Tess tried to be diplomatic. “I’m sure she has a nice personality.”

  “Maybe. But you know what I’m sure about? That’s an awful dress. It was on sale, that’s for sure.” Her eyes kept scanning. “What do you know about that fellow Paprika’s with?”

  “Not much. They met on an online dating site. She seems smitten.”

  Louetta frowned. “It’s clear from looking at them, he is too. But I get bad vibes around him. Do you?”

  Martha Maye spoke around a bite of cupcake. “Mama, stop it. He’s a nice man. I’ve talked to him, and I’ve talked to Paprika. He’s perfectly harmless.”

  Virgil and Caledonia walked in, and Louetta did her best to keep a smile on her face. Her best wasn’t good enough. Before the couple joined the group, Martha Maye whispered, “Be nice, Mama. Do it for Caledonia.”

  Virgil greeted everyone with, “I see y’all got your heads together. You must be cuttin’ up somebody pretty good.”

  Louetta shot back, “Yeah, we were talking about the moral fiber of politicians. Or lack thereof.”

  Virgil nodded to Martha Maye. “You look like the murder victim I just saw.” He laughed, but nobody else did.

  “Go for the jugular, Mama,” Martha Maye amended quietly, and then to Virgil, “Whatever do you mean?”

  “She had orange icing around her mouth too. Are you feeling all right? You never know. Maybe those Killer Cupcakes really are killers.”

  Martha Maye wiped her mouth and held out a plate of cupcakes. “Have one, won’t you?” The smile on her face said she hoped the Killer Cupcakes would work their magic on Virgil.

  “Do they know who the victim is?” Tess asked.

  “I don’t know. I left while the Keystone Cops did their thing.”

  Louetta took a cupcake from the plate. “Here. You really should have a cupcake.” She shoved the entire cupcake—icing first—onto his mouth and ground it into his face. Then she leaned in to his ear. “You don’t come in here insulting every member of my family and expect to walk away unscathed.”

  “Louetta, the rumor is true,” Virgil said around the mouthful of cupcake. “You talk so much your tongue is sunburned.” Virgil turned on his heel and stalked off toward the bathroom, wiping icing off his face.

  Caledonia looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry, y’all. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

  Louetta harrumphed. “Same as always. He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow. Just what do you see in that man?”

  Caledonia exchanged a look with Tess, but her tone came out as lame as her answer. “He can be very charming.”

  Louetta snorted. “Yeah, well, if I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.”

  When Virgil came out of the restroom, he saw Buford Goodwin in the crowd and motioned to meet him in the alley. Two minutes later, he did.

  “What’s up, Virgil? You’re taking a risk talking to me like this.”

  “Oh, everybody’s all engrossed in the dead body over there or the good food in there,” he motioned one way and then the other. “Which is why I wanted to talk to you. Buford, are you outside your mind?”

  “Well now, Virgil, I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

  “Was that some sinister warning you were sending me, putting that dead body outside my office? It was you, wasn’t it?” Virgil’s arms were flailing left and right as he grew angrier. “You got BB’s rattling around in that head of yours? I swear, if stupidity hurt, you’d go through life on a morphine drip. You nip this in the bud right now, you hear? You can’t keep doing this.”

  Buford held up his hands. “There’s no gain with no pain.”

  “All right. I get it. But four’s enough. No more, you hear?”

  Buford gestured like he was swatting a fly. “We just have to make sure the health department doesn’t change their mind, and I’ve got an in there. After the election, we can begin cleanup and construction. Long as Jack stays compliant, we’re good to go.”

  “All right. I’ll put a bug in Louis’s ear to get moving on a closing date.”

  “You know, we could always slip Jack some Goose Juice. He wouldn’t cause us any problems then.”

  Virgil pointed at Buford. “Don’t you dare. No more deaths.”

  Buford smirked. “Maybe just one more.”

  “Maybe no more,” Virgil shouted to Buford’s back.

