“Not here,” I say, my voice quivering.

  “Then where?”

  I close my eyes. I know exactly what I should say to put an end to this, but the throbbing in my core is too powerful to ignore. That kiss was too powerful, too seductive. Too good and bad and everything in-between.

  “My apartment,” I finally answer.

  Beneath the tree, John smiles. “When?”

  I hesitate, pulled under by another wave of resistance.

  “Tonight,” he says. “Eight o’clock.”

  I can still stop this.

  I can’t…

  “Tonight, I’ll come to your place,” he says when I don’t reply. “I’ll knock twice on the door. If you don’t answer, I’ll leave and we’ll pretend like that kiss never happened. I won’t come near you again. But if you answer...”

  I lean forward, drawn to his sudden silence. “What?” I ask, already breathless.

  “Let’s just say that you really want to answer that door.”

  Fuck.

  I bite down. Hard. It has been so long since anyone has made me feel this special. Last time, it was all a lie. A trick. But this is different.

  John Kirby is different.

  I lower my phone, gently swiping the screen to open a new message. By the time I’m done typing out my address and pushing send, my hesitation is gone.

  It’s just like Daisy said.

  Rules were made to be broken.

  CHAPTER 12

  ROSE

  Nope. Daisy was wrong.

  Rules were made to be followed, respected, and unquestioned.

  I can’t do this!

  I can’t kiss students in my office!

  I can’t invite them back to my place and I sure as hell can’t do… whatever it is we’re about to do.

  I will not answer that door.

  I glance at the clock. 7:55.

  I was fine. I was just dandy until about 7:47. I was fed and showered and dressed and ready, but then — oh, then — I took one look at myself in the mirror and a stranger was gawking back at me.

  This isn’t me.

  I’m not this girl. I’m not the kind that breaks the rules and shaves her legs because she has a student coming over to… whatever the hell it is we’re about to do.

  “I can’t do this,” I whisper as I launch off my couch in search of my phone.

  Daisy. I need to call Daisy. Or… oh, maybe not. She’ll only tell me to shut up and go for it and to call her afterward to tell her how it went. The last thing I need is a cheerleader shouting my name as one of the best halfbacks in college football charges right into my end zone.

  Dammit. Now she has me saying it.

  No, what I need right now is a decent book, maybe a hot bath and a glass of wine. A good night’s sleep would be nice, too. Hopefully dreamless. I can guarantee that John Kirby will appear in my nighttime fantasies at least once a night for the foreseeable future. I could feel him near me all day. His playful voice in my ear. His lips on mine, firm and wicked. I’ve been trembling since that kiss. I’m still walking on jelly-filled knees, but that’s nothing a little hands-on solo therapy won’t take care of.

  Or I can just answer the door.

  Tell me you’re not thinking about giving in to this just once.

  What harm would that be, really? Just once. Just one casual hookup. It might actually do me some good.

  And I’ve already shaved, so…

  It’s not like everyone else is following the rules. Dr. Zach was awfully cozy with that girl at the game. Maybe guidelines really are just guidelines and not strict rules. I won’t lose my job over one tiny little infraction. That’d be ridiculous.

  Knock. Knock. Knock.

  Three of them on my door. One after the other. Slow and deliberate.

  I look at the clock again. 8:00. On the dot. At least he’s punctual.

  Knock. Knock.

  I flinch. Maybe I am wound tighter than a monkey’s butthole.

  I move silently toward the door and peek through the peephole just as a singular knock echoes through the air.

  Fuck. He’s gorgeous.

  He cleaned up. Even through the distorted view, I can tell he styled his hair. He shaved, too. Guess we both had the same idea.

  He flicks his eyes toward the peephole and smirks. I jolt backward.

  Don’t answer the door, Rose.

  I hold my breath, but that just makes the throbbing inside of me worse.

  Answer the door, Rose.

  I exhale slowly. Nope, still throbbing.

