“What is it, Violet?”

  None of us smile.

  I run my fingers over her face, wiping her smudged mascara.

  “I missed you, and I missed him,” she says softly. “I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t plan to, but I thought it made sense. It wasn’t because I loved him less or you, but I just didn’t see myself there, alone, waiting for both of you. It’s hard to wait for one man let alone two.”

  I slowly stroke her face.

  “There was no reason for me to be there, Violet. You’re his woman. No matter what we’ve shared, you’ll always be his.”

  “Am I?” she asks, her voice broken with tears. “I thought so too, but it didn’t feel that way. I missed you as much as I missed him, and I wanted you home as much as I wanted him. But see, this is not something I could’ve told you. You two went out there to do the things that meant something to you, besides me, so I needed to readjust my path. I didn’t realize that while I was there, but once I came back, I had an epiphany.”

  I breathe out a sad chuckle.

  “Do you think I felt better? Or him? We both felt the same way. None of us were happy. No matter where we were and how many people we had around us. You didn’t even let him talk you out of it. Why?”

  Her eyes get misty with more tears.

  “I knew he’d change my mind. There was no doubt in my mind that he could pull me back, and I didn’t want to resent him for doing that.”

  “Listen, I’m not telling you to come back. You’ve done it so many times, and you always leave. He believed in you, and you disappointed him. I told him I'd get you back, but this time it will be different. You can stay here if you want. Do your work. Go fuck Elan, if that’s what you want...”

  “I didn’t fuck Elan.”

  I take her face in my hands.

  “I really don’t care. You’re not one hundred percent ours. You never were. Something always pulls you back, makes you doubt. And when you do that you put a hole in his heart, and when his heart hurts he doesn’t let me love him, the same way you used to. That’s why I’m telling you this. If you want him, find a way back to his heart. Find your own answers, Violet, and then mess with his life. All right?”

  She looks down.

  “What is it now?”

  Her eyes come back to me filled with sorrow.

  “When do you go back?”

  I shrug.

  “I don’t know. I’ll probably be back in London for Christmas. He’ll get some time off. Maybe we can go back to Spain. See, how he feels about it. He’s not crazy about going back right now, and I don’t blame him.”

  She looks down again.

  “So what’s the story with that Elan guy?” I ask as I grab a towel and run it over her body and mine.

  “He’s a potential buyer like you,” she says, raising her eyes.

  “Is he now? Does he get to know Rapt's editors intimately like me?” I ask, smiling, and wink at her teasingly.

  A smile lights up her face, pushing away the clouds.

  “Braxton!”

  “Don’t fucking Braxton me!” I say jokingly, and I sweep her off her feet. “You and I have a lot of catching up to do,” I say, as I kick the bedroom door open and lay her on my bed.

  She props herself on her elbows, her gaze seizing my body.

  “You know I don’t have anything to wear when I leave tomorrow.”

  “Don’t worry. We’ll have people deliver something for you. Who said you’re gonna leave tomorrow, anyway?”

  VIOLET, New York

  The air is warm and smells like coffee and vanilla. I crack an eye open and take in the breakfast tray on the nightstand. Coffee, croissants, fruit and sparkling water. His voice rings out in the other room.

  I grab a couple of strawberries, crush them in my mouth and climb out of bed. Wrapping a sheet around me, I walk into the other room.

  He stands in front of the window, his fingers woven in his hair, his muscles pushing against his smooth skin, black lounge pants hanging low on his hips.

  A foggy day peeks at him from behind the window.

  “No...” he says, “I don’t know yet. I’ll call you when I know for sure... Okay?”

  He ends the call and turns to me.

  “Look who’s finally awake,” he says.

  “Who was that?” I ask.

  “Jonas. He wants to know if my girlfriend and I can meet with him and Liv tonight for dinner.”

  Amused, he studies the change of expression on my face.

  “The woman from last night was your girlfriend?” I blurt out, my voice skidding on a different octave than normal.

  He stays quiet.

  “You’re fucking with me,” I say.

  “What if she were?”

