I died before the ambulance ever made it to the hospital. I don’t remember the pain from death, only the calming darkness.

  The very second I was gone, a baby girl was born, and that was Erin.

  I didn’t know what had happened to me until I got to the Divine City, and talked to the Throne angel, Morian. I was sure it was a dream, but that surety didn’t last long. Angels shouldn’t have existed.

  Growing up, my parents always talked about God, heaven, hell, and the like. I always saw them as words and false hope for the afterlife. You don’t really know until you die though, and I found that out.

  Morian had golden wings the size of a basketball player, and his long golden hair was something women would kill for. Not long after meeting him, he told me about a young girl named Erin Porter who needed a guardian. The Throne’s weren’t told what a child’s future holds, only which ones needed a guardian angel.

  I assured the angels that I wasn’t cut out to protect anyone, let alone be someone’s angel. I died racing cars illegally in my black Nirvana shirt and a dirty pair of pants. How could a man like that be the savior for a small child? I felt like a disappointment.

  I was honestly a small percent sure that I was still in a dream, and I would’ve completely convinced myself of it, if it weren’t for the City. Nobody could imagine a place like the Divine City. The massive pillars of gold seemed to hold the entire place above the clouds, but no base was in sight. They only floated on air.

  “No man is cut out to be a Guardian.” Morian looked over his shoulder at me as he led me through the city. “Only days ago, you weren’t the person for this job, Zander. Death chose you to be a Guardian, and that baby girl chose you to be hers. It won’t make sense to you for a long time, and I cannot tell you how long it will take.” He turned and placed a large, dark hand on my shoulder.

  I stuffed my hands in my jean pockets and shook my head. “I don’t know how to fight, Morian. And I don’t have wings like you. What good am I, but to watch bad things happen to her, helpless?”

  He released me and his long golden wings folded back into his shirtless body. “Just because you do not have wings now, doesn’t mean they will not come. As I said, it will make sense one day. You will be an unseen hero, and time will give you your wings.”

  We stopped at the edge of a long cavity in the center of the city. In the gaping arena, a few dozen angels, both men and women, all sparred with one another as if it were military training. I had figured that a lot of beings lived in the city, after seeing the many rows of what looked to be castle wings leading from the main tower and snaking past one another like octopus tentacles, throughout the miles-long floating world.

  Seeing the group before me, so precise and deadly, I saw what the purpose of this place was. Angel training. Intense and powerful angel training.

  Morian waved his arm at the scene before us. “Now, as for having the abilities to protect a person with the strength of an angel. This is why we have the Powers.” He pointed to the many red-winged angels that sped around the others. “The Power angels are our trainers, spies, and overall army. They will teach you everything you need to know.”

  The red wings on the back of the Powers weren’t long and thin like Morian’s wings. They looked soft and fluffy with rounded tops, and only reached to their knees. Size didn’t seem to matter for them, though. They were incredibly strong and fast.

  Morian’s job was over after his introduction to my new trainers. He left me to train in the city with the Powers and other guardians like me. None of them had wings yet either, so I felt less out of place when I was around them. They were men and women of different shapes and sizes, all chosen to protect a single human somewhere in the world.

  It was only a few months of training before I was sent to Erin. The regimen was grueling and harder than I imagined. I became fast and strong over that short time, gaining confidence as I went.

  I felt like I could protect Erin from an asteroid by the time I laid eyes on her. She could’ve been described as an angel herself. I fell in love with that little girl, and watched her grow day after day. I felt immediately protective over her from the moment I saw her sleeping in her mother’s arms.

  I never expected to feel anything other than protection and duty for Erin, but she grew into a woman before my very eyes. I began to admire her tenacity and spirit, and she left me completely enamored. And in all of my training from the Powers, I was never prepared to see her in that way. I was also never told that I could speak to my charge, or have her look at me, especially like that.

  “Hey, Dream Guy. Fancy seeing you here for the thousandth time.” She spoke to me, and my heart leapt in my chest.

