The part she hadn’t yet processed at all. The baby was alive. Had a healthy heartbeat. The rest of what had been said in her meeting with Dr. Miller after the ultrasound...she was only letting it seep in slowly. A bit at a time. It was how she kept panic at bay. A thirty-eight-year-old police lieutenant, soon to be a single parent, couldn’t afford panic.

  “With implantation there are things they watch for, in particular. One is the size of the baby...they need to know that it’s getting the proper amount of nutrients for healthy development...” She repeated what Dr. Miller had told her almost verbatim. And tried to ignore the tightening in her throat and chest. She would not cry. Nor was she going to borrow trouble from the future, when it might not even exist to borrow from. Everything might be just fine.

  Seth’s silence didn’t deter her. She knew he’d wait to hear all the facts and then say what he had to say. “She was surprised at the thickening of my waist, and what she thought could be baby positioning. Could just be I’m eating too much, but she wanted to get the baby’s measurements, to monitor growth and determine placement in the womb.”

  “And?” he asked after she’d been silent a full thirty seconds.

  This was where it got baffling. “The baby’s position is perfectly normal. The torso, spine, and arm and leg bones measured just a tinge below average for eight weeks, which, to Dr. Miller, meant that everything’s normal there...”

  “Okay.” She could hear his tone lightening and had to cut him off.

  “She wants me to have another ultrasound.” Annie relayed the facts that had been playing with her mind ever since she left work.

  “Why?”

  “My placenta is a little enlarged. They only heard one heartbeat, but...there’s a possibility there might be a second baby behind the first. And that if it’s there, it might not be alive. That second embryo might have implanted, but not made it.” She had a healthy heartbeat. There might only be one child. No reason to mourn yet.

  “What happens then?”

  “Often times it’s reabsorbed.” She was still trying to wrap her mind around the whole concept. “And there’s also a chance, because it’s so early on, that a second baby is completely hidden, but alive. It’s rare, but possible. The technician only saw one fetus, and found only one heartbeat, though she apparently was searching for a second of both. Apparently hearing a heartbeat at all isn’t all that common with the Doppler at eight weeks. The doctor had been surprised that we got such a strong one.”

  “There might be twins?”

  Yeah. And she wanted them both. As badly as she’d wanted one. She didn’t want a second baby to reabsorb.

  He made no sound.

  “She said she could do an internal ultrasound that would be able to pick up both heartbeats, if there are two. Or I could wait and have another test like I did today...in another couple of weeks.”

  She paused, and when there was still nothing from him, just kept talking. “I asked her if there was any health risk in waiting and when she said there was not, I decided to wait. I just don’t want anything in there poking at my uterus this early on. I know it’s illogical, and not at all medically based, but as long as there’s no risk in waiting...”

  His silence was expected. And disappointing. Had she made the right choice? What did he think, damn it?

  Her disappointment was unfair.

  “Have you thought any more about guardianship? About getting the paperwork done?”

  He was there. Not engaging in her medical choice.

  But he was there.

  “I haven’t talked to Christa yet.”

  “You should do a trust, with guardianship named there. That will take care of your estate and protect your heir’s assets. I can handle it for you.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t have the energy to fight with herself about whether or not she should involve him further.

  And maybe she still needed him a little bit, too. Deep down inside where the woman who’d sworn her whole heart to him still lingered.

  “It would be best if we can sit down and go through it all. I’ll need to list all assets and designations. I’m free this weekend and could make the trip up. Get a room by the beach. I haven’t run on the beach in Marie Cove in years.”

  She hadn’t run in years, actually, getting all of her workouts in at the gym. But in the olden days, they’d run together. On the beach, and off.

  The idea of him being in Marie Cove made her heart leap. Excitement welled within her. And she knew both were wrong.

  “What are we doing here, Seth?”

  “Making a trust.”

  “Seth...”

  He didn’t answer. Reminding her of too many times in the past when silence had been his answer to the impasse that had grown between them.

  She was deciding whether or not to call him on it, to spew her fear in the form of frustration, or just tell him goodbye and hang up, leaning more toward the latter, when he said, “I don’t know my role.”

  “What?” She’d heard him. Needed him to express himself with more words. Or at least ones that made sense.

  He had no role.

  Unless...did he truly want one? Not just in her dreams, but...seriously?

  She couldn’t let hope grow. Most particularly now that she knew there really was a baby, that another human being would be affected by all of the choices she made from then on.

  And...what if there were two babies?

  “I’m not a sperm donor, Annie. I committed to something when I contributed to those embryos. Or even, I committed a part of myself when we created the embryos. I heard that heartbeat and...”

  She didn’t fill in any blanks for him. Just waited. Mostly because she had no answers to give him. And had no idea what he really wanted.

  She only knew what she hoped to have from him someday.

  It wasn’t right to ask for it, though. She’d asked for those embryos, no strings attached.

