“Don’t fucking look at my messages,” I barked at her.

  Who is he? I texted back.

  Don’t know. Want me to go ask?

  I took several deep breaths, mentally battling with myself over the answer to that.

  Yes.

  Destiny began to massage my shoulders. “You’re all tense. Let me make it better,” she whispered in my ear.

  I needed her to get the fuck away from me. The vibrating in my chest was not a good sign. No one needed to be near me when I fucking snapped.

  I shoved myself out of the chair and stood, hating this fucking cast and the limitations with it. Destiny stood up and came to curl up beside me.

  I turned to glare down at her. “Get away from me,” I warned through clenched teeth.

  She pouted and stepped back. “I can make you forget her.”

  No, the fuck she couldn’t. No one could. I’d fucking tried that for years.

  Twenty

  Shiloh

  I officially felt like an idiot. Gage hadn’t contacted me again, and what I’d let him listen to me do was all the more embarrassing. I tried to block it out and keep busy. That was easier said than done.

  Wilder met me at my door and suggested we go get dinner. That was better than sitting at home, watching Gossip Girl and trying not to remember the call with Gage. Tonight was one of the warm winter evenings in Florida, and we went to the seafood place in town that had rooftop seating. Wilder had stopped asking about Gage, and he seemed happier that I was working back at the office.

  The thought that Wilder wanted in my pants bothered me some, thanks to Gage putting the idea there. But Wilder never stepped over the invisible line I’d drawn. Other than him talking about the fact that he found me attractive at times, he was a friend and only that.

  When the server placed our food on the table, I looked up to thank her, but my eyes collided with another pair I hadn’t been expecting. Levi was sitting over at the bar with a glass in his hand, looking directly at me. It was weird, seeing him somewhere besides the house he lived in with Gage.

  I smiled and gave him a small wave. He returned the smile, then turned his attention back to the women sitting beside him. I doubted he was on a date. That didn’t seem like something he would do. He wasn’t a relationship guy, much like Gage. They liked girls they could text for blow jobs.

  Wilder was looking at me, then turned to see who I had waved at. Levi glanced at Wilder a moment, then turned to say something to the server who had spoken to him.

  “You know him?” he asked.

  “Yeah, he’s a friend of the guy who I had to do the home nurse thing for.” That was the only way I could think of to explain it.

  “He didn’t seem to hate you,” he said, picking up his fork.

  I shrugged. “I don’t think he ever did exactly. We didn’t talk much, and I rarely saw him.”

  Wilder seemed appeased by that, and I was thankful he was letting it drop. It was hard to talk around this stuff. I was used to just telling Wilder everything. Other than Wilder, my only real friend in town had been Lynn. She had moved, and I hadn’t gotten close to the other ladies in the office.

  I listened as Wilder started telling me about his phone call with Sarah today. She had gotten a new puppy and was thrilled. Her grandmother, however, was the one who had bought it and was keeping it at her house. Her mom didn’t want to keep it.

  “Hello, Shiloh.” Levi’s voice surprised me, and I looked up to see he’d walked over to us. I hadn’t been paying attention.

  “Levi, hello,” I said, smiling up at him. “Oh, uh, Levi, this is Wilder, my friend and neighbor. Wilder, this is a friend of one of Uncle Neil’s patients.”

  Levi chuckled. “I’ve been his patient before too,” he replied. “Carmichael is the only doctor to ever stitch me up.”

  I hadn’t thought about that.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Wilder told him.

  Levi gave him a once-over, then looked back to me. It was rude, but I wasn’t going to correct the man.

  “Hope we see you around soon,” he said, then winked before walking away.

  “That was weird,” Wilder said once he was far enough away.

  I frowned, then nodded my head in agreement. “Yeah, it was.”

  My phone dinged in my purse, and I tensed. I saw Wilder’s gaze on me, and I continued to eat my meal. I wasn’t touching that phone. Not here. What if Wilder looked at it and Gage said something about the other night? No way. That would be humiliating.

  The phone dinged again. I put another fry in my mouth and met Wilder’s gaze, then smiled. This wasn’t his business. Why was he being so nosy?

  The phone dinged again.

  “You gonna answer that? Sounds like someone needs to talk to you,” he replied.

  I sighed and stood up. “I’ll be right back,” I said, then took my purse and headed for the restroom.

  Pulling my phone out of my purse, I saw Gage’s name with three notifications. I pushed the restroom door open and stepped inside as I opened the text.

  On a date with your friend?

  Not gonna even look at your phone?

  Do I need to send Levi back in there?

  I sighed and hoped Levi wasn’t back.

  I was eating. Yes, it’s my friend. Why does it matter?

  I chewed on my bottom lip nervously.

  Leave.

  What?

  Leave. Go get your food and go home. Alone.

  No. That’s rude and crazy.

  Shiloh, go the fuck home.

  I stuffed the phone back in my purse, silencing it. He doesn’t contact me for three days and then thinks he can tell me what the heck to do. I don’t think so, mister.

  Taking a moment to calm myself, I stared in the mirror. I might have just pissed off a man I wasn’t sure if I should be scared of or not. But no one was going to talk to me like that. I would deal with the fact that it might have turned me on later. Right now, I was mad about it.

