I growled, stepping under the spray of the water to wash the soap off my body, then slamming the lever that cut the water. “Toss me my towel,” I demanded, holding my hand out behind me.

  He took his time taking it off the hook and brought it to me instead of throwing it, his shoes squeaking on the wet tile.

  “Don’t touch me, dude,” I warned him, looking over my shoulder. “I swear to God, if you slap my ass I’ll kill you. It’ll be easy to clean up in here so don’t tempt me.”

  Callum dropped the towel in my waiting hand and retreated back to the doorway without a word. He wasn’t joking around. He was dead serious and that was the worst part of all of this.

  I wrapped the towel around my waist and turned to face him. “Alright, look, you need to take it easy. She just came out of a serious relationship and she’s not looking for anything heavy. Just be you. Be fun. That’s what she wants. That’s why she likes you.”

  He nodded his head, his eyes on the glistening taupe tiles at his feet. “Okay. Okay.”

  I had no idea what else to say to him, but apparently I was supposed to say something because he was blocking the exit. He stood there waiting and thinking and trapping me in a shower with him and I had no idea how to get out. What was the magic phrase? I didn’t have any Fritos to throw his way to distract him so how did I get out of this?

  I cleared my throat but he didn’t look up. His face was blank, his stare turned empty. He was sad. Crestfallen.

  “You okay, Cal?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. I’m her rebound.”

  “I don’t know that for sure.”

  “But it’s what Jenna told you.”

  “Basically.”

  “Alright. Okay.” He came forward, backing me into the wall. His arms went around me and he pulled me into a hard hug. “Good talk, man. Thanks.”

  “Yup,” I choked out.

  He squeezed me extra hard once, turned, and left without another word. He left me standing there with my hands up like I’d just been mugged at gunpoint, my eyes on the ceiling, and a string of incoherent curses bursting under my breath.

  They all translated to one thing – fuck my life.

  Once I was dry and fully dressed I went outside to meet up with Jenna, Callum, and Sam. I was surprised and a little annoyed to find a gathering of groupies waiting for me. It was a practice that had started once I hit puberty and at every match they were there. Not always the same ones but they looked the same and when the lights went out they all felt the same. I was growing tired of the game even before Jenna and I got serious, but now that we were engaged and she was there at almost every event these girls were starting to piss me off.

  “Hey, Kel,” one purred as I passed.

  I walked briskly, not making eye contact. I wasn’t even trying to be nice. I cold shouldered every one of them hoping this was how you made them go away. Ignoring them and pissing them off.

  “You want to party with us tonight?”

  “You still have my number, right?”

  It was the same spiel every time. I pushed through the cloud of their perfume and out the door, into the fading sunlight where Jenna was waiting for me. She smiled at me, pretending she hadn’t noticed the unwanted entourage, but she’d seen. She knew. She’d known about them for as long as I had and she knew about my dark days when I delved in them. Reveled in them even. When I’d been young and so damn dumb that I couldn’t even see straight.

  She wove her arm around my waist, tucking herself into my side. “Are you ready to go? Amanda is meeting us there in twenty minutes.”

  “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  “Where are you guys going?” Sam asked.

  “To look at a house in Hermosa.”

  Callum shook his head. “Told ya not to do it, dude.”

  “When do I take your advice?” I asked him.

  “Do you want to go get drinks afterward?” Sam asked. “I think we’re going to a karaoke bar.”

  “Nah, it’s open mike night at the Saddle Sore,” Callum corrected.

  Jenna looked between them, confused. “You’re going to a country bar?”

  Sam shrugged. “Apparently.”

  “It’s gonna get weird,” Callum confirmed.

  I shook my head. “That sounds awful, but I think we’re gonna pass.”

  “Oh no, we’re definitely gonna pass,” Jenna countered. “You guys have fun with that.”

  Sam smiled, taking Callum’s hand. “We will.”

