Inside, Erin was ushered to the back of the room where the gray-suited Ms. Lawrence worked. She explained what happened in circumstances where a child was left alone after an accident or abandonment.

  “She was not abandoned. Her parents died.” Erin stopped and took hold of her temper. “She’s a child, Ms. Lawrence. She’s four years old. She hasn’t truly comprehended what is happening to her. You can’t send her to a foster home.”

  “It’s just until we find her relatives.”

  “No.” Erin stood firm. “She’s already had one trauma, and I’m not sure she understands the impact of it. To be sent to strangers, she’ll really feel abandoned.”

  “Ms. Taylor, this is really none of your business.”

  Erin stood up. “Children are my business. I run a day-care center where we care for children. This child in particular.” Erin took a breath. “I have an idea.”

  At that point another social worker appeared in the doorway. “Anything wrong?” she asked. Ms. Lawrence shook her head.

  “Sam is used to staying with me. Why don’t you just let her stay until you find her relatives?”

  “This is outside of procedure. You’re not an authorized foster parent.”

  “Then authorize me.”

  “It’s not that easy. There are procedures that need to be followed. You have to have a—”

  “Sam regularly stays at my home overnight. Whenever her parents are away I am their sitter. She has her own room, even some of her clothes are at my house.”

  “Ms. Taylor, you don’t understand,” the unidentified woman spoke.

  “I understand that a child is out there,” she pointed toward the door, “whose parents died yesterday and who is alone and frightened and you want to put her with strangers when she could stay with someone she knows and loves.”

  “That is not how things are done.”

  “Then change how things are done.”

  Luanne would be starving by now. Digger was late picking her up for lunch. He took the stairs two at a time. Turning into the hallway he was surprised to see it full of people. And equally surprised to see Samantha Pierce.

  “Digger,” she said without the usual pleasure in her eyes. She started running toward him. Instinctively he hunched down to receive her. She was crying. “What’s wrong, Sam?”

  “Gone,” she sobbed and tightened her arms around his neck.

  Digger carried her with him straight to his sister’s office. Luanne looked up at the noise.

  “What’s going on?” she asked, standing up.

  “I thought you could tell me. What is Sam doing here?”

  “Sam?”

  He tried to pull the little girl back, but she continued to sob on his shoulder and tightened her arms.

  “Samantha Pierce. She’s one of the children from Erin’s nursery school.”

  Luanne looked at him. She walked around and tried to see Sam’s face. The child hid it further in his shoulder. Luanne touched Sam’s hand.

  “Luanne?” Digger asked again.

  “Sam’s parents had an accident yesterday on the way back from Austin.”

  “That’s why they didn’t pick her up.”

  Luanne’s knowing eyes flashed understanding that Digger had somehow been with Erin and knew about Sam’s predicament.

  “Are they going to be all right?”

  Sam answered with her arms, squeezing tighter around him. Luanne shook her head and without speaking he understood what the child meant when she’d said, gone.

  “What are they going to do with her?”

  Luanne didn’t get to answer. A loud argument grabbed their attention, and they looked in the direction of the noise.

  Digger recognized Erin’s voice.

  “We can hear you all the way to my office.” Luanne Rogers stood in the door. Behind her was Digger holding Sam.

  Erin sat quietly while Ms. Lawrence explained what happened to Sam’s parents and Erin’s unreasonable request.

  “I can vouch for her,” Digger said. Four sets of eyes went to him. “What she says is true. Sam does have a room at her house. I carried the little girl there last night. She stays often, and she loves Ms. Taylor.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Clayton, but—”

  “Gemma, get the papers for foster care ready.” Luanne addressed the woman in the gray-suit. “I know Ms. Taylor and I can also vouch for her.” When Ms. Lawrence started to speak, Luanne cut her off. “We’ve done this before and we are here to look out for the best interest of the child. What better hands can she be in than someone who already knows her and loves her?” She turned to Erin. “Fill out the forms and leave them with Ms. Lawrence. We’ll get everything else done as quickly as possible.”

  Erin silently thanked Luanne.

  Chapter Nine

  George and Claudia Pierce were laid to rest two days later after a simple ceremony. Erin wasn’t sure if Sam understood any of what was going on. She clung to Erin or Digger, refusing to allow anyone else to touch her. She’d taken the photo of her parents from the nightstand in her room at Erin’s house and carried it everywhere.

  The university had hosted the burial meal. Erin and Digger attended with Sam. She ate only a small amount before she climbed into Erin’s lap and fell asleep. Digger carried her to the car. The day had been exhausting, and she needed to sleep.

  Digger also carried Sam into Erin’s house and put her to bed.

  Erin had noticed he’d eaten little at the funeral dinner. She placed a large glass of iced tea in front of him and warmed up some of last night’s leftovers, lamb chops with mint jelly, mashed potatoes and peas. Sam usually liked lamb chops, but Erin hadn’t been able to get her to eat much and there was plenty left over.

  She and Digger ate in silence. He finished first and pushed his plate aside. He finished his iced tea and got up to refill his glass. Erin watched the comfortable way he moved about her kitchen.

