“Shit, dude, I don’t know.” She shrugs. “If you’re as smart as she claims you are, you’ll find some other way to get her attention and fix this. Make it right. And fast. There’s only so many tears a girl can shed before her petals wither and she dies of thirst.”

  “I thought we were done with the flower metaphor.”

  She cringes. “Once I start, it’s kinda hard to stop.”

  I nod. “You really think she’ll forgive me?”

  “It’s what I’d do,” she says. “But you know. Rose.”

  “Yeah.” The guilt in me burns. “Rose.”

  Daisy inhales, then exhales hard. “I like you, halfback. You’re funny, oddly charming, and smoking hot.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But Rose needs more than that. She deserves more.”

  “I agree.”

  “So…” She spins around and yanks the door open. “Be more.”

  “Thanks, Daisy.”

  “Oh, don’t thank me,” she says, raising a brow. “I was never even here.”

  I chuckle, understanding her meaning.

  She gives a final nod before disappearing into the hallway, her boots thumping down the stairs.

  Rose deserves more. You’re damn right she does. Rose deserves the fucking universe handed to her on a golden platter, but I really am just an asshole frat guy. Always have been. I don’t deserve her. I never did, but I took what I wanted. Damn the consequences.

  I do not know how to fix this.

  Get her attention? How? A banana sure as hell won’t work this time — not that I can get close enough to give her one now.

  But if I know Rose Hawthorne — and I do — then there’s only one place she’ll be Saturday afternoon.

  I have one shot at this. She’ll be watching, along with the rest of the college football lovers of the world.

  Might as well show them what I got.

  CHAPTER 30

  ROSE

  Daisy and I arrive at the football stadium for the final game.

  Honestly, I have a little trouble even being here. I’m torn in two. On the one hand, there’s the love of the game. On the other, there’s the hatred of the player. But Daisy, of all people, insisted we show up. I guess she’s right. John’s already ruined enough for me already. I can’t let him ruin football, too.

  “You know what you need?” she asks as we sit down in the bleachers. “A vacation.”

  “Ya think?”

  “Seriously. You should come to Boston with me. A little east coast will do you some good.”

  “I have to finish up the semester.”

  “Fine. Winter break, then.”

  “East coast winter sucks.”

  She exaggerates an exhale. “Okay. How about spring break?”

  I nod. “That might be good.”

  “Oh, it’ll be good,” she says, throwing her arm over my shoulder. “Because spring is college baseball season.”

  “You set me up for that, didn’t you?”

  “We’ll go to every game and eat our weight in hot dogs. Maybe get a second baseman or two in our dugouts.”

  “Gross.”

  “You’ll love it and it’ll make us even for this.”

  I roll my eyes. “It was your idea to come today.”

  “A little closure is a good thing, Rose.” She lays a palm on her chest. “I’m just trying to help.”

  “I guess.”

  “Hello, Rose.”

  I hear my name in a familiar voice, and my stomach turns.

  I definitely should not have come here today.

  Dr. Payton Zach stands over me, his eyes shifting between me and my twin as he smiles politely.

  “Hey, Dr. Zach,” I say. “You remember my sister, Daisy.”

  Daisy keeps her dark eyes on him as if she’s memorizing his features for a collection of voodoo dolls.

  “Of course,” he says, giving her an uncomfortable nod. “Daisy, it’s nice to see you again.”

  She says nothing.

  He clears his throat and looks at me instead. “May I speak with you privately for a moment?”

  “Okay.”

  Daisy pats my knee in support as I stand up. I follow Dr. Zach to the edge of the bleachers.

  I cross my arms, bracing myself. “What’s up?” I ask.

  He fidgets. “You are an excellent student.”

  I nod. “Thanks.”

  “One of the best, really,” he continues. “And a terrific TA.”

  I stare at him, feeling a little worse than before. “Yeah, I was.”

  “Right. Was. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I, uh…” His throat clears again. “After a few days of reflection, I have realized that I may have been a little too hasty in my decision to let you go,” he says. “Suspending you from teaching was the wrong move, and I apologize.”

  “Really?”

  “I want to offer you your TA position back. You can start again on Monday.”

  “Seriously?” I ask, a weight lifting off me. “But… what about John?”

  “You know, that’s really none of my business.” He chuckles. “Don’t worry about it.”

  “But…” I pause. “Are you sure? I mean… we disrupted class in front of the new department head.”

  “I know. Like I said, don’t worry about it. I’ve already talked to him. It’s all cleared up.”

  “He’s a student,” I say, still very confused. “I’m his teacher—”

  “People make mistakes.”

  I flinch as his voice breaks. “Okay.”

  “Anyway, I’ll see you on Monday.”

  He spins around and rushes off, bouncing down the bleachers to get away from me.

  “Okay. Thank you, Dr. Zach,” I say to no one.

  Well, that was weird.

  I return to Daisy, her eyes wide and expectant.

  “What did he want?” she asks, ready to pounce.

  For the first time in days, I smile. “He offered me my job back.”

  “No shit?”

  I nod.

