By noon Erin was ready to pull her hair out. She dove into the activities with the children as a way to clear her mind from the belief that the phone would ring at any minute.

  During nap time Erin had a moment to look outside. Digger wasn’t there. The addition seemed to be progressing rapidly. There was still a crane in the yard, but from what Erin could tell it was no longer being used. The complete structure was up and the men were working on the roofing. Electronic hammers and screwdrivers made buzzing noises that the teachers had been competing with for weeks. Each burst of sound made her think of Digger.

  As the last parent left, Erin remembered she hadn’t received another call from Luanne. Maybe there would be a message on her machine at home.

  Erin took hold of Sam’s hand. “What would you like for dinner?”

  “Pizza,” Sam answered without hesitation.

  “We’ll stop at Mario’s on the way home.” Erin wasn’t in the mood to cook. She wanted to retreat to her bed, but Sam was more active than that. Erin would have to listen to Sam chatter, watch television with her, maybe even have some of the neighborhood kids in, until it was time for Sam’s bath and bed.

  And maybe Luanne would call.

  Erin locked the school door and happily swung Sam’s hand as they walked to the van.

  “Do you know what Trevor did today?” Sam asked as Erin settled her in the seat.

  “What did Trevor do?”

  “He had a banana for lunch.”

  Erin knew she was supposed to make the jump between Sam’s thought processes and what happened.

  “What did he do with the banana?” She spoke loudly, over the burst of an electric hammer. At first the sound didn’t register. It was so natural to hear it. She took the photo of Sam’s parents and snapped the seat belt in place. The burst came again. Erin stopped as she realized everyone should be gone.

  She turned around and could see no one and nothing except Digger’s truck.

  “Sam, stay here. I need to talk to Digger.”

  She closed the van’s door and went into the yard. He was on the roof. The hammer bursts came in regular intervals. Digger was concentrating. He wasn’t looking at the ground or at her. Erin went closer, trying to call his name between the hammer’s language. He never looked down.

  Erin saw the ladder and went toward it. Realizing she was still holding the photo, she put it down on the edge of the crane and climbed the ladder to the roof.

  “Digger,” she called. He looked up startled.

  “What are you doing here? Get down.”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  “I think you said everything that needed to be said yesterday. Now get off this roof before you have an accident.”

  “Digger, I’m sorry. I’ll take all the blame. I should never have let things get out of hand.”

  “Stop!” he shouted. “We’re both adults and we can share the blame equally. Now get off my roof.”

  Erin stepped back and lost her balance. Digger reached for her. His steady hand and better balance caught her, but the scream that reached their ears came from the ground. Both of them looked down.

  “Sam!” Erin’s shocked voice couldn’t be heard by anyone other than Digger. He pushed her down onto her hands and knees where she would have more control over her balance and left her. He rushed to the ladder and started down it. Erin followed as fast as she could.

  Erin got to the child a moment behind Digger. He was examining her quickly, but not moving her.

  “She’s unconscious. I don’t see any blood,” he said. “Call 9-1-1.”

  The waiting room seemed to grow smaller the more Digger paced it. He’d sat with Erin and Sam in the emergency cubicle, but he couldn’t remain still. Even when Erin reached over and held his hand, he wasn’t calmed. Eventually he’d gone to the waiting room, but it was taking too long for anyone to come and talk to him.

  He went back to the emergency room stall.

  “How is she?”

  Sam was awake.

  “Digger.” She smiled as if nothing had happened.

  “How are you, honey?”

  “I want to go to the playroom,” she said. To her it was a game. To him he’d been scared out of his wits. He looked at Erin.

  “The doctor said she has a mild concussion. They’re doing the paperwork to release her. I’m going to have to watch her through the night to make sure she sleeps normally, but she should be fine.” Erin ran her hand over Sam’s arm.

  “I had a V.I.,” she told Digger. “And it didn’t even hurt.” She shook her head from side to side to emphasize how big a girl she was.

