My fingertips were barely inside the waistline when I felt the swollen head of his erection. He stopped breathing, and that only urged me on. I continued to feel the deep cut in his lower stomach by sliding my hand underneath his rigid length, all the way to the patch of hair. Running my fingers from one side to the other without touching more. His breathing became short and quick. I could see his stomach rise and fall with each one.

  Unable to continue torturing him, I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock and slid it up slowly. Gage jerked his hips and muttered a curse, then pushed the sweats down so he could see my hand on him.

  “Jesus Christ, baby,” he groaned.

  I ran my hand over the pearlescent liquid seeping out of the top and used it as lube. Gage spread his legs wider and bit his bottom lip as he watched me. This was new for me, and I knew how it worked. I just wasn’t sure if I was doing it all right.

  “Damn.” His voice was husky. “Squeeze it harder, baby.”

  “Like this?” I asked, looking at him for approval.

  “Yeah, fuck. Yeah, like that,” he said. His hand slid under my shirt. “Take this off. Bra too. I want to see your tits while you do this.”

  The power I felt, being able to make him feel like this, was a heady rush. I pulled my shirt off, then unhooked my bra, letting it fall down my arms. When his eyes locked on my breasts, I trembled. Leaning over, I took him back in my hand and continued to stroke him, using the liquid leaking from the head to make my hand slide easier and faster.

  Gage squeezed one of my breasts in his hand, and I let out a small cry as he pinched a nipple hard.

  “God, I love your tits,” he growled, lifting his hips and pushing his cock into my hand with a thrust. “Faster, baby,” he begged.

  I tightened my grip and began to focus on making this feel good for him. He continued playing with my breasts, but I didn’t let it distract me.

  “Get on your knees between my legs,” he growled.

  I moved down to the floor, and he opened his legs wider.

  “I want to shoot my load all over those pretty pink nipples.”

  The fierce look on his face as he drew closer to his climax was making me throb harder. I squirmed some, needing the friction there as I felt him swell in my hand.

  “FUCK!” he roared, taking his cock from my hand and pumping it hard as he aimed each stream of cum at my breasts. His eyes looked wild while he watched it.

  Even without touching myself, I felt close to an orgasm. When he finished, I squirmed a little more, and then he sat up and took my semen-covered boobs in his hands. He started to run his hands over the cum, spreading it all over my breasts. The moment he smeared some over my nipples, the climax I felt building inside of me erupted, and I cried out, rocking my hips back and forth as it washed over me.

  “Holy shit.” Gage’s deep voice made me shiver as the last tremor faded.

  Panting, I opened my eyes to look at him.

  “Shiloh …” He said my name like a low rumble. “Did you just fucking get off?”

  I nodded, still surprised this was something that could happen.

  “How the fuck am I gonna survive you?” he whispered.

  I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure what to say to that or what he meant.

  We sat there, looking at each other in silence until, finally, he let out a deep sigh. “Put your shirt on so I can concentrate, but leave your bra off and my cum all on your tits. Right now, I’m feeling fucking territorial, and that’s the only way I think I can stay calm enough to let you eat.”

  I reached for my shirt and tugged it back over my head, then stood up.

  “Are you thirsty?” I asked him, feeling like I needed to get some air away from the sex-charged energy in this room.

  “Could I have a beer?” he asked.

  I hurried to go get it and splashed my face with cold water. This was not at all what I’d expected when coming here, and it was going too fast that I didn’t know if I should hold on and enjoy it or bolt before it was too far gone.

  Twenty-Four

  Shiloh

  Pulling the food out of the bags, I placed them on plates, then carried them back into the living room. Gage had paused the movie and was texting someone when I stopped in front of him. I set his plate down beside him, then walked around the ottoman to return to my spot on the sofa. The cheeseburger he’d ordered me was too tall to put in my mouth.

  How had I eaten this before? With a knife and fork?

  I could feel him watching me.

  I looked over at him and pointed to the burger. “How do you expect me to fit that in my mouth?”

  A grin tugged at his mouth.

  “Do not make a dirty joke out of this. I am serious.”

  He reached over and pressed down on the burger to flatten it, then winked at me. “That’s how you do it.”

  I scrunched my nose and frowned. “I’ll be honest, I think Wilder’s way of ordering a cheeseburger is better than my old way.”

  “Wilder?” Gage asked.

  I nodded. “Yes, my friend, Wilder. He taught me a lot when I moved back here. Like how to order a cheeseburger.”

  Gage didn’t say anything, so I figured he was texting again. I picked up the burger and glanced at him before taking a bite. He wasn’t texting. He was scowling.

  I set the burger back down. “What?”

  “Wilder’s the fucking guy friend of yours that you don’t think wants to fuck you?”

  I hadn’t meant to piss him off. I’d just been talking. Saying my thoughts aloud. “Uh, well, yes. Wilder is my guy friend who has never once tried to fuck me since I moved back here.”

  “Has he kissed you?” Gage asked, and his tone made me nervous.

  “Never,” I replied.

  I thought that would fix this, but apparently, it didn’t.

  “I’m not attracted to Wilder. He’s just a friend. I’ve never wanted to kiss him or touch him.”

