“Hey,” Saylor said as she answered the video call and set her phone against a candle she’d placed on the table when she’d moved in.

  “Hey!” Callie’s smile was bright. Her face lit up the screen, and immediately Saylor relaxed. “Jameson texted.”

  “He’s so sweet.” Though Saylor wasn’t sure she wanted him to be doing that. She wanted autonomy. But if her mood was bad enough that he was talking to Callie, then maybe it really was that bad.

  “He is.” Callie grinned. “You snagged yourself a good one there.”

  She had. But some days, well most days, she just felt like she wasn’t giving him what he needed. She wasn’t as compassionate toward him as she could be, she wasn’t as interested in things like sex and kissing and touching. He wanted all those things all the time, and since moving in together, it was startlingly obvious that Saylor struggled with that.

  “Saylor…” Callie trailed off. She looked over her shoulder and then clearly walked from one place to another. She settled onto her bed, and her joy from before was replaced with utter concern. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know how to explain it.” Saylor bit her cheek. She played her fingers over the table and stared at the bowl of ramen she’d made. She hadn’t even touched it, and her stomach wasn’t even rumbling. She had no desire to eat, which really wasn’t a good sign for where this was headed. She’d been here before.

  “Just try. I’m here to listen.”

  Saylor sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping. She hadn’t talked to anyone about this. She was barely even recognizing it within herself. She’d been so focused on finding a job and making friends, on attempting to make this entire move worth it in the end. She closed her eyes as tears formed on the brims and her nose stung.

  She really didn’t want to cry.

  Not again.

  “Oh my God, he is an asshole! I knew it!” Callie nearly shouted.

  “No, no, it’s not that.” Saylor waved her hands before wiping her eyes. “I didn’t realize how hard moving was going to be. And you know, when you go from a relationship that’s only long-distance to suddenly living together, it’s hard. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, and the other half, I’m just trying to stay out of his way.”

  “Out of his way?” Callie’s brow furrowed, a deep line forming in the center. “He should be pampering you, taking you on dates, spending as much time with you as he can. He should be all over you right now.”

  And that was part of the problem, but how did Saylor even begin to put words to it? She didn’t want him all over her. She valued her independence and the ability to do exactly what she wanted when she wanted. Not that she was particularly risky in her behavior, but she just wanted to be doing what she always did.

  “Now you’re scaring me. You’re not usually this quiet.”

  “I know.” Saylor brushed her fingers under her eyes again. “I’m starting to regret moving here.”

  Starting was wrong. She’d been regretting it the moment she’d stepped foot in Seattle. She wasn’t built for this. She wasn’t prepared for it. She didn’t want to be here anymore.

  “Oh babe.” Callie’s face fell. “You can always move home if it’s that bad. I’ll even fly out there and help you. Brady will help too. But you haven’t been there that long, you know?”

  “I know.” Saylor bit the inside of her cheek. The apartment was silent, still, and claustrophobic. She’d never felt this stuck before. She was so used to being free in whatever she did, but now, she felt like she had to ask Jameson when she wanted to do anything since he was the one financially supporting her. She hated this. “I just need a job.”

  “You need anything to get you out of that apartment.”

  Saylor pressed her lips together hard.

  “What’s that look for?”

  “Well, I did go to a dance studio and sign up for classes.”

  “See! That’s a start!” Callie grinned again. She was always a perpetual well of joy. Saylor envied that. “When’s the next class?”

  Saylor glanced at the clock on the microwave. “In an hour.”

  “Are you going?”

  “I hadn’t decided yet.” She’d actually decided not to go, despite promising Tia that she would. Something about that last exchange had her stomach fluttering like an idiot. She wasn’t sure she wanted to throw herself back into that chaos so quickly without figuring it out first.

  “You’re going. What are you wearing? What kind of dance?”