  “See?” She wraps her arm around me again. “And you didn’t want to come here today.”

  I sit in shock as Daisy lists off a few more things we can do over spring break while I watch the field.

  Soon, the bleachers fill up. Northies new and old pound their feet, eager and demanding, waiting for the game of a lifetime to begin.

  The team rushes the field. My chest clenches.

  I spot his jersey as the crowd cries out his name.

  John Kirby.

  Why haven’t you disappeared yet?

  CHAPTER 31

  JOHN

  The final game.

  This was supposed to be our year.

  We put in the work. We paid our dues. We lost last year, but we fought our way back to the top again. Today, we were supposed to take our places as college football royalty.

  Sorry, guys.

  “Hike!”

  The center snaps the ball into Junior’s fingers as he spins around. I make myself available, rushing forward, and he slides it into my outstretched hands.

  Then, I twist and slam myself into the first defensive lineman I see.

  Ouch.

  My team pats me on the back as I stand back up. It was just one mistake. One misstep at the start of a stressful game. I take the failure in stride and set myself up for another one.

  “Hike!”

  I can’t make it too obvious. If I do, they’ll take me out of the game. This won’t work unless Rose sees it.

  She’s here. She has to be.

  Junior tosses me the ball again and I take off, traveling less than a yard before I let the cornerback knock me to my knees.

  Another bad play. Another chance at unattainable redemption.

  “Hike!”

  Junior’s giving me another shot at this play, but I see the hesitation in his eyes as he watches me cradle the ball in my elbow. I fire to the left, playing up the enthusiasm before spinning directly into the outstretched arms of a linebacker. He drags me down to the turf with him. The other team celebrates his wonderful play while I cough the air out of my lungs.

  Junior calls a time-out and extends his hand to me to pull me off my back. That last hit almost took the wind out of me, but I take a few deep breaths to prepare for my next willing tackle.

  Junior steps closer, close enough for our helmets to touch, and I hear him over the crowd turning on us. “What’s going on, buddy? You okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I wheeze.

  “No, you’re not. You’re taking this beat down on purpose. What’s going on?” he asks again.

  I inhale until I can’t anymore. “We have to lose.”

  “We have to what?”

  “We have to lose.”

  “Why?”

  I look at the crowd, searching for her in a sea of angry, painted face. “She’s here.” I nod. “I can feel it. She’s out there.”

  “Who?”

  “Rose.”

  “The girl from the wedding?”

  “Yes, her.”

  “Wait a second. I know what this is!” He points at me. “You’re gesturing right now, aren’t you? This is a love gesture.”

  “Rose lost everything because of me and that stupid challenge, man,” I say. “It’s only fair that I lose everything, too.”

  “John.” Junior slaps my shoulder pad. “I get it. I do. I don’t like it. But I get it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But, for the love of God, can you please advance a few yards for me?”

  I dig my cleats into the turf. “Nope.”

  “John.”

  “No! We have to lose. It’s the only way I can prove that I really love her. She’s my obsession. I have to show her she’s the only woman in the whole world for me. It’s just like Alyssa said.”

  Junior blinks. “Alyssa put you up to this? My Alyssa?”

  “No, I put me up to this. It’s for the greater good.”

  He sighs. “You realize this is our last shot, right, John?”

  I nod. “I do.”

  “This is our final game,” he says. “Senior year. Scouts watching. Championship qualifier. The night that makes or breaks our chances at playing pro.”

  “I know,” I say. “But it’s worth it.”

  “You really love her.”

  “Yeah,” I say. “She’s my Alyssa Pierce, man.”

  “Dammit.” His head drops for a moment. “Okay.”

  I tilt my head as he walks away, confused by his reaction. He huddles us up and tells the wide receivers to get ready.

  The clock resumes and we take position on the line.

  “Hike!”

  The center snaps the ball to Junior, and he pulls back, readying his arm for a hard throw down the field toward Ty. He launches it, but the ball veers embarrassingly off course. Ty can’t catch up to it before it hits the ground.

  The crowd boos and their stomping feet shake the earth beneath us.

  Junior turns to me and nods with understanding.

  CHAPTER 32

  ROSE

  It’s a train wreck.

  Three minutes into the second quarter and we’re sitting at zero points. I can’t even bring myself to look at the scoreboard to see badly the visiting team is dominating us.

  I’m too busy watching John accidentally fumble the ball. Luckily, our tight end falls fast to the ground to take it back before the defense can get their hands on it.

  “Man, your boy’s playing like shit,” Daisy says with a laugh. “At least you know he didn’t rebound with a little natural performance enhancer last night.”

  I glare at her.

  “What?” she asks. “Does that not help?”

  John darts forward on the field, knocking shoulder pads with his own offensive line straight into the other team.

  What is he doing?

  I shake my head as the boos around me cry out even louder. “This isn’t your normal off day playing, Daisy,” I say.

  “Then what is it?” she asks.

  I consider the alternatives, but nothing else makes sense. “He’s doing it on purpose.”

  “Why?”

  “Even Junior is making bad plays.”

