“Thirty thousand five hundred.”

  Cold washed through Jerry. She’d had time to look at the store of credits she’d managed to keep for the ships business when she left, and Ursula had burned through most of it to keep herself afloat. Jerry shook her head slowly at him, glancing at her boots under the hem of her pants. “I’ll have to live without, I’m afraid.”

  Even what she earned from Miriam’s newest line of business in the underground wasn’t going to sufficiently fill that gap fast enough to catch Blaise while she was ahead.

  “When would you like the first shipment of salt?” Jerry changed topics.

  “Three days.”

  Jerry nodded sharply. “We can do that.”

  They spent an hour drawing up the contract and signing it. Jerry knew she wasn’t ready to enter back into that partnership, but she had no other choice. Her crew had to eat. She needed fuel for the one ship she still had, and she would need the business to keep her mind off the fact she wasn’t sure she’d ever get Yarrow back in her possession.

  The walk away from Mortimer’s offices at least had lifted her spirits slightly. Dusk fell, and she knew she was hitting the perfect time to find Miriam in a decent mood. It had only been a few days since she’d seen her last, but Jerry could already tell that her crew were struggling to keep up with the change in their prescribed sanity.

  She also wanted to check in and see how much Miriam owed her. Jerry rubbed a knot in the back of her neck as she walked down into the cellar and took the stairs two at a time up to Miriam’s new hideout. She wasn’t fan of it, much preferring the dank basement of the bar much closer to the pier—and fewer stairs. It was really all about having to climb so many damn stairs.

  As Jerry entered Miriam’s small hidey-hole, she let out a breath and shook her head. “Fucking stairs.”

  Miriam snorted but kept her head down in whatever she was working on. “This new line of business is slow to take off.”

  “I thought it might be.”

  “If it’s the only way to survive, one would think they would be open to the how.”

  Jerry grunted and put her hands on her hips as she straightened her back. “We have been taught, morally, do not harm from the day we were born, Miriam. It’s ingrained in our society that we must rely on each other’s aliveness in order to survive. The idea that we must kill, harm, end a person’s life, in order to live is counterintuitive to what we have been taught. That is not an ethical boundary many are willing to cross easily.”

  “They will.” Miriam’s voice was calm, but Jerry knew she was right. As people became more desperate, the sale of brains would pick up, and Jerry would be a rich woman. Rich from the death and destruction of others. Not the way she had thought she’d go out. She could only imagine what they would do to farm out those who needed to die for others to survive.

  “How many credits?”

  “Not many. Here.” Miriam slid a small device over for Jerry to glance at it.

  Miriam had only managed to clinch the sale for three brains. Where those brains had come from, Jerry had no idea, but her stomach clenched at the thought that someone had died—most likely unwillingly—in order to provide life. Her life, which wasn’t worth much of anything was one of those.

  “I need another one.”

  Miriam frowned and finally looked up. She had aged in the last week, well really, the last few months since Jerry had seen her. She hadn’t noticed it before, but the lines around her eyes and mouth were deeper than they had been before. Jerry held her gaze.

  “You have a large crew.”

  “I do, and I have plans in place to take them out, so we need enough to get by.”

  “You’re asking for a lot.”

  “That’s nothing new.”

  Miriam quirked an eyebrow at that. “Do you want your discount?”

  Jerry’s stomach twisted at the thought. Using sex to get what she wanted was something her mother had taught her from a young age. Hell, Miriam had taught them both that lesson, and Jerry had willingly given in to Miriam’s requests to get her off in order to have a cheaper cost to herself.

  Yet with the conversation with Arloa lingering in her mind, she wasn’t sure she could do it. Arloa wanted her, not for this, not to get off and provide a service to each other but for so much more than that. Arloa had willingly given her the information about Wench’s Dream without asking for anything in return. In fact, that had been the case with just about every piece of information or connection Arloa had given her.