  I looked at her, surprised to see her eyes roaming over me. “Dream Guy? That’s what you’ve been calling me this whole time?”

  Having her call me anything was indescribable. I’d always known she could see me while she dreamt, but I thought it was my imagination and I was the one dreaming. I was wrong again.

  I was angry that night. I was angry a lot of times ever since Erin started dating that piece of...Joey. He had his hands all over her too many times for me to count, and he never heard her say no. I was ready to kill him on more than one occasion. She liked him, though. It would only take a step too far for me to show that kid what an angel can do. I just wish she’d see how close that step really was.

  I couldn’t tell her, though. I couldn’t explain to her how I watched her every day and how much I wished I could touch her. But I had to tell her something.

  “Erin, It’s nice to officially meet you. My name is Zander. You’re not crazy… I’m your guardian angel.” Easy, smooth. Good Job, Zander.

  She tried to touch me, and the anticipation nearly killed me. Playing it cool was all I had. I wasn’t like her stupid boyfriend, and I couldn’t handle scaring her away, making her not trust me.

  I wanted to hold her on the day she cried over being called a freak in the eighth grade. I wanted to yell at her when she kept dating Joey after the first time he mistreated her. I wanted to wipe her tears away when she cried over the world’s overpowering emotions, like she did a thousand times.

  It wasn’t until that night, that I wanted to really touch her. I didn’t want to wait anymore as she looked at me with those unique gray eyes and batted her eyelashes so close to me. I thought that maybe I could, if I just tried hard enough. Why not? We were having a conversation when I never thought it would be possible, so why couldn’t I just touch her cheek for a moment?

  I was glad though, when she woke up. I was glad, because as much as I wanted her to ditch the stupid guy and be with me, to see me everywhere and call me on the phone in the middle of the night, she couldn’t. I was “unseen and unheard” as the Powers had taught me. I wasn’t a part of her world. I was her protector, and that title only.

  I couldn’t be a man to her. I was stuck. I was an angel.

  Chapter 7

  * * *

  Erin Porter

  “I’ll just meet you at the restaurant,” I said, as I held the phone to my ear with my shoulder. I danced on one foot in the ultimate balancing act, trying to pull my way-too-tight black leggings up my legs.

  I was getting ready for a date with Joey, trying to look somewhat presentable for once, and he was supposed to pick me up in ten minutes. He called after I was finally done curling my hair into the perfect beach waves, to tell me he couldn’t use his uncle’s car, so he would be walking. That meant I’d also have to walk to meet him at El Toro. Our favorite Mexican restaurant was the halfway point between the two of us.

  Not that I really knew where Joey lived, even after a two year relationship. He had always claimed that his home life wasn’t great growing up, but gave me no details.

  About a year ago, he moved in with an uncle downtown, but I never met the guy. I chose not to ask a lot of questions. It always felt like a sensitive area. I figured a good girlfriend would be understanding, but not pushy, and that left me with a lot of unanswered questions and a gaping hole into the knowings of Joey’s life.

  “Sounds good, babe,” he said with no objections to having me walk to our date. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” Click. The phone hung up and I silently shook my head at my boyfriend. I wished that he’d show a little more humanity or tenderness from time to time. I had a great life with loving parents though, so I felt like maybe I just didn’t understand him fully.

  Who was I to know the life of an abused kid with absent parents? Even with as many personal issues that I had, I was thankfully privileged.

  I slipped into my Vans, figuring the flats I chose earlier in the day wouldn’t do the job with over a mile long walk ahead of me. Throwing my black, long-strapped purse over my shoulder, I took a final glance in the full length mirror.

  Hair done, light application of makeup, tight leggings and a cropped, short-sleeve baby blue top. Simple, comfortable, clean, and just the way I liked it.

  “I’m headed out. Don’t worry if I’m late.” I called into my parent’s kitchen as I headed out the side door of the house. Dad would be just waking up and about to have his “morning” dinner with mom. They ate together every night.

