Saylor breathed relief. So much tension had been piled up in her chest, and immediately it released. Had that really been what was holding her back from this tough conversation? Had it held Jameson back any?

  “Just do me a favor…” Jameson trailed off.

  “Sure. Anything.”

  “Don’t bring her here.”

  Saylor jerked her chin up in surprise. She shook her head in confusion before it dawned on her. “Tia?”

  “I don’t think I could handle that.”

  “Yeah. Sure. No problem. I don’t even know if I’m going to see her again.”

  A tightness pulled in her chest. She knew that wasn’t true, but she meant it in terms of a romantic relationship. She still had her competition with Steven next week, and Tia would be there as their coach. They would see each other at least one more time before Saylor made a final decision on her life and where she was going to live next.

  “I’m pretty sure you will.” Jameson walked around the kitchen counter and into the bedroom. He came back with his small suitcase and his work briefcase. “Stay as long as you need, Saylor. There’s only one way to go from here.”

  “Which way?” She was desperate for an answer. Plotting this part of her life hadn’t been in her plan for the future. She was supposed to have already done this.

  “Whatever way is the best way for you.” He smiled at her, setting his things by the door before standing next to her chair. “I’ll be honest, I’m a bit relieved by all of this.”

  “Relieved?”

  “Yeah. I think it’ll be for the best.” Jameson cupped her cheek lightly and kissed the top of her head. “I’m not mad.”

  “But you’re hurt.”

  “So are you,” Jameson responded.

  Why was he being so cool with this? She’d expected anger and distrust, and to be kicked out on her ass. But this? Compassion? Understanding? They hadn’t had that since she’d moved here, had they? Or had she just told herself that Jameson had become someone different than she knew before? Had she ignored all the signs of compassion he’d given her? Like being patient with her finding a job. Like encouraging her to go out and make friends. Like sitting down and truly listening to what she was struggling with.

  Saylor pressed her lips together hard. It had all been there. She just hadn’t seen it—or wanted to see it. Her anxiety made that difficult on a good day and impossible on a bad day. And she’d had a lot of bad days since moving there.

  “We’ll get through this,” he said.

  “Yeah, I think we will,” Saylor answered, though she didn’t believe it fully. She wanted to. She really did. But history told her that hoping for something better was pointless in her case because it would never happen.

  “And I think you need to talk to Tia. I think she’s worried about you.”

  Saylor frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “She showed up here trying to find the costumes for some recital. Did you tell her you were making them?”

  “Weeks ago, yeah.” Saylor squinted. Tia had lied to him? What did she really want?

  “Then she’s probably trying to figure out where they are. If there’s one thing you’re not, it’s flakey. You always follow through with your commitments. So if you promised her costumes, you better get sewing.”

  “Uh…yeah.” Saylor stretched out the words, still not quite sure what to say. “Jericho did say she might have a connection to get me a job.”

  “Oh?” Jameson stepped back and finished his coffee. He rinsed out the cup in the sink. “Where would it be at?”

  “Some call center.” Last night when Jericho had suggested it, the idea hadn’t sat well with Saylor. But today, in the light of being sober and newly single, it didn’t sound awful. She’d probably still need a roommate to be able to afford any apartment in the city though. And the idea of living with a roommate didn’t sit well with her.

  “Sounds like a promising possibility.”

  Saylor looked Jameson over, then glanced down at her hand. The ring with the diamond glinted at her, as if mocking her. Instantly, she wanted it off and gone as quickly as possible. But she took her time. There was a finality to sliding the ring from her finger, to setting it on the counter in front of Jameson where he could take it if he wanted.

  They both looked at it.

  Silence rang through the kitchen, etching its way around Saylor’s soul. She firmly believed that this wouldn’t be the last time she had a ring on her finger. She still had hope that she would find love someday. But it just wasn’t right with Jameson.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I wish I’d figured myself out sooner.”

  “Yeah, that would have been nice.”

  Saylor glanced up to find him smiling at her.

  “But we can’t all figure ourselves out on our eighteenth birthday. Can we?”

  “Guess not.” She gave a wry smile.

  “I’ll text you to let you know that I got into Atlanta.”

  “Thanks.” She was glad they wouldn’t be forgoing those things. Whatever their relationship was now might fizzle later, but at least there wouldn’t be a sudden cold cutoff of friendship. Because they had been friends before they’d dated. They had liked each other at some point. Perhaps they could simply get back to that.

  “See you around, Saylor.” Jameson walked around the kitchen counter and to the front door. He left the ring in plain sight in front of her.

  “Have a safe trip.”

  And then he was gone.

  Saylor found herself in the deafening silence again, except this time it wasn’t oppressive or overwhelming. This time it was comforting. Picking up the ring, she took it to the bedroom and slid it into the box. She put it onto Jameson’s nightstand and then stripped and headed into the shower.

  It was time she started to figure out her life.

  It was time she took control.

  It was time.

  twenty-eight

  The competition hall was filled with a clutter of noise. Tia had come to expect it after all the years she’d taught and participated. It warmed her heart to see so many people clamoring together to elevate each other in dance.

