“You didn’t report him.”

  “Because... I was worried that I’d encouraged him to think that something was building between us. We spent a lot of our free time together.”

  Yeah.

  “And I told you about every bit of it, Seth. You were my husband. I was deeply in love with you in spite of our differences, and while we weren’t seeing eye to eye for the first time in our marriage, I never ever thought we’d end...”

  He couldn’t go there. He was still back a pace or two.

  “I asked you if you pushed him away, and you said no.”

  “I...didn’t. I...turned my head and he kissed my cheek, which is what I told you. He was my friend. I didn’t want to hurt him.”

  Yeah, that was right. He remembered her saying those words. And had been deeply offended that she hadn’t wanted to hurt the Brian guy who’d popped up halfway around the world, but she hadn’t seemed to worry about hurting Seth who’d been at home waiting for her.

  “My lips never touched his, Seth. I told you that. And as I recall, that’s when you told me about Deirdra.”

  Right. Deirdra Livingston. That was her name. She’d been a JAG attorney, too, newly assigned to San Diego. They’d worked a couple of tough cases together. Had gotten to talking...and with both of them having no family to go home to, had gotten into the habit of dining out together.

  A lot.

  He’d kissed her once. Just leaning in for the cheek, a friendly peck at her ear one night, but she’d turned at the last minute and their lips had touched. For a split second.

  Things had been so confusingly wrong between him and Annie, for the first time in all the years they’d been together. They’d had disagreements. Fights even. But there’d always been the underlying sense that all was well.

  Until that deployment. Her ability to handle a gun so well. Her acceptance of an offer to take military police training.

  Her special assignment to get information out of a group of women who’d been deemed enemies and were being held onboard a ship...

  He’d been losing her for months and hadn’t been able to do a damned thing about it. And Deirdra, she’d been like him, working in his field, not wanting to run off and put herself in the line of fire.

  “You sounded so happy, doing what you were doing. Confident and...for the first time you had a real passion for something other than...” Him. And their marriage.

  “So you thought you’d find a woman who put you first?” For the first time he heard bitterness creep into her tone.

  “No, Annie. Until you just said her name, I was having a hard time remembering her,” he said, fully aware that the words did nothing to put him in a better light. “I didn’t have a solution. That was part of the problem. I couldn’t see a way for it to work. And I was afraid. I was watching what I wanted most, our life together, slip away and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I couldn’t hide from you how much I worried after you took that assignment. How much it bothered me, you being in danger.

  “Every time we talked, you’d rush to reassure me that you were fine. It was like I was a kid and you were mothering me. I hated that. And yet, I woke up every morning with a sense of dread. Any day I could get that call... And all of that was happening with me thinking it was only for a short time. Our relationship...it wasn’t me helping you and you helping me. It was me being a drain on you and you being a drain on me. When I could tell myself it was only for a while, I figured we’d get through it. Then, when you started to talk about the fact that you’d finally found your calling, that you wanted to go into law enforcement as soon you got home and were discharged from the navy, no matter what I said, you didn’t change your mind. You couldn’t. And... I couldn’t just turn off all of the dread that raised in me...”

  He saw her nod.

  And knew that, whether she’d been there when he’d returned home the next day after he’d stormed out on her, whether he’d helped her through school or not, they still would have ended up as they had.

  Apart.

  Despair crept over him anew.

  What was he doing there?

  What were they doing?

  He needed to go.

  Sitting there, reliving moments he’d thought far behind him...

  A beer was in order. Followed by a trip to the gym. It was open twenty-four hours.

  He wanted to crawl on the couch and pull his pregnant ex-wife into his arms, holding her and their babies and never letting go.

  Instead, he sat unmoving, alone in his chair.

  Being there for her.

  Because he loved her.

  * * *

  Annie fell asleep. And slept well. At some point she was aware of movement down by her feet, needing to scoot over to make room for Seth’s legs, but she fell back to sleep without questioning his presence on the other end of the couch. Made better sense for him to lie down, too. Felt good, having him there. Snuggly and secure.

  When she awoke again the sun was shining through the still-drawn curtain and Seth was gone. His calves weren’t sharing space with hers. His head wasn’t propped against the end of the couch. The space he’d occupied was empty.

  The house was silent.

  Saddest part was, she wasn’t all that surprised. The first time he’d disappeared on her, she’d been shocked. Scared. Hadn’t had any idea how to cope.

  That first time his disappearance had been figurative. She’d been thousands of miles from home. Had called him, excited to tell him that she’d finally figured out who she wanted to be when she grew up—that she’d finally grown up. She’d been expecting him to be proud of her—after all, he came from a law enforcement family and she’d be carrying on the tradition—and instead, he’d frowned at her through the computer screen, thrown up half a dozen reasons why it wasn’t a good idea. Several times. Over the course of multiple conversations. He hadn’t even wanted to discuss possibilities, let alone get the local college information she’d asked for.

