“I want you to go.” His voice dropped, and I shivered.

  I couldn’t look at him. I stared at the floor. “Okay.”

  “Are you about to cry?” he asked me, turning toward me.

  I shook my head.

  “Then, look at me.”

  I shook my head again.

  He took my chin and lifted it. I took a deep breath and tried to look as normal as I could as my eyes met his. But seeing the concern in his gaze made my eyes burn.

  “I didn’t mean to make you cry.” His voice was gentle. Too gentle.

  A tear broke free and slid down my face. “It’s just pregnancy hormones,” I whispered.

  His thumb brushed the tear away.

  “Don’t be sweet,” I warned him. “I can’t stop crying if you are.”

  He frowned. “Why?”

  I swallowed hard against the knot in my throat. “It’s just been a while since I’ve had sweet. I was finally adjusting to having no one care. Don’t act like you do. I’ll fall apart.”

  “Fuck,” he muttered and pulled me against his chest.

  His arms wrapped around me, and the tears I had warned him about broke free as I began to sob. He held my head against his chest gently with his hand.

  I gripped at his shirt, knowing I shouldn’t be doing this and that I would regret it later, and I let all the sadness out. Missing my family, missing having people around who loved me and wanted me there. Being alone and having no one while I faced a future I had no clue how I was going to handle. But more than that, I cried because I had been in love with this man and been forced to let him go. Make him hate me. Just like life seemed to hate me.

  “I do care, Haisley. You’re not alone in this. You’re here because I care.”

  His words only made me cry harder. He was what I had imagined as my perfect man. He fit all the categories. The two weeks we had spent together were the happiest of my life. Sure, he was in the Mafia, and that had not been on my list, but that was the only thing.

  His lips brushed against my temple, and goose bumps covered my skin. I had to get control over myself. He ran a hand over my back and stopped as it touched bare skin. I sniffled as the crying eased. Something else was taking its place. The need to be close to him in another way made me tremble.

  Saxon’s hands fell away, and he stepped back, leaving me there cold again. “I, uh, have a meeting I need to get to. We need to leave at seven. I …” He glanced at the door. “I gotta go.”

  I watched as he took long strides to the door, wrapping my arms around my waist. He left without a backward glance, and I sank down onto the sofa, pulling my legs underneath me.

  “Yeah, Saxon, I am alone,” I whispered to no one.

  When Saxon had returned to the house to get ready for the party, I had been in my bathroom. The awkwardness didn’t begin until I stepped out of the bedroom and he turned to look at me from where he was standing, watching the television. His arms were crossed over his chest. He was dressed in a light-blue button-down shirt, a pair of faded jeans, and a cleaner pair of cowboy boots. He didn’t say anything after looking at me. He turned off the television, then put the remote down on the coffee table.

  I hadn’t been sure if my blue jean miniskirt and the red sweater that bared both my shoulders was appropriate, but seeing that he was wearing jeans, I felt relieved. I wanted to ask if what I had on was okay, but I worried that he’d think I was asking for a compliment.

  “Ready?” he asked me, flashing a smile my way before heading for the door.

  “Not really,” I replied, following him.

  He looked back at me. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll see.”

  I wanted to trust him, but with these people, I couldn’t be so sure. He held the door open for me, and I walked outside ahead of him. The cool night air hit me, and I shivered.

  “Wait a minute,” Saxon said, turning and walking back inside.

  I stood there, wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm.

  When he reappeared, he was holding a brown leather jacket. “Here,” he said to me, holding it open. “Put this on.”

  “What about you?” I asked.

  He smirked. “I’m a man. I can handle the fifties. Put it on.”

  I slid one arm in as he held it, then the other. He let go and walked around me toward his truck. The scent of leather and pine wrapped around me, reminding me of how I’d loved this smell when Saxon used to hold me and kiss me.

  I made my way to the truck and realized he’d walked to my side and was opening the door. He was being nice. Could I handle that? Would my heart be able to deal with this?

