Gabriel reached quickly and snapped off the radio station. “Don’t...”

  “What?” Dr. Green asked. “That was one of my favorites.”

  “You’re shitting me.”

  “The chorus is the best part.”

  Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Can we not? She’ll hear it. It’s stupid.”

  “What?” Dr. Green asked him. “You don’t want her knowing your songs?”

  “I don’t want her to know how stupid my lyrics are. Especially the old ones.”

  “I’m sorry, man,” Dr. Green replied with a frown. “I don’t understand why you’d hide it from her.”

  Gabriel dropped his head back into his palm, leaning against the armrest. The result was his words were a little slurred here and there when he spoke. “Because she might laugh. And then I’d get embarrassed. Besides, it isn’t just that. I mean...” He gave a frustrated sigh and slid down until his knees were jammed against the dashboard of the RV. His shirt had slid up to reveal part his stomach and he adjusted it. “Aren’t you worried about Sang? And what’s going to happen on this trip? What if she leaves us to stay with her grandparents? Shouldn’t we be focused on her?”

  “Well,” Dr. Green said, tilting his head a little as if considering what he was saying deeply. “Yes. Of course. But... you think hiding who you are and the things you like to do is helping?”

  “I don’t know. It feels weird.”

  “Is there something specific bothering her you know about and are worried about?”

  “She’s been through so much.”

  Dr. Green smiled a little and gave Gabriel that knowing look like he was being a little too dramatic. “And we’ve been through a lot of the recent stuff with her. You don’t think she knows that?”

  Gabriel didn’t answer.

  “She cares about you a lot.”

  Gabriel turned toward the window of the RV. “It just seems as though she has a dark cloud over her. And all I want to do is shake it out of her and do... something to make her happy. To help convince her to stay with us. That she can be happy with us.”

  “That’s not what you mean,” Dr. Green said, suddenly serious and utilizing a strictness similar to Mr. Blackbourne. “You know what you mean, but you’re afraid of saying it.” Dr. Green cleared his throat. “You’re going to have to tell her how you feel. That it’s you that can’t live without her. That it’s Sang that makes you happy. That you are the one that wants her to stay. Don’t turn it around and tell her how you want her to feel. You simply say how you’re feeling. To her face.”

  Gabriel sighed heavily. He was right. No one could control how another person felt. He could hope she felt the same way, but the only thing he could do as a person was to simply say how he was feeling and ask her how she felt. And accept the results no matter what they were. “How?”

  “You just talk to her.”

  “Yeah... how do you do that?”

  Dr. Green shrugged. “You ask her. And when she answers, then you listen. You hear her voice. And when she gets quiet... you listen harder. You don’t push. You talk and say what’s on your mind. It gets easier the more you talk.”

  “Okay,” Gabriel said. “I guess.”

  “You don’t even have to ask questions,” he said. “If you just say what you want to say to her, she’ll probably respond. But you wait for her to answer. Give her a chance to think it out. She’s not been in a relationship before.” He pressed his fingertips against his own chest and then motioned to Gabriel. “We have to remember, the only care she’s had is with a distant ‘mother,’ a cold sister and a father who worked and was barely around. It might take time for her to articulate what she feels, or learn how relationships are give-and-take connections. We show her by doing it. We say things, even if she says nothing back.” He then winked at Gabriel. “But trust me, she’ll say things. In her own way.”

  Gabriel nodded. He made it seem like it was just very simple to do. But was it? “Anything else?”

  Dr. Green made a show of tilting his head and holding a forefinger to his chin for a moment as if in deep thought. “Hm, maybe don’t curse as much when you do it.”

  Gabriel rocked his head back. “What?”

  Dr. Green snickered. “Just kidding. I don’t know if you’re looking for some secret formula to talk to her about how you feel. But the only real way to do it is to say exactly what’s on your mind.” Dr. Green turned the radio back on, but left the volume on low. “When you hesitate, you’re trying to rethink too much, trying to mask your thoughts and feelings. Say it nicely, obviously, but say what you really mean.”