  Besides, she didn’t want to guilt him into anything.

  “We started on a plan and the plan’s coming to be, but I’ve been wiped out of the picture.”

  Only because he’d wanted it that way. Her heart rate sped up.

  “Do you want to be in the picture?”

  “No!” He sounded so certain her heart lurched. Maybe it cracked a little. “But I don’t want to be out of it, either.”

  Settling back in her chair, Annie felt like herself for the first time since she’d been in the doctor’s office and heard the word “ultrasound.” She was, ultimately, a problem solver.

  And they had a doozy.

  “What do you have to offer?” she asked him, ready to listen to him. Not just think of herself. His confusion was understandable, based on their bizarre circumstances. And there was no doubt in her mind that her child would benefit from knowing him.

  “I don’t know. We know we don’t work as husband and wife.”

  He’d get no argument from her on that one.

  “We didn’t want to bring any child into what we’d become,” he said.

  “Agreed.” Which didn’t preclude some kind of arrangement by which he was a part of the baby’s life. That, however, could only come from him.

  “I’ve got nothing,” he told her.

  “Nothing to offer?” She’d known she couldn’t get her hopes up. Funny, how hope didn’t always listen to reason.

  “No solutions,” he said. “And maybe nothing to offer, based on us, our past. I can’t be in, which means I’m out. But...for now...how about I focus on something I’m good at and get your trust set up?”

  He wanted to do it.

  She wanted him to do it. “I’d like that.”

  “And you’re good with this weekend?”

  She’d been planning to ask Christa to go to Mission Viejo, the town between Marie Cove and LA, to go nursery shopping. But her friend had called that morning and said the following week would actually work better. “Fine.”

  He was going to hang up. She knew. And said, “Seth?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Just so you know...your role...if you figure something out, I’m open to hearing about it.”

  “We can’t be who we thought we’d be when we started down this path.”

  “I know. Believe me, I feel as strongly about that as you do.”

  “Just so you know, I fully realize that it’s my fault,” he admitted. “That I’m the one who messed it up for us.”

  He hadn’t said so at the time. And it took her a second to be able to take a breath. And not to have the sound of imminent tears in her voice. “Thank you for that.”

  “But also, so you know... I’m still that same guy.”

  She nodded, and knew she had to be honest with him. “Even if you weren’t, Seth, it still wouldn’t work. I trusted you implicitly. With my life. And to have my back. To put me first. Just as I put you first. Once that kind of trust is broken, there’s no going back.”

  “I’m sorry, Annie. I never meant to hurt you. Never would have believed I could.”

  Which was part of what made it all so difficult to get over. Even a decade later. But she’d hurt him, too, by becoming someone different than she’d presented herself to be. Even if she hadn’t consciously made that choice.

  A cop with a gun at her hip? Never in a million years would she have seen that for herself when she’d joined the navy in order to get a college education in social work. She’d been scared to death of being deployed to a war zone and having to fight for her country. She’d have done it—had done it, as it turned out—but she’d never seen herself as having the strength to do it without debilitating fear. Never would have believed she’d be so good at it.

  Still...she’d expected Seth to at least try to understand. To give their marriage a chance.

  Instead she’d come home from months away to have him tell her he’d become friends with a female JAG. He hadn’t started anything with that other woman, but at the time, the distinction hadn’t mattered all that much.

  Because while Seth had been growing more and more distant with his disapproval, she’d grown close to someone else, too. Someone on deployment with her who’d watched her blossom under an unexpected assignment. Who’d cheered her on. Been proud of her newfound strengths and success...

  But that was then. In her present...she’d just heard her own baby’s heartbeat.

  “Let’s leave the past in the past,” she said. “And take the rest one day at a time.” Because the pregnancy was one day at a time. Every night when she went to bed, she celebrated another day of keeping the baby inside her. “I just wanted you to know that, as far as the baby goes, I’m not opposed to considering options if you have a way you want to be...involved.”

  “I’m already involved, Annie,” he said, his tone a mixture of frustration and...was that conciliation? “I created those embryos with the full intention of being a father. I didn’t realize the ramification of that until all of this. Probably still haven’t fully realized it, but that heartbeat...”

  “Yeah. It’s pretty cool, huh?”

  “Better than cool. You’re sure you’re feeling okay?”

  “I feel fine. Normal.” No sign of morning sickness and Dr. Miller had said that it wasn’t cause for worry. Some women just didn’t have any. She was fine, either way.

  Seth’s silence started to make her tense, though. “So... I’ll see you this weekend?” she asked.

  “Saturday. Midmorning. You want me to come to your office?”

  No. She still wasn’t telling anyone other than the captain and Christa. Not until she passed the first trimester, at least.

  “Come to the house. If things get too weird, we can head out to a coffee shop or something.”