  Tia smoothed her hands down the sides of her dress as she stepped into the main hall. She checked her watch before looking around to see if she could find Saylor and Steven. They should be arriving soon. Tia had come down the day before to stay the night and visit with some friends, trying to clear her head from the rollercoaster she’d been on lately.

  Portland had always been a nice escape, so when the chance to come down for a competition had happened, Tia had jumped at it. She would use it as a much-needed break. And with Saylor in the mix—well, it was a break for sure.

  After doing three circles of the room and still not finding them, Tia’s stomach twisted with worry. They only had fifteen more minutes to register before the event would close and the first dancers would start. Worrying her fingers together, Tia reached for her phone and stopped.

  Should she even try to call Saylor?

  Would she answer?

  “Tia.” Saylor’s voice reached her ears, but it had such an anxious tone to it.

  “Saylor.” Tia breathed out her name, relief flooding her chest when her eyes landed on Saylor, dressed to the nines in a beautiful gown with her hair curled and plastered with hairspray just like Jericho must have taught her.

  “Steven’s not going to make it.”

  “What?” Tia’s eyes widened, the anxiety Saylor must have been feeling settling deep into her stomach.

  “There was an accident on the highway, and he’s stuck behind it. I must have slid through right after it happened. They’ve completely shut down and even with a detour, he’s not going to make it in time for registration and—”

  “Saylor,” Tia interrupted the rant. She took a deep breath and snagged Saylor’s fingers, curling their hands together. “You can’t compete without a partner.”

  “I know. But I don’t know what to do.”

  The idea edged its way into the forefront of Tia’s mind, but she didn’t want to say it. Being that close to Saylor wouldn’t do her any good. And she was there to coach, not participate. Tia looked around the room, dancers stretching and preparing for their routines. The noise of voices and music overwhelmed her now, a panic setting into her chest.

  “Dance with me,” Saylor whispered.

  “What?” Tia spun around and faced Saylor full-on.

  Saylor stepped closer, a hand on Tia’s waist sliding around to the small of her back. It was an intimate move, one that spoke of a closeness they hadn’t had in weeks now. Saylor’s breath was hot against Tia’s ear, sliding down her neck and below the line of her dress. Their chests brushed with each erratic breath, and Tia’s entire body was on fire already.

  “Dance with me,” Saylor whispered again, this time with a seductive quality to her tone. “You know the routine, there’s no rule against two women dancing together—Steven checked.”

  “Saylor…” Tia trailed off. She drew in a breath and got nothing but the scent of Saylor, pure and simple. Tia closed her eyes, trying to block that scent from her body, but it was already too late. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “It’s the only way I’ll compete tonight.”

  “We don’t have to do this…” Tia turned her cheek, pressing it into Saylor’s, her eyes still closed as thoughts raced through her brain and sensations swept through her body.

  “I think we do.”

  Humming, Tia held still. “Are you sure about this?”

  “More than ever.”

  Pulling back, Tia looked Saylor in the eye, judging whether or not Saylor was telling the truth. Something had changed in Saylor’s gaze, something confident bubbling to the surface in ways it hadn’t before. Nodding slowly, Tia steadied herself. “All right. Let’s do this.”

  “Are you sure?” Saylor’s eyes widened with curiosity.

  “No.” Tia’s lips curled upward. “But let’s try it.”

  Were they even talking about the competition?

  Not hesitating again, Tia tightened her grasp on Saylor’s hand and pulled her toward the registration table to get into the line. They would need to run through the routine up until they were called just to make sure they didn’t miss any steps and had all of the moves down.

  It wasn’t long until they were out in an empty hallway, spinning and dipping. Tia’s heart raced as she held Saylor close to her before pushing her away just like the steps told her to. Saylor stumbled and nearly fell, but Tia caught her just in time.

  “I think we should take a break,” Tia murmured, holding onto Saylor’s waist to make sure she didn’t fall again. “Get some water. We’re almost up anyway.”

  “Yeah. Sure.” Saylor’s cheeks were red when she turned away and snagged the water bottle from the floor near the wall.

  “We’re not going to perfect the routine in the next five minutes.”

  “I know,” Saylor answered, that whine back in her tone. “But I think we can still be better.”

  Tia’s stomach twisted at that thought. Was this Saylor in full competitive mode? If it was, then no wonder she’d been a force to be reckoned with on the ice. Tia cooled her throat with her own bottle of water and closed her eyes. She needed to calm her nerves and let herself focus on what needed to happen.

  “Is this you trying to get out the last-minute jitters?”

  Saylor’s voice startled her. Tia cut her a sharp look and nodded. “Of course. Do you just barrel through them?”

  “Of course.” Saylor winked and grinned broadly as she stared at the door that would lead them into the competition hall.

  Was this fake bravado?

  Or was it full-on confidence in a way that Tia had never seen from her student before?

  Either way, it was unnerving, especially coming from a woman who usually couldn’t see through the fog of her anxiety. They stepped into the hall together, side by side, and ready to face whatever was going to happen next. They weren’t likely to win, but they would compete and they would complete the routine one way or another.

  “Next time, I want to be able to watch everyone else.”

  “Next time?” Tia parroted.