  I headed back out into the restaurant and saw Wilder was done eating and drinking his beer. Maybe leaving was best. I pulled out my chair and sat down.

  Wilder frowned at me, looking concerned. “Everything okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. If you’re done, I can get the rest of mine to go. Sorry about that.”

  He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “You look shaken up. Who was texting you?”

  I wished he’d stop being nosy. Granted, up until now, I had told him things, but my life had been boring then. It was currently anything but.

  I shook my head. “Not something I can talk about, but I am fine.”

  “You can’t talk about it, or you can’t talk about it with me?”

  I understood his question, and he deserved honesty.

  “I don’t think it’s something we should discuss.”

  He nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

  I waved at the server and got a to-go box.

  Wilder paid even though I’d tried to pay for my half. I felt guilty about him doing it. This night had turned out to be a bit of a mess. We walked back to the apartment in silence. It was awkward, and I didn’t like feeling that way with Wilder.

  When we reached my door, I looked up at him. “This got weird. I don’t want that.”

  He sighed. “Yeah, me neither. Listen, it’s my fault. I handled it wrong. I’m sorry.”

  I hugged him and stepped back, feeling better. “Thanks for dinner,” I told him before unlocking my door and going inside.

  I set my food on the counter and pulled out my phone, nervous about what all it was going to say.

  Only one text.

  Call me when you get home.

  II

  It isn’t fair to claim that it was toxic when obsession is but a deeper realm of love.

  – Abbi Glines

  Twenty-One

  Shiloh

  Letting my anger get the best of me, I pressed Gage’s number.

  “That took too long,” he said.

  “You don’t have the right to demand I do something.”

  He chuckled.

  “Why is that funny? I am serious.”

  “Because you did it, and now, you’re yelling at me about it.”

  I clenched my fists. I hadn’t meant to do it, but, yes, it’d happened.

  “Why do you care who I go out with?” I asked.

  He didn’t respond right away. I waited because I needed to hear an answer.

  “Who do you think about when you finger-fuck yourself?”

  This was not a fair question. “You are answering a question with a question.”

  “Who, Shiloh?” His voice was softer now, and it caused the fluttering feeling in my stomach.

  “You.”

  “Right, and I don’t want you around any more fucking cocks.” His tone made me shiver.

  “He’s a friend.”

  “Don’t care.”

  I closed my eyes, frustrated by all of this. “Gage, you haven’t contacted me in three days. Before that, it was sporadic, at best. You didn’t want me as your nurse. I’m getting mixed signals, and it’s confusing.”

  He was quiet for a moment.

  “Would you come back here?” he asked me.

  “To be your nurse?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about Doreen?”

  “I want you.”

  Whew, this was tempting. “I’m not sure Uncle Neil will allow me to.”

  He chuckled. “Carmichael will do what I say.”

  This was a bad idea.

  “Please, Shiloh.”

  Oh good Lord, how was a woman supposed to deal with this? It wasn’t fair. I was trying to be smart and make good choices. Gage Presley was not a good choice. But in the two years since my life had basically begun, he was the only person to make me feel all these things.

  “Are you going to be nice to me?” I asked.

  “Very.”

  “No more getting angry and sending me away? No more hating me for something I don’t even remember?”

  “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

  The deep timbre in his voice had some kind of power over me.

  “What is it that we are doing?” I asked him.

  “You’re gonna be my nurse.”

  Somehow, I didn’t feel like that was the case, but I didn’t care. My vagina was currently in control right now. “Okay.”

  “You’ll need to bring your overnight bag. Huck and Levi have to go out of town. Trinity is going to stay elsewhere.”

  Overnight? That sounded like a terrible idea.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  “Good night, Shiloh,” he said into the phone before the line went dead.

  This was insanity.

  Uncle Neil said very little as he drove me to Gage’s the next morning. He had frowned at the overnight bag in my hand, but said nothing.

  When we pulled through the security gate, he finally broke the silence. “He’s a dangerous man. You understand that, right?”

  I nodded. “I do.”

  “And you want to do this? You’re sure?”

  As if he could save me if I didn’t.

  “I want to. He’s not forcing me. He asked, and I agreed.”

  Uncle Neil glanced at me. “I can’t protect you from him. Any of them.”

  “I know,” I told him and reached over to squeeze his arm. “You don’t have to.”

  He pulled up to a stop outside the house and let out a weary sigh. “Be careful, Shiloh.”

  I hugged him. “I will.”

  Taking my bag, I opened the door and stepped out into the sunshine. It felt more like spring than winter. Heading for the stairs, I wasn’t surprised when Huck answered the door before I got to the top.

  He looked about as happy as Uncle Neil. “You know what you’re doing?” he asked me.

  “Yes.”

  “How much has he told you about your past together?”

  I shook my head. “Not a lot.”

  His scowl wasn’t anything new. I thought it was permanent when he looked at me.

  “You might want to find out more.”

  Noted.

  He stepped back and let me come inside. “He just went back up the stairs. He’s been coming down to eat, and he goes to the living room to watch television. He knew you were coming and went back up.”