  “Right,” Gabriel said, although he wasn’t sure singing really old mixed-up lyrics from when he was like thirteen and obsessed with punk and emo bands from the nineties was going to help.

  Dr. Green listened to the music, but his lips moved. “Anxi-i-iety!” His song voice was more a harsh whisper now as he sung to himself.

  Gabriel buried his face into his hands again.

  But for some reason, he couldn’t shake Dr. Green suggesting that he didn’t curse so much when he talked to Sang. Maybe he didn’t mean it, but it was enough for him to take note.

  Did she not like that? Suddenly, he was trying to remember every time he spoke to her. Did she react badly to his cursing at all? He couldn’t remember.

  He wanted to give her every opportunity and every comfort to be able to talk to him any time. Don’t curse around her. Ask her things. Treat her nicely. Listen to her. If that helped and she liked it, he’d do it.

  How Will We Survive?

  Sang

  Because of the bear, the air getting colder, and the lack of open campgrounds the further north we traveled, we reached Kentucky in only four days, instead of the predicted week of travel we had planned.

  Luckily, we were able to find a small campground still open near Winchester, although it was still a good distance from the town.

  The campground itself had wonderful views. Kentucky in February was a little brown, but the grass and some conifer trees still had a lot of rich dark green color. And the sky was wide, blue and the air was fresh. A couple empty grass fields were nearby. Beyond them in some hills were more fields, horses, and black fences lining properties as far as the eye could see.

  It was cold, though. The dashboard indicated it was thirty degrees Fahrenheit when the RV was parked and the engine was finally shut off from the trip.

  “We’ll have to keep the heaters running,” Dr. Green said as he stood and stretched. He adjusted his back, sliding his shoulders back and forth. A small cracking sound came from his torso. “I’m going to miss going down the stairs to the chiropractor’s office.”

  “We’re only here for a little while,” Nathan said, focused on cleaning up a bit from the kitchen now that they were parked. “You can go back to being a doctor and utilizing your doctor friends soon.”

  Dr. Green gazed out of the window, off into the distance in a longing way. “But not for a while.”

  I waited until the others were ready, although I was eager to get out of the RV. Despite the size of it on the inside, we’d been cramped together in the space, walking past each other closely, staying inside more as the days got colder the further north we traveled. The bed in the back wasn’t that big, not big enough for usually three of us to sleep in. Whoever was left out slept in the bunks. It was too much work in our opinion to adjust the dining set every day to make it into an additional bed, and everyone was too tall to sleep on the sofas.

  It wasn’t a bad little house on the road, though. It was much more delightful than sleeping in a tent.

  Putting on proper clothes for Northern weather, I bundled up with a heavy jacket and jeans and tennis shoes. I hoped Nathan wouldn’t find some sliding rock or hiking trail to go on now.

  However, the moment the guys took a few steps outside, they sputtered, amazed at how much colder it was than they thought, and went back in to put on more clothes.

  Eventually, all the boys were bundled up tightly, wearing nearly every shirt and coat they could wear and still move around in reasonably. The wind blew around us. It was so bitter it made me want to wear a scarf over my nose and mouth. It wasn’t totally cold when the wind wasn’t blowing, but there was an edge to the breeze. I faced away from it to stop my lips and nose from getting stung.

  “Fu-u-uck,” Gabriel stammered as he shivered simply standing just outside the RV. “We’re freezing our asses off out here.”

  “At least it isn’t snowing,” I said, trying to be helpful. “It could get worse.”

  Gabriel’s eyes widened and he suddenly stopped shivering. “Shit... I mean... Sheeeze... do you think it’ll snow?

  I blinked at him. What did he just do? “Maybe. It’s below freezing so if a storm comes through, yes.”

  Gabriel’s lips twisted a little. “Well... gosh... darn... I mean snow is kind of nice.”