  The hundreds of questions flew in an instant. Saylor laughed lightly as she answered them all, still sitting at the small table Jameson had shoved against the wall in the kitchen area and not touching her dinner. It was a cheap meal, but she didn’t want to burden Jameson any more than she already was.

  “So go get dressed!” Callie squealed. “Come on, I want to see your outfit for the night.”

  “It’s just leggings and a shirt.” Saylor rolled her eyes.

  “I want to see it!”

  Groaning, Saylor walked to the bedroom and put the phone onto the nightstand, facing away from where she was changing. She’d never felt comfortable changing in front of people. Even when she was still skating, she’d always gone into a bathroom stall to get ready. She didn’t want people to see her body or to leer. When she was all done, she popped back onto the screen and put her hands out to her side, spinning around so that Callie could see her outfit.

  “Sexy lady!” Callie giggled.

  Saylor laughed, a genuine smile on her lips for the first time in what felt like days. She rolled her shoulders and snagged the phone, flopping on her back onto the bed. It had never felt like her bed. Everything in this apartment was Jameson, and even the little touches she’d brought and the things from home weren’t enough to make this her home.

  “I can see you’re still debating whether or not to go.”

  “I probably will until I walk into the studio.”

  “But you went to one class, right?”

  “I did.” Saylor sighed heavily, remembering Jericho who had been so warm and welcoming, along with Tia. But that dance with her, when it was just the two of them, that was something else. Saylor had never felt so alive before, so in tune with the vibrations and beat of the music, so in tune with another person’s body and the way they moved. In skating, she’d never been interested in doubles. And maybe this was why. She didn’t want to have to rely on someone else.

  “So that went well?”

  Saylor snapped back to the conversation, remembering all too late what had sent Callie on her tirade. “Yeah. It was fine. There was a woman there who was nice to me.”

  “Make friends with her. Or at least try.”

  “I will.” Though the words slipped through her lips they felt like a lie. She had been trying, and was making no progress.

  “It hasn't even been two months,” Callie’s voice sobered. “Give it some time. I read somewhere that it takes three years to really settle in when moving.”

  “Three years?” Saylor’s eyebrows rose. “I can’t do this for three years.”

  “Jameson’s not any help?”

  Saylor pursed her lips. “He’s always working and on his trips. That’s part of his job, and I get that, but he’s not around as much as I thought he would be.”

  Callie frowned. “I’m sorry it’s so hard, babe. I really wish I was there to help.”

  “But you have your own life.” Which was exactly the problem. Callie was planning her wedding and Saylor wasn’t there to help out with it. She’d left everyone behind, and it was so hard to keep those relationships going. It hadn’t even been that long and they were already struggling. Saylor cringed. “I’ll be out to visit soon, I promise.”

  “I know you will. I do miss you, Saylor.”

  “I miss you too.” Those tears she’d narrowly avoided before were back. The conversation was ending, and she feared that the friendship was also coming to a close. She didn’t want that. She needed Callie in her life.

  “Go to your class, Saylor!” Callie demanded. “And then text me all about it when you get home.”

  “You’ll be asleep.”

  “I don’t care.” Callie pointed her finger at Saylor. “If I don’t wake up to texts, then it didn’t happen, and I’ll have to come out there and beat your ass to make you go.”

  “I don’t think that’s the exact threat you want to give me.” Because if Callie could come out there, Saylor would do anything to make it happen.

  After their conversation ended, Saylor stayed on the bed, staring up at the ceiling in the silence of the room. What was she doing here again? Jameson was gone all the time, and she was more lonely than ever. Turning on her side, Saylor curled into a little ball and let the warm tears slip from her eyes and fall onto her pillow. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could do this.

  Maybe she should get a cat.

  Except Jameson was allergic.

  She hated this.

  Callie: Your ass better be out of that bed already.

  Saylor stared at the text message. Callie knew her too well at this point. She took a couple more minutes before forcing her body to move. It was so hard just to get her arms and legs to do what she wanted them to do. She rolled her shoulders, filled her water bottle, and snagged her jacket.

