She walked around in her underwear all the time when she was alone. But she didn’t care that her boobs sagged a little and her hips were way too round.

  “Did you not hear me? Or have you decided to be a coward?” he asked in low tones. “I can’t believe that of you because if there’s one thing I’ve figured out, it’s that Lara Armstrong isn’t afraid of anything. She’s bold and brave, and it’s past time that she took all that daring she has to stand up for everyone else and use it for herself. Show me what you’re offering me.”

  She suddenly realized that he wasn’t just talking about body parts. He wasn’t merely asking to see her breasts or her legs. He wanted her to be brave enough to say “This is who I am and I would like to share that with you.”

  Every sexual experience she’d had up to this point had been hollow. It was easy to see that now. They had been a means to an end she hadn’t even acknowledged to herself. She’d wanted love and offered her body because she thought that was the only way to get it. It was as unfeminist a trait as she could think of. She thought of herself as a strong woman. She used her voice for politics and to argue for the underdog.

  Why should it be different when it came to sex? Why should she accept less than her due?