  I hated to tell him, the last snowfall we saw back in... December? The random snow we got in South Carolina I imagined was rare. And it disappeared in an afternoon. Snow up here, where it snowed regularly, might make it more troublesome to get around in the RV. Even having stopped for more clothes on the way that were more winter friendly, they were still shivering despite the layers.

  I grimaced, trying not to show I was a little amused. Yes, it was cold. Yes, they would continue to be cold. I could get used to it, as I had when I lived up North. Would they adjust? I wondered if they’d miss home much sooner than they thought on this trip.

  We collected back into the RV, where Dr. Green and Nathan had turned on the RV’s heaters.

  Luke parked his butt right in front of one of the heating vents, letting the air penetrate his clothes. His head rested on his hands and his body leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed contentedly.

  “Hey,” Gabriel said. “Come on, share the heat.”

  “I can’t move,” Luke said, his eyes staying closed. “Can’t... get myself...” He pretended to be struggling to talk as much as he was pretending like he couldn’t get up.

  I chuckled. It might take them a few days to climatize. “So what do we do next?”

  Dr. Green shifted to lean against the kitchenette counter. “First thing, we need a game plan.” He suddenly straightened and held a finger toward his eyes like he was adjusting glasses that weren’t there. His tone mocked Mr. Blackbourne or Kota, I wasn’t sure which one he was aiming for. “Team, we’re here for two things. First, we’re here to inspect...” He threw his hand out, now pointing at Gabriel, nearly touching his nose, “you. I mean your family. We’re here to meet the Colemans!” He said it with such showmanship flair, I was wondering if he wanted applause.

  “And,” Dr. Green added, now waving his arms at the group, making sure everyone was looking at him. He nudged Luke with a toe since he had his eyes closed while he was enjoying the heat. “Second, we’re here to see if we can find Sang’s grandparents. We’re going to have to check on all parties here, her mother’s, her father’s and her stepmother’s parents, if any of them are around. Then someone has to go talk to them. We have to get inside their houses and look for any more pictures and any evidence of her existence. It could be we’ll visit several different homes between the both of them, so we need to be ready. Because that is a lot. We might be here awhile.”

  So many people all at once. I breathed steadily. This was it. It was really happening.

  A steady lump had settled in my stomach the day we’d found the photograph and learned about Winchester and my family possibly being here. It weighed heavy inside me, around my heart. It made it more difficult to pay attention to what was being said.

  Dr. Green continued, “We have a couple of days before North and Silas show up as backup. So I say right now, let’s see if we can’t get in touch with the Colemans. It’ll be an easy to start with target and will allow us to get started with learning the lay of the land. We can possibly get that done tonight.” He turned to Gabriel. “Do you have an address?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got it written down.” Gabriel pulled the piece of paper from his jacket pocket.

  Dr. Green took the sheet and peered at it. “And your mom’s parents are nearby, right?”

  “Supposedly. The last time I sent them a card, it got returned so I think they moved, but the Colemans might know.”

  Nathan gently took the address paper from Dr. Green. “So how do we find Sang’s grandparents’ addresses? I think we have one, her stepmother’s parents?”

  “We have a last known address for them and her father’s father,” Dr. Green said. “And we might get lucky and they know where the others are. We can also ask around.”

  “It’ll take me about five minutes,” Luke said, finally getting up. “Just ask around town. In a town this size, I bet everyone knows everyone. So who goes to the Colemans and who gets to go around town? We’ll have to split up a little to do both.”

  “I should go to my own family’s house,” Gabriel said. “And I should take Sang. She shouldn’t be going around asking about Sorensons when she looks like a damn Sorenson.” He stumbled. “I mean... a... dang... never mind.”

  Luke started talking about how to split up the groups.

  I leaned a little against Nathan who was next to me, whispering to him. “What’s with Gabriel?”

  Nathan brushed his fingers against his chin. He’d grown out a little coarse, dark red hair around his chin over the last few days.

