Under the lights, p.11

  Under the Lights, p.11

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  In the past eight months I’d dealt with far more important stuff than this. A guy leaving me to walk home wasn’t a big deal. I would survive.

  Hello, Son

  CHAPTER 28

  GUNNER

  My brother’s dark hair and hazel eyes were signature Lawton. He looked like our father. I, on the other hand, did not. Nothing like him. Which made sense, seeing as I didn’t have any of his blood running through my veins. Rhett was sitting in the chair to my left. We were both in high-back brown-leather chairs that sat across from Father’s desk.

  Rhett had shown up at the school during last period, surprising me with his visit home. But he said we were meeting with Father at three and he had come to check me out so that neither of us were late. This had thrown me off. We’d never been summoned to the man’s office like this. At least not together. This was weird.

  “Did he know you were coming home?” I asked Rhett, who didn’t seem concerned about this meeting.

  He nodded. “Yes. He requested I return for this. I told him these were the only few days I had available.”

  Had he not questioned him about why we were meeting? “So you just came home because he said to?”

  Rhett shifted in his seat, and this time he did seem a little nervous. “Yeah” was his simple response.

  Because Rhett was the chosen one, he normally bucked our father at every turn. Coming home like this didn’t seem like something he would willingly do. Unless there was something in it for him.

  “He’s late,” I grumbled, hating the wait. I didn’t like to talk to the man, much less sit in his office. A place I was never invited into. The walls were covered in bookshelves, and a painting that probably cost a million dollars hung on the wall over his desk. There were no family photos. Just one picture sat on his desk of him and Rhett last year at a charity event that he’d taken Rhett to but not me. Never me.

  “You got something better to do?” Rhett smirked. That expression resembled our father so much that it annoyed me. I didn’t want to dislike my brother because he looked like a man I hated.

  The door opened behind us, and Rhett glanced back and appeared pleased that the sorry son of a bitch had walked into the room. I was just happy this would start so it could end. Being in here was uncomfortable.

  “Hey, Dad,” Rhett said so casually. They had a relationship that I didn’t have a part in. Never wanted to either.

  “Hello, son,” he replied. That was also something that had once bothered me. Him referring to Rhett as son and me as Gunner or boy. Things like that had molded me as a child. Changed me.

  Taught me not to trust or love. I had the old man to thank for that one.

  “I’m glad you could be here on time, Gunner,” he then said in the condescending tone he reserved for me and those he disliked. Fucker.

  I glared at him with the most bored and uninterested expression I could muster but didn’t respond to his comment.

  “He was happy to come when I showed up to check him out.” Rhett was trying to make this less tense, but it was pointless. Rhett had always tried to help me with our father. He didn’t understand why I was the unloved son and he was the golden child. Even if he did, I didn’t doubt his love for me though. Rhett had always been there for me as a kid.

  With me and that man in a room together, tension was inevitable. I often wondered if he had figured out that I knew the truth. Overnight I had gone from the little boy trying to please him to dodging him at every turn.

  “Of course he was,” our father responded as if that was a bad thing and only proved my worthlessness. Truth was I’d much rather have stayed at school. Hell, I’d have rather someone poked my eyeballs with needles. That would have been more enjoyable than visiting with Satan.

  “I have important matters to attend to this afternoon so let me get to the point,” he began, looking directly at me as if daring me to speak or argue. As if I gave a shit what he had to say.

  “Rhett is the Lawton heir. He has requested to receive the rest of his trust fund now in order to travel this summer in Europe with friends. I believe this is a reasonable request. He needs to enjoy the last few years of his youth before the pressure of this empire falls to him. I set up the trust funds for you both so that they would give you both an edge once you graduated college. I don’t want to touch the investment now so I am going to give him part of his inheritance. Originally your mother had demanded it be equal between the two of you. I was young and agreed. However, things have changed, and with Rhett being the heir to what his great-grandfather built it is only fair that other than the trust fund set aside in your name, Gunner, you will not receive part of the Lawton wealth originally decided upon. I have changed the accounts, and that money is now safely divided between Rhett’s investments and the money market account he currently draws from to live on.”