  “Okay,” I replied, then headed for the stairs.

  The Gage who flirted and didn’t seem to hate me I’d only really experienced on the phone. Seeing him in person after things had changed had me feeling nervous. What if Wilder was right? What if this was a mistake?

  I reached his bedroom door and went inside. The hospital bed was gone, and in its place was a king-size bed with a black iron frame. When I turned my head to the right, I found him watching me. He was sitting up on the sofa with his broken leg no longer in a full leg cast, and it was propped up on an ottoman that hadn’t been here before. It was clear he was doing much better.

  “Looks like you’ve made a lot of progress.”

  He grinned at me, making me feel light-headed. “Doreen was a drill sergeant.”

  That was exactly what he needed.

  “She was good for you then.”

  “I like her replacement a hellavua lot better. Come here, Shiloh.” His voice dropped slightly.

  Walking over to him, I set the overnight bag down and then started to take a seat on the other end of the sofa. He shook his head at me and patted the spot beside him. My nerves were on overdrive now. I sat down.

  “Shiloh.”

  “Hmm?”

  “You’re fucking tense. Relax,” he told me.

  I tried, but it was difficult. “Your moods make me nervous. I don’t know what I’m getting with you. This is a new mood, so I need adjustment time. Not to mention, I’m not sure you need a nurse anymore.” I figured being honest was best.

  He reached out and squeezed the top of my thigh. “I gave up on hating you. It wasn’t fucking working. I thought that was clear from our phone conversations. And I didn’t need Doreen, but I do need you.”

  I laughed softly and looked down at my hands. Wow, okay. Was he saying he needed me sexually? Good Lord, I wasn’t ready for that.

  “Yeah, well, the phone and in person are completely different. Like I’ve said before, you’re intimidating.”

  He lifted his hand and grabbed my chin between his thumb and finger, forcing me to look up at him. “I don’t want you nervous around me.” His amber eyes held my gaze.

  I smiled. “Not sure that can be helped.”

  His thumb brushed the single dimple in my cheek. “Fucking love this dimple. Always have.”

  It was a strange dynamic. Having had a sexual relationship with a man who was very intense and not remembering any of it. This had never been an issue with Isaac. He’d not made me feel this way. Looking at him didn’t make my stomach flutter or my heart race. Not once had he said or done something to make me need to squeeze my thighs together. A part of me wished I remembered this—us—but then I’d remember what I had done. I didn’t think I wanted that on my chest.

  Hearing what I had done and living through it would be two different things.

  “I can’t lean forward yet, baby,” he said, looking down at my lips. “Hurts too bad. You’re gonna have to come to me. I’ve waited five long fucking years, and I need this mouth.”

  My entire body felt feverish. With my heart pounding in my chest, I scooted closer and leaned in, careful not to touch his chest or ribs, and pressed a kiss to his mouth. I’d caught myself staring at his mouth while he slept more than once. Wondering what it would feel like to kiss it. Feel his lips move over mine.

  He cupped my face as his tongue slid into my mouth. The warmth from our breaths mingled, and I smelled the mint of his toothpaste. He moved his head slightly and plunged deeper. I wanted to press myself against him and get closer. Feel his body heat. I was careful though, not wanting to cause him any pain.

  I felt his hand slide up my leg, then inside my shorts. My breath caught, and I started to pull back. His eyes locked on me, and he shook his head. Leaning back in, I felt small little flicks of his tongue along my bottom lip before he pressed his mouth to mine once more. His hand pushed open my legs, and I stopped breathing completely as he moved his fingers inside my shorts until his fingertips brushed my damp panties.

  He broke the kiss, his breaths coming in hard, but his forehead rested on mine. “You’re already wet,” he whispered against my lips.

  “You excite me,” I replied honestly.

  “Fuck, you’re gonna kill me,” he groaned.

  A knock on the door startled me, and I moved back, turning toward the door and pressing my open legs back together just in time for Levi to enter the room.

  He glanced at me, then at Gage. “We’re heading out.”

  “Good,” Gage replied tightly.

  Levi gave him a knowing grin. “You sound anxious to get rid of us.”

  “Yeah,” he agreed.

  Levi looked back at me. “Feels almost like old times. Except you’re not a bitch.”

  “Levi.” The warning in Gage’s voice made me tense.

  However, Levi laughed, clearly amused.

  “Take care of him, Nurse,” he drawled, looking amused as he closed the door.

  “I wasn’t done.” Gage’s tone was husky.

  I turned back to him, and his gaze dropped back to my mouth.

  “Give me that mouth, Shiloh.”

  Twenty-Two

  Gage

  They were fucking gone. Two days of having Shiloh all to myself. I’d listened to Huck and Blaise remind me how badly this girl had messed me up the last time. Levi had been the only one to point out how different she was now. Blaise hadn’t been around this version of her, but he’d said that wasn’t the point. They all thought I was fucking crazy anyway, and there was a part of me that knew I was wired differently from others. That, compounded with my obsession with this woman, had made me fucking mental. They acted like I’d forgotten, but I remembered.