“Of course I am. And I’m also right about the hotel,” Gus insisted.

  “What about the motel?” Dax couldn’t think of what she was talking about.

  “No. Not motel. That’s the whole point.” His sister was like a dog with a bone, but she seemed to be thinking without all the anger and disillusionment he had been.

  “You think these photos were taken somewhere else?”

  Dax turned because the voice had come from behind him. Holland stepped in, looking down at the photos.

  “Holland? Hey, girl. You understand that you have to fucking answer my fucking calls now or I swear to god I’ll send you a strip-o-gram an hour until you do,” Gus vowed.

  Roman cleared his throat over the speaker. “She really will do that. I thought she was kidding. Imagine having to explain to White House security why ten strippers were requesting access to my office.”

  Holland sniffled a little, and he could have sworn tears had welled in her eyes. “Hey, Gus.” She turned her attention right back to the task at hand. “What were you saying about the motel?” She touched one of the photos. “Oh, I see what you mean. Look at the clock. That’s not a cheap piece of crap. That’s a docking station.”

  “Yes, it is,” Gus replied.

  “Hell, I missed that,” Roman said, disgust in his voice. “I had one of those a few years back. They get outdated pretty quickly, but for the time it wasn’t cheap. I think one of the big luxury chains used to have those in every room.”

  “The same one that uses Italian-made sheets.” Gus’s tone rang with triumph. “Look at the corner of the photo. There’s a tag hanging off. It’s hard to see but if you look through a magnifying glass that’s the logo of a very expensive Italian sheet maker. The sheets themselves are made of expensive percale. Hence the pretty sheen.”

  Holland whistled. “She’s right. I splurged on some myself. They’re pricey. A seedy motel would never have the budget for these. The pictures must have been taken elsewhere.”

  Dax thought back. He’d gone over his father’s every move a thousand times. “He’d been in London the week before.”

  “You’re right,” Gus agreed. “He told me he’d been feeling really run-down while he was there, like he’d been on the verge of getting the flu or something. But what he’d been was drugged, and that’s when all of this went down. He’d been at a conference. Let’s check into that, see if we can find out anything.”

  “No, Gus. There’s no point.” He hated to have to disillusion her. “I’ve already checked into the timeline.”

  “There was no conference,” Holland said.

  Dax speared Holland with a surprised glance.

  She shrugged. “I made a timeline, too. I have notes on everywhere your father went for the six weeks preceding his death.”

  “No conference?” Gus asked. “You think he was meeting one of his mistresses? If so, I can try to find out. I don’t recall him having one in Europe, at least not one that Mom knew about. But it’s possible.”

  “Or he was there for another reason entirely and that’s what got him killed,” Dax said with finality. The truth seemed right at his fingertips. That trip to England must play into this.

  Holland nodded his way, giving him support. “I know he stayed at a Gately Resort Hotel. They use the same sheets and bedding worldwide. Only the colors change. Roman, I’m going to bet you have some killer MI5 contacts.”

  “I’ll get on it,” he replied. MI5 was England’s version of the FBI. “It’s been years, though. I don’t know what they’ll have. CCTV feeds are only kept for so long.”

  “Try anything.” This was the first real lead they’d had in so long, and Dax meant to follow it as far as he could. “We’ll pull all his credit card records and try to figure out where he went while he was there. You two let me know what you discover.”

  “Will do,” Gus said. “And you should really work on that other project we discussed.”

  “Five hundred bucks says Dax is shit out of luck,” Roman offered.

  Great words of encouragement from one of his best friends. Good to know he had support.

  “Oh, I will take all of your money, Calder,” Gus shot back. “Bye, Holland. Have a good time with Dax. I’m coming to see you in a few weeks. Plan something fun.”

  The line went dead.

  He turned and Holland was still looking at that phone wistfully, as if she hadn’t wanted the call to end.