  Seventeen

  Sooner or later everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences.

  –Robert Louis Stevenson

  Late October, one week before Dead Virgil

  As Daisy lugged a garbage sack to the dumpster in the alley behind the store, she saw Virgil’s car approaching. She’d done her best to be overly friendly, bordering on flirtatious, with Virgil. She didn’t want to come on too strong too fast with him, but Paprika had been on her case to make a move.

  It’s now or never, Daisy May, she told herself. Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she slowed her pace so she would reach the door to their building at the same time he did.

  She put a hand on her hip and cocked her head. “Well, hello there, handsome.” She almost followed those words with vomit.

  Virgil’s eyes showed surprise, but the rest of him remained cool as a cucumber. “Hello yourself, hot stuff. When are you going to bring me some cupcakes? I heard they’ve been cleared as the cause of death of the alley victim.”

  “They have indeed. When are you going to come in and buy some cupcakes?”

  Virgil pulled out his wallet, took out a ten-dollar bill, and handed it to Daisy. “How about you deliver however many that’ll buy?”

  She shot him a suggestive look. “Oh, I charge for delivery.”

  He studied her, trying to decide if she was serious.

  “But maybe you could pay for the delivery with a little smooch right here.” She pointed her finger at her cheek.

  His right eyebrow arched. “What’s gotten into you, woman?”

  She swung playfully from side to side. “Life’s just going good for me right now, that’s all.”

  “Why don’t you deliver the cupcakes, and we’ll see what we can do about paying the delivery fee?”

  She waggled a finger at him. “Playing hard to get. I like you, Virgil.”

  “Maybe you could spread the word with the voters.” He held the door open for her.

  She looked over her shoulder as she went through the door. “I’ll sure do that.”

  Something didn’t smell right. Daisy had always been a little cold to him, and now she was a full-blown flirt? He wondered if Caledonia were testing him again. He leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling. He couldn’t recall ever seeing Caledonia and Daisy talking together, but he supposed it was possible.

  “Well, two can play at that game,” he said out loud to himself. He hatched a plan and then sat at his desk and waited for the fly to come to the spider.

  As he waited, he looked out the big picture window behind his desk and saw Buford and a stocky man with a limp walking past Caledonia’s dress shop. His forehead wrinkled as he wondered who the man was. He shrugged. Who cares. That Buford’s a weird duck, but he gets business done.

  A few minutes later, Daisy came into Virgil’s office holding two chocolate cupcakes and some change. Virgil stood up, walked to the door, and shut it firmly. Keeping his hand on the knob, he turned toward Daisy, his back to the door hiding his hand that turned the latch to lock the door.

  “Come in. Sit down. Can I offer you a drink? What goes with chocolate cupcakes?”

  “I can’t eat your cupcakes. Believe me, I’ve got plenty of my own.” Daisy patted her flat stomach.

  “Oh, come on. Don’t make me eat alone.” He pulled a chair around so it was close to his and motioned for her to sit. She did so, and he stood behind her and began to massage her shoulders. He felt her stiffen and then relax.

  “You’re so tight. You need to loosen up. You’re working too hard.”

  Her head lobbed from side to side as he massaged. “I can’t remember the last time I had a massage. That feels wonderful.” His desk backed up to the large plate glass window that looked out onto Caledonia’s dress shop. She could see the tops of the buildings from where she sat. Seeing Dress Me reminded her what her mission was.

  His fingers kneaded her shoulders, and he leaned down until his lips touched her ear. “There’s more where that came from.” He came around her to sit in his chair, and when he did so, their knees touched. Neither made a move to shift. He eyed the cupcakes she’d placed on his desk. “Those look good enough to eat—and so do you. You’re quite fetching.” His hand had gone to a cupcake, but he put it down, leaning forward and moving his hand to her leg.

  “So what really brings you here?” His hand lightly massaged her leg just above the knee.

