Who she wanted to be.

  Other than mom to two adults who were severely traumatized. Other than the one who came in to clean up all her family messes.

  She wanted freedom from those responsibilities.

  It was time to take her clothes off, so to speak, and be completely bare. Tia was someone worth knowing, wasn’t she? She just had to figure out who she was. Which was easier said than done. Pursing her lips, Tia shook her head.

  “I hated you for so long, but you know what? I’m done hating you. I’m done letting you ruin my life.”

  Turning on her toes, Tia stomped back to her car. She slid behind the wheel and went straight to the studio. She wouldn’t go back there. Something inside her clicked. This was the last time she was going to step foot near his grave, and she didn’t even feel guilty about it. Blowing out a breath, Tia parked and walked into the studio.

  This was her second home, though her first home was an apartment upstairs. It had been the best decision to move in there after the girls were grown and out of the house, after she’d really figured out that they wouldn’t be coming back permanently. Tia smiled at that. They were both living their best life, and Tia was still doing the exact same thing that she had been doing for fifteen years.

  Teaching.

  Some competition.

  Being alone.

  It was time to change it up. She deserved love just like anyone else, and it was finally time for her to explore that. She deserved to have a life that was all her own and no one else’s. Life wasn’t all just about work. She needed more.

  “Sorry if I’m early.”

  Tia jerked her head up, her heart in her throat as she spun around to face the door. She hadn’t even realized someone was there. She didn’t even remember leaving the main door unlocked.

  “I thought I could sign up.”

  Tia searched for the woman’s name. She wasn’t prepared to entertain anyone just yet. She hadn’t pulled herself together yet. She never forgot names, especially of someone so cute, adorable, and definitely anxious.

  “Remind me of your name again. I’m sorry, my brain’s not quite functioning up to par yet.”

  “Oh.” The woman’s cheeks tinged red, which matched perfectly with her auburn hair that was loose around her shoulders. The flush looked like it belonged there. “Saylor McGinnis.”

  “Oh! That’s right!” Tia cringed. She should have been more careful, but she really wasn’t in the right mindset to do this right now. “So you enjoyed the class you joined us for?”

  “I did.” Saylor’s voice was so gentle and soft, as if she wasn’t quite sure what she was saying or that she was confident in what she wanted. “I miss being active.”

  Tia’s lips curled up. Perhaps Saylor was right and that was exactly what she needed too. A night out on the town, dancing into the wee hours of the morning. Maybe picking up a woman or two in the process. It had been a while since she’d allowed herself time to explore another person’s body in just that way.

  “Well, I’m glad you’ll be joining us.” Tia riffled through papers on her desk, finding the sheet with all the classes on it and then the paperwork to sign up for classes. “We have an improv group that meets on Tuesdays if you ever want to join. No requirement to participate, but it’s always better to have someone in the audience to watch our fumbles.”

  “Do you dance for those?”

  Tia twitched, making eye contact with Saylor. Saylor’s light brown eyes were wide, as if she was asking something neither of them fully understood. Tia handed the papers over and sat down in her chair. Just what was she feeling? Because her foray to the cemetery earlier was still putting her on edge.

  “I do dance for the improv nights when I’m not working the music.”

  Saylor nodded, her lips pulling tight and her cheeks still holding that nice rosy tint.

  “Did you want to sign up for just the formal class?”

  “If that’s okay?”

  “It is. There’s room in every class, always. And if there isn’t, well then, I make room.” Tia winked, hoping that would ease some of Saylor’s obvious anxiety. Except it seemed to have the opposite effect. Saylor tensed up, her lips pulled even tighter than before.

  Tia really should be more careful, but there was something about Saylor that put her in an awkward spot. Neither one of her girls ever suffered from anxiety. Fallon was as bossy as they came, and Monti always had a quiet and calm confidence that couldn’t be shaken. Tia had dealt with nerves before competitions but never as such a regular occurrence.

