The vampire needs to be handled carefully, he generally likes a woman beyond his grasp, a woman he can either strive or pine away for. You have to walk the line of being unattainable yet giving him enough encouragement to not recede into his romantic pining(which doesn't include action). Some women make the mistake of pursuing this monster, saying things like “He never would have spoke to me if I hadn't.” Don't do that unless you're the type of woman who likes a man under her thumb because when you chase a monster, you give him two choices, he may either flee or submit to your shackles. This results in the monster being enslaved, and takes away their power to enthrall us. Let the vampire be the vampire. Now let's get specific, let's go over the ways to attract and entice the different types of vampires.

  Blood Drinkers

  This is the dangerous type of vampire. If your man is a Bloodsucker, you need to tread carefully. If he takes too much from you, it could be fatal. So the most important thing to remember when you're with a Blood Drinker, is to keep up your strength. You must constantly monitor your health both physically and emotionally. Blood Drinkers can actually stress out their mates to the point of impacting their health, so this is not a joke.

  Take care of yourself and state immediately that you will not tolerate whatever he may be doing that causes you to lose sleep. Be he a taker, a drainer, a collector, a perfectionist, or a collector. The vampire will respond to you telling him to stop. Sometimes Dracula gets caught up in the bloodlust and needs a slap in the face to remind him that he's about to take too much. This is your responsibility; to say when.

  Blood Drinkers are not good mates for the timid woman, you must be able to stand your ground and say politely but firmly, “No, I can't pick up your laundry or your dog or whatever, I have a life and I have to preserve the quality of it.” You must be this woman or you must leave the Bloodsucker. I know this intimately as I almost married a Bloodsucker once. It took me two years to get out from under his thumb and when I look back on pictures of myself during that time, I see a forty-year-old, worn out housewife...and I was eighteen. He was draining me to death.

  The blood draining usually comes on slowly, a sip here, a sip there, until you hardly even realize that you do exactly what he wants whenever he wants. The vampire has a tendency to enslave and the Blood Drinker is the type most prone to this. So if you decide to go ahead and take a risk with this type of vampire, do it carefully and guard your neck. If you can be that woman, I admit that the blood drinker is usually one of the best, most intense lovers.

  All vampires love intensely but this one seems to thrive on the life he takes from others and can bring that life to the bedroom. He can take you to Heaven, just make sure you're strong enough to not allow him to send you to Hell afterward.

  Got your heart set on one? Wanna know how to best attract him? This type of vampire feeds on life and that's what he looks for in a mate. You need to be vivacious, energetic, not necessarily athletic but just the type of woman who obviously has a love of life. So find your joy and express it, look for all the things you should be thankful for everyday and it will shine out of you and draw the Blood Drinking vampire to you like a magnet.

  Hates the Sun

  The vampire who lives in darkness, and refuses to go into the light can be very frustrating. The only way to deal with a stubborn Light Hater is to smile and let him be stubborn. Do not try to change him and whatever you do, do not try to reason with him. This will lead to the most annoying battles of wits that will do nothing but turn you both into adversaries. This man will crave darkness till the day he dies and if you want to be with him, you must learn to love it too.

  As far as the secretive aspect of Sun Haters goes, you must ask yourself if you trust him. If you don't trust this man, either move on or take things slow enough for you to be able to get to know whether he's trustworthy or not. If you do trust him, then remind yourself of this every time he gets secretive. When you give him that trust, he will blossom and when it becomes evident that his secrets are a non-issue for you, he'll most likely feel free enough to share them.

  You must be prepared for him to never share though and I know a lot of women won't be able to handle this. Women have this issue with sharing, they want to know everything about their man and they think they want to share everything about themselves too. This is not the guy to do that with, if you're intent on complete honesty, find another monster. Most women though, if they really think about it, will realize that we all have secrets and they're probably things about themselves that they don't ever want their man to find out about. If you have deep dark secrets then why would you begrudge him his? Do not become a snoop. In fact this is a tip for any relationship. If your man wants you to know about something, he will tell you. Looking through his stuff will kill your relationship just as surely as curiosity killed the cat. I know some of you are going to think this is ridiculous, that if your man has a horrible secret, you'd want to know. Well let me direct your attention back to the matter of trust. If you think that whatever he's hiding is so horrible it would send you running for the hills, then you don't trust him and you should run. Snooping produces one of two results, either you find nothing worthy of note, in which case you feel like a schmuck and the guilt may drive you to confessing to your man, who now will never trust you again. Or you find something horrible which you must confront your man with, who will hate having to defend himself and will never trust you again. Either way, the relationship is over.

  Even if you find nothing and manage to keep your mouth shut, you will grow more and more paranoid, thinking he may discover your snooping or thinking that maybe this time he really is hiding something bad, which will lead to more snooping and a vicious cycle of distrust. Either choose to trust him or leave.