  “Oh yes. You didn’t think one competition was going to be it for me, did you?”

  “I didn’t think you were coming back to the studio,” Tia answered honestly. She’d waited for a call or a text and had all but given up on it happening. Since Saylor and Steven had been practicing outside of the class, Tia had all but written Saylor off. She’d had to in order to protect her heart.

  And this little bit of hope wasn’t doing anything to help her put up those barriers.

  Neither was dancing with Saylor again.

  All it was doing was bringing up feelings that Tia had taken great pains to settle and push down. It would take twice as long now to get back into the same headspace she’d been in before.

  “Tatiana Schroeder and Saylor McGinnis from Follow My Lead in Seattle.”

  “That’s us,” Tia whispered.

  She bent to set her water bottle down next to Saylor’s and then took Saylor’s hand, wrapping their fingers together tightly. Tia led them onto the dance floor, playing the role necessary to get through the next four minutes and twenty-eight seconds.

  She slowed her breathing.

  Saylor’s scent surrounded her, along with the feel of her skin against Tia’s hand, the warmth of her body from the workout they’d already managed to sweat up in the hallway. Tia’s muscles were going to ache by midday tomorrow in the sweet way they always did after the stress, anxiety, and wonder of a competition.

  “Ready?” she murmured into Saylor’s ear as she took up her position.

  “Yes,” Saylor whispered back.

  The music reverberated through the dance hall. Tia sucked in a sharp breath and blew it out slowly as the fourth beat hit and slid her hand down Saylor’s arm to grab hold of her fingers. She pulled Saylor’s hand toward her face, pretending as though she was going to kiss her knuckles.

  And she stopped.

  There was no ring.

  No diamond winking back.

  No possession that she couldn’t have.

  Tia raised her gaze, looking directly up into Saylor’s eyes. Was she single or did she just take it off for the competition?

  How had she not even noticed before?

  Tia stepped in close, the routine calling for them to hold onto each other and they spun gently in a circle first. She wanted desperately to ask Saylor, to get an answer, to know what the hell was going on. The flirting. The touching. The confident streak that Saylor suddenly had.

  They spun in a circle slowly, then quickly. Tia locked her gaze on Saylor’s, holding steady. They needed to look completely into each other, as if they were each other’s worlds. That had been what was wrong during their practices. They weren’t tuned in to each other, and it hadn’t been Saylor’s fault either.

  Tia refused to break eye contact. She followed her instincts, she let Saylor lead as much as she was. They moved together, sliding their bodies across the floor as the music demanded. Tia kept her breathing even as she twirled Saylor out then tugged her back in.

  Saylor’s shoulder rested against Tia’s chest. Tia dropped her chin, that scent overwhelming her completely now. She had so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to ask, but she couldn’t do it. Her arms around Saylor felt perfect, the way they were wrapped together, sliding against each other, moving to the beat that was solely for them even if it hadn’t been at first.

  They desperately needed to talk.

  Tia brought her hand up to touch Saylor’s cheek as the song ended. She held still, waiting for the dance to officially be over, but holding Saylor’s gaze, hoping the look said more than words could for right now. She wanted her look to say so much.

  Curiosity.

  Compassion.

  Love.

  Tia’s breath came in short rasps as she lowered her hands to her sides and stepped away. Saylor didn’t break eye contact. Not until they had to. Tia curtsied toward the judges and took Saylor’s hand immediately, dragging her out into the hallway.

  She wasn’t going to stay and wait for answers.

  Not now.

  Not ever again.

  “Tia, they haven’t announced the score yet.”

  “We didn’t win,” Tia mumbled as she pushed her way through the double doors and into the hallway they’d practiced in earlier.

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes. I do.” Tia tugged Saylor’s hand, trying to find someplace more private. This conversation didn’t need to be broadcast throughout the dancing community.

  “Tia!” Saylor’s voice was sharp. She ripped her hand from Tia’s and halted any forward movement. “I want to know our score.”

  Tia shook her head. “I’m not coming after you again.”

  “You won’t have to.”

  Saylor’s lips curled up in a gentle, serene smile. It suited her so well. Tia wanted to dive right into that feeling and bathe in it. But she hadn’t found it in ages. And yet Saylor had. Somehow in the last few weeks, she’d managed to come into her own in a way Tia hadn’t thought was possible. Definitely not that quickly.

  “Do you trust me?” Saylor asked.

  “Yes.” Tia could answer that one. Not once had Saylor lied about her intentions, her curiosities, or what was going on in her life. She’d held back. She’d avoided. But she’d never lied.

  “Then let’s go see the score.” Saylor took Tia’s hand again, lacing their fingers together. They walked side by side back into the competition room.

  The screen on the far side of the wall displayed their score. It was a good score, considering they’d never done the dance together before. But it wasn’t a winning score either. Tia leaned in and pressed her lips to Saylor’s cheek.

  “I hope that’s okay.” Tia kept her voice quiet.

  “More than—”

  “Tia!” The voice was shrill, but Tia recognized it instantly.

  Abigail Benson.

  “Abigail.” Tia gripped hard onto Saylor’s hand, refusing to let go. She knew exactly where this conversation was headed before it even happened.