“So clinical,” he tsked. “You won’t get what you want until you ask for it properly.”

  “Please give me oral sex.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “Please put your mouth there. On me. On my pussy.” She was awfully cute when she fumbled. And she definitely sounded a bit breathless. “Yes, I would like you to put your mouth on my pussy and then move your tongue all around. Kiki talks about how nice it feels but only when she’s had too much to drink.”

  “The correct term is eating pussy. That’s what I’m going to do to you. Spread your labia for me. Tell me why Tom wouldn’t want to taste this sweet pussy.” He could smell her arousal, musky and pure.

  “He said it wasn’t natural.”

  “The hell it isn’t.” Connor leaned forward, gently grasping her wrist and bringing her fingers to his lips. With her eyes on him, he sucked her cream-coated fingers into his mouth and licked off every last bit of her essence. “He’s a fucking idiot. You taste so damn good, and I’ll show you just how nice it feels to have the big bad wolf make a meal of you.”

  He leaned forward and ran his tongue right over her clit. She gasped and nearly came off the bed.

  Connor stopped. “Be still or I’ll tie you down and bring you to the edge over and over again. Then I’ll give you nothing.”

  She went completely still. “That sounds horrible. But the other part felt even better than Kiki said.”

  “And no more mentioning Kiki or anyone else now. You and me and no one else in the entire world. Am I clear?”

  “Yes.” Her body was still, but he could feel her effort in her fine trembling.

  “Who’s going to fuck you?” He liked hearing his name on her lips.

  “Connor. My Connor.”

  That did more for him than he liked to admit. “Only me.”

  He’d never given a crap about where a lover was going after he’d finished with her. During college, he and Dax had shared women on many a night. There were women at Yale who had made a game out of bagging all six of them. Connor had just shrugged and taken his turn.

  The thought of anyone else touching Lara Armstrong made him crazy. Something primal inside him had taken one look at her and decided she belonged to him—and his higher-functioning brain could go to hell.

  He lowered his head to her pussy and devoured her. He licked and sucked and gave her a light scrape of his teeth. All the while she whimpered and cried out, each moan going straight to his dick. He reveled in every bit of her as he pulled back the hood of her clit. That pearl was engorged and desperate, ready to go off at the slightest sensation.

  “Please. Please, Connor.”

  “Please what, princess? Do you remember what I said to you the first day we met? I told you it might make you feel safer if I didn’t make love to you until you begged me. So what do you want me to do? I think I’ll forgo you getting on your knees and I’ll simply accept a very polite request.”

  “Please make love to me, Connor.”

  “Now go a little dirtier for me.”

  “Please, please fuck me.”

  “With pleasure, princess.” He sucked her clit between his teeth and was rewarded with a scream that just might have the police storming the condo. She cried out his name as he drew out her pleasure. Her legs shook and spasmed, and by the time he lifted his head, her whole body was flushed and trembling.

  She lay there, her eyes half closed, her body utterly spent. She wasn’t thinking about anything now. That was clear. He could do anything he wanted to her. She was his, body and soul, in that moment, and all he’d had to do was give her a few orgasms. This could work. They could work. He could keep and protect her. She never had to know the whole truth.

  In fact, maybe she was his reward for all the bad shit that had come before and all the darkness he still had yet to endure.

  He fished a foil packet out of his jeans. The minute he’d walked into the condo, he’d known this would happen. He’d prepared. She hadn’t seen him do it, but he’d already moved a box of condoms into her bedside table. He’d saved one because he hadn’t been sure where he would fuck her first. By the time he was done, he would use every surface and room in this place. There wouldn’t be a single inch of this space that wouldn’t remind her of what it felt like to have him inside her.

  He rolled the condom on his rock-hard cock.

  “Connor?” She lifted her head to look at him.

  Shit. He couldn’t lose her now. “Yes?”