  As he spoke, my blood grew hotter, and the vein in my forehead that got pronounced when I was angry pulsed. I could feel it. Another thing that wasn’t a Lawton trait. The emotions churning in me were still raw, but I’d managed to harden over the past few years. I wouldn’t cry or beg for this man’s love. Truth was I didn’t want his damn money. Any of it. I’d leave this town and prove to him I could be more than some damn small southern town millionaire. I wasn’t a Lawton. I was someone else, and I wanted to know who the fuck that was.

  Acting as if I didn’t know the truth had been to do what? Save me embarrassment? Protect my mother? She sure as hell hadn’t tried to protect me over the years. Where was she now? At the country club sleeping with the tennis instructor? Unable to sit any longer, I stood and leveled my glare on the man I’d pretended was my father for years.

  “I don’t care. Rhett can have all that is yours. Even the trust fund you’re allowing me to keep. This Lawton bullshit isn’t mine. I don’t want your name. I don’t want your legacy. This family is a motherfucking joke. But I do want one thing—I want to know who my father is. I know you know. I know my mother knows. Either y’all tell me whose blood runs in my veins, or I tell this town that worships the family name that I’m a bastard from one of Mother’s affairs.”

  There it was. Everything I’d ever wanted to say to him. I hadn’t thought it out, exactly. I was more than positive Rhett didn’t know any of this, and the fact he was okay with our father giving him everything made me question Rhett and where we stood. This wasn’t my older brother who had always thought of me and fought for me. He was acting like our father in some way, and it hurt.

  The man who had pretended to be my father my entire life stood up and held my glare with one of his own. “Who told you that? Did your mother?” His voice rose with each word.

  I laughed. Not the amused kind of laugh, but the hard, bitter cackle of a man who had so much hate he wanted to taunt his opponent.

  “You did. When I was twelve years old. Lowering your voice when yelling at my mother was never your strong suit.”

  “You’ll not repeat a word,” he threatened.

  The manic laugh erupted again. “Really? And how will you stop me? Kick me out? That would be a great idea. I’ll go pack my bags and start contacting all the news stations from here to Nashville with my story. They’ll love this juicy Lawton gossip. The world will know you can’t get a stiff dick anymore.”

  I enjoyed watching his face turn bright red. If he dropped dead of a heart attack right this moment, I would cherish it. Watching him die. I hated him that much.

  “Jesus, Gunner, what is wrong with you?” Rhett finally found his voice and spoke up.

  I didn’t take my eyes off his father. Just in case he did die, I’d like to witness it. “You wanted it all, brother. You got it. It was never mine to begin with.”

  “This is crazy talk. I didn’t ask for all this. He just decided to do it.”

  I had to look at him this time. See the lie in his eyes. “But you sat there quietly while he gave it all to you, didn’t you? That’s fine. I don’t want to be you. I want to succeed on my own, not with the world given to me.”

  That was the truth. I had a lot to prove. To my mother, to this man in front of me, and to this town that believed me to be the spoiled heir to a fortune.

  “Silence,” Rhett’s father roared.

  While Rhett did as he was commanded, I turned back to him and smirked. “Or what? Think you can whup my ass? I’d like to see you try.”

  “You’re as sorry an excuse for a human as your father was. Ungrateful, lazy mooch expecting the world to do as you wish. I kept you as my own and gave you a life he couldn’t have given you. And just like him and your mother you took advantage of my generosity. If it wasn’t for Rhett, I’d say your mother was the biggest mistake of my life.”

  “Dad! What the hell is wrong with you two?” Rhett sounded appalled.