  “You’re welcome to any of the classes. When you register, it gives you access to all the classes I offer. And if you want to start with some competitions, you just need to let me know, and I’ll start to pair you with other competitors. I also offer private classes, if you’re interested in those.”

  Saylor shook her head. “I think just this class for now.”

  “All right.” Tia tapped the papers. “Go ahead and fill out the registration forms, and I’ll take your payment information. It’ll come out the same day every month.”

  Tia did some extra work on the computer while Saylor did all the paperwork. By the time Saylor was done, Tia was expecting one of her smallest classes of the week to begin. She had the music already picked out, knowing they’d work on the same thing they had the week before. It was one of the classes she didn’t enjoy because so many of them were inconsistent.

  “Want to stay for this next class?” Tia asked.

  Saylor paled. “Oh um…what class is it?”

  “Just a basic introduction to ballroom. You’re too advanced for it from what I saw, but you can stay for my secondary ballroom after this one.”

  “And dance the whole night away?”

  Tia’s lips twitched. Was Saylor finally finding her voice and comfort? “If you want, I’m sure that can be arranged.” She added a wink just for fun. Saylor seemed like someone whose shell was thick and had a lot of layers she needed to pull back. Monti would tell her Saylor was like an onion.

  “Oh. No. I shouldn’t be out all night.”

  “Well, come on and join.” Tia stood up and started toward the dance floor. “It’ll be more fun with you than without.”

  Why was she being so flirtatious? Well, she was in general, but something about flirting with Saylor felt different. It felt intentional and purposeful. Tia almost held out her hand, waiting for Saylor to take it, but she resisted.

  “But I haven’t even paid yet.” Saylor pointed to the computer.

  Tia frowned. “It’ll go through when it goes through. Besides, I enjoy your company. I think you have a few more surprises up your sleeve that you haven’t shown me yet.”

  Saylor’s jaw dropped. “What surprises?”

  “Well, you said you did competitions for skating, so this timid act you’ve got going on now can’t be all there is. I’ve been a competitor, and you have to be strong to do that.”

  “This isn’t figure skating.”

  “It’s not,” Tia agreed, cocking her head to the side as she studied Saylor. “Are you saying if it was, then you would be a different person?”

  “I am a different person on the ice.”

  “You’ll have to show me sometime.” Tia stood by the door. “Come on. I need to set up.”

  Tia walked out, anticipating that Saylor would follow her. She didn’t strike Tia as someone who broke the rules ever. That could be fun to play with too. If she could ever get Saylor to an improv night, she’d have to make up the rules as she went, and it could be very interesting to see the results. Saylor finally joined her on the dance floor.

  Tia started the music and then snagged Saylor’s hand and spun her around, taking the lead role. Saylor furrowed her brow, but after a moment of tension, she relaxed slightly and looked Tia directly in the eye. This was who Tia saw underneath, just a glimpse of the confident, curious person that Saylor could be when she gave herself over to whatever she was doing.

  “Ready?” Tia asked, her voice breathier than she expected. What was going on with her today? She was all over the map with her emotions. “We can get through the whole song before everyone shows up, I bet.”

  “I’ll take you up on that.” Saylor’s jaw tightened, but her gaze was determined.

  Tia raised her arms into position and held onto Saylor firmly. She could do this. As soon as the next beat hit, she pulled Saylor closer so their bodies pressed tightly together. This felt amazing. It had been a long time since Tia had danced like this with another woman. She’d taught, yes, but Saylor wasn’t here to learn specifically.

  As the music reached deep into her soul, swirling and capturing her in the moment, Tia moved. She slid her foot along the floor, letting the vibrations of the music come to life within her. She would have closed her eyes, let the energy flow through her, but the way Saylor was looking at her was filled with both trepidation and awe. Tia slid her fingers from Saylor’s hand, trailing it up her arm to her shoulder and the back of her neck. It was almost as if they were in a lover’s embrace, which was the exact intention of this song.

