“Okay — stop,” I say, my belly jerking with laughter. “The mental imagery is happening too fast for me to keep up.”

  “Needless to say…” He dips me back and swings me up, sending a dizzy shock through my toes. “I have not embarrassed my mother once and I will not embarrass you either.”

  “Obviously.” I look down at his confident feet. “Did you learn ballet?”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “But my cousin up in Chicago is a ballerina and I’ve met some guys she works with. I can admit, without the slightest hesitation, that I am not hardcore enough to be a ballerino.”

  The laugh bursts from my chest. “Oh, really?”

  “I’m serious.” He grins. “Those guys are ripped. I’ll stick with the ballroom stuff.”

  “Did you enjoy it?”

  “Honestly, yeah,” he says. “At first, I thought it was lame, of course, but after a while… I got pretty good at it.”

  “Wow.” I stare at him, feeling a rush of warmth. “Why did you tell me this?”

  “Seems relevant to the current situation,” he says. “Also, when you laugh really hard, your nose curls up and that’s just… the cutest thing. I like making you do that.”

  I drop my eyes to our feet as my heart twists. “Oh.”

  He taps a finger beneath my chin, nudging me to look up again. “You know, that dress of yours is really doing things to me.”

  “What things?”

  “Like…” He leans in a little closer, dropping his voice to a soft whisper. “It’s making me want to lay you down and slides your panties off with my teeth…” I bite my lip as a shiver scratches down my spine. “I want to bury my face in your—”

  “John!”

  A large hand slaps his shoulder. I let go of him as we pull apart.

  “Hey, Coach!” John says.

  The hand slips from his shoulder and he shakes it, acting like it’s no big deal at all while my gut sinks down to my toes.

  It’s Cary freakin’ Pierce.

  He grins at John. “I see you’re having fun.”

  “You know me, Coach. I always bring a little fun with me everywhere I go, just in case.”

  My chest jerks, trying to keep calm as my ankles tremble in my heels.

  Cary nods at me, and I freeze. “And what is fun’s name today?” he asks.

  I open my mouth to speak. “I…”

  “This is Rose,” John says, holding my side. “She’s a friend of mine and a big fan of yours. You signed a ball for her last year. It’s her most prized possession.”

  My cheeks catch fire and I throw a hard glare at John.

  “Really?” Cary asks, extending his hand to me. “Gotta love a girl who loves her sports.”

  I blink as my tiny fingers disappear into his giant fist. “Yes, sir,” I say.

  “Welcome, Rose. I hope you’re having a good time.”

  “Oh, I am!”

  John lays a hand on the small of my back to keep me from falling over. “It was a nice ceremony, Coach.”

  “Thank you.”

  “How does it feel having Junior in the family?”

  “Eh…” Cary winces with feigned disappointment before flashing a smile across the dance floor toward Junior. “He makes my daughter happy. I can’t complain — not that she’d let me, anyway.”

  John laughs. “Sounds good enough.”

  Cary pats his shoulder again. “Find me before you leave. I want to hear about your plans for after graduation. I can make some calls for you. Just say the word.”

  “Will do, Coach. Thanks.”

  With a quick wink at me, Cary Pierce takes off into the crowd, his head towering over everyone else.

  John steps into my line of sight. “You okay, Rose?” he teases.

  I take a shallow breath. “Yep.”

  “Are you gonna throw up?”

  “Nope.”

  “Are you gonna faint?”

  “Maybe.”

  He wraps an arm around my waist. “Just breathe...”

  “Okay.” I lean into his grip and he chuckles, his breath tickling my cheek.

  “Now, where was I?” he asks, his finger trailing down my arm.

  “You…” I say, taking a quick step away, “were going to go grab me a drink.”

  He nods. “I can do that.”

  I watch him leave, grinning to myself as he makes his way toward the open bar set up across the room.

  Maybe I’m just seeing the world through rose-tinted wedding lenses, but I honestly can’t shake the joy burrowing its way through my gut.

  John Kirby. Now, I’m definitely sure that no one else knows him like I do. He’s not like the rest of them at all.

  “Mind if I cut in, sweetheart?”

  I cringe as a strong hand wraps around my waist, pulling me in until I’m pressed hard against a wide chest. He snatches my hand to keep me in place, and I lean away from him as his thick body spray invades my nose.

  “Douglas,” I say to him. “Let go of me.”

  He keeps his firm grip. “So, it all makes sense now…”

  “What does?”

  “Why you wouldn’t go out with me again.”

  I lean back. “I wouldn’t go out with you again because you’re an asshole, Douglas.”

  “So, you’re the little birdie whispering sweet nothings into John Kirby’s ear at night.” He shakes his head at me, amused. “No wonder he leaves parties all by himself nowadays.”

  I feel a rush of pride. Hearing about John’s loyalty from a second-hand source certainly settles any butterflies I may have had about it.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie. “He’s in my chemistry class. We’re just good friends.”

  “If you’re such good friends, then he must have told you all about the challenge he and I have, right?”

  I pause. “What challenge?”