  She could do this.

  She really could.

  Maybe.

  four

  “That’s a wrap for the day!” Tia clapped her hands together, her chest heaving from that last move.

  Her students were all in just about the same state as she was, some more labored than others. Tia worked to slow her breathing, grabbing her water bottle and letting the cool liquid slide down her throat. Jericho grabbed Saylor’s hands and spun her in a happy little circle.

  Tia smiled at them. She had no doubt that Jericho had a bit of a crush on Saylor, but Jericho seemed to start with crushes and move to friendships later. The crush Jericho had on Tia had lasted a little longer than others, but it had eventually faded into a friendship that Tia could handle. Though the woman had an abundance of energy. Tia was certainly jealous of that.

  Her students lingered for a little before snagging their jackets and bags and heading out. However, Saylor seemed to be talking to just about everyone, hanging out awkwardly as others finished conversations and disappeared out the door. Tia locked up the stereo equipment and held her water bottle close to her chest as she walked toward the lobby area.

  Saylor didn’t even have her jacket on.

  Sliding her gaze down and up Saylor’s body, her tight curves, her hips accentuated by the leggings she wore, her hair pulled back but with small strands flying around because of their exertion, Tia could imagine that look on her for an entirely different reason.

  What?!

  Tia straightened her back and frowned. She wasn’t thinking about another student in that way. Kirsten was enough reason as to why. Not to mention, she was too old for young love and too young for a second chance at love. She sighed heavily. Her brother really had thrown her life for a loop, hadn’t he?

  Dating someone her age was next to impossible because they all had the experience of families and relationships that she didn’t have. And yet, dating someone who didn’t have those experiences left them too young to have a full understanding of the reality of the world. Tia had never been able to figure out how to navigate that, so she’d turned to short flings, no strings attached, and the unattached life she’d created for herself.

  “Is everything okay?” Saylor asked, her cheeks still red from the workout. Her skin was so pale compared to what it probably should be, but Tia hadn’t been able to put her finger on why.

  “I was going to ask you the same question.” Tia twisted the top off her water bottle and took a long sip before twisting the cap back on. “Want to help me clean up?”

  “Sure.” Saylor seemed to relax at the invitation.

  Was this Saylor’s way of avoiding going home? If it was, Tia could play into that for a while. She had more than enough work to do to prepare for her classes tomorrow, so she might as well get a hand while she was at it.

  Tia set her water bottle down and went to the custodial closet to bring out the broom. She handed it over to Saylor while she took a cloth and spray to clean the mirrors. She’d done it a few days before, but she might as well do it again to keep herself busy. And this way, she could watch Saylor in the mirror to make sure everything was okay.

  Something about Saylor’s mood seemed off.

  It had since the moment she’d stepped into the studio that night.

  They worked in silence for close to an hour before the floor and mirrors were clean. Tia’s skin had cooled and the glistening sweat had dried up. Putting everything away, Tia put her hands on her hips and narrowed her gaze at Saylor.

  “So why are you avoiding going home?”

  “What?” Saylor’s head jerked back slightly.

  But Tia wasn’t going to repeat herself. She was pretty sure that Saylor had heard her, she was just surprised at being called out on it. When Saylor didn’t say anything, Tia gave in and touched her arm lightly. “Want to get a drink?”

  “I…” Saylor glanced toward the door. She sucked in a deep breath, her chest rising with the motion as she held it tightly before blowing out a puff of air. “Yes.”

  “Good. Let me grab my jacket and lock up.” Tia wasn’t sure what that whole conversation was about, but she for sure was going to find out. Rolling her shoulders, she changed her shoes and snagged her jacket before locking the office. “Ready?”

  “Uh-huh.” Saylor already had her jacket zipped up tight. She seemed suddenly nervous again. “I thought Jericho might want to go out.”

  “She has a big date with her boyfriend every two weeks.”