  He looked happy then. Not at all like the guy I’d talked to in the showers, and I realized that I wasn’t the only person who knew how to wear a mask.

  We parted ways, waving goodbye, and heading for our cars. Jenna and I jumped up into my truck and I smiled when she immediately settled in the center, pulling in close to me. She brought out her phone as I pulled out of the parking lot.

  “Okay, so tickets to Vegas in two weeks are cheap. Less than a hundred dollars apiece. Do you want me to book them now or wait until we know what hotel we’re staying at? Do we know what hotel your dad has a penthouse in?”

  “Why don’t we drive?” I suggested.

  She lowered her phone. “You want to drive to Vegas?”

  “Yeah. It’s not far. It’d take, what? Four or five hours?”

  “We could do that,” she agreed slowly.

  I glanced at her, put on alert by her tone. “What? What’s wrong with driving?”

  “You could bail,” she said bluntly. “That’s what’s wrong with it. If we drive you’re not committed to anything.”

  “You mean I’m not stranded.”

  “I mean you could leave whenever you want without doing what you set out to do.”

  “I’m going to see him, Jenna,” I told her calmly. “I said I would and I will.”

  “You don’t even know where he lives.”

  “The Palms.”

  She jolted in surprise. “You talked to him?”

  “No.” I flexed my fingers on the steering wheel, adjusting the grip. Scratching the itch. “I talked to your dad. He has all of his info. He told me where he is and I asked him to contact him if I won this bout.”

  Jenna spun her phone in her hands. “I texted my dad right after you won. He knows.”

  “Then my dad knows too. He knows we’re coming.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  I looked at her sideways, suppressing a grin. “I don’t know, Ben. How should I feel?”

  She smiled. “Shut up.”

  “I haven’t had time to figure out how I feel yet. When I do I’ll let you know.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  I wrapped my right arm around her shoulders, tucking her into my side. “I know you will.”

  When we pulled up in front of the house Amanda, our realtor, was already waiting for us. She stood tall and beautiful, ebony skin and shining hair in front of the albino nightmare behind her. The house was a cottage on the beach tucked between soaring condos on either side. There was a ramshackle fence around the front yard that was overgrown to jungle status. The white paint on the outside of the house was chipped and peeling. One window was cracked straight down the middle, the other was boarded up entirely. It was a sore thumb sticking out of the golden coast and shimmering sea behind it.

  “You two bring me to the nicest places,” Amanda said with a smile.

  We made our way to her, eyeing the place dubiously.

  “You mean this isn’t your usual sale?” I asked her.

  She snorted delicately. “Honey, I just showed a two million dollar condo this morning. This is definitely not my normal. You’re lucky I like you.”

  Amanda had been with us when we’d scouted buildings for the location of North Star Ink. Jenna had initially insisted on paying for it herself, a choice that dragged all three of us to some of the most rundown shit-shacks either of them had ever seen. It was an eye opener for her, one that made it easy to convince her to let ‘her dad’ help her finance the location. In reality it was me behind the money, money that she knew nothing about at the time.

  Now here we were again, looking at buildings well below my price range but it was what we could afford, and that was important to Jenna. Even though we were getting married and my money would be her money, she insisted on a partnership. We applied for the loan together and I wasn’t allowed to just pay for the place out of my savings with one check. It made Amanda crazy because she knew my finances. She knew what we could be looking at, but I liked Jenna’s way better. On the loan application I had listed my savings but not the money my dad deposited into my account every month. My employer was the Hermosa Beach Fire Station, Jenna’s was self-employed tattoo artist, and this was what we could afford on those salaries.

  A hot mess.

  Amanda touched the gate gingerly but still it slapped open, smacking against the fence and making it vibrate. We all watched with bated breath as it settled. Nothing collapsed, even as we breathed sighs of relief.

  “In we go,” she muttered.

  The walkway was cracked with grass and weeds sprouting between the jagged lines. Amanda’s high heels clicked perilously over them up to the porch that I noticed leaned to the right a bit. I instinctively stood under the sagging side, ready to try to support it if it decided to suddenly fall on the girls.

