What the hell was she supposed to do with it all? One minute she was captain of a ship, the next she had been marooned for five damn weeks, then she’d lost her other ship to the captain she’d hired. Within all of that was the drama of love, something Jerry adamantly didn’t want in her life, especially not with a government official. Too many things to trace back to her that could land her in Joab.

  “Hey, Cap. Got a minute?”

  Jerry tilted her chin down and spied Vivian, standing with her hands folded in front her, nervously brushing her thumb against the tops of her knuckles, and her lower lip pulled between her teeth. Instantly curious, Jerry raised an eyebrow and nodded toward the empty spot next to her.

  Vivian sat, brushing her hands under her ass as she went. Jerry missed seeing her in the beautiful dress she had purchased for her, but pants were far more practical for what they were planning. Jerry stayed put, leaning against the back railing as if she had all the time in the world, which she supposed she did. The sound of wind rushing against the ship, bowing around it as it moved, the engines barely whirring as they held their position above the sea’s waters, and the waves moving gently against each other was so damn soothing. She should sleep out there instead of in her cabin.

  When Vivian didn’t immediately start the conversation, Jerry let the silence linger. She was technically not on duty at that moment, but as captain, she was always in charge and there when one of her crew needed her. There was no off button in her profession. Jerry stretched her legs out in front of her, closing her eyes and focusing more intently on the sound of the water below them. Sometimes she could barely hear the raging waters of the ocean, when there was a storm or when they were moving swiftly for an escape from whatever chased them.

  Jerry eased the muscles in her body, still wondering when Vivian was going to start talking about whatever it was she’d deemed necessary to break Jerry’s silence. Finally, as the sun dipped all the way below the horizon, Vivian’s voice filled the quiet space between them.

  “I’m almost finished with the bug.”

  “And you think it’ll work?” Jerry eyed Vivian curiously. While engineering and mechanics had always been her forté, programming and the science behind all the technology that made ships run was not.

  “I don’t know.”

  Despondent, Vivian refused to look Jerry in the eye. For someone typically so confident in her abilities, it unsettled Jerry that she wasn’t sure about this one in particular. They hadn’t worked together for very long, but Jerry had been there when Vivian had been saved from the virus overtaking her body. It wasn’t that long ago, only half a year by her memory, but Vivian had proven to be an asset to her little crew.

  Jerry frowned and glanced in Vivian’s direction. “What’s wrong with it?”

  “There’s no way of testing it.”

  “But outside of testing it, it should work?”

  Vivian’s mouth pulled tight to one side, and she waggled her head back and forth. “Without testing it, I don’t know if it’ll work.”

  Jerry sighed. That was a bit of a conundrum because they certainly couldn’t test it without Yarrow in their possession. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

  “Aside from it simply doing nothing, it can get into Yarrow’s systems and destroy some of the coding already in place, making her unable to fly or at worse, sinking her.”

  Jerry’s stomach flopped at that. She didn’t want to sink the ship that she had spent so much time, effort, and money to save. To sink a ship was the end of a ship. The ocean below would eat it in a heartbeat, destroying everything in it, even if that was them. “Is there a way to stop it should it not be doing what is expected?”

  “I haven’t been able to program that in yet. I want to, but if we find Yarrow before I do, then there won’t be a failsafe.”

  Jerry rubbed circles in her temple as a headache formed. Everything seemed to slip through her fingertips, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to get it back. First it was Yarrow—actually, it was her life. The life she had worked so damn hard to take back and have under her control. When the virus had hit, her life had taken a dive into the underground, a place she had emerged from and never wanted to return. But such was the way of things, she supposed. She still hated it.

  “How much time do you need to create one?”

  “A failsafe?” Vivian’s light hazel eyes turned on her. At Jerry’s nod, she continued, “Another week at least. This bug was a lot more complicated than I originally thought it would be. Keying it to a specific ship without being on that ship stretched my abilities.”

  “I understand.”

  “But I can do it, Cap. If you want me to, that is.”

  Jerry nodded. “I do.”

  “Okay.” Vivian shifted, as if she was about to get up, but Jerry put her hand out in front of her to stop her. “Cap?”

  “Would you mind…staying here for a bit?”

  A flash of worry crossed Vivian’s features, but she rested against the railing. “Sure. Any reason in particular?”

  That had been what Jerry wanted to avoid. While the solace was nice, she really needed to talk to someone about anything other than the ship, Blaise, or Arloa. Vivian was the easiest option since she was there, but equally, Jerry figured she could outsmart her enough to avoid those topics. “Just want to get to know my crew better.”

  “Right.” Vivian’s lips twitched into a smile. “You seem to know Yafe, Sacha, and Azar well enough.”

  “They served with me on Yarrow, so of course I know them well. And Yafe I knew before I hired her.”

  “You knew Ursula before, right?”

  “Yes.” Jerry didn’t hesitate to answer because it wouldn’t matter if she told the truth. Enough talk had happened about her relationship with Ursula for it to be confirmed easily enough. “I met Ursula when I was fifteen.”

  “Really?” Vivian looked intrigue now. “How’d you meet?”