  My skin heats. My cheeks burn. The walls close in on me. Just one poke and it’ll all disappear and I’ll be able to breathe freely again, kind of like…

  A bubble.

  I do live in a safety bubble. Daisy was right about that, too. Opportunities come and go all the time, each one hanging just a little too far off the edge for me to risk reaching out and grabbing it. I don’t want to fall. To fail.

  But I don’t want to look back and say I never tried. Never dared. Never lived.

  Just once.

  I peek through the hole again.

  The hall is empty.

  He’s gone.

  My chest sinks. With a gasp, I slide the lock free and throw open the door. I take one quick step out, hoping to catch him from leaving, and—

  John.

  He’s still here. Still smirking and leaning casually against the wall. Waiting for me.

  I cross my arms in annoyance. “How did you know I’d do that?”

  He doesn’t answer. He merely pushes off the wall and lays a soft hand on my cheek. Beneath his gaze, I take a step back. Then another. And another. John moves with me, his eyes staying on mine the entire way inside. He closes the door behind us, then turns, spinning us around and pinning my back against it. I gasp as he leans in close enough to brush his lips against mine.

  “Hey,” he whispers.

  “Hi,” I squeak.

  He lingers, eyes slowly roaming my face. My neck. My body.

  “You look nice,” he says.

  I swallow hard. “Smell good.”

  His brow twitches. “What?”

  “You,” I stutter. “I mean, you. You smell… good.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Is that body spray? Or some kind of aftershave?”

  “Just soap.”

  “Right. Sorry. I haven’t…” A laugh clenches my throat. “I don’t spend a lot of time this close to men, so I can’t really tell the difference, but now that I—“ I sniff him. “Yeah, that’s just soap.”

  He smiles. “Rose.”

  “Good soap. Strong soap.”

  “You’re adorable.”

  “Oh.” I squeak again. “Thank you.”

  “If I kiss you, will you shut up?”

  “Probably.”

  He kisses me and I shut up.

  It’s slow, but just as thrilling as it was in the office. He caresses my cheek, fingers roaming back to touch my hair..

  Without thinking, I part my lips. John kisses me again, this time harder and deeper. I cling to his jacket to keep from falling over. He pulls me closer, his other arm curling around my back.

  “Are you okay?” he whispers, breaking the kiss for only a moment.

  I nod. “Uh-huh.” Another kiss, another wave of heat spreads across my skin. “Do you want something to drink?”

  “Nope,” he says.

  “A glass of water, or…” I shudder as his hand on my back slides downward. “A soda?”

  “Nope.”

  “A snack? We could grab a snack.”

  “I’ve got all I want right here,” he whispers before sticking his tongue in my mouth.

  My senses dissolve. I fall even deeper into his embrace, and he guides me backward through the apartment.

  “Bedroom this way?” he asks.

  I don’t even look. “Uh-huh.”

  We enter the hallway. We pass the kitchen, the bathroom, the linen closet. The lights dim the closer we get, but we don’t stop until my ankles graze the edge of my bed.

  “I’ve wanted this for so long,” John says as he drags his hand along my outer thigh, raising my skirt.

  I have to laugh. “We haven’t known each other that long.”

  “Every minute I can’t taste you is torture.”

  I swallow hard. Desire courses through me, unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. I feel like someone else, but oddly grounded in the strangest way. As if this was always meant to happen.

  John lifts me up. My stomach lurches, but only for a moment. I laugh, my legs curling around his waist as he climbs onto the bed and sets me down. His lips find mine in seconds, and I tremble as his groin presses between my thighs.

  Well, that’s an erection.

  I chuckle.

  John pauses, pushing up on his thick arms to regard me beneath him. “What?” he asks.

  “Nothing,” I say, my cheeks burning. “I’m sorry. You’re…”

  “What?”

  “You’re very hard.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “John Kirby is in my bed and he’s hard.” I exhale, overwhelmed. “Sorry, I just need a minute to process this.”