  She wore the sweetest grin on her face, as if she’d been drugged from all the pleasure. “I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t have an orgasm, but I had two. I’m fully functional.”

  Had Tom told her she wasn’t? That’s right, the prick had called her frigid because he was too fucking clueless or selfish to please a woman. Connor wrapped his fingers around her ankles and positioned her right where he wanted her. He could see her whole gorgeous body laid out, her breasts, her silky skin, that pussy so close to his cock. She gripped her comforter tightly, looking breathless.

  God, had he really been looking for weapons in her hands? He’d thought he was over that shit.

  Lara wasn’t capable of hurting a fly, much less her lover, and he intended to keep it that way. She was going to live in a world where shit like that didn’t happen.

  “Wrap your legs around me.” When she did, he pushed the head of his dick just inside her. Already the heat and pressure were killing him. So fucking soft. Everything about her was silky and welcoming, including the quickness with which she heeded his needy commands.

  With her eyes wide and focused on him, Lara reached up to touch him. He grabbed her hands and held them down. He couldn’t have her arms around him. Not yet. Maybe in a couple of years, but for now he needed this. She was utterly trapped beneath him while he assumed total control.

  His eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head as he pressed forward. She was so wet. If he hadn’t gotten her hot first, he doubted he could have worked his way inside her easily, if at all. Her pussy was the tightest thing he’d ever felt. Those endlessly blue eyes of hers stared up at him, widening with each inch he took.

  But he needed to be deeper. “Relax. You can take me. You can take all of me.”

  She sucked in a deep, ragged breath and exhaled, her body melting into the mattress as she tilted her pelvis up so he slipped completely inside her. He groaned long and low.

  Very slowly, he began to drag himself back out, fighting the urge to pound into her. He wanted her to love this, to need him as often as possible. He didn’t have months to brand himself on her before his cover story could unravel. He had days, a week or two at most, and he needed her bound to him. So he fought his desperate desire and stroked into her, long and slow, moving his hips in a rhythm, finding that spot inside her.

  “Oh god.” Her legs gripped him like a vise as she panted and whimpered.

  He locked in place and let himself go. Over and over he fucked her deep, providing friction to those nerve endings until her whole body flushed and she cried out his name. Her head thrashed against the comforter, the only movement he allowed her. Other than that, he controlled her body, forcing her to take each stroke of his cock, every hard thrust.

  She clenched around him and he felt her body seize as she came with abandon. Her ecstasy sent him hurtling toward the edge. He couldn’t hold back for more than another second or two.

  Connor pounded deep into her softness, lost to the primal rhythm of mating. He hated the fucking condom. He wanted to mark her, to know his seed might take root. Hell, in that moment he wanted to get her pregnant. She couldn’t leave him if she was carrying his child, right? Then they would also have a connection she couldn’t deny, no matter how angry she got if she learned the truth.

  His spine tingled and his brain shut down. Pure electric pleasure sparked through his system. Orgasm hit him with the force of a crashing wave. He pumped into her like a piston, using hard, rhythmic strokes to give her everything he had.

  God, he was going to marry her.

  It took long moments before his breathing and heartbeat normalized. Pleasure lingered in his veins like a sweetly heavy drug. Just when Connor was about to collapse, he propped himself above her, struggling to catch his breath and bring his heartbeat back under control.

  What the hell was he thinking? Marriage? Babies? She had his head reeling. This was not like him. He eased back and rose to his feet, taking a long breath. His whole body was still pulsing with pleasure and he wanted to press himself against her and share the buzz, but he needed a minute alone.

  “I’ll be right back.” He turned, but not before he saw the startled hurt in her eyes.

  She’d expected him to fall into her arms and give her “after” time, complete with cuddling and praise, no doubt. Instead, he picked up his clothes and stumbled into the bathroom, closing the door between them. He disposed of the condom he’d thought about not wearing.

  Deep breath, Sparks. What the hell just happened? He stared at himself in the mirror. He’d lost control in the end. He’d let go in a way he never did.

