Ben quickly shut off the ringing and stood as still as possible.

  “Marianna.” His voice was just louder than a whisper, but even through the closed curtains he could see no light was on. She must be fast asleep. Trapper too. He tapped the window as softly as he could. No response.

  He considered tapping louder, but Ben knew that would wake Trapper. He’d just have to content himself with seeing Marianna’s beautiful face tonight in his dreams instead of in person. Sighing, he slowly crept back the way he had come.

  Once on the road, Ben quickened his pace. He also wondered what Roy wanted. He rarely called this late. Instead of calling, Ben texted Roy back.

  Ben

  Did you call?

  Roy

  Get home?

  Ben glanced at the Sommers’ cabin one last time as he crested the hill toward his truck.

  Ben

  Yes. Dodged a few deer but made it.

  Roy

  Bad news.

  Ben

  What?

  Roy

  Confirmed Stacy’s story.

  Ben

  Serious?

  Roy

  Lotsa reporters have plans to be in Montana the last week of September.

  Ben

  Please no.

  Roy

  Elope? Televise it?

  Ben read the last line twice, and worry gnawed at his gut. Those couldn’t be their only options. Even though he was looking forward to marrying Marianna, he’d been procrastinating about talking to her concerning wedding plans. After all, she only knew Amish weddings. Ben had attended one before. He cringed at the thought of the guests sitting on long, backless benches, with him and Marianna sitting on chairs at the front of the room, listening to a preacher yammer.

  Reading the last text a third time, Ben blew out a frustrated breath, and heat flushed through his body. How could he tell her that whatever plans they made would be overrun by paparazzi?

  Over the last few months, Marianna had faced more changes than many women did over a decade. Changing how she dressed. Not wearing a kapp. Attending a new church. Even though she’d been raised to love God, His Word was new to her too. When Ben sat down with her and they read the Bible together, every belief had to be weighed and examined to determine what was God’s truth and what was Amish tradition.

  Would the same contemplation be needed for their wedding too? Would she want to stick to Amish traditions to honor her family? Well, except for the dress. For some reason, Marianna had wanted to at least try on English wedding dresses. He hadn’t heard yet if she’d chosen one. And now he hated thinking that the paparazzi would invade their wedding. They’d see the whole thing as a spectacle instead of the beautiful union of two people willing to go against the norms of their societies for the sake of love.

  Roy

  Let me know how I can help. Signing off.

  Ben

  I’ll figure it out. Thanks.

  He needed to find an answer, yet he knew he couldn’t tell her about the paparazzi. She’d called him on the phone, and he’d heard the worries in her voice. His guess was trying on English wedding dresses had been hard. Were people around the community giving her a hard time too? The last thing Marianna needed was another heavy burden to pile on top of the rest.

  Sticking his phone in his pocket, Ben climbed into his truck and headed for home. As he drove, he remembered something his grandmother had told him during one of her anniversary celebrations. I was told a growing moon and a flowing tide are lucky times to marry. Ben wished planning a wedding would be as clear cut for him. His grandmother hadn’t had the paparazzi to worry about.

  As he drove up to his cabin, noting the new construction, Ben worried the impact would go beyond him and Marianna. Would the media leave them alone after the wedding? Or would their pursuit continue? Folks in this area lived here because they were independent and liked it that way. How would they feel knowing a camera could be put in their face at any time? Would more tourists come, knowing they could have the chance to spot Ben Stone and his Amish bride?

  What am I getting Marianna into? And this whole community too.

  He parked his truck and jumped from the vehicle, then grabbed his suitcase from the back. Someone had left the porch light on. His guess was Ike. It was just something his friend would do.

  Walking inside, Ben flipped on the living room light and sucked in a breath as he viewed the new addition. Abe and Ike had been busy. Before the expansion, the living room, small dining area, and kitchen had filled one boxy room. While he’d been gone, the back room had been knocked out, and a wall of tall windows had been framed, allowing for a large dining room.

  His plan was to purchase a long dining table from Montana Log Works. Six chairs would line one side and two long benches the other—perfect for filling up with as many brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews as would fit. And maybe in the upcoming years, children of their own. He liked the thought of that.

  The addition ran the whole length of the house. Down a new hall beyond the kitchen was their new bedroom suite, complete with a rock fireplace. Next to that was a small additional room that Ben hoped could be used as a nursery in upcoming years. His heart swelled as he thought about Marianna’s reaction. And to think soon this would be her life too. A life they could enjoy together.

  Blue plastic covered the hole where a new roof would soon be added, doing little to block out the cold night air, but that didn’t dampen Ben’s spirits. He smiled, thinking how much extra loving care Abe had put into this addition since it was for his daughter.

  After walking appreciatively around the new construction, Ben yawned and reminded himself that the sooner he went to sleep, the sooner he could wake up and see Marianna. He had just shut the door behind him and locked it when his cell phone buzzed again.

  Ben pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Honestly, Roy, aren’t you going to get some sleep tonight?

  But as he looked down, it wasn’t Roy’s name on the screen. Sucking in labored breaths, he took two quick steps to the living room recliner and sank in.