  He smiles, playful and patient. “Take all the time you need,” he whispers, lowering to kiss my neck. “We have all night.”

  I close my eyes, each kiss another bloom of pleasure. All night. Yes. I could go all night with his lips on my throat. My collarbone. Yes. This is…

  His hand drifts along my belly, gently touching the edge of my breasts. It’s a simple tease and my body responds, my nipples becoming hard in my sweater. I sigh, the sensation of his tongue on my neck an elixir of heat and greed.

  John pinches the top button on my cardigan. I open my eyes and he stops, his eyes poised with a silent question. Yes or no? Stop or go?

  With a nod, I kiss him. He continues unbuttoning my sweater, revealing my bra inch-by-inch. He kisses the newly exposed skin, his wicked lips caressing my cleavage.

  I moan, the sound sweet on my tongue. John moves, grinding himself against me, and the throbbing between my thighs gets harder to ignore. Instinctual urges roll my hips, grinding him back, and he groans softly as he crushes his lips on mine again. Our bodies move together, blend together, hearts racing and tensions mounting.

  “You feel so good,” John whispers, his voice strained.

  “I know,” I say, instantly regretting it. “I mean—“

  He laughs. “I know what you meant.”

  “Sorry. I’m…”

  “I know.”

  Another sweet kiss. Another gentle roll of his body and we melt closer together. I burn for more, more of him, and I push his jacket over his shoulders. My fingers glide along his biceps and strong forearms.

  Good lord.

  If he flexes, I might come right here and now.

  John pushes up onto his knees. I whimper as he pulls away, but I purr at the sight of him towering over me, his body still between my legs. He reaches for his belt, his seductive eyes still on me as he pulls it loose and lets his zipper fall.

  “Is this okay?” he asks.

  My breath catches. I nod.

  John smiles as he touches my open thighs, hands inching beneath my skirt. “You are so beautiful,” he says, his voice a low growl.

  I quiver beneath him. He pinches his shirt and pulls it over his head, exposing his chest.

  There’s a spot down the side of his right abs that’s darker than his skin. Three black Greek letters. A tattoo.

  Alpha Delta Xi.

  I stiffen.

  John lowers to kiss me. His lips purse against mine, but somehow I’ve forgotten how it works. I go numb. I turn to stone, thoughts and emotions long dormant resurfacing along with everything else.

  Regret. Disgust. Hatred.

  Heartache.

  “Rose?” John balances on his arms over me. “Are you okay?”

  I say nothing.

  “Rose?”

  Say something.

  John shifts back, but stays close. “Rose, what’s wrong?” he asks.

  “Nothing,” I say, barely. “I…”

  I can’t do this.

  Not again.

  I rise slowly, slinking out from under John. “You should go,” I say.

  “What?” he asks. “Why? Did I hurt you?”

  Not yet.

  “No,” I say, trying to shake off the thought. “Just… you should go.”

  John lingers, but only for a moment. “Okay,” he says. “If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Okay.”

  His weight lifts off behind me. I plant my feet and eyes on the floor, too cowardly to look at him as he crosses in front of me to the door.

  “I’ll see you later,” John says.

  I stay quiet. I don’t mean to. I want to speak. I want to explain what’s happening, but I’m just as surprised as anybody.

  “Yeah, I’ll—“

  My front door closes. He’s gone.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  CHAPTER 13

  JOHN

  I climb the stairs of the Alpha Delta Xi house, pausing at the sight of those three letters on the front door.

  On a usual night, a girl catches sight of that tattoo and I have to spend a little extra shower time washing off her saliva. Not this time.

  This time, she froze. Rose was there one moment and the next… she was somewhere else.

  What did I do wrong?

  And how can I bounce back?

  Should I even bother? I can’t afford to waste time if I’m going to catch up with Douglas, but the thought of moving on completely doesn’t sit right, either.