  “Very good. Needles scare me.”

  The nurse came in then with instructions. She recited them to both Erin and Digger, looking from one to the other as if they were Sam’s parents. He didn’t correct her. He actually liked the idea.

  “You be good now.” The nurse smiled at Sam. “And no more riding cranes.” She left them alone.

  “Where’s my picture?” Sam asked.

  “The photograph.” Erin realized what had happened. Digger waited for her to explain. “When I saw you on the roof I had the photo in my hand. I laid it on the crane.”

  “She must have been trying to get it,” he finished.

  “It’s at the school, Sam,” Erin told her. “When you fell and the ambulance came, we were thinking of you and forgot the picture.”

  “We’ll pick it up on the way home, all right?” Digger asked.

  “All right.”

  The three of them left the hospital four hours after arriving. Sam had only had a few crackers and a glass of water to eat, but she fell asleep across Erin’s lap in the cab of the truck.

  Digger looked at Sam nervously.

  “She’s breathing normally,” Erin told him.

  The school wasn’t far from the hospital and they got there in no time. Digger climbed down. Erin reached for her seat belt.

  “Stay,” he said. “I’ll take you home.”

  “I can drive,” she told him.

  “I know, but you were right. We need to talk.” He paused, looking at Sam asleep. “I want to stay with her a while.” His eyes came back to Erin’s. “If that’s all right?”

  Erin nodded. Digger reached under the seat and pulled out a long flashlight. He touched Erin’s hand then went toward the fence. The truck disappeared from view and Digger looked around the area where Sam fell. The dark and dirt of the yard had swallowed the photo.

  Digger switched off the light. The darkness claimed him. The past took hold and he wanted to scream. She could have been killed. Another child’s life he would have been responsible for. Sam, he thought. Four years old. Josh had been three, but they were so similar. They had the same happy innocence. The same unconditional love they poured over those they trusted to keep them safe.

  He was going to lose Sam. He’d already lost Erin. It felt as if a hot poker was inside him. They were waiting for him. He needed to go back. Digger had switched on the light and headed back when he remembered Erin had said she’d set the photo on the crane. He climbed on the big yellow monster and looked around. The photo lay on the floor under the seat.

  “Did you find it?” Erin asked as he returned to the driver’s seat.

  He handed it to her and watched the relief spread across her features. He started the truck and drove them, in silence, to her house. He lifted Sam and carried her to her room where both he and Erin dressed her and put her to bed.

  Only the night-light illuminated the room.

  “You must be tired,” he told her when they stood looking down at Sam. “I’ll stay with her while you rest.”

  Erin didn’t speak. She nodded and left them. Minutes later she came back with coffee. Without a word she handed him a mug and took a seat on the floor beside him. There was only a rocking chair in the room. He sat in it. She leaned against the side with her own mug of coffee.

  “They’re so innocent,” he said.

  “I know. I’m going to hate losing her.”

  “Losing her?”

  “Luanne called this morning. Sam has a great-aunt in Wyoming. Luanne expected a call from their child welfare department sometime today. I checked the answering machine here. There is no call from her. But it will probably be a short while before she’s turned over to a family member.”

  Digger couldn’t help but put his hand on her shoulder. They were both very still. “How do you feel about her leaving?”

  “Like someone stuck a knife in my heart and they’re pulling it out one inch at a time.”

  Digger’s hand threaded through her hair and she leaned back into it. He sat there watching Sam’s normal breathing and smoothing his fingers through Erin’s hair. He didn’t dare move.

  “Digger,” she called softly after a period of quiet.

  “What?”

  “You understand this is Sam.”

  “Sam?”

  “Yes, Sam not Josh. She’ll be fine.”

  His hand stilled in her hair. “I know.”

  “This wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have left her alone.”

  Digger came out of his chair and pulled her up from the floor. “It wasn’t your fault either,” he whispered. “It was an accident. Nothing more.”