  He’d utterly forgotten that he had a job to do.

  After turning on the faucet to cold, he reached into his jeans and pulled out his phone, texting Roman. He’d left the door unlocked. It was a calculated risk, but his gun was on the nightstand. As soon as Roman had what he needed, Connor would lock them in again.

  He was letting the wolves into the princess’s castle. He was going to distract her by fucking her all over again.

  Why did he already feel a twinge of guilt for doing what he needed to?

  Gritting his teeth, he pounded his fists against the sink, and he was lucky he didn’t crack the marble.

  Lara knocked softly on the door. “Connor? Are you all right? Did I do something wrong?”

  He couldn’t continue dithering about her like some inexperienced idiot. He’d already made his choice and contacted Roman. There was no calling him off now. And there was no going back with Lara. He’d taken her. He could tell himself he would walk away at the end, but he made it a practice never to deceive himself. He would have her again and again and again. He would never fucking be satisfied.

  So he needed to suck it up and start being the man he was. Stop trying to be worthy of her. He never would be, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take her, keep her close, and do his best. Sure, he’d have to lie to her. He’d have to manipulate her. He could manage that. After all, he’d made a profession out of dealing in misdirection and falsehoods. In return, he’d protect and sate her. It wasn’t much but all he had to offer. He’d never had anything to call his own, and he wanted Lara to be his. In the end, he knew he might cost her everything, but he couldn’t leave her alone.

  Shame that he couldn’t be better for her slithered through him but he tamped the useless shit down.

  And now he was being a coward because he’d closed a door between them. He would never allow her to do that to him. It was time to stop fucking around and be her man.

  He opened the door and had her in his arms before he could second-guess himself again. He would do what he had to do for the operation, but he’d fight to the death to keep her. She’d given him everything she had and he wouldn’t let her take it back. But he had to give a little, too. He had to get over his fucking PTSD.

  Connor pulled her close and felt her arms go around him. “You didn’t do anything wrong, princess. You were perfect.” He lifted her hand to touch his newest scar. “The reason I haven’t had sex in almost two years was the last woman I went to bed with gave me this.”

  She gasped and all that doubt immediately became concern as she placed her hand right over the puckered gash as though she could somehow heal him. “Was it a knife wound?”

  He nodded. “She was a little crazy. So I got overwhelmed. Forgive me.”

  She was on her toes, enthusiastically kissing him. “Of course. I was worried. I . . . care about you. I didn’t want this to be the only time. I didn’t want this to be our only night.”

  Not if he had any say in it. “I care about you, too. We’ve started something tonight. I told you I didn’t want some casual thing. We’re together now, and I intend for us to stay that way.”

  She laid her head against his chest. “Do you want to go back to bed?”

  He picked her up. “The answer to that question will always be yes.”

  He laid her out and proceeded to show her how much he wanted her.

  * * *

  It was two in the morning when he heard it. Such a little sound, but then he’d been waiting for the snick of a door closing as quietly as possible.

  Roman was here.

  Lara turned over in her sleep, her hair in a tumble across the pillow. He’d been right. When her tresses were loose, they went everywhere. They were like wild vines creeping softly across his body, drawing him in. All he wanted to do was curl around her and go back to sleep, pretend there wasn’t a team outside trying to steal her secrets.

  Yes, she still had them and he couldn’t allow her to keep any. He couldn’t protect her if he didn’t know what she concealed. No matter what happened, he had to make sure she was all right, and that meant finding out absolutely everything he could about her.

  He could justify it all day, but it didn’t stop the guilt in his gut and he resented the hell out of it. This was his job. He’d never before felt guilty for protecting his president.

  He rolled out of bed as quietly as he could and paused to make sure she wasn’t moving. The moonlight washed over her, and his heart flipped a little. God, he was in deeper than he’d imagined. He needed some distance. He wasn’t letting her go, but he had to find a way to not need her so much. Surely, he could devise a strategy to keep his soul from threatening to spill out every time he had sex with her.