  Now if all that's wrong with your vampire is that he hates crowds and doesn't want to go to parties or hang with your friends, you can approach this in one of two ways. Either slowly introduce people to him, letting him “accidentally” meet them one at a time and in increasing lengths of time. Or leave the loner alone.

  The slow and steady bringing of the vampire into the light of society is done by first having a friend pick you up at his house and come in for a quick hello. Don't have them stay beyond this brief introduction. Then the next time he meets her, have her stay a little longer. When he finally interacts with her on his own, you can have her bring her boyfriend next time and repeat the process all over again. This is what I call the “Frog Method”. You know how you can put a frog into a pot of water and turn up the heat without him jumping out because his body will acclimatize him until he boils? Same principal, we're boiling the vampire slowly.

  Mind Control

  Ah, this guy maybe you don't want to change but how do you deal with him without becoming a victim? The next time your mind controlling vampire waxes poetic on some subject, smile and nod while constantly asking yourself if you truly agree with him. If you don't, keep your damn mouth shut. This guy will only get more aggressive if you tell him your opinion differs from his. Instead, if he asks what you think, be vague and change the subject or say something like “Let's agree to disagree,” although that can go badly too because he'll inevitably not want you to disagree with him. So it's safer to just keep silent.

  I'm not saying to stop being yourself or to bottle up all your opinions every time they differ from his. I'm saying to ask yourself if battling with him will bring you the result you want and if not, what will? Now here's where it gets interesting. I may not think you should argue with this mind controller but I definitely think you should show him that his powers have no affect on you. He may already have a great deal of influence over you without you knowing, so you must practice this over and over with him until you feel yourself to be back in control of your own mind once more.

  Okay, first, change your way of talking with him. You can't be bothered with useless prattle when you speak to a mind controller. You must be focused and have your point firmly set in your head so you can work your words steadily to it. This type of vampire will appreciate you eschewing useless talk and will admire you more for being a woman that knows her own mind. So, first lesson is, keep your eye on the ball. No, not those balls, ugh, just remain focused. Second is, don't fall for his BS.

  This guy is a tale spinner, he says things that make you feel good and make you think he understands you but then he follows it up with a request for you to do something for him. It's okay to relate with him and feel connected, just remind yourself that this connection doesn't give him the right to make requests of you. Instead, finish these talks by making a request of him. Even if it's something as small as, “Could you pass me that blanket? I'm cold.” That's fine, work up to the bigger stuff, your request will snap him out of his own focus and remind him that you're a woman to be loved and treasured, not controlled.

  Combat his expressive ways by being mysterious and a little secretive. Remember opposites attract. This type of vampire likes to talk and he loves a silent audience but there's a difference between rapt attention and the quiet perusal of a critic. Give him a small smile, like you know his game and find it charming but a little silly. He'll undoubtedly focus on you and press you for information. Brush aside this attention and remain enigmatic, he will go crazy trying to figure you out when you've actually done very little.

  Now don't be bitchy about this, that will turn this guy off, just be sweet but firm. No you don't have anything to say about that, smile, wink. Or give him a small hint of what your thinking to make him salivate. Yes I find that subject fascinating but I fear my views on it are a little radical and I'd rather not get into it. This guy loves a woman of mystery. On that same vein(har har) of thought, it's best to not give all of your information away too quickly to this guy. He doesn't need to know everything about you right away. Leave pieces of your life for him to discover later. For a lot of women this can be hard. They want to share or they get nervous and end up spewing out a stream of information hoping that the man will find something within it all that he finds fascinating. He will not find this fascinating, he will find it boring.

  One of my favorite sayings is “It's better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and confirm it.” I'm not saying that you're a fool who needs to hide this fact but blathering on about your life can make you appear foolish to the Mind Controlling vampire. He will see you as easy pickings and use all the fodder you've just handed him to whammy you with his mind mojo.

  Garlic Repels Him

  Mr. Bland doesn't like change and the only way to deal with this type of vampire is to once more use the “Frog Method”. Turn the heat up slowly on him and only after you've already established a relationship and are sleeping together.

  Start with very small things, like the type of butter he buys or the type of toilet paper, and if he balks, back down fast, you've scared the vampire and he may retreat into his lair. In fact, it would be best to ask yourself what types of changes you want to see him accept and if they're really worth the effort it's going to take to bring them about. Most times, it's easier to just let him stick to his old habits but if you marry this vampire or decide to move in with him, some of his habits can become invasive or annoying and the problems must be addressed. A relationship involves compromise and he must be willing to meet you halfway.