  “Keep talking, old man. Nothing you say matters to me. Tell me who my father is, and I’ll leave quietly. Fight me on this, and I’ll tell the whole motherfucking world the dirty Lawton secret. That I’m the bastard son.”

  The door swung open behind us, and my mother’s voice sliced through the room. “No!”

  Rhett spun around to look at her, his eyes still wide with confusion and shock. I kept my disgusted gaze on the man in front of me. He, too, was looking at my mother, but the threat in his eyes was clear. He expected her to shut me up. Good luck with that, asshole.

  “Mom, thank God, they’ve lost their shit in here,” Rhett said as if she were the salvation, not the cause of all of this. I should have known who my real father was. She hid me from him, and I hated her for that. She allowed me to be neglected by a man and verbally abused my entire life while all along there was a man out there who shared my DNA. I wanted to know him. I needed to know that something in him was good.

  “Boys, leave,” she said, her voice hard and cold. “Now.”

  Rhett did as she commanded, but I turned to face her. I wasn’t going anywhere. “I think I’ll stay,” I replied, taunting her. She’d made this monster. Now she could fix it or at least give me my goddamn answers.

  “Gunner,” she sighed dramatically. “I need to speak with your father alone.”

  “He’s not my father. Don’t EVER call him that again.”

  She paused, and I expected her to argue with me, but she kept her angry glare focused on him. “No, he isn’t. But you’re a Lawton, and he knows it. You are heir to as much of the Lawton inheritance as Rhett, and he knows it. Now leave, and I’ll remind him just how wrong he is.”

  “Don’t call me a Lawton. His blood doesn’t run in my veins.” I spat the words out as if they tasted as bad as they made my stomach turn.

  “That’s where you’re wrong. Lawton blood runs just as strong in your veins as it does in your brother’s. Now. GO!”

  Rhett’s hand wrapped around my arm and jerked me toward the door. “Come on,” he demanded, and I went with him. Not because I was obeying him. I was just confused. What the fuck did she mean I was a Lawton?

  All. Of. It.

  CHAPTER 29

  WILLA

  I opened the fridge and pulled out the plate of food Nonna had left for me. Grilled fish with steamed broccoli and a baked potato placed on one of her yellow flower dishes all wrapped up. I’d gotten home close to five after my long walk. That kind of physical exercise made me hungry. I was ready to eat all of this and a piece of pie.

  The sound of a car pulling up outside stopped me from warming up my food. Setting it down on the counter, I went to the back door to see who was here. I had a feeling it was Gunner, but I wanted to see to be sure.

  I was right.

  Jerk.

  I walked back to my food and unwrapped it, then placed it in the microwave. Just as the food began turning slowly inside on the glass platter, a knock sounded on the door. I debated ignoring him. He was coming to apologize. I expected him to. But I didn’t have to forgive him.

  When the ding of the microwave alerting me the food was heated went off, I reached in and got it out, then went to set it on the table. Another knock sounded. He wasn’t giving up. I turned around and was going to give him an annoyed glare but paused when I saw the look in his eyes. He was upset. His eyes were bloodshot as if he’d been crying.

  That got my attention. My annoyance was quickly replaced with concern as I hurried over to the door to open it and check on him.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, not waiting on him to give me a reason why he was upset.

  “Can I come in?” he asked, his voice hoarse from emotion.

  I stepped back and motioned him inside.

  “What’s wrong?” I repeated.

  He rubbed his face with both hands and inhaled deeply before looking at me.

  “I know who my dad is,” he said with such angst in his tone it almost didn’t sound like him.

  Oh. This wasn’t what I had been expecting. At least someone wasn’t dead. Although the answer to this might be just as bad. It sure looked like it was. Asking him who didn’t seem appropriate. So I waited quietly.

  He took a few moments to stare off down my hallway as if he was still in shock. I wondered if he was even going to be able to tell me. This was bad. Hugging him didn’t seem like the right thing to do either.

  After what seemed like an eternity he turned his gaze to me. “I’m a Lawton after all,” he said.