  Jason. He recognized the name and the number. Yet he knew it wasn’t his friend on the other end. Ben clicked the message icon to read the text.

  Jason

  Seven years ago in just a few days. It doesn’t seem that long, does it? He would be 27. Probably married. I hear you’re getting married. I have to admit I cried myself to sleep when I heard that. I don’t understand how you can go on with life after you took my brother’s. It’s not fair that you get what my brother never got a chance to have.

  Ben closed his eyes and thought of Hannah. Jason’s younger sister had hung around them most days whenever they performed. Even though many siblings didn’t get along, that hadn’t been true of Hannah and Jason. Ben had thought she was cute and even considered asking her on a date, but Jason wouldn’t allow it. Dude, I know how you break hearts. I’m not going to let you do that to my sister.

  And after Jason’s death, Hannah had kept her brother’s cell phone and kept his number active. Then, Hannah would text Ben every year around the anniversary of Jason’s death. She didn’t want Ben to forget how much his actions hurt others. Not that he’d ever forget. Like the refrain of a song, the pain of Ben’s mistake repeated in his mind and heart. The only thing that eased Ben’s distress was that Jason had loved God, hadn’t he?

  Jason hadn’t been perfect by a long shot. Still, whenever he’d started to get off the straight and narrow path, he’d returned to God again—until the broken path on earth had led him to eternity. Hopefully, eternity with God.

  Two unread messages from Hannah remained, but with the heaviness on Ben’s chest, he couldn’t read them tonight.

  “God, I wish I could know that he was in heaven with You.” Ben whispered the words spilling out through trembling lips. “Since I can’t go back and redeem my mistake, I wish there was just some way I could believe that Jason was in heaven, to smooth a balm over my heart.”

  At that moment, a melody filled Ben’s mind, and with the melody came the words.

  As you walked away, I welcomed him into My arms. My mercy over him is love.

  Even more than the shock of the text message from Hannah, the impact of the words playing through his mind hit Ben’s heart. The cell phone felt heavy in his pocket, as if it weighed as much as the stones around his fireplace. And he almost wanted to push the phrase from his mind. But it came again.

  As you walked away, I welcomed him into My arms. My mercy over him is love.

  Ben’s eyes burned, and his throat grew thick and dry. He shuffled into his dark room, but instead of turning on the light, he flung himself across the bed and the quilt Marianna had made for him. The quilt she’d given him last fall, even though she’d thought of marrying another at the time. The quilt had reminded him to pray for her. The quilt urged him not to give up hope and to believe God had a plan for him, even though his past choices had caused pain, darkness, and death.

  As you walked away, I welcomed him into My arms. My mercy over him is love.

  “But I’m getting married,” he croaked into the darkness. His words did little to penetrate the silence of his cabin. Only the shuffling of the wind on the plastic over the addition alerted him that he was still breathing and hadn’t slipped into the dark abyss of depression that he’d once known. Where life seemed to be happening around him but he wasn’t a part of it.

  I’m getting married, and Jason never had the chance. Ben pressed his eyes tight, knowing he couldn’t tell Marianna about this either. He’d just have to do his best to figure out the pain and the paparazzi on his own.

  Chapter Ten

  Wednesday, June 28, West Kootenai, Montana

  The sounds of boys playing filtered into the second-story window—Ellie’s window—waking Marianna from a deep sleep. She rubbed her eyes and yawned, and then she sat up, noting the thin ribbons of light trying to creep around the edge of Ellie’s blackout curtains. Dat had put them up when Ellie started rising with the sun. Dawn came early during Montana summers since they were so far north. Marianna rubbed her neck, feeling a crick, and then reached over and opened the curtain with a tug, allowing light to spill in.

  Last night Ellie had begged Marianna to read her stories before bed. Marianna had fallen asleep in the upstairs bedroom, curled next to her little sister’s side. She tried to slide out of the bed, hoping not to wake Ellie, and noticed that Trapper was curled up on the rug in the middle of the room.

  Marianna leaned over and petted her dog. “You didn’t plan on a sleepover, did you?” She chuckled. “Me either, and I’m too big to fit well in Ellie’s bed. Especially with Ellie in it.” Still, it didn’t matter. Nothing could sink her mood. Ben would be home today. Ben.

  With a smile, she moved to the window to peer down at her brothers chopping wood, feeding the animals, and mucking the stalls loudly with lots of gusto. They deserved this life—to be boys who could be loud and boisterous without the neighbors raising an eyebrow or presenting an opinion on how well they went about their work.

  If ever a place was created for boys, it was Montana. The creeks and beaver ponds, fishing, building forts, climbing trees. More than that, the privacy—not living according to the judgments of the community every single minute.

  As she watched, Josiah rushed up to the porch, carrying a stick. He darted behind one of the porch posts. Then he lifted it up like a bow and pretended to pull back a string.

  Josiah shot an invisible arrow toward Charlie, who ran with the slightest limp due to the severe burns he’d received the previous year. Charlie feigned being hit and then stumbled back into the barn where his chores still awaited.