  Jerry chuckled lightly. “She was trying to work for Miriam.”

  “What?” Vivian’s eyes widened. “What for?”

  “She wanted to be one of Miriam’s whores.” Jerry wrinkled her nose at it. Her own mother had taken that job, so it wasn’t because she thought of it as a lowly or unworthy position, but the thought of selling her body for credits was beyond how she wanted to spend her life. It was never a safe position to be in. “Miriam wasn’t too keen on her, something about the way Ursula spoke to her I guess? I’m not entirely sure, but after Miriam told her no, she and I became fast friends. I was working on leaving Miriam’s inner circle at the time.”

  “You were part of her inner circle? That’s hard to believe.” Vivian crossed her arms as she stretched out her legs and crossed her ankles. She looked absolutely relaxed.

  Jerry wished she could have that much ease in talking with someone, especially about her own past. She doubted very much that she’d ever succeeded in getting out of Miriam’s inner circle, but at least she wasn’t considered a regular employee any longer—although with their current arrangement for brains, that could be another mark against her. Should the authorities find out about that one, they wouldn’t even bother to keep her in Joab. It’d be straight to the plank for her.

  “Did you grow up in Raegina?” Jerry asked, changing the topic slightly. “Until you were infected, I’d never seen you around the harbors.”

  Vivian shook her head slowly, her curls bouncing with the movement. “No, I grew up in Cantren in the Kilgorii region.”

  “Really?” Jerry faced her. “I never would have guessed that. You don’t look like you’re from there.”

  “My family is from here, and my father wanted me to get a proper education, so he sent me to Raegina for finishing school. I finished.” Vivian winked. “But I hated it.”

  “I imagine so.”

  “I used to make modifications to the center’s artificial intelligence for the fun of it.” Vivian giggled, the sound pure and innocent in a way Jerry envied. “Then some started to pay me to make certain modifications. That was how I figured out I was good at this kind of stuff.”

  They couldn’t have been that far apart in age, now that Jerry thought about it, but Vivian had the innocence of growing up in a stable home with a family who cared about her where Jerry hadn’t been given that opportunity. Her mother had done her best, yes, but that had still come with a great number of sacrifices and shattering worldviews.

  “My mother was sixteen when she gave birth to me. She worked for Miriam until she died.”

  Vivian’s eyes went wide. She hovered her hand over Jerry’s forearm until Jerry nodded at it and she clasped Jerry’s wrist. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Nothing that wasn’t expected when you’re in her line of work. She was one of Miriam’s whores, which is how I knew Ursula never had what it took to be one.”

  “So you grew up—”

  Jerry nodded and interrupted her. “Yes, I grew up with Miriam always around somewhere. Sometimes we stayed at one of her houses, but a lot of the times my mother would be leased to ships for weeks or months at a time.”

  “I’ve heard about ships having that, but I’ve never witnessed it.”

  “It was outlawed centuries ago, but the underground always finds a way to profit on what is outlawed.” Jerry reached over and covered Vivian’s hand with her own and squeezed lightly. She was thankful for the touch, but at the same time, speaking of how she was raised only pushed her to realize she wasn’t like everyone else.

  “Seems we fall into that category, don’t we?”

  Jerry hummed her agreement. “I used to think this was the way to live. I went to Joab for two years.”

  Vivian hissed.

  “Exactly,” Jerry concurred. “I got out and swore I’d never go back. I got my cards, I found legal work, I had enough saved up to buy Yarrow with some help from Miriam, and I swore I’d never pirate again.”

  “And then the virus?” Vivian surmised.

  “The virus.” Jerry snorted out her frustration. “I got it from a man named Matthew Laurier. He had fast become my favorite crew member, but before we could take our second run to Beren Island, he succumbed to the virus.”

  “So many people have.”

  Jerry ignored that sentiment. She felt it, but she didn’t want to delve into that emotion more than she had to. To think of the life that had passed away because of this damn virus was too much, and yet, they still had to survive through it all.

  “Captain?” Vivian’s full use of her title caught Jerry’s attention. “Why do you want Yarrow back so badly?”

  Jerry blew out a breath and broke her grasp from Vivian’s, realizing far too late that they were still holding hands. She centered in on herself, digging deep into that desire, to try and put it into words. It had been so long since she’d managed to truly say it. She’d touched on the subject with Arloa, but she knew without even having to think too hard about it that Arloa hadn’t fully understood.

  “Growing up the way I did, moving from whorehouse to whorehouse and from ship to ship, I never had a home. Miriam might have been called that, the underground for sure, but it wasn’t one thing that I could distinctly call mine. Yarrow was that for me.”

  Vivian stared at her. Jerry knew it without even having to look over. The feel of her gaze on Jerry’s face was so strong in that moment, the confession true as it rang through the night air that chilled faster than she had anticipated it would.

  “Yarrow is my home, and when Captain Blaise stole that, he took everything from me. I will get her back. I have to save her.”

  “You speak as though she’s a person.”

  Jerry faced Vivian then. “A ship is a person to her captain. She has to be. We have to work in sync with each other, take care of each other. We live and breathe by each other. She’s my first true love.”