  “Wait!” I heard my father call out through the door as it closed behind me.

  I turned and peeked back into the kitchen where my dad was pulling a white undershirt over his head. “What, Dad? I’ve gotta get going.”

  He crossed his arms, and that always meant he was disappointed. I cringed before he even spoke. “What’s this I hear about a big furry animal coming into the house?”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s just an old dog. He’s a sweetheart and needs a home.” I tried to give him a little girl pouty face. “And besides, Mom said it was okay!”

  “You do realize that it poops, right?”

  I laughed. “Of course, Dad. I do take care of animals for an almost-living, you know?” I didn’t make much, but that wasn’t the point.

  He scrunched up his face and touched his nose with his upper lip. “Your mom must really love you, baby girl.” He hesitated. “But I love you more, so I won’t complain.”

  “Liar! I love her more!” My mom yelled from somewhere in the house and I laughed with a full snort following it up.

  “Love you too, Mom!” I called out and turned to leave. “Gotta go. See you tomorrow.” I waved my hand at my dad who smiled and waved me away.

  It took me exactly twenty minutes to reach the El Toro. It was a small Mexican restaurant squashed between a huge department store that sold almost anything from power tools to frozen lasagnas, and the old town theater.

  Joey and I used to visit the theater and see old black and white movies, frequenting the restaurant since our first date nearly two years before. Getting me a good meaty taco or smothered burrito was the sure-fire way to my heart, and he learned that lesson quickly.

  I peeked into the window on the front door of El Toro, but Joey wasn’t inside. I took a seat on the worn metal bench outside, sure that I’d end up with white paint chips stuck to my pants.

  The sun had just set, and the sidewalks were relatively busy. It was the best time to be in town, as the locals shopped and went on walks, grateful the hot New Mexico sun was done scorching the earth for the day.

  I sat, watching the cars and city buses drive by, always in a hurry. I closed my eyes and let the smell of beef and homemade tortillas fill my nose. My stomach growled at me and I huffed out an irritated breath. I pulled my phone out to shoot Joey a text.

  WHERE R U?

  After several minutes, he still didn’t respond, and I sat for another half hour waiting for him. I was stood up. I sighed and stuck my phone back in my purse. The night would only grow darker, and I didn’t want to spend it alone sitting on a smelly bench, so I started walking back home.

  Adding to my crap night, the crowd thinned out as I left downtown, and soon I was completely alone on the dark sidewalk.

  “Great,” I mumbled under my breath. Once again, I got the unmistakable feeling of eyes watching me. The hairs on my neck and arms stood and made me shiver.

  I looked around me as my legs picked up the pace, and still I saw no one. I always thought that in a fight or flight situation I’d be a good fighter, but at the moment, as the being-watched feeling grew heavy on me, and the orange glow of day disappeared, I just wanted to run.

  I took one last look over my shoulder before making the pansy choice, and then turned to run home. I was stopped quick as I slammed hard into a broad chest.

  “Oof!” I rubbed the now sore spot on my nose. “I’m… sorry, sir. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” I apologized, still looking at the ground so I didn’t trip over my own feet.

  I tried to step around him, but he sidestepped to block me. “It’s quite alright,” he said in a deep baritone.

  I attempted to walk around him the other way, but he immediately stepped in front of me again. I took a step backward and looked up at his face for the first time. He was handsome, in a burly way, and watched me with a crooked smirk on his square face. I didn’t know the man, so having him look at me like he was in on some secret joke caused my pulse to quicken out of fear.

  “Excuse me. I’m just heading home.” I pushed the words out through my heavy breath, pointing toward my house, and tried to wind around his left again. Instead, his large hand grabbed my arm as I passed by.

  I tried to pull myself free, but he stood perfectly still, as if I was just a feather he held onto. “You don’t need to be in such a hurry, kid,” the man said easily, still smiling. “We have time.” Time for what?

  “Let go of me.” I tried to speak in a stern and flat voice so he knew I wasn’t helpless. Even though I was likely very helpless.