  I knew he was worried because he didn’t answer right away. I wasn’t sure he wanted anyone else to hear our conversation. He waited until the others pulled further away before replying.

  “Gabriel is...” Nathan sighed. “I don’t know. He’s probably nervous about facing his distant family after this long. Just go easy on him, okay?”

  “You think he’s just anxious?”

  “Just go with it,” Nathan said. “Don’t ask him too many questions about it. He hasn’t seen his family since... perhaps when his parents died. Maybe he’s trying to clean his language a bit so he’s not saying stuff they’d be upset by.”

  I didn’t say anything, trying to consider what that might have been like, having your parents die and then the only one that wanted him was Pam. Pam was sweet and had taken care of Gabriel the best she could, I imagined, but having no other living family be in any contact with you... And then just showing up, maybe he was trying to be more careful about his own language, like you had to be for school or in other areas.

  Nathan sighed again. “Don’t leave his side, okay? And if his family is at all not nice, you get him out of there.”

  I agreed and hoped this would go at least a little better than that.

  It All Happened Too Fast

  I wasn’t sure how we were supposed to get around Winchester with a big RV, but it took only an hour after Dr. Green had made a call for three cars, one black SUV, one black Tahoe and one old, beat up blue sedan arrived at the campsite.

  I remained in the RV while Dr. Green went to go talk to the drivers. Nathan peered out the window with me, watching.

  “Academy?” I whispered to Nathan.

  “Yup,” he said. “Probably in from Lexington or Louisville. Not a lot of us are scattered around but when they are, it’s usually large towns so they blend in a bit more.”

  “Why don’t we all go see them?”

  A puzzled expression came over his face. “Habit? Only send who you need to send. It’s like a plausible deniability thing if anything should happen.”

  It only took a few more minutes. Two of the drivers gave keys to Dr. Green. They shook hands. The three people got into the black SUV, leaving us the Tahoe and the old sedan.

  Dr. Green jumped the RV steps back inside. “It helps to have connections.” Each key set had a black leather strap keychain attached. He dangled one of the keys by the strap and held it out to us. “Who gets the first drive around the block? They should be full on gas.”

  Nathan gingerly took one of the keys. “I always feel funny driving someone else’s car.”

  Dr. Green tilted his head. “You drive whatever North gives you without complaining.”

  “Maybe that’s it. It’s not North approved.” Nathan flipped the key in his hand. “I don’t know anyone else who’s that... what’s the nice word for anal?”

  “Fastidious,” Dr. Green said. “But your word choice is probably more accurate. But also, trust the Academy.”

  Nathan went outside and I followed. The old blue sedan had a box shape that was left over from the 80s. The exterior was in okay condition, just the blue paint was dull from years in the sun. But maybe that was just its exterior appearance?

  Gabriel followed us out and motioned to the blue car. “I should take this one. Fits. Seems like something I’d drive, right?”

  I grimaced. He was referencing how his family had been pretty poor, living in a trailer. I didn’t want to say it.

  But Nathan did. “Yeah. It fits. Think you can find your way there?”

  “I can handle it,” Gabriel said. He took the keys from Nathan, heading to the sedan’s driver door and opening it, checking the inside. “Let me take it for a test drive first. Make sure it works.”

  “You’re the boss,” Nathan said.

  Gabriel turned the engine and it started up smoothly. After, he put it in reverse and pulled around to take it up the road.

  Nathan and I returned to stand just outside the RV. Nathan called to Luke. “So we’re going?”

  Luke called back to us. “When I get my butt to warm up!”

  Nathan sighed. “I might need some backup.”

  Dr. Green appeared in the RV doorway. He’d found a scarf and had wrapped it around his face on top of other layers of clothing he wore.

  “What about you?” Nathan asked. “You going with us or Gabriel?”

  “Who gets to stay here at the RV?” Dr. Green asked, although muffled a little by the scarf.

  “No one,” Nathan said. “No one stays alone.”

  “Gabriel’s off on his own,” I said.