  “And it turned out fine. She’ll be all right.”

  “Yes.” He expelled a breath. “She’ll be all right.”

  She knew he’d been sitting there comparing them. Sam and Josh. Two children in his protection. And he’d failed them both. “Erin, go and get some rest. I’ll wake you if there is any change.”

  He knew he wouldn’t go into her bedroom. If he went there the jaws of life couldn’t get him out. “She’ll be fine,” he whispered. She left him and he sat back down.

  Sam slept soundlessly, her breathing steady and normal. Digger kept vigil, rocking back and forth in the chair until the rhythm of his own motion lulled him to sleep.

  Josh was there, waving to him. He ran toward him. The sun was bright and the day was beautiful. They were in a field of long grass. It waved back and forth. Josh’s head bobbed up and down in the long fronds.

  Digger waited with open arms. Then the huge yellow monster came up from the ground. It was big, bigger than Josh. It towered over him. The child didn’t see it as it opened its mouth. Digger shouted silent cries as he rushed to get to his son. If he could only reach him before the yellow monster… He could save him.

  “Digger, wake up. Digger, you’re dreaming.”

  He opened his eyes. Erin was leaning over him. Her hands were on his face and she was whispering. “It’s all right,” she said. “It was only a dream. A nightmare, but it’s over now.”

  He sat forward. The rocking chair knocked her off balance and she fell onto him and the chair. Pushing herself back, she stood up. She wasn’t wearing a robe, only a nightgown. Digger groaned at the need for her that surfaced the moment he came out of the dream.

  “You need to rest. Why don’t you lie down in the guest room? I’ll watch Sam for a while.”

  He stood up. “I need some air. Give me your keys. I’ll go get your van.”

  “That’s three miles. You can’t walk there.”

  “It’s not that far.” She stared at him, but went to get the keys and walked him to the door. “I’ll be back,” he said and turned away.

  “Digger,” Erin called. He turned to her. “Don’t be long,” she said and moved into his arms.

  Erin went back to sit with Sam. She breathed normally. Watching Sam might prove a waste of time, but neither Erin nor Digger could get a good night’s sleep. Erin hadn’t been able to sleep. Digger was on her mind. As much as she wanted to stop seeing him, the moment he arrived she couldn’t get close enough to him.

  Tonight might be the last time she saw him. Tomorrow Sam would be back to herself and they would all go back to being who they were yesterday.

  Erin rocked in the chair where Digger had sat watching Sam. Sam would be gone soon, too. The house would be quiet without her constant chatter. Erin could resume her morning skating routine with Gillian. And she could remember not to get so involved with the kids. They had their own parents, their own families.

  Sam turned over and kicked the covers away. Erin put them back over her and stretched. She’d been sitting a long time. She wondered where Digger was. It was almost morning and he hadn’t returned. Erin wouldn’t let her thoughts go where she knew they were headed. She started another pot of coffee instead of thinking about how he didn’t want to return. He’d told her he wanted children. With her there would be none. He’d lost a son. He wanted another child, the product of his own body. She couldn’t help him, couldn’t be the other side of the biological equation.

  But she loved him. More than she thought possible. She wanted everything for him and wanted to be with him, but that wasn’t possible. Erin hadn’t felt sorry for herself in years, but tonight with Digger watching Sam she knew she wanted everything he’d offered her yesterday in his bedroom. She wanted marriage to him, children, all the trappings. She wanted to fight with him and wake up with him. She wanted to make love to him and grow old with him.

  Erin didn’t see a solution for them. It was heartache all the way around. They both wanted the same thing, but it couldn’t work. Digger had the chance. He could find someone to marry and have his own children.

  “Erin.”

  She’d been concentrating so hard she hadn’t heard the front door open or Digger’s footsteps. When she looked up he was standing in the doorway. He looked terrible. His eyes were red as if he’d not only been up all night, but had been crying.