  Trying to make light of the situation, I smiled up at him. “You bring me a coat and open my car door. Not sure what to think of this.”

  His gaze dropped to my shoes, then back up at me. “I figured with those heels, you’d need help getting in. I don’t need you falling. You’re carrying my baby.”

  A smirk touched his lips, and I felt it tingle every nerve in my body.

  I placed my hand in his, and he helped me up into the truck. Sitting back, I realized I wasn’t nervous about the party so much anymore. He’d distracted me. Had that been his plan?

  Shifting in my seat, I crossed my legs as he sat down in the driver’s side. I didn’t miss the way his eyes went to my legs before quickly looking away. Smiling to myself, I decided these were my new favorite shoes.

  “I’ve only been to one Christmas party. It was at the yoga studio where I work,” I told him.

  “They like their Christmas parties here. This one, then the one Mom has here, and Garrett will have one on Christmas Eve.”

  “That must be nice to have grown up with all the decorations and parties.”

  He shrugged. “When I was younger, I guess. It gets annoying now.”

  “How can it be annoying? Everything at your parents’ house was magical—well, the decorations. Your mom hates me, and there is nothing magical about it.”

  He cut his eyes at me. “How did you celebrate Christmas, growing up?”

  I sighed and shook my head. “We didn’t.”

  He turned his head to look at me fully this time. “Are you Jewish?”

  I laughed at that. “No. We didn’t celebrate Hanukkah either.”

  “Is your mom just against the holiday?”

  Oh, to have grown up in his world and not realize that, without money, Christmas was a struggle.

  “Mom told us that Santa was a made-up thing that parents told their kids. Since she struggled to keep a roof over our heads, she couldn’t afford to buy us gifts or put up a tree or decorations. So, she chose not to celebrate it at all. We rarely had a television back then, so we didn’t watch Christmas movies. Other than hearing other kids talk about it at school and the school parties in the classroom, we didn’t know much about the holiday.”

  Saxon was quiet for a moment. I wondered if I’d been too honest with him.

  “Fuck, Haisley. That’s just sad.”

  I shrugged. “It’s life. We didn’t live in a box on the side of the street, and we had food to eat. There are those who had less than us.”

  We drove in silence for a few minutes, and then he turned, and we went under a massive arch that said Hughes Farm on it. I gasped, sitting up straight. Twinkling white lights covered everything. They even hung from trees. It was incredible.

  “Oh my God,” I whispered, trying to take it all in. How many lights were there, and how long had this taken to do? “Look! They have Christmas trees outside! And is that one at the stables? The horses even have a tree!”

  When Saxon pulled up to the house, he parked behind another car in the large circular drive. Christmas trees decorated in silver and white lined the steps on both sides leading up to the house. There had to be over forty trees just outside, and they were all fully decorated. Not just covered in lights.

  “Prepare yourself. The inside is just as insane,” Saxon told me, opening his door.

  I quickly opened mine, ready to jump down and see everything up close. Pausing, I listened as holiday music played from speakers.

  My eyes went to the front of the mansion. Wreaths covered the windows, and trees were lit up in almost every window.

  “It’s like a winter wonderland but in Florida,” I said as Saxon appeared in front of me.

  “Give me your hand before you break your leg,” he said as his fingers wrapped around my wrist.

  He helped me down, and I went back to looking at the decorations. We walked up the stairs, and I realized there were presents under the bajllion trees we passed. Surely, those weren’t real presents.

  “They always go all out, but this year, it’s a little more over the top than usual,” Saxon said beside me. “Garrett fell in love, and his fiancée wanted a Christmas wedding. They’re getting married here on Christmas Day. Also, just so you don’t get confused by the stepsibling jokes you’re going to hear tonight, Trev’s girlfriend, Gypsi, is about to become his stepsister. The guys like to tease him about it. Although he doesn’t seem to care.”

  That had to be a good story.