  “I’d cut your balls off.”

  He starts to laugh.

  “Don’t fuck with me, Braxton,” I say and spin around.

  He lunges at me and pulls me to him.

  “What difference would it make to you if she were?” he asks, his eyes searching mine.

  “How can you ask me that?”

  “Please answer the question,” he says, serious.

  He lowers himself on the windowsill and pulls me between his legs.

  “You weren’t alone yourself,” he says.

  “It’s not the same.”

  “How come?”

  “I didn’t have anything to do with that man.”

  “I didn’t have anything to do with her either,” he says, smiling.

  “Are you serious? You think this is a game? I’m not joking.”

  “I’m not joking either,” he says, grinning mischievously, and a growl of frustration lifts off my lips.

  “You’re unbelievable,” I burst out, and he starts to chuckle.

  “So, I’ve been told.”

  “Fucking jerk!”

  I push him away. He locks me in his arms.

  “I said I don’t want to see you with other women,” I bark.

  “I’m sorry, but that only stands when you’re with us, baby, which was not the case.”

  “Okay, fine. You’ve made your point. Is she your girlfriend?” I ask, my throat tight and dry.

  He looks at me for a few moments, examining my frown.

  “I had plenty of opportunities to fuck. That woman and others. Women from school. I didn’t want to, and you know why? I would’ve compared them with you and him and all the time we’ve spent together, and it would’ve made me feel like shit. That’s why I didn’t do it. Unlike you,” he says, and I know he’s pulling my leg, and yet, I can’t suppress my reaction.

  “I didn’t fuck anyone!!” I snap, exasperated.

  He pinches my cheek and winks at me.

  “Good to know,” he says, and I puff, exasperated.

  “You’re such a piece of work.”

  “Hmm... I love it when you flatter me,” he says, smirking.

  “So who was that woman?”

  He purses his lips into a playful smile.

  “Um... hired help.”

  “What do you mean hired help? Did you hire a prostitute?”

  He flicks his finger up.

  “She’s not a prostitute.”

  I wave him off, annoyed.

  “She looked smitten with you.”

  “That was her job or who knows? Maybe she was. Why it’s so hard to believe? You are just jealous,” he says, smiling cockily, and my blood pools in my face.

  “So everything was a set-up.”

  “More or less,” he says quietly, his hand slowly untucking the sheet, letting it fall to my feet.

  He rolls his gaze down on me, his hands cupping my breasts, his lips capturing a nipple. He flicks it with his tongue and a rush of pleasure whirls between my thighs.

  I tip his chin up.

  “What if I didn’t come to you?”

  His blue gaze slithers inside me like a metallic snake.

  “There’s always that possibility, but as I said before, I know who you really are, deep down inside, and I know how to deal with that woman. I didn’t come here for the Violet who analyzes everything to death and pulls back every single time life throws something at her. I came here for the lustful woman, the one that fell in love with Jagger and me. The one who wants to break free,” he says and claims my mouth, giving me a warm, sensual kiss.

  He pushes off the window sill and rises to his feet just as I sink my nails into his shoulders, trembling with need.

  Embraced, we fall against the wall, my hands going down his pants, my lips burning under his.

  “Do me right, baby...” he murmurs, and I twist and slide my fist up and down his cock.

  He starts to groan, so hot.

  “Get on your knees,” he barks, and I sink at his feet. “Now, suck me and keep doing what you’re doing,” he rumbles.

  Coordinating my motions, I stroke his cock and suck his crown, his abs rippling every time he thrusts, his grip tightening on my hair.

  The moment, I sense him edging, I peel my hands off him and push up to my feet.

  “Now, you...” I say, and before I finish, he grabs the back of my neck, turns my back to him, crushes my chest against the wall and enters me in one, long slippery move.

  He rolls his hips, every inch of him ramming into me with full force, making me shudder with pleasure. He pounds me through my orgasm and without slowing down, he pulls my hair into his fist, and hammers me, raw and hard, unstoppable. Waves of pleasure sweep through me as the tension breaks in him.