  “And is the woman who owns this ship your second?” Vivian’s eyebrow rose, but Jerry sensed she could avoid answering if she wanted or simply refuse and Vivian wouldn’t push it.

  “She is,” Jerry admitted. “Though I know it won’t last.”

  “How do you know? I’ve loved before and lost before, but I don’t know, it all seems so strange at times.”

  Jerry smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I know because I’m a pirate and I’m a captain. No one can love me for long.”

  “That’s quite a fatalistic point of view.”

  “It’s the truth.”

  “She works for the government, your woman, right?”

  “She does. Which is another reason I know it won’t last. At some point, she’ll have to catch me.”

  Vivian chuckled lightly. “You wouldn’t imagine what some of those government types get up to.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When I was in finishing school, I did a little more than modify the systems at the school.”

  Jerry narrowed her gaze and shifted to look Vivian full on in the dim light that shone from the moon. “What did you do?”

  “I toyed with the government systems. I wanted to see how easy it would be to get into them. I had to sneak in through the sewers in order to hook up to their system, but there was a direct line from that little shop by the government building, the one that sells those fancy glasswares.”

  “I know the one.”

  “In the cellar, there’s a tunnel that leads to the sewer system that used to be used centuries ago, and I would take that and walk right into the main government building.” Vivian looked so damn pleased with herself.

  Jerry could have laughed. For a woman who was set up to succeed and be in the upper class, she sure had fallen, and it seemed as though she’d done that willingly. “What exactly did you do while you were there?”

  “Oh, tinkered with a few things here and there, especially at night when the building was largely empty.”

  “And what did you discover?”

  “There’s a senator there who would frequently invite women into his offices only to fuck them.”

  Jerry laughed, remembering her own time fucking Arloa on her desk a few months prior or in the carriage as she went from one government building to the next. They had been some of the most pleasant and arousing experiences of her life. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

  “Doesn’t it? And if I told you all these women were from the lower west end?”

  That peaked Jerry’s curiosity. The lower west end was the poorest part of Raegina, but they weren’t known for prostitution. “Why from there?”

  Vivian lifted a shoulder and dropped it. “I don’t know. Some fetish he must have.”

  Jerry didn’t answer, the thought spinning in her mind.

  “And you know what else I found?”

  “What else?” Jerry usually wasn’t one for gossip, but since the government was much closer to her now than before, she might as well take the information that she received and hold it close. Who knew, it may come in handy someday.

  Vivian grinned broadly from ear to ear. “I’ve never told anyone this.”

  Jerry gave her a pointed but silent look to tell her to spill the information already.

  “I was able to connect with Senator Riley’s communicator, and I overheard him talk about this special project he’s been working on. It sounded really big.”

  “When was this?” Jerry frowned, trying to put together any more information she could find.

  “Two years ago now. But he was talking about how the equipment broke or something but that he couldn’t order a replacement because someone would get suspicious. It was about that time the connection was severed, so I never found out what he was talking about.”

  “Interesting.” Jerry wouldn’t give it more weight than that until she knew there was something else to go with it. There were many government projects that she would expect to be worked on in secret so it didn’t surprise her that something like that would happen, though figuring out the extent to which Vivian would go to find information was far more helpful to their current situation.

  Vivian shivered, and it was the perfect segue to ending the conversation and taking over her turn in the wheelhouse. “It’s getting cold outside. We should go belowdecks. I want to check with Azar anyway.”

  “Yes, Cap.” Vivian easily shifted from the friendly conversation back into the roles they were prescribed.

  Jerry nodded sharply after they stood and walked directly to the wheelhouse, not looking over her shoulder as Vivian followed. Jerry shook her head at Azar, still mystified by Vivian’s audacity and curiosity. It would certainly come in handy someday.

  CHAPTER 21

  In the silence of the wheelhouse, Jerry rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck. She was tired of waiting around. She wanted to find Wench’s Dream, and she wanted to bring Yarrow home. Up ahead was a small cluster of islands—if they could even be called that. They weren’t much bigger than a rock and certainly not big enough to hide a ship in, but Jerry had yet to find anywhere else on their maps where Blaise could have hidden.

  Azar returned, a food packet to his lips as he ate his dinner and watched Jerry maneuver the vessel closer to the cluster. She was going to find Yarrow before they had to return to Raegina to restock on supplies because she wouldn’t be able to do that without getting held up by the authorities.

  “What are you looking at?”

  Jerry scrunched her nose. “Something about this quarter here is off.”

  Azar narrowed his gaze and leaned in to look at the readout Jerry had pointed to. “I noticed that the other day.”

  “I’ve never flown this way before. Usually, I stick just outside the borders unless I’m on a run.”

  Azar gave her a knowing look, as though he was well aware what she did with her ships, which was true. They’d flown together long enough at that point.

  “Right, anyway, I thought I’d check it out. I can’t see anywhere else they would hide.” Jerry moved their vessel in closer but still kept some distance. She grabbed her telescope and put it up to her eye, looking through the small glass.