  That being said, don't expect him to just simply understand this or catch the subtle hints you throw his way. You must sit him down, in a place without distractions, where you can focus on each other and you can very clearly state the needs he must meet for you to be happy. Don't be demanding, just politely tell him you need to be comfortable in your own home and if he did -insert whatever you need here- it would make you more comfortable. At this point you would follow up the statement with “And I'd be happy to discuss anything you might need me to change to make you feel more comfortable.” This vampire needs direct and mature requests so he can provide the situation you require. If you don't ask, you will never receive. Just make sure you know exactly what you're going to ask for and why you feel that it's a reasonable request, before you sit down, because these stubborn vampires will need a very good reason to eat some garlic.

  An Aversion to Crosses

  Now we come to the really difficult vampires. Whenever you deal with someone's religion, things become touchy and I'd normally say, if your religions aren't the same and you can't agree to respect each other's beliefs and move forward, then you should just move on. However, these vampires are extremes and as such, they can be helped by therapy.

  You personally are probably not qualified to give said therapy and it's usually not a good idea to tell a man your barely know that he needs to see a therapist. So I'd recommend waiting till the relationship has progressed until he trusts you enough for your opinion to matter to him.

  For the Atheist who has become obnoxious in his lack of beliefs, you may want to point out to him that not everyone is as strong as he and that it may reflect well upon him if he showed a little compassion to those who need to have faith in something. You have to be careful to not be too snarky when you deliver this to him though, the Atheist vampire is snarky enough to find offense in someone throwing it back at him.

  For the vampire who believes that God hates him, all you can do is give him enough happy moments that hopefully his thoughts will change. If they don't and you are firmly a couple, find a therapist on your own and start speaking to them about your vampire. They will be able to instruct you far better than I and maybe you could even bring him in for a couples session which your therapist “recommended for your benefit”. Then it won't be about him and he won't feel attacked.

  The same technique with the therapist can apply for the vampire who believes he's damned. This is a serious issue that is sometimes exacerbated by the church instead of alleviated. It's hard for a minister to counsel someone to not be so compelled to do good and often they end up validating the vampire's psychosis. If you can find a priest or minister to counsel him, that might be the best way to start as this kind of vampire usually responds well to the clergy. Honestly though, even writing about this man exhausts me and frankly, if you don't have an attachment to him already, I suggest running in the opposite direction.

  Cold Skinned

  Oh the cold vampire, how we long to wake him up and light his fire. This can be done but it must be done carefully. In order to get this guy's juices flowing and warm up that cold skin of his, you must present a sizzling picture to inspire him.

  A lot depends on the nature of your current relationship. Are you friends, have you been dating, or are you married? The easiest scenario is the dating one, if you've yet to get this man's attention, things will be much harder and I'd recommend you look for another, easier vampire to deal with. If you've already snagged his interest though, things can get interesting.

  This vampire is used to hiding his reactions so to pull one from him, you'll have to shock him out of his stupor. I'm not saying to put on a lace negligee and meet him at the door in it, you don't have to be something you aren't or do something that you don't want to do. What you should do is mix it up. Dress conservative for dinner but cop a feel of his ass on the way to your table. Then dress more seductively the next time and act like a prude. Just confuse the hell out of him and it should be enough for him to break free of that expressionless mask he wears, even if it's just to don a confused frown.

  If this doesn't do the trick, you may need to resort to extreme measures. Invite him in after dinner one night, hand him a glass of wine, or three, and have the sex talk. You know the one I mean, the talk where you find out what really does it for each other. Women have a hard time with this. We feel slutty or silly coming right out and telling a man what makes us scream but lemme tell you a secret, men love hearing what we like. It gives them valuable information as well as fantastic visuals in their head. The Cold Skinned vampire, if he has any chance of being heated, will warm right up to your interest in his sexual fantasies.

  The confident woman who asks for what she wants and demands to be satisfied in the bedroom, as well as demands to know how to satisfy him, will make the Cold vampire take notice. I do want to note that you should be confident but not aggressive. Don't push him into talking to you, just suggest it and see how it goes. If you push the Cold Skinned vampire, he'll just retreat back into numbness.

  Sleeps in a Coffin

  Boys and their toys. Some women say that men never grow up, they just buy more expensive toys. The Coffin Sleeper is a prime example of this. This is Peter Pan in vampire form, he will forever be looking for the next best contraption or gizmo, he will forever be young, and forever be trying to fly. Now maybe you're the type of woman who love those same things, in which case you've found your soul mate. However, most ladies will find this behavior a little off putting.

  If you're one of these women who find a fascination for technology and excessive game playing to be obnoxious, I hate to break it you but these are your vampire's interests and he will not give them up. And you shouldn't expect him to. The best that can be done here is a compromise. You wouldn't want him to make you give up one of the things you love to do and you shouldn't expect him to give up one of his but if he wants a relationship, he's going to have to fulfill your needs too.