  Gage’s jaw was clenched tightly. I wanted to reach up and touch his face. Try and soothe him, but he scared me when he was like this. I didn’t know where the line was when he’d snap at me or turn into the man I’d first met.

  “Just eat,” he finally said and picked up the remote to resume the horror movie he had picked.

  My stomach was in knots, but I wasn’t about to disobey him. I picked the cheeseburger back up and took a bite. Just like the other things Gage had told me to try, I realized this was delicious. Why hadn’t I tried fries on my cheeseburger before? It was brilliant. I took another bite, happy about my new discovery.

  “You’re smiling,” Gage said, sounding amused.

  I turned to him, and the furious look in his eyes was gone. He was pleased. His amber eyes glanced at my mouth, then lifted to meet my gaze.

  “Because this is delicious.”

  He smirked, then turned his attention back to the movie. We continued in silence, and by the time I was finished with my meal, I’d figured out what was happening in this film. Gage put his arm on the back of the sofa and motioned for me to come lie against him again. I curled my feet up, and careful not to touch his ribs, I rested my head on his shoulder. His warm body smelled wonderful, and I closed my eyes. Soaking up how good it felt to be near him like this.

  The next time I opened my eyes, the room was dark, except for the hallway light, and my head was in Gage’s lap. Turning my head, I looked up to see his eyes closed. Crap. He should have woken me up. It wasn’t good for him to sleep like this. Easing myself up, I tried to think of what would be best. Maybe I could turn him around and lay him on the sofa, then get him a blanket and pillow. The recliner would be fine for me.

  Gage’s hand wrapped around my wrist. “Where are you going?” he asked, his voice thick from sleep.

  “To get you a pillow and a blanket. I’m sorry I fell asleep. I’ll get you comfortable. Just give me a second,” I replied.

  “No. Let’s go upstairs,” he said, moving his cast to the floor and then standing up without my help. He’d done it easily. Not even a need for a crutch.

  “You’re sure you don’t want to just sleep down here?” I asked him.

  “Want you in my bed,” he replied and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, then began walking us toward the stairs.

  This man did not need my assistance to walk. Not even a little. He’d left the crutch by the sofa, completely forgotten.

  When we reached the stairs, he glanced at me and grinned. “I can do this.”

  Of course he could. I stood there and watched as he maneuvered himself up without any help or issue. This clearly wasn’t the first time he’d done this. I lifted my gaze to his, and he winked at me. Damn that wink. It made my thoughts scramble.

  At the top of the stairs, he put his arm around my shoulders again. Not for support, but to keep me beside him.

  Was I even needed in this house?

  We reached his door, and he dropped his hand to my back and pressed it for me to go in first.

  Gage walked to the bathroom, and I could hear the water running, then the sound of him brushing his teeth. I waited until he walked out to take my overnight bag inside and close the door behind me. I didn’t try and help him get into bed because he didn’t need it. Tomorrow, we’d talk about this.

  I washed my breasts off from our earlier sexual activities, then brushed my teeth before changing into a pair of pale blue pajama shorts and the matching sleeveless top. When I opened the door and stepped into the bedroom, I expected to find him asleep. His eyes were open, and they followed me as I walked to the other side of his bed and climbed inside.

  “Beside me,” he said, still sounding like he’d just woken up.

  I moved closer until he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me against him. His lips brushed the side of my head, and his leg wedged between mine. A content warmth washed over me.

  For the first time since I’d opened my eyes two years ago, I didn’t feel the hollowness deep in my chest. In the beginning, I’d thought it was because I had no memories. That the relationships in my life were now unknown.

  Moving and leaving all of that behind to start new hadn’t changed it. The emptiness remained while I tried to build a life around it. Struggling to address it when I didn’t understand what it was that had caused it. I had been missing an important piece.

  My hand moved over to rest on Gage’s chest. If he was what filled that for me, former me had been living with the same vacant ache in her soul that I had been.

  Twenty-Five

  Gage

  Six Years Ago

  This seemed to be all the time now. A constant state of rage churning inside me. I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t fucking ease it. Unless she was with me, and even then, it all depended on her mood. She’d graduated from high school, and I hadn’t been invited to the ceremony. I gripped the wrench in my hand tightly, hating that she had a life I wasn’t a part of.

  When she was with me, it was so easy to forget that I didn’t get all of her. I’d never seen her bedroom or met her parents—they didn’t even know I fucking existed. Shiloh was mine. She was it for me. The days of hiding were over. She’d turned eighteen, and yet she still refused to be open to her family about me.

  Thinking about her at some fucking graduation party with guys talking to her, looking at her, I slammed the wrench down and stood up. I couldn’t focus enough to work on any damn bikes. I cursed, kicking the bike I was supposed to be fixing, then slammed my fist against the wall.

  “Don’t fuck the bike up more. Go walk it off or some shit. You’re gonna have to get control of your temper,” Huck called out.

  I glared back at him. He had no idea what this felt like.

  Huck pointed at the bike. “Don’t fuck up shit,” he warned again before turning to go back inside the office.