  He hadn’t offered any support at all.

  To the contrary, he’d tried to convince her that the person she’d discovered inside herself wasn’t welcome.

  Throwing off the comforter, she thought about how Seth had come for her the night before. About how well she’d slept. And was thankful that he’d been there.

  While acknowledging that his departure reinforced her certainty that there was no future for the two of them.

  She hadn’t changed her mind on that, in any case. But reinforcement was a good deterrent to falling by the wayside and getting hurt again.

  Or allowing her children to suffer the same.

  If Seth was going to be in their lives, she’d have to keep it casual—not let him play a role where they’d count on him for things.

  She started down the hall with her arms filled with bedding.

  “Sorry, did I wake you?” His voice came out of nowhere. Annie jerked in surprise.

  “I was doing my best not to make a sound.” He lifted the bedding away from her. Giving her a clear vision of his wet hair. And bare feet.

  “I thought you’d left.” There it was. Her lack of trust just starkly out there.

  If he was fazed by it, he didn’t let it show. His expression friendly and neutral, he said, “I was about to go get some coffee...”

  So they weren’t going to deal with it, the talk they’d had the night before, or any ramifications that came from it.

  But really, why would they? Their past didn’t have anything to do with the babies that had them currently in the same sphere.

  “We’ve got about an hour before we have to leave for the clinic,” he said, his voice slightly muffled as he entered his room and started making the bed.

  She watched him from the hall for a second, and then nodded. “I’ll jump in the shower now. And could you bring me back a decaffeinated pumpkin spice latte?” They were in season. And had always been a favorite. She figured, with the morning she was about to have, she could spoil herself a bit.

  Besides, she had to show up at the clinic with a full bladder. Something about having the test at fifteen weeks instead of twenty made that necessary.

  And... Seth was still there.

  Not forever.

  But he was there.

  And she was glad.

  Chapter Sixteen

  As it turned out, Seth didn’t accompany Annie back to the exam room. With the equipment and the three medical personnel required by the procedure, there hadn’t been space for him. He’d waited out in the reception area, instead, alternately trying to deal with email from his phone, sitting and staring into space, and, when the room was empty, walking around looking at wall art that he didn’t really see.

  Although the actual fluid retrieval only took a couple of minutes, they’d told him to expect Annie to be back about three-quarters of an hour later. He could have gone out and come back. Could have taken a walk. But he hadn’t even gone to the men’s room. Hadn’t wanted to be out of earshot for even a second...just in case.

  Afterward, his diligence almost seemed like overkill. Annie had come through the door with a smile on her face, joking with the nurse who’d shown her out.

  She’d told him everything went fine. The needle had stung a little, but that was it. And...she’d be finding out the sex of the babies as part of the test results.

  She wasn’t experiencing any cramping, but could expect some. Could resume normal activities, though shouldn’t overexert. And no sex for a couple of days.

  She’d rattled off the instructions to him as he walked her back to the car she’d insisted on driving separately from him.

  It was as though she’d been trying to prove to him that she didn’t need him.

  He took the situation with him out to the golf course, playing solo, giving himself time to just be himself, by himself.

  By the time he’d played eighteen holes, he’d worked it out that Annie’s independence was for the best. Made it easier for him to float in and out of her life as he played a biological role. Keeping track of the kids. Making sure that there was nothing they needed or lacked.

  Maybe meeting up with them some, just so, if anything ever happened to Annie—even just a medical situation that took some recovery time—he wouldn’t be a complete stranger to them.

  Yeah. It was going to work.

  It was all going to work just fine.

  He’d put his gear in his car when he’d left her place that morning, but stopped by her house on his way to check into a hotel. Just because he was there, because he wanted to.

  And because it wasn’t hurting anyone.

  He knocked, knowing he should have called first. And fully acknowledging that he hadn’t done so because he also knew that she’d have told him not to stop by.

  She could still tell him to leave. Wouldn’t need to. He wasn’t staying.

  He just had to see her.

  One look and he’d know how she was really doing.

  Hearing her on the other side of the door, he stared straight into the peephole. Thought about throwing her a stupid grin, but the door opened before he’d gotten it done.

  “I’m heading out to dinner,” he said. “Wondered if you’d like to come along...”

  That had absolutely not been on his agenda when he’d headed up to the house from his car. He seriously hadn’t considered it on the drive over, either.

  He’d seen her and the words had come out.

  What the hell?

  She shook her head, the short blond spikes barely moving. Then asked, “Who else is going to be there?”

  He was confused until he remembered that he’d told her he’d arranged a golf weekend. “No one.”

  She shook her head again. “I’ve got no-peek chicken in the oven.”

  One of his favorites. And hers, too. Which would be why she was making it. Not because he was in town.