  13

  VIOLET, New York

  His fingers thread through mine as he walks me across the restaurant, heading to our table. I fashion a different version of the black lace dress I wore a couple of nights ago because he loved it so much. I did too.

  As we walk across the room, I steal a glance in his direction. He sure looks good in his tuxedo, his blue eyes glinting like steel.

  He didn’t tell me it’s a fundraising event, but even so, I knew Jonas, Liv, Doug and Shirley Wellington would be here, and I had no problem with it. Not then, anyway.

  As we near the table, Liv’s eyes come to us, and then Jonas’ and his parents’. Liv barely hides her surprise. Jonas’ face is unreadable. Shirley Wellington gives us a double take, while Doug smiles wolfishly. What is it with these dads?

  I take a seat next to Liv while Braxton talks to his parents. She tilts her head to the side, her hand squeezing mine under the table.

  “Oh my God!” she mouths to me. “Is this his friend? Braxton Wellington?! You didn’t tell me... ”

  I tilt my head slowly.

  Her voice trails off as we both watch him walk around the table before he takes a seat next to me. He leans to me and kisses me softly in front of everybody, and I stop breathing.

  As soon as he starts talking to someone on his left, I turn to Liv.

  She looks at me, dumbstruck.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’ve never been better,” she murmurs.

  And then her voice thaws, delivering the unexpected news.

  “By the way, they are the new owners.”

  My eyebrows shoot up.

  “The new what?!”

  “Owners. Doug Wellington and Jonas cut a deal.”

  “What do you want to drink, baby?” Braxton asks nonchalantly as he shifts his focus back to me.

  “Anything,” I mumble, still digesting the news.

  Is he going to be my boss, now?

  I push my thoughts to the side. I can’t make sense of them anyway, not right now.

  For the next hour or so, business, politics, and pop culture are the topics tackled around the table. Once in a while, I glance at Braxton, a nagging sadness growing inside me.

  As Liv pushes out of her chair and heads to the restroom, I use the opportunity to palm my phone and walk out the room.

  I find a corner in the foyer where it’s dark and quiet, and I make the call with trembling fingers. It’s close to one o’clock in London.

  His voice is hoarse as if he was asleep.

  “Jagger?”

  He stays quiet before his voice travels to me, cold.

  “What do you want, Violet?”

  I take a long breath.

  “I, um... I wanted to hear your voice,” I say, unable to find the words to tell him how sorry I am for pulling away from him.

  A bad feeling crawls up on me.

  “Where are you?”

  “I’m out with, um, Liv and Jonas… and Braxton and his parents. They bought Rapt,” I say, nervous and rushed.

  “Where is he?” he asks dryly.

  “Inside. I’m in the lobby.”

  “Have him call me,” he says and hangs up on me.

  Panic claws at my chest as I stare vacantly at the screen. I’m tempted to call him again, but I know it’s useless.

  My hand goes to my mouth, tears rolling down my fingers.

  “There you are.”

  Braxton’s voice rings out behind me.

  “Violet?”

  He gets a glimpse of my face, and then he sees my phone.

  “What happened?”

  “Nothing,” I say, on the cusp of sobbing.

  “Who did you talk to?”

  “Jagger. He wants you to call him,” I say curtly, and try to slip by him.

  He grabs me by the elbow.

  “Hey. What did you tell him?”

  “He didn’t want to talk to me. Call him. I’ll be inside,” I say, and he lets go of me.

  BRAXTON, New York

  Eyes in tears, she walks away. I pull my phone out and tap his name. He answers on the second ring.

  “Hey,” I say with a quiet voice. “What’s going on?”

  “When are you coming home?” he asks softly, his voice flowing through my blood.

  “Soon. What did you tell Violet?” I ask.

  “Nothing.”

  He pauses.

  “I was wrong about her...” he mutters after a moment, his voice drenched in sadness. “She fooled herself. And she sure fooled me, and I was so fucking stupid to fall for her...”

  “Maybe she didn’t want to.”

  “Maybe. But maybe I no longer give a shit...”