  Jerry’s lower lip quivered as she debated what to say, how to get out of it. Miriam let out a wry chuckle as she leaned back in her chair, putting one booted foot up on the edge of her desk, her skirts sliding down, nearly revealing what was between her legs. Jerry’s stomach was still in knots as Miriam slowly shook her head back and forth.

  “Gone and found yourself love, have you?”

  “Hardly,” Jerry answered. “But a regular fuck is hardly anything you can fault me for.”

  “And I don’t,” Miriam answered. “Your mother found one of those once.”

  Jerry knew where Miriam was going with this. The regular fuck had been Jerry’s father, someone she had never met because as soon as her existence had been revealed, he’d gone racing the other direction.

  “He was a handsome fellow. Looked just like you.”

  Jerry hated when Miriam went on this rant, so she stood quietly by, waiting to see how much two brains was going to cost her and if the three they had managed to sell was going to be enough to cover the costs. Two should last her crew long enough, should it? She would hate to take captives solely for the purpose of killing them on a longer journey.

  “He paid handsomely, too.”

  This was the connection Jerry had been waiting for. “And what will it cost me for two?”

  “For you, love, I think what you’ve already put in should pay for it.”

  “Sure.” Jerry dropped the device back onto the desk. “Where are they?”

  Jerry followed Miriam down the flights of stairs until they reached the cellar door. Jerry hadn’t known what she expected, but it was more than to be handed a burlap bag at the entrance. She stared at it before untying the top and opening it. The scent of blood hit her first, and she knew instantly what was in there. She swore she saw two and instantly closed it up again, not wanting to stare too long.

  “Thanks for this.” Jerry bowed her head.

  “Come back when you need more.” Miriam leaned salaciously against the wall, no doubt trying to test Jerry’s resolve to not take the deal on a discount.

  “I’ll see you soon,” Jerry answered, ducking her head as she climbed out. She didn’t want to be there any longer than necessary. She needed Miriam in order to survive, but that didn’t mean she had to like that fact. Her walk back to Calluna was swift, and when she reached the vessel, she was glad to see Yafe was running drills with the crew and getting them into shape.

  She would check in with Azar before the night was over to see how much damage there was. At least she had a contract that would bring in credits again, even if it was less than before. It seemed no matter how much she tried to get ahead, she was only ever sliding backward. Tossing the goods she’d gotten from Miriam into the galley and locking them down in the cold storage, she went to find Azar and Yafe to get a well-rounded picture for when she had to talk to Ursula.

  CHAPTER 13

  They stood topside, staring at Raegina’s harbor. Jerry had told Ursula to meet her up there, and yet once they were in the same vicinity, waiting for the inevitable to happen, Jerry wasn’t quite sure where to begin. She leaned against the railing and held herself up so she could maintain eye contact in the distance.

  “Are you going to give me the boot?”

  “I haven’t decided yet,” Jerry responded, glad to see Ursula understood how serious this was. “I didn’t expect to come back and find this. Yafe’s been poring over the financials, and you started this before we were marooned. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

  “I didn’t think it would matter.”

  At least it was an honest answer. Jerry still didn’t want to look at her. Sighing, Jerry straightened her back and crossed her arms over her chest. “You squandered all the funds.”

  “I know,” Ursula murmured. “I didn’t have a choice.”

  “I can tell you if you do stay on my crew that you won’t have access to those funds any longer. I’m half tempted to just give you the boot to make my life easier.” Management was the part of this job that Jerry hadn’t been thrilled about. When it was her and the crew from Yarrow it was so easy, and she barely had to worry about anything, but buying the second ship and putting Ursula in charge had been her undoing.

  “Understandable. I’m sorry, Cap. Really I am.”

  That was the first apology Ursula had given her for this particular blunder, and Jerry took it to heart. She at least sounded remorseful. The problem with the virus was that it made humanity impulsive, so when they were low on vestigen, things tended to get tricky. Maintaining and controlling themselves was difficult, but add in the hormone deficiency and they were all as good as lost from the start.