  “The hunky quarterback?” she asks, suddenly interested in football again.

  “Yeah.” I push onto the tips of my toes to see better. “What the hell is he doing?”

  “Uh-oh.”

  I look at Daisy. “What?”

  She winces. “I might know what he’s doing. Kinda. Maybe. Probably.”

  I stand still, waiting for her to say something more, but she just bites her lip. “Well, what is he doing?” I ask.

  “He’s…”

  “What, Daisy?”

  “He’s getting your attention.”

  “My attention?”

  “You weren’t returning his calls or texts!” she says, the words tumbling out fast. “So I told him to find some other way of getting your attention. I guess he figured sabotaging the game would be the best way to go about it.”

  “You told him?” I repeat. “When did you even talk to him?”

  “The other night when I swung by the Delta Xi house.”

  My jaw drops. “What?!”

  “I now understand why you don’t go there.” She wrinkles her nose. “Not classy.”

  “When did you swing by the Delta Xi house?”

  “After the second time you passed out from crying. He and I had a pleasant chat, but I didn’t tell him to do this. No, this he came up with on his own.” She frowns. “Starting to really like the guy.”

  “Why?!”

  “Well, you were right. He is smart.”

  “No! Why would you even talk to him?!”

  “Because you were passed out from crying,” she says. “Because you’re madly in love with him. Because he’s madly in love with you. Because I got bored waiting for your dumbass to wake up again. Take your pick.”

  “He is not in love with me,” I say. “He’s in love with himself.”

  “I’m pretty sure he’s both, actually. Also…” She gestures to the field. “I’d like to submit Exhibit A as evidence of his affection for you. He sure as hell isn’t getting slammed repeatedly for his own funsies. He knows you’ll notice.”

  I stare at the gridiron, letting the argument sink in as the game resumes. The teams take their positions across the forty-yard line. Instead of passing the ball back to John or another running back, Junior launches himself straight into the linebackers in front of him.

  The crowd heaves with frustration.

  “Is this really my fault?” I ask.

  Daisy shrugs. “Probably.”

  I wince. “Ah, crap.”

  John is sabotaging his future because I wouldn’t listen to him. I couldn’t bring myself to give him a second chance because my damn safety bubble felt just a little more secure than his arms.

  I stand up from my seat.

  “Where are you going?” Daisy asks.

  “Uh…” Panic rocks my chest. “I’m answering the door.”

  She squints. “Huh?”

  I sidle down the row, constantly knocking knees on my way. People glare at me while I do my best to mumble off apologies as Daisy shouts after me.

  I ignore it. I ignore all of it. It’s what John would do, isn’t it? He’d just keep taking every sack and every tackle because getting through to me is more important than winning a damn football game.

  “John!”

  I jump off the bleachers, nearly slipping to my knees as I stumble toward the sidelines.

  “John!”

  He can’t hear me. I can hardly even hear myself over the hellish screams surrounding the stadium.

  I have to get his attention, but I’m not crazy enough to rush the field during a game.

  I take off around the field, keeping on the sidelines all the way to the end zone. Adrenaline rattles my veins, pumping through me faster than I can run, but I keep moving past anyone who would try to stop me.

  I halt behind the end zone facing the offensive line, my chest heaving as I wave my arms in the air.

  “Johnny!”

  I jump. I scream. I say his name over and over again until my throat burns.

  And then, I hear it. The slow-growing chant behind me.

  “Johnny! Johnny! Johnny!”

  I turn around and there’s Daisy, riling up the sports fans, coaching them to shout together and they start stomping their feet in unison. The chant spreads, pitching louder until it’s all I can hear over the pounding in my chest.

  I spin back and instantly focus on John down the field.

  He’s looking right at me.

  As the teams get into position along the line of scrimmage, he nudges Junior’s shoulder and points to the end zone.

  “Hike!”

  Junior hands the ball off to John, and he takes off like a bullet in my direction.

  He slips through the defensive line without even stumbling. They dive at him but John dodges them easily, pumping his arms to take him faster down the field.

  He goes all the way, charging right into the end zone in front of me to score a touchdown.

  The stadium explodes from all sides, but John doesn’t care. He doesn’t stop to dance and show off like he usually does. The ball slips from his fingers and he tears his helmet off.

  I throw my arms around him. Our lips lock as he picks me up, embracing me. We kiss hard and fast, fighting through the lack of air in our lungs as the ground buzzes beneath us.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I ask, tears forming in my eyes.

  He lowers me down to my feet. “You were right,” he says. “This isn’t fair. None of this is fair.”

  “Is that why you’re losing?”

  “If you lose everything, then I lose everything. That’s the way it should be.”

  “John—”

  “I love you, Rose. I met you and I saw a future beyond tomorrow or even next year. I saw you and me.” He cups my face, smiling. “You make me better. A better student, a better athlete. A better man. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to you — starting with this.”

  “I love you, too, John.”

  I kiss him and he holds me.

  “And I’m sorry,” I add. “I should have told you about Douglas. I don’t know why I lied.”