  With a little magic on the lockbox Amanda opened the door and stepped aside to let us in first.

  “Are you even coming inside?” Jenna asked.

  Amanda smiled. “A year ago I would have said no, but you two have made me brave. I’ll follow you in.”

  We went in single file, Jenna leading the way. The inside was dark with the window boarded up and the night coming in fast, but yellow light was bursting in from the western windows overlooking the ocean. They were open, bare of curtains or boards, and I could see the crystal clear water outside. Inside the front door opened up to a decent sized living room, a small dining room, and what looked like a kitchen around the corner nearest the water. A hallway led down the left side, planks of beaten hardwood pointing the way, and the walls were dingy but intact. A good cleaning and they’d be white again.

  “Two bedrooms, one bathroom,” Amanda recited, reading the paper in her hand. “Just over a thousand square feet. Large backyard with beach access. Updated kitchen.”

  I laughed at that one. I was standing at the edge of the kitchen and the only thing in there that wasn’t older than me was possibly a pizza box, but I couldn’t be sure. I wasn’t about to find out.

  Amanda grinned. “I know. I know. I saw the pictures. The large backyard is true, though, so you could get permits and expand. There’s a garage but I will not be going in there. No central air. Old wiring. Old pipes. Old everything, but it’s a foreclosure and it’s in your preferred neighborhood and price range, so… there you go.”

  Jenna smiled at her. “Thanks, Amanda.”

  “Happy to help. I like a challenge. And the two of you are definitely challenging.”

  “It should be our family creed,” I agreed. “Challenging.”

  “We’ll etch it in Gaelic over the front door,” Jenna chuckled.

  “Shouldn’t be hard. I’m sure the termites will help.”

  Jenna paused, looking at me seriously. “What do you think?”

  “About this place? It’s a dump.”

  “But is it our dump?”

  I laughed, looking around. The ceilings were high, I’d give it that. I was a tall guy and that extra height mattered. It made it feel less cramped. Bigger than it actually was. And when I pictured it fixed up I could see it being beautiful. I could imagine BBQing on that back patio, Jenna sketching by the later afternoon light in the extra bedroom. I could see coming home to her inside these walls. Covering them with pictures of family and friends the way they did in Ireland. I could see walking the beach with Jenna at night. Curling up on the couch in the evening. It was a blank canvas, one we could make our own with none of the markings of the past. We’d start fresh here. New and bold and unafraid. Unashamed. Untainted by everything that’d ever held us back before.

  It was ugly now but what we could build together, Jenna and I, would be breathtaking.

  “It is,” I answered her softly. “It’s our dump but we’ll make it our home.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Jenna

  “Oh my God,” Laney whispered in shock. She stared at the outside of the house in Hermosa, her face pale and her eyes wide. “You bought this place?”

  “Not yet. We put in an offer last week and they’re still considering it. It’s a foreclosure and they take forever apparently, but we’re hoping we get it.”

  “Why?”

  I laughed. “Because it’s going to be our home.”

  “Yeah, a home to you and a dozen raccoons.”

  “There are no raccoons!”

  She looked at me doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

  “No. But even if there are, there won’t be when we’re done with it. We’re going to fix it up before we move in.”

  Laney looked back at the house. “You’ll spend more fixing it up than you will buying it.”

  “Probably.”

  “This is seriously all Dickbag can afford?”

  “This is all Kellen and I can afford. And it’s fine. It’ll be fine.”

  “We’ll see.” She pointed up the street. “These condos are nice. Did you look at them?”

  “No, because we’re buying this house.”

  “Well, do what you want—“

  “I will.”

  “—but I would make sure I had all my shots before going back in that place.”

  I sighed, pulling back onto the street. “You are so supportive.”

  “I’m realistic.”

  “Where are you and Max going to live after the wedding?”