  Ellie still snored softly as Marianna slid on her robe and then hurried downstairs. She hadn’t planned on sleeping in—slacking on helping Mem prepare breakfast. She wanted to make sure that she could help her mother as much as possible before moving out in a few months.

  When she got downstairs, she saw that the boys had already eaten. Mem was sitting in a living room chair, nursing Joy beside the hearth where a small fire burned. Even though it was June, the morning was nippy enough to need warmth.

  Dat sat alone at the table that still had remnants of the morning’s breakfast. Small gobs of oatmeal clung to the sides of one of Mem’s large crockery bowls. A jar of honey and a bowl of raisins sat next to the bowl. Splatters of honey covered the table. It was clear where the boys had sat, eaten, and then carried off their bowls to the sink when they were through.

  Dat glanced up as she entered the room. His Bible was open in front of him on the table. Marianna had come to expect and appreciate the peace on his face.

  She delivered a sheepish smile. “Morning.”

  “Good mornin’. I suppose those blackout curtains we put in Ellie’s room worked for you too.”

  She nodded and shrugged. “Ja, believe so. I can’t remember the last time I slept in like that.”

  “Looks like you needed it.”

  “Ja, well, I told Annie I’d come in and work for lunch and dinner today. It was nice sleeping in. And…” Marianna raised up on her tiptoes. “And Ben should be home tonight.”

  “Then take the rest of the morning for yourself.” Mem placed Joy on her shoulder to burp her. Joy with her plump legs and round, unblinking eyes. Joy reminded them to slow down and enjoy the morning instead of hurrying through the day.

  Mem smiled at the babbling baby and then looked again at Marianna. “Dat and Ike are waiting for some supplies to come in before they head up to their worksite.” She looked at Dat. “You can help me clean up the dishes this morning, can’t you, Abe?”

  Dat grimaced and scratched his cheek, and Marianna saw the silent conversation pass between their gazes.

  You would have never asked me such a thing in Indiana, his gaze seemed to tell her.

  And this is not Indiana that you brought me to, remember? her wide-eyed glance and peaked eyebrows responded.

  Their playfulness brought a lightness to Marianna’s soul. “If that’s the case, I think I’ll walk down to the pond. There’s so much going on. I just need time to think.”

  Mem’s bright eyes fixed on Marianna. Compassion filled her face. “Go to the pond. You have a lot to think about, pray about.”

  Marianna didn’t have to be told twice. She dressed quickly and headed to her favorite spot, not far behind her parents’ home.

  The large pool of water glimmered in the morning light. A curved dome of sticks and branches, mud and stones, formed a beaver dam that sat near the center of the oval of water. Floating lily pads and water lilies polka-dotted the water. Stripes of tall grass swayed around the water’s edge. Marianna walked through the wildflowers and knee-high weeds toward her favorite fallen log that made the perfect bench. The smell of rotten eggs grew as she neared the pond. It wasn’t enough to keep her away, but she wrinkled her nose.

  As she sat, Marianna wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold down her excitement. Ben would be home tonight. Last night she had dreamed that he had been singing outside their cabin. In her dream, he had believed the cabin was all right for her but not for him. That he had to stay outside. Of all things to dream.

  She bowed her head to pray, and the sound of footsteps caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand. Had one of her brothers followed her? No. The sound was too heavy to be one of the boys.

  Her eyes shot open, and she was almost afraid to turn. She knew bears were out, foraging with gusto after spring had come so late and everything had taken longer to grow and bloom. If she didn’t turn and acknowledge the bear, would it rumble right past her? Goosebumps rose on Marianna’s arms.

  Then with the crunching of footsteps came a soft whistle. Her heart leaped as she recognized the tune. Marianna’s heart doubled its beat, and she stood and turned. Her hand flew to her mouth. “Ben?”

  She took two steps toward him, and Ben made up the space between them. A happy cry escaped Marianna’s lips as Ben lifted her and swung her around in a slow circle.

  “Oh, Marianna, I’m so glad to be home. I missed you. I can’t tell you how much.”

  Tears filled Marianna’s eyes as all the emotions she’d been damming up threatened to break through. She attempted to speak—to tell him how much she loved him and was so thankful to see him—but the softest sniffle broke through.

  Ben pulled his head back slightly. Surprise registered in his blue eyes. “Oh, sweetheart. Is everything all right?” He lowered her to the ground. Ben leaned down to kiss her, and it wasn’t a simple kiss. Their lips touched, and then the kiss deepened, fuller, firmer. Emotions within her caused warmth to move outward from the center of her chest, and Marianna relaxed in his hold. Her arms wrapped around him. Her fingers entwined at the base of his neck.

  His lips were tender as he lingered, then he drew away by small degrees, as if he were afraid she’d slip away.

  As soon as his lips pulled back, he lifted his chin and tugged her body tight against him, as if attempting to protect her from whatever worries and fears she’d faced while he’d been away.

  Marianna allowed herself to be pulled in, nestling against his chest. She lost herself in the scent of the skin of his neck, the warmth of his body, the sound of his breath, and the whispered laughter that escaped from his lips. “I’m sorry. I should have let you answer that question.” His husky voice was filled with desire. His breath was warm on her ear.