  “How about if you come to my hotel? I’ll let you know where I’m staying. I’m sure there’s some alcove off the lobby or something where we’ll be able to converse privately.”

  His idea was much better.

  Safer.

  And made her sad, too.

  Hard to comprehend that it was wrong for Seth to be in her home.

  * * *

  Seth made his hotel reservation—a luxury place with private beach access—only after ascertaining that he could also reserve one of the small, glass-walled conference rooms. He had no intention of heading out to the beach with Annie or heading out alone while leaving her in their meeting space—but the idea that they were on the ocean...made the meeting seem...better. The ocean had been one of “their” things.

  The rest of the week he focused on business, getting through a record number of files for him in an effort to keep his mind so occupied there’d be no time for extraneous thought. He’d saved the video Annie had sent on his phone but didn’t access it again. And wouldn’t let himself ask questions for which he had no answers.

  The plan was one day at a time and he stuck to it.

  That created a cache of pent-up energy. Early Saturday morning he spent an extra half hour at the gym, but he was still het up with anticipation as he set off for Marie Cove. As soon as his ten o’clock meeting with Annie was over, he was planning to spend the majority of the eighty-degree-sunny October day at the beach. Running. Swimming. Maybe even renting a board and getting a little amateur surfing in. Whatever it took to fall into bed tired that night.

  Sunday morning, he’d work up the initial trust paperwork for Annie, have her look it over, and head back south to get the formal document drawn up, send it to her for notification, and be done with it.

  Done with his part in the embryo process? The growth of the baby?

  The question nagged at him as he drove, but he refused to give it enough attention to come up with a response. One day at a time.

  Having dropped his bag in his bedroom, Seth was already set up in the conference room down a series of hallways on the main floor by the time Annie arrived. He’d texted her the room number as soon as he’d checked in, and changed into brown pants and a short-sleeved off-white business shirt minus a tie, before heading to the meeting.

  He was an attorney handling business.

  And something else. But since there was no description, no apparent definition or action required of that something else, he left it alone. Determined not to let it hijack the day at hand.

  Classic case of burying his head in the sand. He got it. Accepted it. To do otherwise, to spend time letting his brain take him in circles, served no good purpose.

  And his heart...he’d learned a long time ago to expend that energy on compassionate listening with the sailors who came to him, during volunteer work at the community center, and, of course, with his father. Anything more tended to end up in hurt—his own, and others’.

  Some people were just that way.

  No way he’d ever intentionally hurt a baby. But what if the kid wanted to be something Seth never saw coming? Something that would put her in even worse danger than daily police work? Like fighting global virus terrorism or tracking down serial killers?

  Would Seth support their child on that quest?

  He was still shaking his head in response to that internal interrogation when Annie showed up in the opened doorway.

  All buisness, like him, in gray pants and a silky-looking lavender button-down, tapered short-sleeved shirt that hung just low enough to cover the belt at her waist, she didn’t hesitate when she stepped in to greet him. Standing at one side of the four-chair table, he started to reach out a hand—his typical greeting as he welcomed clients in to a meeting—but pulled back and hid the action by reaching for the papers he’d just laid out as he’d wanted them. In order of the information he needed to get from her.

  Whether she’d meant to run her fingers through her short, blond hair or was pulling back her own hand, he didn’t want to know. Those big blue eyes looked his way, their gazes locked for a second, and then it was done.

  She was nothing but professional as she sat perpendicular to him—her back to the ocean—when he’d purposely taken a side chair so that she could have the one that was full-on ocean view. She’d always loved the water as much as he had. Had drawn strength and pleasure from it.

  So her message in seat choice was that she wasn’t there for anything but work? Had plenty of strength for the task at hand?

  Or he wasn’t as in control as he’d thought and was reading too much into every little nuance, trying to squeeze far more out of seconds than actually existed within them.

  It was no surprise that Annie came prepared, though. The financials she laid out were in documented order, with a cover sheet. He looked them over, impressed.

  And he felt proud of her.

  He had an equally lucrative portfolio, but he guessed she’d had to work harder for hers. His work had been largely in an office, and he got pay grade bumps and excellent benefits just for staying in the service.

  “Those are all copies,” she told him. “You can destroy them when you’ve finished setting up the trust.”

  Taking a moment to compose his thoughts, to remember that they were together on official legal business, that she was, in essence, a client, he flipped through everything again. Then again, starting with the first asset, he went through all of them with her, clarifying where needed, making certain that he had full understanding of where everything was. Verifying that she had full ownership of all of it and had given executorship to no one else.

  “And how do you want it laid out in the trust?”

  “Everything goes to my heir,” she said, her hands in her lap as she gave a small nod. “Or heirs.”

  A jolt of energy went through him. Heirs. More than one. Because there might be two within the current situation. With his head still facing the documents on the table, he glanced up and over at her. He didn’t mean to connect over anything that could be perceived as personal, and quickly broke eye contact.