  “You knew I’d stop by?”

  “No.” In her dark work pants and loose shirt and short jacket, she looked every bit the cop. “But I wanted to be able to offer you something to eat in case you got in touch. To thank you for last night.”

  He remained outside. “I texted several times today. You don’t consider that getting in touch?”

  “You were checking on my condition. I told you I was—”

  “Fine.” He cut her off. If he heard “fine” from her one more time... “I’m beginning to dislike that word.”

  “It’s the truth.”

  And all that he needed to know. He got the message.

  Still didn’t like it.

  “So, does me standing here count for getting in touch enough to warrant a serving of no-peek chicken?” He looked her in the eye, deadly serious.

  She hesitated, and then pulled the door open.

  He didn’t move forward. “If you don’t want me here, or don’t think this is a good idea, just say so, Annie. I really did just stop by so I could get a look at you. If you were hurting, I’d see it on your face.”

  “I have no problem with you being here,” she said. “We just need to be careful to not let our history get in the way of the present so that, if the occasion arises, we can be together without tension in front of the kids. And we’d probably be well suited to get some practice at it before they get here...”

  She had it all worked out.

  He wasn’t as pleased with that knowledge as he should have been. Wasn’t at all grateful to her for figuring it out for them.

  But he stepped inside.

  And was glad to be there.

  * * *

  “You really don’t have to hang around town until Saturday,” Annie told Seth an hour later. They’d had dinner and then he’d insisted on helping her clean up afterward. Somehow, without her being aware, they’d fallen into their old pattern of him rinsing, her loading the dishwasher, him taking out the trash, her wiping the counters...

  And when she was wiping the final counter and became aware, she became bothered.

  “If anything is wrong, it isn’t like I’ll need to make any decision immediately. They give you time to consider options.” She wouldn’t need the time. If the babies were going to suffer and die, she’d have to follow medical advice and terminate a fatal pregnancy. If not, she was having them. They were her miracles. It wasn’t up to her to decide exactly what kind of miracle they were going to be. Or how they’d contribute to the world.

  “You want me to go? Is my being here causing you more stress?” So like Seth to take it down to the nitty-gritty.

  To get right to the point.

  And when he was standing there in her kitchen, looking her right in the eye, with that soft warm look in his intent blue gaze, she couldn’t lie to him.

  “No. Having you around is...helping.”

  “Then I’ll be here.”

  She nodded. Thought about the night before when the two of them had watched TV and she’d gotten sleepy. Thought about the few small bouts of cramping she’d had—and the anxiety every time she used the restroom, afraid she was going to see spotting.

  There hadn’t been any. She had no reason to worry.

  But she couldn’t seem to lose the tension...

  “There’s no real reason for you to spend money on a hotel,” she told him. “We made it work last night, here. The room’s there...”

  She saw the sharpening in his gaze. Tensed a little more.

  Waited.

  She wasn’t going to put any pressure on him. She didn’t want him there out of guilt. It had to be comfortable on both sides. Or not at all.

  They weren’t a couple anymore. Didn’t have to worry about putting the other first.

  “You sure you’re okay?” He was clearly assessing her as he asked the question.

  With the words “I’m fine” on the tip of her tongue, Annie nodded, instead. And said, “I’m just...tense, you know? It’s two days of wondering if tragedy is going to strike. You’re thankful for each second that passes safely, and then worried about the second that’s coming and...”

  “I’m good to stay.” He jumped in when her words drifted off.

  She wanted him to take her into his arms. To hold her close within his strength and make her world right again.

  To kiss her until she couldn’t think straight.

  And settled for leading the way back to the remote control in the living room.

  * * *

  She’d chosen the documentary because it was a legal case involving insider trading and multiple court systems. It was something that would interest them both without hitting anywhere near close to home for either.

  She hadn’t counted on the main perpetrator getting a divorce, and, after his remarriage, having his ex-wife turn on him. He’d thought he was safe as the woman had to incriminate herself to get him. He hadn’t figured on the emotions that sank someone when the person she’d thought to be hers for life suddenly belonged to another.

  It was just a show. Not her life. Was someone else’s journey. Nothing to do with her. She was the woman who upheld the law, who was sitting on her own couch without cramps or any sign of leakage. The woman whose babies had both been visible and moving inside her that morning. She’d heard both heartbeats. One still stronger than the other, but both there.

  She was the woman who was going to know in just two short days if she was having sons, daughters, or one of each.

  She was the woman whose ex-husband was seated in the chair just a few feet away. The one who’d remarried after their divorce.

  The documentary ended. She wasn’t worried about spotting at the moment. She also wasn’t ready for bed.

  “What’s wrong?” He was looking at her. She was staring at the streaming service. Picked up the remote and started scrolling, looking for something lighthearted to watch.