“Do you feel okay, ma’am?” the driver asked.

  I tried to open my eyes, but that was too much at the moment. Instead, I nodded my head. “Yes, fine, just a little tired.”

  When the car started moving, I was thankful he wasn’t going to continue to speak. He remained silent on the drive. I prayed the nausea that came with this waited. The radio wasn’t loud, but it wasn’t helping. Speaking to ask him to turn it off seemed too difficult of a task.

  The first nauseous wave hit me, and I wanted to cry.

  The car came to a stop, and I heard the driver get out. I would have to open my eyes to get inside. Forcing them to endure the sunlight, I squinted as the driver opened my door. Talking myself through the steps, I managed to get out and take the bag he was holding for me.

  A muttered, “Thank you,” was the best I could do as I walked to the door of my apartment building.

  The lights inside weren’t as awful as the sun had been, but it still hurt. Everything hurt at this point. Getting inside my apartment was slightly difficult. Getting the key in the lock was a struggle. Wilder wasn’t home, or he’d have been out here already.

  When my door finally opened, I dropped my bag and headed for the bathroom. Just as my knees hit the floor in front of the toilet, I threw up. Several heaves until there was nothing left. I wanted to curl up on the bathroom floor, but I needed the darkness only my bedroom could provide. The blackout curtains were in there for a reason. Grabbing a washcloth, I ran it under the cool water and did the best I could to clean my face.

  The curtains were already closed in my room, and I walked to the bed, falling into it and curling up before I realized I hadn’t gotten the pain medicine. I knew I couldn’t physically get up and eat something in order to take the pills. Not in the state I was in. Sometimes, it eased on its own. I could wait and see. Give it time.

  Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes, and I couldn’t stop them. I had to face the emotional pain if I had any chance of getting over the physical. Time seemed to fade in and out. I wasn’t sure if I was sleeping any or not. The migraine wasn’t easing up. Twice, I tried to stand up to go get some medicine, but I was too dizzy.

  I wasn’t sure which direction the door was in, and I lay there to think about it a moment. Before I knew it, the time faded some more. I shivered, wishing it would ease. My mouth was dry. In the distance, I thought I heard my phone ring, but I wasn’t sure.

  I’d dropped my things when I got here, hadn’t I?

  How long had I been here? A few hours maybe?

  It felt longer when I thought about Gage and the way he had made me feel. Even if it had just been for a moment. Did former me still love him? Was that what this was? My mind had forgotten, but my body remembered? I should have stayed away from him.

  But if I had, then I’d never have known him. That thought seemed intolerable. I’d rather know him and live through the pain.

  Twenty-Eight

  Gage

  The house was full. It was loud. Some hot blonde, who Levi’s hookup had brought, was in my lap. This was my life. The one I enjoyed. The one I wanted. My chest felt fucking hollow, but that was familiar too.

  “GAGE!” Huck called out from the kitchen.

  “What?”

  “Where’s your fucking phone?”

  “Don’t know,” I replied. Didn’t fucking care.

  The blonde was playing with my hair, and it was annoying me. I needed another drink.

  Huck stood in front of me. “Who took Shiloh home yesterday morning?” he asked, frowning.

  The sound of her name made me tense up.

  “Bart.” I snarled his name as if it were his fucking fault I’d sent her home.

  “Did he say if she went inside?”

  The concerned look on Huck’s face was sending off alarm bells I didn’t fucking like.

  “I didn’t ask.”

  Huck scowled at me like I’d done something wrong. I had sent her home. He’d been wanting me to send her home since day one. He started to walk off.

  I shoved the girl off my lap. “MOVE!”

  She scrambled to stand, and I pushed myself up.

  “HUCK!” I shouted his name.

  He glared back at me. “What?”

  “Why are you asking about her?” I couldn’t even say her name. I was afraid I’d snap. It was right there on the edge. Sending her away had been the only way to stop myself. To keep me from going fucking psycho over her. One more minute with her, and it would have been done.