  She sat back a little bit, looking startled by his question. “I . . . um . . . you asked for cupcakes,” she stammered.

  “Oh yes, I remember now.” His hand slid an inch up her leg.

  “I think maybe this is why you came up here.”

  Daisy stood, having to push the chair back to extricate herself from the tight quarters Virgil had placed her in. “It’s been nice . . . um . . . getting to know you. And thanks for the massage.” She hitched a thumb over her shoulder. “I need to get going. I have a batch of cupcakes in the oven.”

  She’d reached the door. Her hand on the knob, his arms shot out over her shoulders, and his hands braced against the door. His body pressed against hers. She tried the knob and sucked in her breath when it didn’t turn. His hand reached down to take hers off the knob, and he twirled her slowly around until their faces were inches apart. He raised her hands above her head and held them against the door with his hand. She was a tough woman, but with his body holding her still and his hand keeping her hands above her head, she felt extremely vulnerable. She didn’t want to do anything to ruin this charade. She had to go through with it for Caledonia. But she was seriously regretting flirting with the man.

  “You forgot the delivery fee.”

  “Oops. So I did.” She angled her face, hoping he would only kiss her cheek and let her go.

  His finger came up to her chin and turned her face back to him. He kissed her, mashing his mouth hard against hers. He had her pinned against the door, and she couldn’t move. He moved his hands to her waist and kissed her with so much vigor they started to list to the side. They broke apart before they fell down.

  “I’ve been wanting to do that since I first laid eyes on you. You’re a very sexy woman.”

  Her brows furrowed and her insides screamed. In a calm voice that Daisy wasn’t sure was possible, she said, “I thought you were seeing someone.”

  “And yet you still flirted with me.” His hand stroked her neck. “Besides, I’m seeing but not married. We’re not even exclusive, really.”

  He was still holding her in place. Everything in her was screaming to break free. But she wouldn’t allow him to see her sweat. In a strong voice, she said, “Really? Does she know that?”

  “Forget about her. I do—frequently. Meet me for a drink. Tomorrow night? Eight o’clock? I’ll pick you up. I’ve been wanting to try The Drunken Goose.”

  She eyed him for several seconds. “Unlock the door and I’ll give you my answer.”

  “Give me your answer and I’ll unlock the door,” he countered.

  She prayed he was telling the truth and nodded. “All right. I’ll meet you. But you have to be on good behavior.”

  He unlocked the door and turned the knob. “Nobody ever had any fun doing that.”

  Daisy rushed down the stairs, flew through the door to her bakery, and swept past her mother behind the counter. She lightly registered the blur of someone else standing off to the side before she rushed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

  A few moments later, she could hear her mother through the door. “Is there a tornado coming or something? What’s got you in a huff?”

  “Nothing, Mother. I’m fine. Just had to go pee.”

  She stood before the sink and ran the water, splashing it over her face, wishing she could take a shower but trying her best to wipe off any traces of Virgil. Plucking several paper towels from the dispenser, she blotted her face and stared into the small mirror over the sink. The man made her skin crawl. How could anyone be that self-assured yet so repulsive?

  She threw away the paper towels and took her phone from her pocket.

  “Paprika? You’re right. The man is dispicable. I’m fixing to faint.”

  “Daisy? What in the world happened? You sound frantic.”

  “I feel frantic. That man was repulsive, but I got the date. He locked me up in his office and refused to let me out until I agreed to meet him for drinks tomorrow night. He pinned me against the door and . . .”

  Paprika pressed her to finish the sentence. “What, Daisy? What did he do?”

  She turned on the water and stuck her lips under the faucet, washing out her mouth as best she could. With disgust, she said, “He kissed me. And for a minute there I thought he was gonna do a whole lot more.”

  “Oh no, he did not.”

  “Oh, but he did. And he didn’t seem too attached to Caledonia either.”

  “That cad. But at least you made a date. When and where?”

  “Tomorrow night, eight o’clock, at The Drunken Goose.”