  She’d cut herself off from everyone to save him. He had to find a way to give it back to her. Maybe Gus was right. Maybe charm would work. And oral sex. He was willing to give it one hell of a shot.

  * * *

  Holland stared at the screen, her mind wandering.

  “Did you find anything?”

  She shook her head as Dax brought her out of her thoughts. She’d been remembering those days three years earlier when she and Dax had finally come together and everything seemed possible. Today he’d lingered in her space. She sat at her laptop, running through reports and looking at his father’s credit card receipts from the London trip. Dax hovered right behind her, crowding her. She could smell the soap he’d used earlier, feel the heat of his body. Every now and then he brushed against her, skin to skin, and she remembered exactly how long it had been since she’d felt real lust.

  Hours had passed, and now the day was sinking into night again. Dax was still here and he showed not a single sign of leaving.

  “I have receipts for fuel,” Holland replied. “I found a rental car agreement, too. He bought gas twice. My question is why would he need a car in London? It’s so much easier to use public transit. Even getting to and from other major cities in England is easier to do on trains. So I think he was heading somewhere off the beaten path.”

  Dax nodded. “Where did he purchase the fuel?”

  She winced. “Just outside of London. It looks like he filled up the tank both times at a petrol station on the M25, the highway that runs around London. From there he could have gone anywhere, though I suspect he was heading north from the placement of the station.”

  She wished she had better news. Hell, she wished she could simply solve the whole thing so he could go on his merry way and not sit across the table, tempting her with what could no longer be.

  He’d behaved perfectly all day. He’d even brought takeout back for lunch so they didn’t have to pause long. He’d brought exactly what she’d asked for. A spinach salad. The bastard had also brought a muffuletta sandwich and a dozen macaroons from the bakery down the street. And pralines. He’d claimed they were a late afternoon snack. He’d even made her a cup of tea to go with it.

  Damn man. Somehow her appetite had come roaring back, too.

  She was already wondering if she could sneak in a glass of that stupidly excellent wine with whatever dinner Dax cooked up. He’d brought a sack of groceries in earlier with their lunch, claiming she needed a proper meal.

  She’d really been skimping on her calories lately. Somehow she’d let Chad the Ass convince her she was carrying a bit too much weight. It had been a subtle thing, really. He’d mentioned his own diet and then somehow she’d started falling in line.

  The realization was maddening because she wasn’t the sort to change for a man. And she was only eating the stupid pralines now because they tasted good.

  Dax sighed. “That led us nowhere. And he didn’t use his credit card for anything but the gas and hotel.”

  “He withdrew a thousand pounds sterling at Heathrow, so he probably used cash for everything else.”

  “Damn it. What was he doing over there?” Dax sounded as frustrated as she felt.

  Her cell phone rang. Holland looked down, saw who it was, and sent his ass straight to voice mail.

  Dax speared her with a glance. “Should I have a talk with your erstwhile suitor?”

  “He’ll eventually go away.” She was fairly certain of that. It was her uncle who wouldn’t leave her in peace. He’d left a single stern message asking her to call him because he’d heard that she was in serious trouble.

  She was in serious trouble because she was already softening toward Dax. At one point she’d actually found herself nearly touching him like old times. She’d stopped short, before she’d lost her head in all his warmth and muscled goodness.

  “How did you get involved with him?”

  “How did you end up married to a woman you never even dated?” She sounded like such a freaking shrew. The words just popped out, bubbling up and exploding like a nasty volcano of jealousy.

  He sank into the seat beside her. “I was stupid and foolish and so angry I couldn’t see straight, so I got drunk as shit. I make lousy decisions when I’m drunk as shit, sweetheart.”

  She stood up. “I’m not talking about this.”

  “We have to.”

  They did not. She shook her head and strode away, escaping onto the balcony for some fresh air. Her body felt tight, every muscle as taut as a bowstring. How would she survive being locked in with him for days? Weeks?