  Tia slowed her breathing, easing into the moment as she took the first steps and spun around the dance floor. Saylor followed her lead perfectly. They pushed together and apart, Tia spun her around, caught her, pulled her close so their breasts smooshed together before sliding away again and stepping back. The music called for passion, for strength, for the tedious dance of romance. The fights, the tension, the worries and anxiety, but also the love, the flirting, the adoration built in.

  As the song ended, Tia stepped back. Her eyes were locked on Saylor’s amber brown ones, her auburn hair as it stuck to her slightly parted lips. Tia was about to speak, but she had no words. Something had happened in these few moments. Yet everything in Tia’s body told her to run the opposite direction and create as much space between them as possible.

  Clapping echoed through the classroom, and Saylor jerked with a start, the trance broken.

  “I didn’t expect a show when I came in!”

  “Kirsten.” Tia twitched, a cold shock running through her. She breathed out slowly. Of all people to show up first, it would be her, and it would ruin everything about this moment. Then again, maybe that was a good thing. Normally, Tia would provide introductions, but she didn’t want Kirsten to get her claws into Saylor. Not now.

  Not ever.

  “What a show.” Kirsten’s voice grated on Tia’s nerves. This woman never got over things, did she? To be fair, Tia should have known better. “And who is this?”

  Tia looked Saylor directly in the eye, hoping that Saylor would understand. But the look she got back was filled with confusion. They didn’t know each other well enough to have any kind of silent communication down yet. Then again—that dance certainly blasted that theory to hell.

  “I’m Saylor.” She plastered on an uneasy smile and leaned toward Kirsten, putting her hand out.

  Kirsten looked Saylor over with a judgmental glance and then pinned Tia with a look that said really? Well, yes, really. Saylor was an adorable mess of anxiety and nerves that seemed to completely vanish when she was filled with music and in the moment, doing what her body did best.

  Move.

  “You’re early for class,” Tia said as she stepped toward the stereo system to turn the music off. They didn’t need to listen to it on blast.

  “Seems I’m missing the private lesson.”

  Tia bit back her retort. She didn’t want Saylor to catch a whiff of just how mean she could actually be. Sighing, Tia held back her annoyance. “Saylor’s a new student. I was testing her skill level.”

  “Seems she has skills for days.”

  Why wasn’t Saylor saying anything? Nothing to defend herself. Tia managed to glance at her, and the look of horror on Saylor’s face said everything. She was devastated. She was embarrassed. And she wanted to run away.

  “Are we learning that little move you did at the end? That was sexy,” Kirsten’s voice dropped, as if she was making an innuendo where there was none.

  “No,” Tia answered sharply.

  Saylor straightened her shoulders as if she had made a decision. She turned on her heel and started toward the door. Tia shot Kirsten a look of absolute disdain. She didn’t bother telling Kirsten to fuck off. Instead, she followed Saylor toward the lobby and snagged her arm just as she was about to leave the studio.

  “Don’t leave on account of Kirsten.” Tia rushed the words. “She’s a brute.”

  “She’s rude,” Saylor responded, her lower lip quivering.

  “She is,” Tia agreed. “And I put up with it.”

  “Why?”

  That was a really good question, and one that Tia wasn’t ready to delve into. Not yet. Not today of all days when everything was so topsy-turvy and she was glad just to be standing on two feet right now. “Stay for class. Please.”

  Saylor held her breath, her lips pressed together in a thin line. All the ease they had gained before was gone, and Tia wanted it back. She wanted the closeness, the touches, the connection they’d had on the dance floor. “I’ll be at class on Wednesday.”

  Tia released Saylor’s arm as if she’d been burned. Her heart ramped up, forcing its way into her throat and clogging up everything she wanted to say. She nodded sharply. “Promise?” Why was she pressing so much? Tia had never been this concerned about a student returning for classes. At least not when they barely knew each other.

  “I promise.” Saylor’s lips gave a small quirk until Kirsten’s voice echoed through to them. Then Saylor’s gaze faltered, and her face fell again.