  “That’s what she said.” Saylor sounded disappointed as she stepped through the main door to the studio.

  Tia locked up behind her and led the way out onto the street. “There’s a bar a few blocks down. It’s not posh and not grungy.”

  “Sounds perfect.” Saylor couldn’t even look Tia in the eye. She shoved her hands in her pockets, stared at her toes, and started walking in the direction Tia led.

  They were nearly shoulder to shoulder, the dark sky surrounding them like a cocoon of damp, chilled air. But something about this felt warm and comforting. Tia wasn’t sure what to say though. Saylor had to be handled with care, since she seemed skittish when they ran up against her anxieties.

  “Here it is.” Tia held the door open as they slipped inside. The damp air from the gentle rain was constant this time of year, and it clung to Tia’s hair.

  Saylor slipped past, her arm brushing against Tia’s front in the tight confines of the doorway. It sent a ripple of pleasure through Tia’s body, one that she readily schooled. She wasn’t here for that. She was here to take care of a student who seemed lost, lonely, and scared to go home. She wouldn’t ever let anyone have the same fate as her late sister-in-law and her nieces. She’d vowed to step in whenever she could.

  Maybe that was all this was with Saylor.

  They slipped into chairs at a small table in the corner. The table was worn down, the top sticky from years of use and spills, but it was clean. Tia ordered a beer, and Saylor mimicked the request. Shucking her jacket, Tia crossed her legs and eyed Saylor over again.

  “You’re staring at me like I’m a piece of meat.” Saylor shut her mouth tightly, as if she hadn’t quite been expecting herself to say that.

  Tia’s lips twitched upward. “I’m curious why you don’t want to go home, but I’m not sure if you’re ready to answer that question.”

  “Oh.” Saylor frowned, her hands twisting together on the tabletop. “Jameson is away on business again.”

  “Again?” So it definitely hadn’t been what Tia was thinking. Saylor wasn’t afraid of being beaten—well, at least not that night.

  “His work takes him all over the world, mostly within the US and Canada, but he’s gone a lot.”

  “So you don’t want to go home because…” Tia nodded to the waiter as their drinks were set in front of them. She took a long sip of her beer, but she didn’t drag her eyes away from Saylor’s face. She wanted to know where all this pent-up emotion was coming from.

  “Because I don’t want to be alone.”

  “Ah.” Tia set her pint onto the table a little harder than she’d intended. She was making up problems where there were none—another one of her issues any time she was in a relationship and why it was a very good reason to steer clear of them. “How long will he be gone?”

  “A week and a half this time. He’s gone more than he’s home. I moved here to spend more time with him, you know.”

  “And that’s not happening,” Tia concluded. The conversation seemed to be flowing now, which was a good thing. Tia could hang onto this. She could figure out exactly what Saylor needed and move into how to help. Then Saylor could lean on Jericho when she was available instead of Tia.

  “It’s not. And I don’t have a job. I spend so many hours holed up in that apartment on my own, and I just… can’t stand to go back there. I hope that makes sense.”

  “It does.” Tia smiled, knowing exactly what Saylor was talking about. “When my nieces moved out, finally, it was like the house was too quiet. I hated it. I had to move back into the city to get out of there.”

  “That’s kind of you to let your nieces live with you. Were they in college at the time?”

  “Uh…no.” Tia needed to sidestep this conversation. Saylor wasn’t ready to hear that story yet. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say that Tia wasn’t ready to share it. She hated talking about her family and explaining just how screwed up her brother was. “But they’re adults now and living on their own. Monti, my youngest niece, just moved back to town, actually.”

  “That must be nice to have family around.”

  “Some days.” Then on other days she hated being so close to the memories of what her brother had done. That seemed to be coming up a lot lately. She needed to shift her thoughts in a different direction. “How long have you and Jameson been engaged?” Tia nodded toward Saylor’s ring finger, where the diamond sat against her skin, encompassed by a silver metal.