  So his dad was his dad. Was that such a terrible thing?

  “You aren’t happy about that?” I asked.

  He let out an empty laugh. “I’m a Lawton, but the man in that house is still not my father.”

  Now I was confused. Completely. Questioning him seemed like a bad idea, so I just waited again for him to decide how and what he was going to tell me.

  “This is so fucked up.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair with a look in his eyes that bordered on disbelief and anger.

  Who the heck was his father? The suspense wasn’t outweighing my concern for him, but I still wanted to know. He had me more than curious.

  “I hardly knew him. There’s pictures of me with him, and I could tell in the photos that he loved me. But I understand my father’s hate for him now. The way my grandmother talks about him as if he were the devil. They hated him as much as they despise me.”

  I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking. That was insensitive. Unable to not do anything, I closed the distance between us and slipped my hand over his in a silent show of support. He turned his hand over and squeezed mine as if I were his only hope on a sinking ship.

  “My grandfather wasn’t my grandfather. Jeremiah Gunner Lawton was my biological father.” He paused, then looked at me while his words rang in my head. “My mother slept with her father-in-law.”

  Oh God.

  “It’s all mine. He left it all to me legally. All. Of. It.”

  All of what? I wanted to ask, but I didn’t.

  “My father thought he could control my mother enough to hide the fact, but she stood there and threatened to announce it to the world and give me the means to go to court over it. The old man actually looked capable of murder. He threatened to send me off to a boarding school, and she laughed this crazed, manic laugh and informed him that if I chose to, I could have him removed from the house. Me. Remove that man from the house. Shit, Willa. What the hell? Am I even awake?”

  I was beginning to think maybe I wasn’t awake myself. I imagine he felt that way more so than me. “Is he still there?” I asked. I knew his hate for the man, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he had sent him packing.

  Gunner looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “I can’t kick Rhett’s dad out of the house. I don’t want the world to know the truth. I’m not just a bastard. I’m my grandfather’s bastard. Jesus this is fucked.”

  He had a point. This was fucked. Very much so. I tightened the hold I had of his hand. It wasn’t much, but it was all the support I knew to give him. This time I stared off at nothing while the facts listed themselves in my head, and I was sure I wasn’t dreaming. Gunner remained quiet as well. There weren’t words for this really. My heart hurt for him. For the boy everyone thought had it all and the persona he’d lived his whole life. I wanted to hold him and fix it, and that emotion scared me. My feelings for Gunner ran much deeper than I had realized.

  “Rhett left. He yelled and called Mom a whore, then left. She’s locked away in her room crying now, and the asshole who is apparently my . . . brother, not my father . . . shit.” He paused and shook his head at the thought. “He left the house too. The whole damn house has exploded.”

  The front door opened, and we both jerked our attention at the sound. Nonna was home. She was the only one who walked across the grounds and came in the front door. Especially unannounced.

  I slid my hand from his, and he tucked both his in his pockets just before she walked into the kitchen. She looked at Gunner with compassion in her eyes. “Go on and y’all have a seat. I’ll feed you your dinner here,” she said, holding up a plate of food she’d brought back with her. “I reckoned you’d be here.” She then finished, turning her gaze to me. She wasn’t angry, but there was a gentle warning there. She’d overheard them at the big house. I wondered if she had known the truth. She’d been with them for so long, could secrets like that be hidden from her? I doubted it.

  “Y’all go on and eat. I got some chocolate dream pie in the fridge. If’n you want to stay on the sofa tonight, it’s yours,” she said to Gunner, then went about the kitchen fixing glasses of sweet tea.

  “Did you know?” Gunner asked her as we both sat down at the table.

  She paused and didn’t look back at us. Her attention stayed on the glasses in front of her. “Had my suspicions,” she finally replied.

  That was enough for him. He didn’t ask more. We ate in silence, and when bedtime came, he slept on the sofa.

 
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