  Fresh air didn’t help. The humid air dripped moisture. And being out on the balcony only reminded her of the way he’d once touched her out here. In fact, she couldn’t forget what it felt like to have his hands on her. Dax was a furnace in bed. He gave off so much heat she didn’t need a blanket, only his body wrapped around hers. She didn’t remember a time she’d felt so safe. So loved.

  She rubbed at a spot just above her chest. It felt tight. The ache just wouldn’t go away.

  “Holland, we can’t ignore it forever.”

  Naturally, he wouldn’t give her a second alone. “Watch me.”

  “You were always stubborn.”

  “Tell me something, Dax. Would you have come back if you hadn’t found that lead on your father’s case?” She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him. He would never have come back. He wouldn’t have spoken to her again.

  He moved beside her, leaning against the wrought-iron balcony. “Eventually. Maybe not so soon, but yeah. I would have come back.”

  “Liar. You never would have forgiven me.”

  “I was angry, I’ll admit. But even when I was pissed as hell at you, I still knew that you were the center of my world. You have been since the day I met you. You were my dream girl back then. When I thought you betrayed me, you became my nightmare. But I was focused on you. Loving you, hating you, it didn’t change the fact that you were and always will be everything to me.”

  Holland closed her eyes. Sweet words . . . but she wasn’t sure she believed them. “It doesn’t matter. I moved on. I knew when I let you go that it was the end of any relationship we had.”

  “Did you?” He turned to her, looming over her in the late afternoon light. “Really?”

  She forced herself to face him. “Yes, Dax. I knew it the minute I got that call.”

  “So why did you get involved with a boy you knew you could never love or marry if you had truly moved on from me?”

  She’d asked herself that question a lot, but she wasn’t about to admit that to him. “I liked Chad. We move in the same world.”

  “Law enforcement.” Dax scoffed. “That means nothing. If that pretty boy cares more about his arrest record than his hair gel, I’ll eat my khakis for dinner. I know his type. We have them in the Navy. They want to be officers for the privilege it affords them. They view it like a corporate job and start climbing the ladder.”

  “And you don’t, Captain?”

  “I work my ass off for my country and my men. I’m not stupid. I’m not going to move much above where I am now. I might get a better ship because I’m damn good at my job, but after the scandal with my father my name is crap.”

  Thereby proving her point. “Hence we’re working to clear your name so you can achieve your destiny, Admiral Spencer. I’ve always known that’s where you were headed.”

  “You know so much about me, huh? Did you know I was ready to leave the Navy that day?”

  “Bullshit. I know you said that, but I doubt you really would have done it.” He couldn’t have been serious.

  He simply nodded. “I’d made the decision that having a family with you was more important than my career. I’d decided to call Zack and ask for a job since you could easily transfer to D.C. I didn’t want to end up like our parents. We need to be together every day, every night.”

  Had he really decided that? Or was this little speech something he’d dreamed up to appeal to the romantic in her so he could insinuate himself back into her life? She couldn’t go down this road with him again. The last time had hurt too much.

  She’d been right to fear the power he could wield over her. Growing up, she’d feared being like her lonely, heartsick mother who had waited her entire adult life for a man. After Dax had left New Orleans, Holland had become that woman. He alone could twist her inside and out.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore,” she insisted.

  “Yes, it does. I want you to tell me what you really saw in Chad Michaels.” He gritted the words out between his teeth as he moved in, invading her space. “Why did you date him?”

  “I was attracted to him.”

  “That’s a lie.” He moved in, forcing her to take a step back. “I know the kind of guy you’re attracted to, and it’s not a metrosexual boy posing as a man. Try again.”

  She didn’t want to play this game with him and yet she couldn’t force herself to move away. If she wasn’t careful, something would give way between them. Holland felt helpless to stop it. Her rational side seemed to have shut down. Her softer side was more than willing to play the antelope to Dax’s prowling lion. “I was lonely.”