  “I want you to work with Yafe on training the crew today. I’m tired of not having people do anything and not knowing what they should be doing. You’ve done a shit job at that.”

  “Aye, Cap.”

  Jerry pursed her lips. “Azar discovered some issues with the engines, which we nearly killed yesterday. He’s pulling a few of the crew to help him work on those, and there is a crack in the hull.”

  Ursula’s eyes went wide. Jerry had figured she hadn’t known that one, but it would easily explain why the ship wasn’t flying well to begin with and why their fuel had leaked massively as they tried to steal a ship they were ill-equipped to.

  “So I’m not getting the boot.”

  “Not for now.” Jerry clenched her jaw, still not sure that was the right decision, but she didn’t have anyone to replace Ursula yet. “But you’re no longer captain while I’m on board and perhaps even after I leave.”

  “You’re leaving?”

  Jerry raised an eyebrow at her. “Yes. I’m going to get Yarrow back.”

  “Are you sure that’s wise, Cap? I mean, we have Calluna.”

  “Which can barely make the run tomorrow to Beren Island for salt.” Jerry put her hands on her hips. “I got the contract back, Ursula, and I plan on keeping it this time. Your idiocy made me lose half the income on that, but at least it’s still income.”

  Ursula’s lips parted in surprise. Perhaps she didn’t realize how angry Jerry still was about the entire situation, how mad she was that she was there cleaning up this damn mess to begin with. Jerry shook her head and clenched her jaw.

  “Go help Yafe. I don’t want to see you for the rest of the day. If I do, I’ll make you scrub this entire deck on your own.”

  “Aye, Cap.” Ursula didn’t hesitate as she turned around and left Jerry on her own.

  That conversation had gone better than Jerry anticipated, although the addition of a few grams of brain matter might have helped it along. She’d put Yafe in charge of distributing that, too. Rubbing the back of her neck, Jerry knew she was going to have to start swinging some responsibility Sacha’s way. She was still slightly bitter over the Damon-betrayal that landed them marooned and partially blamed that on Sacha even if it wasn’t her fault entirely.

  She would deal with that another day. For the rest of that morning, she had a crazy idea that she needed to follow up on and an aristocrat she needed to visit. Jerry checked with no one as she left. She would see how much work they would get done while she was gone. She knew Azar would at least have the hull fracture fixed because they needed that in order to make it to Beren Island. The engines could wait so long as they didn’t push Calluna too hard.

  Rolling her shoulders, Jerry stepped onto the dock. She tipped her hat down to hide her eyes from the rest of the world, not that there were many people out and about like there used to be. Since she’d been gone for months from the time she left to go to Potelia, she distinctly noticed the difference in the number of people wandering the streets now compared to before. It had dwindled slowly, but now it was so obvious.

  The dockmaster barely even came to visit. The stark difference between here and Potelia, where the government provided medication for its citizens, was stark. She stepped off the dock and onto the cobblestone streets. Her boots were sure as she took the most direct path into the center of Raegina.

  Jerry hadn’t had much reason to travel into the center of the city before she met Arloa, and it seemed as though she was making this journey far more often than she’d ever anticipated. Except at one point, she had expected it. She’d even wanted it. Back when she’d first met Arloa, she had thought their fling would last longer than her usual. Arloa was such an intriguing woman.

  She was strong but presented as meek. Her tiny form lent itself well to that. She wasn’t beautiful by the standards of society, but Jerry saw beauty in her every moment of the day. Her lips were not full, her face was slightly askew, and she often left it bare of paint, which Jerry appreciated. They had met in a place where a rich aristocrat did not belong, and yet multiple nights in a row, Arloa had been there waiting.

  Now Jerry was once again trekking her way into the city to see her, into the government building that had tried to throw her out the last time she’d fully made her way inside. This time she didn’t even look like a woman, didn’t present how she was supposed to, and she had no doubt that she would face the same discrimination as she did then.