  “She hasn’t answered any texts or calls from her uncle. He went by to check on her, and she’s not answering. Her neighbor has also tried. They assumed she was here still, so he called YOU. When he didn’t get you, he called me.”

  My heart slammed against my chest. Terror squeezed my throat so tightly that I could barely breathe. I had enemies. We all did. If any of them had known …

  I shoved past everyone, walking toward the door.

  “Where the fuck are you going?” Huck shouted.

  “To her apartment!”

  “You can’t fucking drive yet!”

  “I’ll go,” Levi called out, but I didn’t stop.

  I continued on, pausing in the gun room on my way out to make sure I was prepared.

  “Gage.” Levi said my name as if he was trying to talk me down.

  There was nothing to talk me down from. Shiloh wasn’t answering her phone or door. Something was wrong.

  “DRIVE!” I shouted as I climbed inside the car, slamming the door behind me.

  Levi glanced at me once as he pulled out of the garage, and we headed down the long drive toward the security gate. I’d fucking let her drive right off yesterday. Didn’t even check to see if she was safe. Make sure she got home okay. I had been too busy trying not to let myself claim her.

  If someone had her or something had happened to her …

  The madness was stewing right below the surface.

  “Bart drove her?” Levi asked.

  I nodded, unable to speak.

  He pressed Bart’s number on the car’s display screen.

  “Yes, sir?” His voice came over the speaker.

  “Did Shiloh Ellis get home safely yesterday? Anything off with her?” Levi asked.

  “Like I told Huck when he called a few minutes ago, she didn’t seem well. I asked her if she was okay, but she barely spoke. She was curled up in the backseat the entire ride and kept her eyes closed. But, yeah, she got inside. I made sure before I drove off.”

  My hand slammed down on the console in front of me. “AND YOU DIDN’T FUCKING THINK I NEEDED TO KNOW SHE WAS ILL?” I roared as I felt myself start to unravel.

  “No, sir. I’m sorry, sir. I thought she had a headache or felt sick. Maybe that was why she was leaving. You didn’t ask me about her, so I figured you knew …” He trailed off.

  I hadn’t asked. Just like Huck had pointed out. I hadn’t fucking checked on her.

  “Thanks, Bart,” Levi said, then ended the call.

  My heart was pounding in my ears.

  “You’re gonna lose it, and that won’t help anyone. Remember last time. Rein it in,” Levi told me.

  “Drive faster,” I replied through clenched teeth.

  The phone rang, and Huck’s name appeared on the screen.

  “Yeah?” Levi said.

  “It’s okay. Her uncle called. The neighbor went to the landlord and got the backup key. He got inside, and she’s suffering from a migraine. He said, since the accident, she sometimes gets them, and they can be debilitating. But the neighbor is with her, and she’ll be fine.”

  The neighbor. Wilder. Fuck no.

  “DRIVE!” I shouted when Levi slowed down like he was going to go back.

  “What are you doing, Gage? She’s fine. You don’t have to get involved,” Huck said.

  My body was strung so fucking tight that I wasn’t sure which side of sanity I was currently on. He was with her. In her apartment. Taking care of her. Touching her. My vision blurred.

  “We don’t need to go, man. Let’s go back.” Levi’s voice was concerned.

  “Drive,” was all I said. It was all I could say.

  “Fuck,” I heard Huck mutter. “Try to keep everyone alive,” he said.

  “I’ll do my best,” Levi replied.

  He pulled up to the outside of her apartment, and before the car came to a complete stop, I swung open the car door. Getting out, I cursed the fucking cast for slowing me down.

  “Let’s talk about this first,” Levi called out, then followed me into the building. “Fucking hell.”

  Her door was locked, and I pounded on it.

  “Don’t break it down,” Levi warned me.

  The door opened, and it wasn’t Shiloh. It was a guy.

  “Oh fuck,” Levi muttered behind me.