  “The trifecta,” he says, studying my falling face. “Oh, come on. You know about it. Senior year. Gotta sleep with a freshman, an alumnus… and a teacher. Guess which one you are.”

  “Let go of me.”

  “Though, I guess you do qualify for two…”

  “Let go of me.”

  I try to tug free of his grasp, but he squeezes me a little tighter.

  “Don’t believe me?” He leans closer with his smiling eyes pointing over my shoulder. “Ask him yourself.”

  “Let her go, Douglas.”

  He loosens his grip on me, and I turn around to see John towering over my shoulder. He grips my elbow and pulls me out of Douglas’ hands, drawing the eyes of several others around us.

  “Calm down, Kirby,” Douglas says. “Rose and I were just catching up. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

  “I don’t give a shit what you were doing,” John says, stepping closer to him. “Stay away from her.”

  “It’s too late, man.” He chuckles. “I already told her.”

  John looks at me, the anger in his eyes quickly overwhelmed with shame.

  My gut lurches.

  “Rose.”

  “Is it true?”

  He extends a hand to me, but I take a quick step back. “Rose—”

  “Don’t touch me. Is it true?”

  “Yes,” Douglas answers. “It’s true.”

  John points at him. “Shut up.”

  A rock grows in my throat. No, it can’t be true. John was different.

  Wasn’t he?

  “Rose, don’t listen to him,” he says.

  Douglas shakes his head. “A little honesty goes a long way, John. I mean, she probably told you all about how we dated, didn’t you, sweetheart?”

  John pauses, his expression somewhere between anger and confusion as he looks at me. “What?”

  Douglas laughs again as nausea slams me down.

  “Excuse me,” I whisper, walking backward. “I can’t be here anymore.”

  “Rose.”

  I ignore him, beelining through the crowd back to our table for my purse before bolting toward the door.

  Maybe John Kirby is just like the rest of them after all.

  CHAPTER 27

  JOHN

  “Rose!”

  Douglas chuckles behind me. “Now, that was fun.”

  My hands roll into fists. “What did you say?”

  “Oh, come on.” He scoffs. “Don’t tell me you actually liked her. She was a fucking prude. You should be thanking me.”

  “Excuse me?”

  A hard palm touches my chest.

  “Not here, John,” Junior says.

  I scan the ballroom, locking eyes with everyone standing around us as they watch in suspense.

  Junior puts a little more pressure on me to draw me away from Douglas. “Come on,” he says, calmly sliding between us.

  Douglas smirks at me as I turn away. “Tell me, Kirby, does she still have those cute freckles on her inner thigh?”

  I spin back around, ready to beat him to death with his own legs, but a burst of white darts out in front of me.

  Alyssa blocks my path and points a finger at Douglas. “Get out,” she says. “Now.”

  He scoffs at her, but his smirk fades as he looks up at the rest of the team closing in around us to back her up — Cary Pierce included.

  “Fine,” he slurs and turns back to his table. “Sam, let’s go.”

  Samantha glances up from her phone. “Nah, I’m good,” she says.

  He sighs and marches off alone, keeping his distance from me as he walks out of the ballroom.

  Junior lets go of me as soon as he’s out of sight. “You okay?”

  “Not really,” I mutter. “Sorry about this.”

  He pats my shoulder, smoothing out a wrinkle before heading back to Alyssa. Luckily, she doesn’t seem too pissed off about the whole thing and offers me a reassuring head nod. Junior looks at her with pride and kisses her cheek.

  Alyssa and Junior. Still setting relationship goals for the rest of us.

  I look for Rose, but she sure as hell isn’t here anymore.

  Dodging stares, I bolt out of the ballroom into the foyer. Still no sign of her.

  One minute. That’s all I need. Just one minute to explain this whole thing and she’ll understand. I know she will.

  I step outside and wave at a valet standing by the door. “Have you seen a girl? Blonde hair, blue dress? Glasses?”

  He points down the drive and there she is, walking alone toward the road.

  Shit.

  I sprint down the long driveway, each step bringing me closer to her, but the darkness in my gut expands with each step I take.

  “Rose!”

  She keeps her head down and walks faster.

  “Rose!”

  I finally catch up to her, but she doesn’t break her stride.

  “Go back inside, John,” she says, looking forward.

  “Rose, where are you going?”

  “I’m going home.”

  “Let me drive you.”

  “Taxi’s on the way.”

  I swing in front of her to block her path. “Rose, please talk to me.”

  “About what?” She looks up at me, her eyes full of tears and smeared make-up. “Be specific.”

  I cringe as she throws my words back at me. “Don’t do that.”

  “I want you to say it,” she says. “I want you to tell me, in very specific detail—”

  “Rose, stop it.”

  “No, I want to know. Are you still banging the other two as well?”

  “I didn’t complete the challenge,” I say. “I backed out in October.”

  “October?” she repeats. “So, what the hell was September? Did you get bonus points each time you fucked me?”

  “No, it wasn’t like that.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “It wasn’t,” I say again. “Okay, yes. The reason I pursued you at first was for the trifecta, but—”

  “Get out of my way,” she says, stepping forward.

  I don’t move. “But after that first night together, I fell for you.”