  His sigh rolls in my ears.

  “You’re angry,” I mutter softly.

  “Damn sure I am,” he snaps, venting his frustration. “I fucking hate this, Brax. I can’t fucking do this shit. Not like that. Not second guessing someone, and always being on the look out that one day they wake up and realize they want to go separate ways, without even telling you they no longer love you.”

  “That’s not why she left,” I say.

  His cold laughter falls in my ears.

  “I don’t give a flying fuck what crap she told you or what lies she told herself to make things feel all right.”

  “She didn’t leave because she doesn’t love you, Jagger...”

  “Who the fuck cares? The cold fact is that she did it without even talking to me.”

  “She knew you had the power to stop her. That’s why she pushed you away. She loves you Jagger, and she was longing for both of us. She wanted more of us. She craved the exact same things I did, and that you do, too,” I say almost running out of breath. Moments of silence slips between us. “This is way more than we thought...” I murmur.

  He stays quiet for a few moments before he speaks again.

  Harsh.

  Angry.

  “Did you fuck her?”

  “Don’t do this, Jagger,” I say calmly.

  “I asked you a simple question. Did you or didn’t you fuck her??”

  “Yes, I did.”

  Silence falls between us.

  “Jagger?”

  “I’ll see you when you get home.”

  He hangs up on me, moments later my eyes still glued to the screen. I walk in the restaurant and look around. She’s nowhere in sight.

  I ask Liv if she’s spotted her. She says she’s seen her leaving. I get the address and hail a cab. Twenty minutes later I knock on her door.

  She lets me in and pulls away. Without a word, I step inside. Her suitcase is on the bed.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Leaving.”

  “Where?”

  She raises her eyes to me.

  “Honestly, I don’t even know. I have no place to go,” she mutters, her voice breaking. “I fucked up, Braxton. I can’t go back. He hates me. And I can’t even be angry with him because he’s right to feel that way. I can’t stay here either. It doesn’t feel like home anymore. So, I can’t be with him, and I can’t be with you because that’s not how it works, remember? Every time one of us falls, the other two are doomed. There’s too much story between us, and then, there’s guilt. You said it best. If one goes down, we all drown. And now, he no longer cares. He’s set to destroy the bond between us.”

  I lower myself in a chair. She glances at me.

  “What did he tell you?” she asks.

  “He wants me to go back to London,” I say, and she smiles bitterly.

  “That’s exactly what I thought.”

  “How was he with you?”

  “Cold. Guarded,” she says.

  She runs her fingers over her face, wiping tears.

  “Come to my place, tonight,” I say softly, and she looks at me. “You’re right. He’s angry, and he wants to tear us apart, but we can try to hold it together. We’ll do it differently this time, and maybe it will work out, and it will bring us back together, perhaps stronger than before.”

  VIOLET, New York

  “Remember when you ran away from him because you thought Diana was in love with him?” Braxton asks.

  Arm folded beneath his head, chest bare, and back sunk into a pillow, he glances at me.

  I roll to my side, and prop myself on my elbow, taking him in.

  “Yes, but I was right about her loving him.”

  He smiles.

  “You don’t understand,” he says. “Two women don’t love a man the same way. What you call love is different than what my sister considers love. Even if it were true, you didn’t give him a chance to explain to you what happened that night. You thought you knew better, and maybe you did, but by doing so, you gave him a good reason to distrust you. You did the exact same thing when you chose to stay in New York, take a break or whatever. I’ve known Jagger since we were kids. If there’s one thing about him that stood the test of time, it is the fact that he is a very consistent man. When he sets his mind or heart on something, he doesn’t falter. That’s why it’s so easy to fall for him. He’s never confused. He doesn’t go back and forth or play games. He knew something was off with you even when you were back home. He had a sense that something was going on when you called him from New York. Still, you took him by surprise, and that made him doubt himself. He’s furious because he thinks he was wrong about you, and not only once. He also thinks he’s done everything in his power to make you stick with him. This whole idea of him working for more money came to him because of you.”