  The guy looked down at my cast then back at me. “You must be Gage. You’re not coming in here.” The guy scowled at me.

  I ignored him and started to walk inside, but the man stepped in front of me. He narrowed his gaze, and for a second, he looked ready to fight me if he needed to. The moment my Glock was pressed against his forehead, that stance evaporated, and he quickly turned pale.

  “You just flipped the damn crazy switch. Congratulations,” Levi said to the man as he walked past us. He stepped inside, then looked back at me. “Put the gun away. Blowing his fucking brains out all over her apartment isn’t going to help shit.”

  Hatred seethed through me as I glared at the man who thought he had a right to be in Shiloh’s apartment. “Get the fuck out of here,” I warned him.

  He swallowed hard, and his Adam’s apple bobbed, but he didn’t move.

  “Listen—Wilder, is it? We met at the restaurant. Anyway, my friend is fucking insane, and there is little I can do to stop him. Normally, I can rein him in, but we’ve added Shiloh to this equation, and where she’s concerned, he is batshit crazy. I can assure you, she is the safest female in a ten-mile radius because of him. You, however, might not see another sunrise. Now, please, go back to your apartment. Don’t call the cops because they won’t come. You’re welcome to try, but it’ll be a waste of time. But leave, please. I am not in the mood to clean up the mess if you don’t.”

  The man’s gaze shifted from me to Levi.

  “Put the gun down, Gage,” Levi told me.

  He was right. Shiloh would be upset if I shot him. I had to think clearly. Losing her again wasn’t going to happen. I slowly lowered the gun.

  “This is the part where you get the fuck out of here,” Levi informed him.

  He backed away, his eyes wide, and Levi closed the door, blocking him from my view.

  “He’s going to call the cops. I’ll make the call and handle that,” he told me. “Go on and see her for yourself. It’s done now. No more stopping this shit. I can see the psycho gleam in your eyes.”

  I laid my gun on the counter as I headed to the closed door at the end of the short hallway. The room was completely dark. I eased myself inside and let my eyes focus until I could make out her sleeping form on the bed. My chest felt like it was going to explode. I’d done this. She was like this because of how I’d treated her. Someone should have pointed the fucking gun at my head.

  Walking over to the bed, I climbed on it and moved in close to her back. Her breathing was slow and steady. I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her to my chest. She stirred, and a soft sigh escaped her before she stilled.

  “It’s me,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to her head.

  “Gage?” Her voice rolled over me like a fucking balm.

  “Yeah, baby. Go back to sleep.”

  She turned her head and blinked as she stared at me. “Am I dreaming?” she asked.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Why are you here?”

  I pressed a kiss to her lips. “It’s where I belong.”

  She sighed. “I’m still asleep.”

  The disappointment on her face made me smile.

  “We will talk in the morning,” I told her.

  “Okay,” she muttered, turning away from me again.

  I buried my face in her hair and inhaled.

  How the fuck had I thought I could keep this from happening? It’d been fucking inevitable.

  Twenty-Nine

  Shiloh

  Before I opened my eyes, I felt the warm body pressed against my back. My eyes snapped open, and I looked down at the hand on my stomach. Gage. That hadn’t been a dream. I tried to replay what he’d said in my head, but I’d taken the pain medicine. Things were hazy. Who had called him? His being here wasn’t going to help. I was afraid I’d end up like this again after he left.

  A heaviness settled on my chest. This entire thing was too much. His hand slid up, and he cupped one of my breasts. I looked down at his hand, and I felt his breath against my neck before he pressed a kiss just below my ear.

  “Gage?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Why are you in my bed?”

  “Because you’re mine.”

  He ran his hand down the side of my body, then slipped it between my legs. “How’s your migraine?” he asked in a husky voice that made me shiver.

  “Uh, gone,” I replied.

  “Do you get them a lot?”

  “Not anymore,” I whispered.

  “Good,” he said, rolling me onto my back, then moving down my body until his head was over my stomach. He pulled up my shirt and feathered kisses against my skin.