  “Do you really expect me to believe that?”

  “It’s the truth, Rose.”

  She laughs. “I don’t know you at all, do I?”

  “You do. More than anybody, you do.”

  “For some reason, I highly doubt that.”

  I grit my teeth. “You don’t have a lot to stand on here, Rose. You lied to me, too.”

  She frowns. “Excuse me?”

  “I asked you — point blank — if you knew Douglas and you said no.”

  “Of course I did,” she says, wiping a stray tear away. “That’s what you do when you try to erase someone from your life. You deny their existence. Isn’t that what guys like you do?”

  I pause. “What are you talking about?”

  “You know why I’d only almost done it once, John? Because that was enough for me to know how shitty guys like you can be.”

  “Rose—”

  “Douglas pursued me for weeks, just like you,” she says. “He was kind to me. He stood up for me. He did everything a good guy does, just like you. If I didn’t sleep with you, would you have treated me like dirt, too?”

  “No.” My heart breaks. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “But you’ve done it before, right?” Her lip quivers. “Just to some other girl?”

  My face falls, barely able to look at her. “Rose…”

  “We’re done, John.”

  “No, we’re not.”

  “Yes, we are.”

  “No, we’re not, Rose.” She tries to spin around me, but I jut out in front. “You’re pissed and you have every right to be, but this isn’t over. It can’t be over.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I love you.”

  She exhales hard, pausing for only a moment. Then she waves at the street, signaling to the incoming taxi to stop.

  I step forward. “Rose.”

  “Stay away from me,” she says.

  “I said I love you.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, desperate. “I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

  “Did you ever want me to find out?” she asks.

  I hesitate.

  “Actually, don’t answer that,” she says. “I really don’t want to know.”

  I stay in place as she throws open the back door of the taxi. “Rose, I’m sorry.”

  She ignores me, leaning forward in her seat with her head in her hands as the car rolls away.

  Fuck.

  I charge up the stairs two at a time.

  One minute. I just need one more minute to explain all of this, and she’ll understand.

  Maybe two.

  “Rose!”

  I knock on her apartment door and lean on the frame to pause and catch my breath.

  Come on, Rose.

  I lay my ear against the door, listening closely for any movement. She could easily pretend not to be there, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can feel her in there.

  I stare at the peephole, watching for that dip in brightness to give her away.

  A shadow passes over it and I smile.

  “Rose, I know you’re there. Answer the door.”

  She doesn’t move. She says nothing.

  I knock a second time.

  Rose answered the door before. It was irresistible. I’ve never forgotten how good it felt that night when the lock finally slid free and she stepped out to look for me.

  She’ll do it again. She’ll look at me with that amused annoyance on her face; arms crossed and bold. Then, I’ll kiss her and everything will be okay again.

  I step to the side and rest against the wall, out of sight of the peephole just like I did before, silently waiting while I count every breath.

  Soon, my pulse returns to its normal rhythm and the sweat dries on my brow.

  She doesn’t answer the door.

  CHAPTER 28

  ROSE

  Rock bottom. That’s what this is.

  No amount of pep-talk from Daisy could prepare me for how awkward and horrible this week has been.

  Just ignore him. Forget about him. You’re the queen, and he’s just a pathetic bee. He doesn’t matter.

  Ignoring John Kirby would be a lot easier if he didn’t sit in the front row of my fucking class. He’s always there, watching me with squinting eyes, following every move I make, listening to every word I say. Every time I think I’ve mastered the art of forgetting he’s there, my eyes gravitate toward him again and everything that’s happened comes right back to the forefront of my mind.

  Chemistry, Rose. Stick to the chemistry.

  “And as we remember, if the number of electrons is more than the number of protons in the nucleus… the atom becomes negatively charged.”

  John chuckles softly to himself.

  I turn away from him, trying hard to ignore it but my tongue moves on its own. “Is there something you’d like to add, Mr. Kirby?” I ask him.

  He shrugs. “An entire atom changed because of a few negative charges. Just seems a little unreasonable to me.”

  The class snickers.

  I stare at John. “Well, it’s not unreasonable at all, actually. One spare electron is all it takes to alter the state of an atom.”

  “Sounds like the protons should just get over it.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah, I think that would make the atoms very happy.”

  “No, I think that would only teach electrons that their negative charges are acceptable behavior.”

  He throws up his hands. “Maybe an atom deserves a second chance sometimes. One spare electron isn’t the end of the world.”

  “Well, you’re wrong.”

  He scoffs. “I disagree.”

  “Science doesn’t care if you agree, Mr. Kirby.”

  “Science changes every day, Ms. Hawthorne! I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little further experimentation before making a huge mistake.”

  I grit my teeth. “Maybe experimentation got the atoms into this situation in the first place!”

  “Ms. Hawthorne.”

  Dr. Zach rises from his seat by the door. I cringe, falling silent. John does the same.

  “Class dismissed.”

  The class pauses for a long moment before finally standing up from the chairs, moving fast to get out of here as quickly as possible, John included. I keep my head down, too ashamed to even look at them until the rustling of feet finally stops.