  “I’d like to know how that happened.”

  Saxon grinned. “I’ll give you the details sometime.”

  When we reached the door, I realized Saxon’s hand was on my lower back. I’d been so caught up in everything around me that I hadn’t noticed. I did now though. My entire body did. He pressed the doorbell, and I could hear the “Carol of the Bells” play.

  “Is that their doorbell?” I asked, amazed.

  He nodded.

  The door swung open, and a stunning blonde smiled warmly at Saxon, then turned to me. She was wearing a red dress that hugged her curves, and her platinum hair hung in curls around her shoulders.

  Stepping forward, she held out her hand to me. “I’m Gypsi, and I am so glad you came.”

  I placed my hand in hers, and she used both her hands to gently squeeze mine before turning back to Saxon.

  “Wow,” she said her eyes wide. “She’s gorgeous.”

  Me? I glanced at Saxon then, and he was blushing. Why was he blushing?

  He cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he agreed, but it didn’t seem very believable.

  “Sax! You’re here.” Trev Hughes, who I recognized immediately, stepped into the entryway. “And you brought Haisley.”

  He was smiling brightly and looked genuinely happy that I was here. That was a relief.

  “Haisley’s here?” I heard Aspen call out, and then she came walking through the same entrance Trev had.

  Her eyes lit up when she saw me. Seeing a familiar face among all these people felt good. Even if her boyfriend scared me to death.

  “Why don’t we make our way to the great room?” Saxon said. “Y’all can all talk to Haisley in there, and I can get a drink.”

  Aspen came up to me and hugged me. “It’s so good to see you,” she said, then lowered her voice. “And I want all the details on this baby.”

  When she pulled back, she looked up at Saxon. “I trust you’re treating her right.”

  He nodded, but the smile on his face said he wasn’t so sure.

  “He’s been great,” I assured her.

  The doorbell played “Jingle Bells” this time, and Gypsi turned to look back at the door. “Y’all go ahead. I’ll get it.”

  “I’ll see you in a bit. I’m supposed to be getting the caterer to bring more tequila to the bartender outside,” Aspen told me.

  I nodded as she turned to leave.

  Saxon placed his hand on my back again, and we followed the others toward the sound of talking, music, and laughter. This was the overwhelming part. Being here and knowing that these people, the majority of them—the men, to be exact—didn’t like me. They didn’t trust me because of AJ.

  “The girl who got Sax to break a rule,” a male voice called out.

  I looked to see a guy who looked more like a model than a member of the Mafia. Maybe one of those handsome quarterbacks who had that all-American smile.

  “It’s good to know even you can break for the right pus—”

  “Gage, do not finish that sentence,” a woman with dark hair and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen interrupted him as she wrapped her arm around his.

  His smirk softened as he looked down at her. “What, sweet baby?” he drawled, reaching up to run his knuckle over her bottom lip. “I was just congratulating him on being a little bad.”

  The woman rolled her eyes, then bit his finger.

  “Keep that shit up and see what happens,” he warned her in a way that made her eyes flare.

  I felt like we were being voyeurs at this point.

  She swung her blue eyes back to me. “It’s nice to meet you finally.” She smiled. “I’m Shiloh. This is Gage. I apologize for anything he says in advance. He has no filter.”

  “You mean, he has no morals,” Saxon replied.

  Gage grinned. “How can I when you got them all?”

  Saxon chuckled.

  “Come with me,” Shiloh said. “I’ll introduce you to the other girls.”

  I glanced up at Saxon, and he nodded. He was probably glad to get rid of me. I followed Shiloh out the door onto a back patio unlike any I had ever seen. There were several levels to it, a massive fireplace, more Christmas trees, lights, and decorations.

  “Okay, so Aspen didn’t exaggerate,” a female said.

  I turned to see a brunette with big brown eyes, and in the green dress she was wearing, I noticed she had the perfect hourglass figure.