  “You, uh—Gage?” My thoughts were getting all rattled.

  “Yes, baby?” he asked, his breath hot against my skin.

  “When exactly did you decide”—I gasped as he tugged at the front of my sleep shorts—“uh, that, I was, um, yours?”

  Focus, Shiloh. Stay focused.

  He pressed a kiss just below the waistline of my shorts. “You’ve been mine. I just needed to accept it. Take all that came with it.” He continued kissing lower.

  I squirmed. “I think … we should … talk about it.” My words sounded like a sigh. “Before you, uh, do that.”

  He lifted his head, and his amber eyes locked with mine. “Do you want to leave me?”

  I shook my head.

  “Do you want me?”

  I paused, afraid that he’d react the way he had last time I was honest with him.

  “Shiloh?” he urged.

  “I, uh, we had this conversation. I told you how I felt, and you sent me home.” I gasped out the last word as he kissed the spot just above my clit.

  “I made a mistake. I’ll never make it again. I should have fucked you until you couldn’t walk. It’s what I wanted to do.”

  I let my head fall back on the pillow. Good Lord, how was I supposed to keep it together with this man? He was driving me crazy. His hands gripped the sides of my panties and jerked them down with the pajama shorts.

  “I can’t handle this,” I told him. “It hurts too much when you decide you’re done and send me away.”

  Gage pushed open my legs. “I swear to you that I’ll never hurt you like that again. The thought of you in pain makes me fucking livid. I’m done trying to save us both from this. I can’t. It was done the moment you walked into my fucking bedroom.”

  His tongue began to tease and lick my clit.

  “Oh God,” I moaned.

  “Let me make you feel good,” he murmured, running his tongue against the sensitive folds. “I’m sorry I did this to you,” he added.

  I whimpered. He was taking his time.

  “Will you forgive me?” he asked before he slid his tongue inside of me.

  “Yes,” I panted.

  He groaned, and the vibration made me tremble.

  “Things you should know,” he said, not looking up at me. “I’m possessive as fuck. Only with you. Dangerously so. Can’t help it.” He licked again, then pressed a kiss inside my upper thigh. “Some say I’m obsessed.” His eyes lifted to look at me as his tongue stroked between my legs. “You’re all I fucking want. And that can get demanding.”

  I watched him struggle to breathe.

  “I no longer want to stop it. I need it.” He pressed a kiss where his tongue had been. “This belongs to me.”

  His finger joined his tongue, and he began to slide it in and out of me while his tongue ran back and forth over my clit. My head was pressed back now as my hips lifted to get closer to him.

  “Yes, please,” I panted. “That’s so good. Don’t stop.”

  Gage growled against me as he began to get more aggressive with his mouth. I grabbed the back of his head and continued to cry out his name and plead with him. The crest shattered into bliss.

  Gage’s hard body moved up over me, and his mouth left a trail of kisses along my skin until he was lying beside me, pulling me into his arms. I snuggled against his chest as I floated back to earth, sighing.

  “That was amazing,” I said, pressing my lips to his chest.

  He ran his hand down my back. “This thing with us, even though you’re different and I’m older, it’s still intense. I don’t always do the right thing. I fuck up,” he said.

  I lifted my eyes to his. “Is this your way of telling me you sleep with other women?”

  He scowled. “Fuck no. Shiloh, this is my way of telling you that I can’t stay away from you. Jealousy is a monster that consumes me, and I don’t handle it the way you want me to. I’m going to try. Losing you a second time …” He paused. “I won’t be able to do that.”

  This was all hard to take in.

  “Okay, but I’m still stuck on you sending me away. And now, you’re in my bed, giving me a mind-blowing orgasm. I need time to catch up, I think.”

  His hand squeezed my butt cheek. “Take all the time you need, but you’ll be doing it by my side. With me. All the time.”

  All the time? I frowned. How would I do that?