  “Do you think she’ll be all right?” he asked. She heard the concern in his voice. He’d been abandoned at thirteen, and he wore the scars to this day. Would Sam’s be deeper?

  “She’s younger than you were. She doesn’t understand a lot of what’s happening now, but in time she will.”

  He sat down and linked his hands together, resting his chin on them. “It was nineteen years ago this August, and I remember the day my parents died with the same clarity as if it had happened yesterday. I was stunned at first. I didn’t believe them when they told me. I thought it was all an elaborate trick someone was playing on me.”

  Erin reached over and placed her hand on his arm. He took her hand and by mutual agreement they both stood up and went into the family room. Digger picked up his glass of iced tea and held her hand with his free one.

  “The school principal called me into his office and told me I had to go home, that someone would drive me.”

  Erin listened. She understood the fantasies that could build when people didn’t know what was going on.

  “The police were there when I got there and they immediately took me away.”

  Erin squeezed his hand and pulled him down onto the sofa.

  “No one would explain anything. I kept asking questions and no one would tell me a thing. Finally, one of the neighbors, a man from down the block convinced the cop to let him talk to me for a moment. He told me.”

  Flashes of Erin’s conversation with Sam as they sat on the bench outside the courthouse came back to her. She hadn’t wanted Sam to learn of it from a stranger, someone she didn’t know and didn’t care about.

  “It’s good you were there with Sam.”

  “You care about her, don’t you?”

  He looked away from her as if she’d entered a secret place.

  “She’s hard not to like. She runs into you, puts her little arms around your neck and squeezes with all her might.” Digger had a slight smile on his face. The kind that comes from pleasant memories. Erin knew he had terrible memories from his past. She was glad Sam had given him a good one.

  “She’s been at the school since she was six months old.”

  “She came that young?”

  Erin nodded. “I’ve had her since she was practically born. I was working there when we had three infants. We could only take three because they required constant care. Sam was mine.”

  “She’s still yours,” Digger whispered.

  “Only for a little while. I don’t know of any relatives, but I’m sure Social Services will find someone. Then she’ll be gone.”

  Erin had turned away from Digger when she said that. She didn’t want him to see her face when she thought of Sam going away permanently, but he pressed her shoulder into the sofa so he could see her face.

  “She’s not mine,” Erin said. “I know that. She’s just been with me a very long time. I love Sam as if she were my own. I never imagined I wouldn’t see her go to school, grow up, marry and have children of her own.”

  “Maternal instinct,” Digger said.

  “Call it what you will. I can’t imagine going to work every day and not having her rush across the room and throw herself into my arms.”

  “I completely understand,” he said simply.

  For several moments neither of them spoke. Erin was alone in her own musings of what would happen next. She didn’t know what Digger was thinking. He hadn’t been around Sam as long as she had, but he seemed to like Sam just as much.

  Finally, he got up. “I have to leave now,” he said.

  She got up, too. “Thank you for coming with me today. I’m sure it meant something to Sam even if she doesn’t know it yet.”

  He nodded. It was a gesture he used when he felt embarrassed about a compliment. Erin had seen him do it several times, and she expected it now.

  “If you need any help with Sam’s adjustment, call Luanne. She’s very good with children. She’d love to hear from you again.”

  “I will.” Erin wanted to call him, but he’d passed her off to his sister. “I also want to say thank you.”

  “For what?”

  They were walking toward her door. “Helping us. You told me you didn’t want to be around us, but at every turn you’re there.” She looked up at him. “I appreciate it. I don’t know what would have happened at Child Welfare if you hadn’t been there.”

  He nodded again. Erin took a step forward. She knew it was a bad idea, but she didn’t care. When Digger went through the door this time, she might never see him again, outside of the construction yard. She stepped into his arms and hugged him around the middle, resting her head on his chest.

  The action surprised him. He went stiff for a moment. A lifetime of seconds passed before she felt his arms encircle her. Erin dissolved into him. She didn’t care if he knew how she felt. He was leaving and this was farewell.

  Digger’s hands went into her hair. She felt his lips on her temple and a wave of passion coursed through her.

  “Goodbye,” he whispered.

  Three weeks later Luanne was right on time for Erin’s third home visit. According to regulations, a foster parent had to have three in-home visits. Luanne was accelerating the procedure. Erin opened the door Saturday morning to admit Digger’s sister, and Digger was with her.

  “I hope you don’t mind. We thought Sam might want some of her toys and clothes from home. Digger brought them.”

  Erin stood back to allow them access. She hadn’t seen him since the day of Sam’s parents’ funeral. Her eyes were hungry for the sight of him.

  “Where do you want them?” he asked.

  “By the stairs. Sam is asleep. I don’t want to wake her yet.” Erin stared at his back as he walked away. It felt like a lifetime since she’d seen him.

  The addition was progressing. The foundation had been poured and the walls were going up. Erin had vacated her office since the outside wall was knocked down. If Digger still came at night she didn’t see him. She left at closing each day and she and Sam went home to spend the evening together.