  “I’m Trinity,” she informed me. “Aspen and I live in the same house. At least for now. Levi is having a house built for them. Anyway, she said you were the kind of stunning that was intimidating.”

  She had? I’d been told I was pretty a lot in my life, but hearing people in this world—with their money, power, and beauty—considered me intimidating was laughable.

  “Thank you,” I replied, feeling unsure of what to say. “It’s nice to meet you,” I added, feeling awkward.

  Trinity smiled. “We’re all glad you’re here.”

  So far, it felt like they were at least. I’d yet to see Levi or the blonde tattooed guy. Those were the two I was most worried about.

  “Oh good! You made it out here,” Aspen said, walking toward me.

  “Maddy and Blaise just got here,” Gypsi announced as she walked outside. “Everyone has arrived. I can come out here with y’all now.”

  Okay, and Blaise. Maybe I was scared about meeting him too. He was the boss.

  Gypsi walked over and picked up a glass from the bartender who had already fixed her something. Then, she turned to me. “I am going to speak for all of us when I say, we want to hear all about what went down with you and Saxon.”

  Trinity laughed. “Leave it to Gypsi to get to the point.”

  “I was going to ask. She just beat me to it,” Shiloh admitted.

  “We should wait on Maddy though,” Trinity said.

  They all nodded as Aspen sat down and patted the spot beside her on a white leather sofa. Which was outside. Who put white leather furniture outside?

  I took a seat, and the others all found places to sit with the elaborate options.

  Shiloh looked up and waved at someone. “Come on! We are waiting on you to get the Saxon being a daddy details.”

  I glanced back, and there was another beautiful blonde.

  She was smiling as she walked our way. “Sorry we are late. Cree wasn’t being cooperative about giving us a night away.”

  “Cree is their little boy,” Aspen whispered.

  Maddy stopped, her eyes landing on me, and a slow smile curled across her lips. For some reason, I felt as if I had done something to please her. She didn’t look like someone who would be married to a future Mafia boss. She looked young, innocent, and kind of perfect.

  “I like this,” she said, nodding at me. “I like it a lot.” She walked over and sat down across from me, then crossed her legs. “Have you met Declan yet? Because if not, I want to be there when she gets a look at you.”

  Trinity laughed, and Gypsi joined her.

  “I’ve met her,” I admit.

  Maddy sighed. “I hate that I missed that. She probably freaked out.”

  I lifted one shoulder. “She wasn’t thrilled.”

  They all started laughing then.

  Maddy’s eyes seemed to dance with amusement. “You’re perfect for Sax.”

  This was awkward. They clearly had the wrong idea.

  “Oh, well, Saxon doesn’t like me much. We had a … bad end to things. He’s not happy about me being pregnant. I am only here because he feels like it’s his responsibility to help me. This isn’t a … I mean, we aren’t together.”

  Trinity leaned forward. “So, he’s rude all the time? Or he runs hot and cold?”

  I had to think about it. “He’s not rude. Just annoyed, but, no, not all the time.”

  “I give it a month,” she said, leaning back in her seat.

  “No way! Two weeks! Saxon is a softy,” Gypsi replied.

  “I’m going with two months. He can be so serious,” Shiloh said.

  Maddy smirked and put her drink to her lips. “One week. Tops.”

  I looked at each one of them, trying to understand what they were talking about. I turned to Aspen. She smiled at me.

  “When Saxon will crack,” she said.

  “Crack?” I asked.

  “Yeah, when he won’t be able to continue being annoyed and gives in to the fact that he wants you.”

  The conversation moved to the upcoming wedding, and I was thankful the focus was off me. I enjoyed listening to them and watching their friendships. I’d never had something like this in my life, and I knew that this was only temporary for me too. Getting attached to them would be harder when it was time for me to go. But for the moment, I let myself pretend I could be a part of their world. Thinking about the fact that these women were married to men in the Mafia was odd. They were all so normal. Nothing dark or twisted in them.