  She smiled happily. “His place. And I’ll be honest, even if he lived in a house like that I’d still move in with him just to get out of Mom and Dad’s house. They’re driving me crazy.”

  “That’s the price you pay for free room and board.”

  “Free?” she scoffed. “No. Mom has had me doing chores like I’m in high school. Dishes and laundry. I have to help her grocery shop. I don’t get the Wi-Fi password if I don’t. They change it when I get behind.”

  “Nice,” I laughed.

  “No. Not nice. Torture. I can’t wait to move in with Max.”

  “Why don’t you do it now?”

  “I basically have. I’ve brought over a ton of my clothes but he doesn’t have room for all of it. I’m going to have to store some things seasonally.”

  “He doesn’t have a spare room you can claim as a closet?”

  “No, he does. He has a spare room. But he’s redecorating it.” Laney smiled again. She did a lot of that lately. “He’s making it the baby’s room.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “That’s Max. He’s thoughtful and he’s excited. Jenna, he already bought sheets.”

  “Crib sheets?”

  “No,” Laney laughed. “Bed sheets. Like full sized bed sheets. They have Spiderman on them. They’re for a little boy, not a baby. That’s how invested in this he is. He’s thinking that far down the road. It’s so different.”

  I felt my heart skip a beat. “Different from being with Kellen?” I asked carefully.

  Laney stilled, her smile fading. “Yeah. With Kellen I didn’t know where we would be the next day. I definitely couldn’t plan for the next year or the next ten. He… God, everyone thinks I pushed him to get engaged,” she blurted, her voice rushed and almost angry. “That’s not what happened. Not really. We talked about it. We had agreed on it and then that was it. No proposal, no ring, no nothing. He just stalled out and let it drop. It drove me crazy! Finally I went out, picked the ring I wanted, showed it to him, and said, ‘Here. Make it happen if it’s happening.’ And he bought it. He brought it home, he gave it to me, and I put it on my finger. That’s how we got engaged. In the kitchen of his apartment, the apartment we weren’t even sharing because he didn’t want to. And now I’m practically living with Max because he wants me around. He loves having me around. Kellen just—he never did. He never wanted me with him. Not really.” She paused, looking at me with a strangely blank expression. “Not the way he is with you.”

  I felt my body flush, my blood going hot in my veins as she continued to watch me with that weird look of absolute nothing. Her face was still pale, almost ashen, and I wondered if it was make up or her mood.

  “Spiderman, huh?” I asked, trying to lighten the feel in the car. “Wouldn’t have been my first choice, but solid. Classic.”

  Laney grinned faintly, nodding. “You guys really hit it off at the party. He loves you.”

  “He’s a really nice guy.”

  “He is. He said he liked Kellen too but I don’t believe it. Or at least I don’t understand it. He’s a shit.”

  “Not always.”

  “He punched Max in the face,” she enunciated slowly.

  I sighed. “Max asked him to.”

  “That’s insane.”

  “I know. I don’t understand how they can knock the teeth out of their enemy and make them their friend. It’s a weird world we all live in.”

  Laney chewed on that, looking out the window as we left Hermosa and headed back to Palos Verdes. We had an appointment at a dress shop for fittings, one she had been fretting for the last few days but when she weighed herself this morning she said she had actually lost weight instead of gained it. Mom assured her that morning sickness did that to a person. You were growing a baby but they weren’t gaining any real mass just yet and meanwhile you were puking up everything you ate. Losing a little weight was only natural.

  Still Laney looked worried. And tired. And pale. Being pregnant did not look fun to me.

  “What time are you leaving tonight?” she asked.

  I glanced at the clock. It was already four and our dress fitting wasn’t for another half hour. I wouldn’t be done with these wedding errands until well after six tonight. “As soon as we’re done.”

  “Gonna be a long drive leaving that late.”

  “I know. We’re cutting it close. His sign in for the match is tomorrow morning, though. We have to be there.”