  Erin took Luanne into the kitchen and poured her coffee. They sat at the table with a plate of cookies between them. Luanne wasn’t here on a search and destroy mission, it was more like a get-to-know-you visit.

  “How’s she doing?” Luanne asked.

  “She clings all the time. I can’t go anywhere without her. I think she’s afraid I’ll go away and not come back.”

  “That’s pretty normal. She needs time.”

  “She’s not her old animated self. She doesn’t talk like she used to, and she carries a photo of her parents all the time.”

  Digger came in then. He went to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee. Erin wondered if his sister noticed how comfortable he was in Erin’s kitchen. He didn’t join them at the table, but brought the cup to the counter and leaned against it.

  “How are you?” Luanne asked.

  Erin’s head snapped up. “I’m fine.”

  “That’s not true,” Luanne stated.

  Erin hesitated a moment. She felt Digger staring at her back. “I feel helpless. She’s so hurt, and there’s nothing I can do to help her.”

  “You are helping her,” Digger said. “You’re with her. She’ll come around. Just keep being there for her.” Who better to know than him, someone who’d gone through the same kind of loss?

  Erin nodded and offered a smile. Luanne took one of the cookies. “Have you had any luck in locating a relative?” Erin asked. She hoped no one heard the quiver in her voice.

  “Not yet. Apparently both her parents were only children and both their parents are deceased.”

  “What happens if you find someone?”

  “Don’t you mean what happens to you if we don’t find someone?”

  Erin dropped her head. She did mean that. She didn’t realize how quickly she’d become attached to Sam. She loved the little girl and wanted to make sure she smiled again. Anyone who came along now would be another stranger. Sam needed stability in her life, but Erin wasn’t a blood-tie. That meant something to families. If any of Erin’s sisters died she’d gladly rush to take care of their children. Erin had to be prepared to give up Samantha.

  “It’s going to be hard to give her up.”

  Luanne reached across the table and took her arm. “You can have a family of your own.” Erin noticed that Luanne slanted a glance at her brother when she said that.

  Erin felt like telling Luanne the whole story of her life, but she held back. Erin would never have a family of her own. She knew that. She’d accepted it years ago. But with Sam she had something of her dream. Still, she didn’t want to hope for too much.

  “There is that option,” she said, knowing there was no such option open to her. The roller coaster collapse so many years ago had sealed her fate. “How long before a search is given up?”

  “Before she becomes a ward of the state?”

  “That sounds archaic.”

  “There is no set time period. When the search is exhausted. When all possible searches and avenues are checked. When that’s done and nothing more can be, we consider it over. She becomes a ward of the state. Until then, she’s yours.”

  Until then. The words were like loosening the bolts of the sword over her head. She could have Sam but only for a short time. She’d fought the dragon of temporary custody. She’d won the battle, but invariably the war would be lost.

  “I have to go now,” Luanne said. She got up. Erin walked her to the door. “This was the final visit. You’re official now.” Luanne walked down the steps and toward Digger’s Bronco parked in the driveway.

  “Digger,” Erin stopped him. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Being a gentleman.”

  Digger’s eyes met hers. They stared at each other in silence. Erin could smell him. She wanted to lean forward and touch him, kiss him. She didn’t know what to make of the look in his eyes. Was it lust, love, regret, hurt, confusion? There were too many things it could be and he gave her no signal.

  Finally, she fell back on something neutral. “Thanks for bringing the toys. I’m sure Sam will be happy when she sees them.”

  “Goodbye, Erin.”

  He went out the door. Erin caught the swinging screen and stopped it. He’d said goodbye. Erin didn’t expect to see him again. There was no need. They had nothing between them, and she had Sam to take care of now.

  Digger sat in his car, across from the school, a week later. He felt like a stalker. He wanted to see Erin one more time. He knew this was crazy, spying on her, watching her when she didn’t know he was there, but this was the only way. He couldn’t approach her, couldn’t be near her. Each time he got close his hands found a life of their own; they invariably pulled her against him. After that he had no will that didn’t involve his taking her in his arms and kissing her. He had to keep a lot of distance between them, but he also had to see her.

  No other car had stopped in front of the school for the past fifteen minutes. She had to come out soon. She usually left at six. Checking his watch it was a few minutes before the hour. When she finally came out, he sat up in the seat. She was holding one of Sam’s hands and she was limping.

  “What’s she been doing?” he asked no one. He watched as she slowly progressed to the van and settled Sam in the car seat. Then she limped around to the driver’s door and got in.

  When the van pulled into the street Digger was right behind it. He followed her home, pulling into her driveway directly behind her. He got out and walked to the driver’s door just as she turned off the engine. Digger yanked the door open.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  He was acting like a crazy man and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop. “You only limp if you overdo. So what have you been doing?”

  “Back off,” she screamed, pushing him away. “I’m too tired to argue with you. Now go away and leave me alone.”

  “I can’t leave you alone,” he said. “I keep trying, but you’re in my blood.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, his mouth hot and seeking, devouring, punishing, his body instantly hard with a need that surpassed anything he’d ever known. Erin slumped, accepting the onslaught of raging emotions that forced him over the edge.