  I fisted my hands in my hair, restless, needing to let the pent-up fury inside of me out before I fucking exploded. This was just going to get worse. I’d snap soon. I knew this feeling.

  “I like that hair. In fact, it’s one of my favorite things. Please don’t pull it out,” her voice said.

  I spun around to see the object of my obsession standing inside the garage, wearing a pair of cutoff jeans, a blue tank top, and a pair of cowboy boots.

  I stalked toward her as she smiled at me. Most people couldn’t handle me when I was like this. They backed away, got frightened. Not Shiloh. Her eyes taunted me, daring me to do something. Knowing there was no fucking chance I’d ever hurt her.

  “You’re not wearing that,” I growled as I reached her, grabbing her waist to jerk her against me.

  She’d come here first. She hadn’t just gone to the fucking party yet. My girl had come to see me.

  “If I wanted to, I would, but you’re right. I’m not wearing it,” she replied as her head tilted back, meeting my gaze.

  “Not sure I’m gonna be able to let you go,” I warned her.

  She wrapped her arms around my waist and raised her eyebrows, as if she was going to challenge me. That was nothing new. Barstools had been broken, car windows smashed in, and a few other casualties because Shiloh had pushed me until I cracked. She fucking got off on it.

  “If I wanted to, I would,” she repeated her earlier words. “But I don’t want to. I want you.”

  Just like magic, her words were the only fucking thing that eased me. She was the reason for my insanity and the only fucking cure. Blaise had sworn we were toxic, but he didn’t think I would ever be sane without her. I knew I wouldn’t.

  I ran a knuckle down her cheek and jaw, then slipped it under her chin as I lowered my mouth to hers. She would own me for as long as I had a fucking heartbeat. Kissing her was as close to anything spiritual that I’d ever get. The soft moans she made, the way she leaned into me, as if she couldn’t get close enough, the way her hands grabbed my biceps and her nails bit into my skin.

  “I’m gonna follow you,” I whispered against her lips.

  I’d been fighting my decision. Choosing her over the life I’d thought I wanted with the family, the one Blaise had fought to bring me into. It was no longer the most important thing for me.

  Shiloh pulled back from me so she could look up at me. “What do you mean?” she asked, slightly breathless.

  “You go, I go,” I told her.

  She was deciding on college this week. Every time I thought about her leaving me, I got so fucked up that I couldn’t think straight. The only way was for me to go where she went.

  She frowned. “You can’t do that,” she replied.

  “Yes, I fucking can. I’ll find a job. Get an apartment. A nice one you’ll like.” I had stayed up most of last night planning this. Accepting that, without her, I couldn’t function.

  She had stormed into my life and claimed my soul. It was done. She owned me.

  A soft smile replaced her frown. “You would leave here? Your friends, who are like brothers to you? This life, your job, everything to follow me to wherever?”

  “Shiloh, you shouldn’t have to ask me that. You should know I’d fucking do anything to be with you.”

  She reached up and cupped my face in her hands and lifted herself up on her tiptoes. “I love you,” she said with a smile so fucking sweet that my chest hurt. Leaning closer to my mouth, she pressed a single kiss. “I guess it’s a good thing for everyone that I chose Florida last night.”

  My entire body stilled. “Florida? As in University of, in Gainesville?”

  She was grinning now as she nodded.

  Grabbing her by the waist, I picked her up and let out a shout as I spun her around in circles. Her laughter filled the large space, and my heart slammed into my chest. She had chosen to stay for me. I wouldn’t have to fucking choose between the family and her.

  “What the fuck did you do to him? I came out here earlier, and he looked like he was going to break the damn bike he was working on instead of fix it,” Huck’s voice called from the door leading into the office.

  “I’m going to Florida!” she shouted.

  “Thank fuck,” he drawled. “Maybe we can keep him out of prison now.”

  Shiloh laughed harder, and I pulled her back down to me and slammed my mouth against hers.

  Mine. She was mine.

  Present

  Five years. It had been five fucking years since I’d woken up with her tucked against me. Even back then, this had been rare. We hadn’t gotten many nights where she could stay with me. I didn’t want to move, although I needed to fucking piss. I stared down at her lying on my chest. When she woke up, she was going to freak out about that. Worried she was hurting me.

  Damn, I couldn’t get used to this again. I was walking a line that could ruin me. Giving her the power she had once held over me wasn’t something I could chance. My life was the way I wanted it. Shiloh couldn’t be my kryptonite. Not this time around. I was older. Smarter.

  I eased out from under her. It was best I didn’t linger like this. Enjoying her against me. That was something I could taste, but I wasn’t going to indulge. Fucking yeah, I’d get my fill of fucking her. The other stuff I had to be careful with. It would lead to a place neither one of us needed to relive.

  Standing up, I glanced back at her, and she’d curled her body into a ball with her hand fisted in my pillow. The shit that did to my chest was a warning. One I had to fucking heed.

  Twenty-Six

  Shiloh

  When my eyes opened, Gage was gone. Even his side of the bed was cool to the touch. As I had suspected last night, he didn’t need me here to take care of him. He had me here for other reasons. The way I felt about him was clear. He made me want things. He stirred emotions in me that were thrilling and, at other times, painful.