  He chuckled and shook his head. “Can’t do that. I was given specific instructions, you see.”

  “What instructions?” Did I really want to know?

  “You’re being tested. And I’m a great teacher.” The corners of his lips lifted higher, showing a thin gap where his crooked teeth sat behind his smile.

  I tugged harder, trying to free myself. “I don’t know you. My father is a police officer, so leave me alone, or you’ll be in trouble!” My skin felt hot, like the sun was touching only me, and I began to sweat.

  The hulking man just laughed and shook his head. “Oh, poor girl. Your father is not a police officer. Trust me.” He squeezed my arm tighter and I groaned against the pain. “Come. It’s time for your test.” He started towing me behind him, toward a deserted field, and I fought against his strong hand.

  My feet dragged over dry dirt and I tried to dig my heels into the ground. The man was incredibly stronger than me, though, so the fighting was futile.

  “Let me go!” I screamed the words and they echoed into the night. He threw his hand over my mouth, and the burning on my skin intensified. My eyes went wide as a white glow stretched from my body, and lit us both up like a lava lamp.

  “Urgh!” The man yelled and jumped away from me, nearly causing me to fall to the ground. He stared at his hands and I followed his gaze. His palms and forearms were red with blisters. His eyes shot back to me and I froze, expecting to be punished for whatever I did to him.

  “Well, test complete then,” he said and his dark eyes narrowed at me.

  “What test?” I wanted to know why he targeted me.

  My breathing was heavy and I threw my hands up in front of me, ready to fight him if he made another move. He shook his shoulders, and like the crack of a wip, two black raven wings shot from his back with a tearing sound.

  I gasped and fell backward onto the sidewalk. “What’s that?” I yelled, unable to control the fast beating of my heart. He didn’t give me an answer to either of my questions.

  The man stretched the black feathery wings, at least five feet on either side of him, and jumped into the night sky with a single flap of the silky appendages, blending into the darkness.

  “What the…” The question fell away. I sat stunned and looked down at my still glowing hands. My own aura?

  I had never seen my own aura before, but it somehow helped me when I needed it, like a weapon from within me. The glowing light faded from me as I steadied my breathing, and I lifted my shaking body off the dirty ground.

  I looked to the sky where the black-winged man had disappeared to. The stars were calm in a moonless sky, and I was alone again in the dark.

  I turned to my left and then to my right, hoping someone saw what I had, but there was nobody to help me feel sane. With all of my being, I knew it wasn’t a freakish hallucination. It was real, so I just ran. I ran all the way home without stopping to face another adventure.

  Chapter 8

  * * *

  “Are you okay?” Zander asked. He stood beside the same weeping willow tree, with his thick arms crossed and shadowed jaw taut with frustration. His emerald eyes looked me up and down as I sat in the green grass, trying my best to ignore him.

  I was mad at him. His mood swings were almost as bad as mine, and as much as I reveled in the idea of falling into his arms and crying to him about my crappy night, I couldn’t just act like he wasn’t a jerk the last time we spoke.

  I scoffed and shook my head. “Do you actually care how I am, or is it a guardian angel rule to ask?” I ripped small blades of grass from the earth, or dream earth, with my fingers.

  I tried not to look at Zander as he stepped closer to me. From the corner of my eye, I could see him sit on the grass beside me, with his legs crossed. “Erin,” he spoke my name as only a breath, as if he had meant to exhale and not say the word.

  I turned my head toward him, and his eyes were closed tight, eyebrows pressed in a peak at the center of his forehead. I wanted to reach out to him and take away whatever caused his stress, even though I was pretty sure I was the main stressor.

  I watched him while he was unaware. At least I hoped he didn’t know that I very openly stared at him. It was my dream. His stubbly face was without imperfections, which I assumed was an angel trait. His light brown hair curled at the tips on top of his head, and was shorter around the sides. His broad shoulders looked strong but sad as they slumped forward in a look of defeat.