  It would get easier. Everything between them was new right now and she was different from any woman he’d ever met. The newness would wear off and he would be able to enjoy her the way he should. He would do his job and keep his secrets and she would be his reward.

  He forced himself to look away and grab his gun off the nightstand, just in case. After all, a killer sought her. In fact, he kind of hoped the killer was, even now, sneaking through her door, rather than Roman. Connor suspected he would feel loads better after killing Lara’s stalking scumbag.

  As silently as he could, he opened the door and walked down the hallway. Black figures moved through her apartment. Connor slipped down the hall, staying in the shadows. He counted four of them. All big guys. No crazy stalkers. He was out of luck on the killing front. Roman seemed to hire security for their bulk as though he wanted to make sure every guard could physically cover Zack in the event of an assassination attempt.

  Of course Roman had been onstage with Joy Hayes when she’d died from a fumbled attempt to kill Zack. Maybe Connor could understand, but then he could also tell Roman that bulk didn’t always win. Connor managed to sneak past three of the guards and get right behind Roman, who was hovering over Lara’s computer. He placed the muzzle of his gun squarely against Roman’s head.

  “Please tell me that’s you, Con. Because otherwise I might ruin a perfectly good pair of pants for nothing.”

  Connor grinned in the darkness. It was good to know he could still scare the shit out of someone. He pulled away. “Safety’s on. But you need new guys. I got past all of them.”

  Roman turned, shaking his head. “I keep asking you to come and take the whole thing over. We would all feel better if you worked at the White House. Is your girl out? Did you roofie her?”

  “No.” At least he wouldn’t have that on his conscience. “I couldn’t find an organic, cruelty-free brand.”

  “Was that a joke? What has she done to you, man?”

  The last thing he wanted to do was talk about his relationship. He didn’t really want to think about the fact that she trusted him and he was betraying her. “What have you found?”

  “I downloaded her system. I’ll go over it at my leisure. The boys out there are tapping her landline and duping her cell. We’ve also now got a feed into this building so we’ll be able to see who comes and goes. And thanks for the heads-up about the senator firing his guards today. I was able to get some of my men on his detail. That will come in handy. They can search the senator’s place when he’s asleep. The more dirt I have on the old guy, the more leverage. Oppo research has never been more fun. You said she’s close to her dad, right?”

  Connor didn’t like the turn of this conversation. He really didn’t appreciate Roman inserting his own guards into the senator’s house and life so they could spy on him for another politician. “Why do you care? And Armstrong has almost always supported Zack. How is he oppo?”

  The smile faded from Roman’s face. “I care about this mission, Connor. I expect that you do, too. Armstrong might be in the party, but he knows what his daughter does and he doesn’t shut her down, so I don’t trust him. Is there something I need to know? Dax seems to think you’ve got a serious hard-on for this girl. Have you forgotten what she does for a living?”

  “I know what she does and why she does it. I’m committed to figuring out where Natalia Kuilikov is, but I don’t see what that has to do with Senator Armstrong.” He kind of liked Lara’s dad. Sure he’d thought of digging up dirt on the man, but he didn’t like the idea of Roman being in control of it.

  Roman turned back. “I’ll handle the political portion of this clusterfuck. By the way, you’re welcome. I got you reinstated with the Agency starting in six weeks. You’ll find yourself in the unique position of being able to choose your assignment. You can have any field job you want or you can run a team of your own.”

  Where was the relief? He’d expected to feel some triumph in putting one over on his director, who had thought he could use the situation in Manhattan to get rid of Agent Sparks. The old man didn’t realize just how close he was to Zack. So why didn’t Connor want to fist pump and start figuring out what his next move should be? He could get back into the Middle East or North Korea. He could go solo or form his own team. He would likely be given enormous leeway to do what needed to be done.