  Jerry passed through the tall wrought-iron gates to the inner part of the city. They were left open except at night, when she would need permission to slide from one area to the next. During the first phase of the virus they had been completely closed, but as the months had passed, the gates had been reopened since it was rare the rich fell ill. Jerry snorted at that. Something was in their blood that prevented it, something they all had access to that Jerry and her unsightly crew of unmentionables didn’t have.

  Whatever that was remained a mystery, but she didn’t have the time to look into it deeper. Not yet anyway. Perhaps one day.

  Walking confidently to the front of the government building, Jerry made sure to keep her hands out of her pockets and her chin raised confidently. She would not let them turn her away. At least this time, Jerry knew where she was going to find Arloa’s offices. They were hidden away in the back corner of the building like any good woman should be. Wrinkling her nose at the thought, Jerry stepped into the extravagant building and immediately turned to walk down the hallway toward Arloa.

  She had two aims for this meeting, and she would accomplish both of them. She only hoped the second covered up her real aim. Someone shouted at her to stop, but Jerry ignored him and moved forward. She was close to Arloa’s offices. As soon as she reached the door, the man caught up with her. Jerry cocked her head at him and rapped her knuckles against the door. Arloa would answer, and she would take care of everything by letting her in.

  “What’s your purpose in being here?” he asked.

  Jerry shook her head. It was the same damn thing every time. “I’m here to speak with my representative.”

  He glowered. “There are other methods of communication you could use.”

  Jerry grinned broadly. “Actually, I believe Senator Kauket quite likes my methods of communication.”

  She was probably saying too much, and it would give away too much about their relationship. It certainly suggested some things that Jerry wasn’t sure Arloa would want implied, but she couldn’t help herself. It had been too easy, and she wanted to push back at him. She was tired of being treated like the scourge of the planet.

  “Senator Kauket isn’t in her offices this morning,” he responded, as if he knew absolutely everything.

  When the door suddenly opened, revealing a very petite and fiery Arloa Kauket, Jerry’s grin grew broader. “Oh, really? She looks like she’s here.”

  “Is there a problem?” Arloa came out and stood nearly between them. Jerry wondered if she thought Jerry might do something unbecoming.

  The man didn’t budge, which was surprising. Jerry had figured facing the wrath of Arloa would be a good indication he should leave. “She should not be here.”

  “And why not?” Arloa did move between them. “She has every right to be here—as you do—if not more, since we represent her in the law.”

  He didn’t cower. This was going to be a game to Arloa to push him until he backed off. Jerry was going to enjoy it. She stayed quiet, letting Arloa handle the mess of classism that she was born to deal with. Jerry could put it out all she wanted, but since she was the scourge of Penum, she wasn’t someone who could easily change another’s mind on it.

  “She is not welcome here. She’ll infect us all.”

  “Now, Canteron, why would you think that I wouldn’t be the one to infect you? Hmm?” Arloa stepped closer to him, as if a threat of her presence was going to give him the virus they were all afraid of and Jerry lived with. “Does she look infected to you?”

  Canteron lifted his gaze from Arloa to Jerry, and his gaze hardened. “Unregistered citizens, if she even is a citizen, aren’t welcome to the building.”

  “She is a citizen. You can check if you’re that concerned about it. And she is registered.”

  Jerry was surprised by that confession from Arloa because she certainly had not registered for a visit that day. Canteron seemed put off, and he gave each of them a stiff look before acquiescing and bowing his head slightly. “My apologies.”

  “You owe them to her, not to me,” Arloa pushed, apparently not letting him off the hook.

  Jerry enjoyed this side of Arloa, the protective part, the person who was forceful in her defense. Jerry loved that side of her in an entirely different situation, too. Though she wasn’t about to share that with their audience. As soon as Canteron left, Arloa dragged Jerry into the offices by her hand and shut the door quickly.