  “Is that the one out toward Bugtussle?”

  “That’s the one.”

  “We’ll be there. Don’t you worry. You won’t have to put up with anymore unwanted advances from Virgil Pepper.”

  Daisy shook her head slowly. “The things we do for sisterhood.”

  “I know, girl. You’ve earned a Purple Heart tonight.”

  “Is Caledonia going to be okay?”

  “I tell you what; it may sting a little, but she’ll be better off without him than with him. See you tomorrow night.”

  “Paprika?” Daisy blurted out before her friend could hang up.

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t be late, okay?”

  She ended the call, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Standing in the hall right outside the bathroom was Hank. She stopped abruptly and stared. She studied his face, and she knew.

  “You heard my conversation in there?”

  He nodded. “You want to tell me about it?”

  Yes. She wanted to run into his arms and never let go. She wanted to get lost in his eyes. She wanted . . . So many things with this man that could never be. A year ago she had been a strong, independent woman in a tough man’s world. Now she was a mom and a business owner. And Virgil had really rattled her. In a weak moment, she relented.

  She slid a hand in her back pocket and peered up at him. “Can I buy you a cupcake?”

  He smiled down at her. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  It was late October, and the weather, along with the trees, was glorious. Daisy got two cupcakes and two plates and led him to the small patio area in the back that she’d set up with a few tables and chairs. She made sure that Virgil’s window above them was closed, and in a low voice, she told Hank about her and Paprika’s plan to catch a rat.

  “I know it’s gonna hurt like a mother–” she stopped herself and started again. “It’s going to hurt like a son of a gun, but Paprika says there’s no other way. Caledonia needs to see who this creep really is.”

  Hank cracked his knuckles. “I could have a talk with him.”

  “Thank you, but no. It has to be this way.”

  “You make a narcissist like Virgil mad, you’re taking on a nefarious opponent. You sure you want that? He won’t take being humiliated twice lying down. I’ve heard things about him. After what you described that just transpired in his office, I worry for you. Once narcissists can’t control you anymore, they try to control how others see you.” He popped the last bite of chocolate cupcake with buttercream icing into his mouth.

  She touched his hand. “That’s very sweet.”

  “I could just happen to be out at The Drunken Goose tomorrow night. I know you don’t need a bodyguard, but I’d feel better if I was there.” His eyes pleaded with her to say yes.

  She raised a shoulder. “Well, I can’t stop you from going out for a drink.”

  He beamed. “Maybe after you put Virgil in his place, we could grab a drink together?”

  Except I’m a murderer, and you’re the law.

  But sitting there on that golden fall day, looking into his eyes, she couldn’t for the life of her think of a reason to say no.

  “Sure,” she said quietly.

  Eighteen

  The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

  –Gloria Steinem

  The next night, six days before Dead Virgil

  Paprika decided a surprise, not an ambush, was called for in this instance. She would not tell Caledonia the real reason for going out for a drink. And they’d get there after Virgil and Daisy did. That way, it would look like a coincidence when they walked through the door and caught the lying, cheating, dirty worm in action.

  At five minutes after eight, she turned the car into the parking lot of The Drunken Goose.

  Caledonia was suspicious. “Why’d you want to come way out here, Spice Girl?”

  “One, because I’m tired of all the places in Goose Pimple Junction. We go to them all the time. I just wanted something different. Two, because I heard this place is more upscale and not a dive bar. And three, I heard they have a delicious libation called champimple.”

  The Drunken Goose looked like it was once part of a Southern plantation. The white hundred-year-old house with black shutters had been renovated. It had matching porches on the upper and lower levels with tables set on the second-floor porch for outdoor dining and chairs on the first-floor porch for relaxing. Pumpkins and mums decorated the four steps leading up to the front porch, and huge gas-lit coach lamps hung on either side of the large glass-paned door.

  “This is gorgeous. Am I dressed all right?” Caledonia wondered out loud as they strolled up the front walk.