  He shook his head as he moved in again. “You’ve never minded that before.”

  He was going to make her admit it. Out loud. She suspected this was Dax’s version of therapy. Chad would have hauled her into an expensive shrink’s office where she would have discussed her feelings for fifty minutes at a time. Dax’s therapy would involve something more physical.

  Somehow, she thought Dax’s methodology would be way more helpful.

  Maybe he was right. Maybe they needed to have it out. Maybe they needed to be honest with each other once and for all.

  “I dated him because I didn’t give a shit, Dax.” She retreated again until her back hit the wall and she had nowhere else to escape.

  He didn’t stop coming for her. He moved in until mere inches sat between them. His chest almost brushed her breasts. When they did, would he be able to feel how hard her nipples were? When his hips locked against hers, would he feel her heat and know she was wet and ready for him simply because he was close?

  She knew she should, but she couldn’t force herself to push him away anymore.

  He was wrong. She had been lonely. Chad had taught her that no one could fill the void but Dax.

  “Finally, we’re getting somewhere.” He lifted his hand, fingers brushing back her hair. “You knew you couldn’t love him. Tell me how you knew.”

  She looked into his eyes, nearly getting lost in the depths. She’d been cold for so long. But not today. Not right now.

  Between dealing with Chad, being so close to Dax, and talking to Gus for the first time in years, she teetered on an emotional edge. Just a little shove would send her over. Then she could let go of the terrible past and dismal future. She could forget sorrow and heartbreak and what might have been for a few hours in Dax’s embrace. She could sink into him. Of course it wasn’t forever. She knew how this would end, but maybe if she went into it with her eyes open this time, maybe she could preserve a piece of her heart.

  “You know why.”

  He lowered his head down, their foreheads touching. “I need to hear it.”

  “You’re a bastard.” She wanted him to kiss her so she didn’t have to admit it. If he took her lips with his, pressed their bodies together, she could forget everything except how good it felt to be with him.

  “Yes, I am. But that doesn’t change anything. I need to hear the words from you.”

  She shouldn’t give a damn about his needs, but she wasn’t sure she could go another second without his kiss. Her desperation underscored all the reasons she should run as fast as she could. She simply couldn’t deny him. “I knew I couldn’t love him because he wasn’t you.”

  Relief and triumph consumed his expression. He cupped her face as if she was something infinitely precious and breakable. “That’s how I feel, too. For me, it’s always been you. It always will be you.”

  He leaned in, his mouth descending on hers. For the first time in years her body sprang to life. She couldn’t wait to wrap her arms around his lean waist and tug the T-shirt from his jeans. Not to get it off his body. That could wait, but she needed to feel his skin under her palms, warm and alive.

  She’d dreamed of him dead so often. After those nightmares, she’d closed her eyes, hating the fact that he was still miles from her, despising the fact that she couldn’t touch him and assure herself that he was still somewhere out there. Their breakup had been like a death, killing something deep in her soul that she’d thought gone forever. Touching him now felt like a reawakening. Holland knew from experience that the love she gave to him could be filled with such beauty and pleasure. It could also cause immeasurable pain.

  She shoved the thought aside. She would have time to decide her future later. For now, all she wanted was to revel in how right it felt to be pressed against him, open to his touch.

  He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding along her lower lip and begging for entry. She parted her lips for him. Yes, the case would eventually end and she would be alone again. But for a few weeks, she could be his lover, gorge herself on the pleasure he could give her.

  She let her hands slide along the strong muscles of his back, and he groaned against her mouth. He pressed deeper, letting her feel every bit of his passion. He’d never held back or pretended with her. He’d always let her know how much power she had over his body.

  “God, I’ve missed you, sweetheart. I’ve missed everything about you. I want to touch you everywhere, remind myself of just how beautiful you are.” He whispered the words across her skin. “I want to taste you again. You can’t possibly taste as good as I remember.”