  “What is it?”

  “I love you, Erin.”

  “I love you, too.” Tears gathered in her throat and she could hardly speak. She stood up and stepped away from the rocking chair.

  “I know yesterday I said some things that pushed you away from me. But I can’t live without you. I want you to marry me.”

  He stood waiting for her to say something. Erin was confused. He was offering her the world. She wanted to rush to it, headlong, unthinking and uncaring of any consequences.

  “I said some things, too.” Erin took a step forward. She put her hand on the dresser. Her knees were getting weak. “I didn’t mean to throw it at you in anger, but it remains the truth. I can’t have children. You want them.”

  “I do,” he said. “I’ve told everyone who meets me that I don’t like children, but that’s a lie. I think they complete a family. And I want a family, with you. I don’t think I can go the rest of my life without you. If we can’t have our own children are you opposed to adoption? There are so many foster children who need a home.”

  “Digger, this isn’t a joke is it? Because if you’re just dangling a carrot in front of me, it’s the cruelest thing you can do.”

  “This is not a joke.”

  Erin stared at him. Tears washed down Erin’s cheeks.

  “Will you marry me?”

  Erin didn’t move. She was too stunned to move. Then she flew across the room and into his arms. “Are you sure?” she cried. “Are you sure about the children, adoption?”

  “I’m sure that you’re the only woman for me. I’m sure that whomever we take into our lives will be the best family we can have.”

  Erin tightened her arms around him and kissed him with all her heart.

  “Can I take that as a yes?”

  “Yes,” she said and resumed the kiss.

  Erin was surprised she could hear anything other than the blood rushing in her ears, but she recognized the sound of tiny feet. Pulling back, she saw Sam standing there holding her photograph and a teddy bear. Digger kept Erin close as they both turned to look at Sam.

  “I’m hungry,” she said. “I want my pizza now.”

  Erin and Digger burst into laughter.

  Epilogue

  The courtroom was full of family. Erin stood close to Digger. Sam between them held a hand of each of her new parents.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Clayton, I don’t often get to see happy couples in my courtroom. I love this part of being a judge. It is my pleasure to sign the adoption papers for Ms. Samantha Yvette Pierce.”

  “Sometimes I’m called Sy,” Sam said out loud. The court laughed, including the judge. He pounded his gavel and restored order.

  “Sy, I wish you a happy life.” The judge spoke directly to Sam. She smiled back at him. Erin looked at Digger over her head. “Court is adjourned,” he pronounced.

  “I’m yours,” Sam shouted and jumped into Erin’s arms. She hugged her and dragged Digger closer to make them a threesome.

  “Yep, you’re mine.” Digger knuckled her stomach, and she giggled.

  “Welcome to the family, Sam.” They all turned to look at Brad. Digger’s entire family had flown in for the adoption ceremony. Erin’s sisters were there and Sam’s great-aunt.

  She lived in a nursing home in Wyoming and couldn’t take care of Sam, but she wanted to make sure the child had a good family. She sat in a wheelchair, smiling as the procession of family members walked toward the court’s exit doors.

  Erin stopped when she reached the place where Aunt Joyce sat. “Thank you for coming.” Erin held Sam’s hand.

  “Do you know who I am?” Aunt Joyce asked Sam.

  Sam looked up at Erin. She shook her head.

  “This is your Aunt—”

  “It’s all right,” Aunt Joyce interrupted her. “You will tell her as time goes by.”

  Erin took Aunt Joyce’s hand and squeezed it. “I will,” she said.

  Digger put his arm around Erin’s waist. She smiled at him. Her husband. Something she never thought she’d have. Her life couldn’t be better. She didn’t expect she would always be this happy, but she had everything she wanted, a husband and a child.

  ISBN: 978-1-4592-3683-7

  A FATHER’S FORTUNE

  Copyright © 2003 by Shirley Hailstock

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.