  “I’m looking forward to it.” Tia took a deep breath and rolled her eyes when Kirsten called for her again. “Seems the devil waits for me.”

  “Me too,” Saylor mumbled, but Tia wasn’t sure she’d heard correctly. She was just about to speak up when Saylor slipped through the front door.

  “You too?” Tia bit her lip and shook her head before turning on her toes. “Seems the devil’s out for blood tonight.”

  “What was that?” Kirsten asked.

  “Nothing.”

  three

  “I’ll get back late Sunday night.” Jameson set another folded button-up into his small suitcase.

  Saylor had seen him pack and unpack that thing a dozen times already for his various work trips. They had thought her moving here would make it so they could see each other more, but Saylor wasn’t sure if that was actually the case or not.

  Maybe it was just this soul-crushing loneliness.

  Maybe it was the fact that in Seattle, Saylor had no one except Jameson.

  Her entire life hinged on him.

  She frowned and folded her hands together as she sat on the bed, half-reclined. She knew this was his job before she’d moved there, before she’d agreed to marry him even. It was how they’d met, during some of his travels, but that didn’t make this easier.

  “What’s wrong?” Jameson closed up his suitcase and slid onto the bed next to her. He wrapped an arm over her shoulders and tugged Saylor into his side. “You seem down.”

  “I am down,” she mumbled and tried to hold back the tears. “I’ve been here six weeks, and I don’t have a job, I have no friends, and I don’t know anyone. I mean. It’s been six weeks, I’m not expecting a best friend to just pop up out of nowhere, but without even having work friends…”

  “It’s hard,” Jameson murmured and dropped a kiss into her hair.

  These were the moments she missed with him the most. She wanted more of this. Every day of this. Of feeling like she was so cared for and the center of his world. They’d gotten engaged as a way to make her parents happy about her moving so far away, but they planned on a long engagement. They hadn’t even talked about wedding details or set a date yet. Maybe that’s what she should focus on since she couldn’t find a job.

  “I miss home,” Saylor whispered. She missed having things to do and people to see.

  “Maybe you should call Callie.” Jameson trailed his fingers through her hair, but it wasn’t as comforting as she wanted it to be. She felt more distant from him now than ever. “She always cheers you up.”

  “Yeah, she does.”

  Jameson kissed her head again, hard enough to push her back a bit. Saylor would normally lean into him, accept the kisses and the touches, but she couldn’t bring herself to do that this time. She couldn’t force herself to turn to him for comfort, especially when he was leaving again. It wasn’t because she was mad at him. In fact, it might simply be because she was jealous.

  He had friends.

  He had a life.

  He had work.

  She had him, and that was it.

  “I’ve got to get going.” Jameson took her chin and turned her face to kiss her lips swiftly. “I promise I’ll call you when I land. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He always did. Saylor wasn’t worried about him. She was worried about herself. She needed to get out of this funk she was in. The door shut behind Jameson, and Saylor stayed exactly where he left her for another hour before she managed to drag herself to the bathroom for a hot shower.

  When she got out, she had two texts from Jameson, explaining to her that it was normal to feel lonely after such a long-distance move, that she would find a job and make friends eventually, and that he wasn’t stressed because she wasn’t working yet. He really was trying to be sweet, but it seemed to land dully and wasn’t much help. Saylor didn’t even bother answering as she lay back on the bed with the towel wrapped around her middle.

  She should go to class that night.

  It would help, wouldn’t it?

  She’d promised Tia that she would be there after basically running out scared shitless when Kirsten had walked in. Why had she done that? Something about that entire interaction between Kirsten and Tia had seemed off, and it had set her on edge.

  She really hoped that Kirsten wasn’t part of this dance class, and that Jericho was there. God, she needed friends. Saylor was just about to start getting some dinner ready when her phone rang. She saw Callie’s name on the screen and grinned broadly. Callie always knew when to call.