  Rejection I can take. I’ve felt that sting before. This is different.

  I feel… bad. I’m worried. My gut is twisted in knots, but not for me. For her.

  The way her eyes dimmed. That blank expression.

  I hurt her. Somehow.

  I don’t like it.

  “You lost, Kirby?”

  I look up as Drew Rose steps outside in a pair of sleek slacks and a blazer.

  Apparently, I’ve just been standing here gawking at the wall.

  I breathe a laugh. “A little, yeah.”

  He closes the door, his sharp face tilted with curiosity. “Early night?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You?”

  I shrug. “Date didn’t go well, unfortunately.”

  “Was it one of your…” He pauses to find the word. “Triwizard girls?”

  “Trifecta,” I say. “And yeah.”

  “Right! Trifecta. How’s that going?”

  Yeah, Johnny.

  How’s that going?

  “It’s going great,” I lie. “I’m setting them up and knocking them down. Delta Xi!”

  “Delta Xi,” he repeats. “Anyway, I’ve got a date myself, so I should get going.”

  “Anyone I know?” I ask.

  “Uh…” He shakes his head. “No, probably not.”

  “Try me. I know a lot of people.”

  “Just a girl from my econ class,” he says quickly.

  “375? I’m in that class, too. Which girl?”

  He pauses. “420, actually.”

  “Ah.” I nod. “I’ve got that next semester.”

  “Take good notes,” he says, weirdly jumping on that topic change. “It’s brutal. Speaking of, I left yours from last week’s lab on your desk. Thanks again for letting me copy those. I owe you one.”

  I chuckle. “I’m gonna cash in that favor before graduation, you know that, right?”

  “Anytime. You know where I sleep.” He starts walking, eager to leave. “Go, Bearhawks.”

  I let him go. “Thanks, buddy,” I say. “Good luck.”

  “And shake it off, John,” he says from the walkway. “You’ll get the next one. Delta Xi!”

  “Delta Xi!” I say as I head inside.

  “Delta XI!”

  The battle cry echoes throughout the sitting area. They must have heard us.

  I laugh, giving them a raised fist before taking the stairs to the second floor.

  I’ll get the next one.

  The next girl. There’s always a next one, especially on Greek Row. I could probably walk across the street, knock on the door of Beta Kappa, and that’d be that, but… I don’t know.

  There’s just something about this one.

  I figured it out.

  I thought about it all night, which is why I’m standing in line at this coffee cart right now, and I figured it out.

  It wasn’t me. It was her.

  There’s only one reason she’d react the way she did, and I know exactly what to do.

  I’ll get the next one? Nah.

  John Kirby isn’t out of this game yet.

  I order two coffees and cut across the quad toward Prism Hall. I don’t have chemistry class today, but that’s where the TA office is and she has Saturday morning office hours. She’ll be there, and no one will question why the big dumb jock needs help with his homework.

  I enter the building and head straight for the stairwell. As I reach the third floor landing, the door to the fourth floor opens above me, the sound echoing loudly.

  “John.”

  I look up, nearly dropping the coffees at the sight of her.

  It’s Rose, standing at the top of the stairs in an adorable gray skirt with a royal blue blouse, looking just as surprised as I feel.

  “Rose,” I say. “Hey.”

  “What are you doing here?” she asks.

  “I came to see you. Don’t you have office hours?”

  “The restroom up here is out of order and I have to…” She clears her throat. “Why did you come to see me?”

  “I knew you’d be here, and…” I hold out a coffee. “I don’t know about you, but I really need this this morning.”

  She takes it. “Thanks. And yeah, I’ve already had two, thus the reason I was… going to the restroom.” She takes a breath. “John, I’m really sorry about last night—”

  “Say no more,” I say. “It’s okay.”

  “No, I should explain.”

  “You don’t have to. I know what happened.”

  She looks at me. “You do?”

  “It was my fault,” I say. “I went too fast. I didn’t know you were a virgin.”