David is mean. I want my friends back.

  Just because he won’t let you stay in your rooms doesn’t make him mean. You came out for them, so now there shouldn’t be an issue.

  I shook my head and stared down at my phone as hot, angry tears burned in my eyes.

  I came out for them.

  They brainwashed you. Give David a chance.

  I knew then it was hopeless. He should have been listening to me. He’d always done so before. What was so different now? I shoved my phone back into my pocket then crossed my arms over my chest to glare at the wall across from me. An hour later, David turned off the TV. “Go have lunch,” he told me.

  I hadn’t moved. “I’m not hungry.”

  David shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

  I hadn’t ordered more food, so when he went into the kitchen, there was hardly anything for him to eat, really. I heard him swearing about it, and I was glad that he’d been forced to make a tuna salad sandwich, which was apparently something he hated because he ate it with disgust.

  “I do have work to do,” I told him when he came back into the lounge from lunch.

  “Then we can go back to your office, and I’ll bring you back down later.”

  I did not want him anywhere near my private rooms again. I shook my head. He turned the TV back on and watched it for a few more hours.

  At three, when my forced companionship with him was up, I got to my feet.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked.

  “It’s three. I spent my four hours downstairs. Now I’m going back up.”

  David nodded to me. “Don’t make it so hard on yourself tomorrow. Just accept that this is what your uncle wants. It’s the best thing for you.”

  I ignored him as I went back upstairs. I had granola bars and water for dinner, the same as I’d had for breakfast, just to be away from him. And I puked again from my pills, just like I had at breakfast.

  * * * *

  Sophia came over to clean the next morning and I did come downstairs for her. She had her own key and hadn’t seen David yet, since he was patrolling, so I wasn’t surprised when she asked me where CJ, Rex and Malcolm were.

  “They’re gone,” I whispered as she sat me down in a chair in the dining room. “Uncle Phin replaced them with David.”

  “Why?” she demanded.

  I shrugged. I didn’t have a logical reason, and Uncle Phin’s hadn’t made any sense. “He thinks they did something to me.”

  She got out a pair of scissors and an electric trimmer. “Did they? And will you let me fix your hair?”

  “No. Of course they didn’t do anything. They were always nice to me. And yes, I’d appreciate the hair thing.”

  She indicated I should hold still then she began trimming up my hair. Her presence and touch were surprisingly comforting. I guessed that the guys had made more impact on me than I’d realized. Sophia was someone I knew, and right now she was as close to a replacement for them as I could get.

  I heard the back door open and closed my eyes. David was back in the house. I’d had enough of him within the first hour, but going on the second day was too much. I just wanted the guys back and I didn’t think that was an unreasonable request.

  “It’s good to see you down here on your own,” Sophia said.

  “He has to be for a few hours a day. His uncle said so,” David said as he came into the dining room. “Hi. I’m David.”

  “I’m Sophia, the housekeeper.”

  David was gone again a few seconds later and I heard the TV in the lounge turn on. He hardly did anything but watch TV. I’d already seen him asleep in front of it once.

  “Well, if Phin likes him, maybe you should give him a chance,” she said as she fixed my hair. “He only wants what’s best for you, as you well know.”

  I did know that. My uncle loved me and wanted me to be taken care of. But I knew he was wrong in this.

  An hour later I went upstairs and called Uncle Phin.

  “Hello, Blake,” he said. He sounded busy, which I expected since I had called him at his investments office.

  “Can I have CJ, Malcolm and Rex back? Please?” I started without saying hi or anything to him.

  Uncle Phin sighed. Probably in frustration. “No. You cannot. Is there something wrong with David?”

  I’d already told Uncle Phin that he was mean to me and he hadn’t done anything about it. So I tried another truth. “I don’t trust him. I don’t feel safe with him around.”

  “And you didn’t with Robert for the first few months, either. You gave the last group almost two weeks. Give David the same amount of time. If you still can’t stand him after that, I’ll find someone else. But, Blake, you aren’t getting those three back.”

  Realizing how little he was going to budge on that brought fresh tears to my eyes. I was so sick of crying all the time. “I know,” I said, admitting defeat. “I’ll give the next person a try.”

  “Good.” Uncle Phin sounded relieved. “Because you do need around-the-clock care. You can’t be trusted to be on your own, especially not after that most recent pool incident. If we run out of bodyguards for you, I’ll be forced to institutionalize you, for your own good, and I don’t want to do that to you. I want you to live as normal a life as you can and have some autonomy, neither of which you would have if you were to be put in a facility.”

  I swallowed back my fear and shoved my free hand into the pocket of my rainbow hoodie to stop my shaking. “I know. I don’t want that, either.” I never wanted that to happen. I’d do anything to avoid it. “David can stay. I’ll be good.”

  “Thank you for giving him another chance. I’m sure you’ll both get along just fine after these initial kinks are worked out. Try harder. I’m sure it’s just a transition period.”

  I nodded along with what he was saying, but I didn’t believe a word of it. I wouldn’t ever like David, but I could put up with him and deal with it, if only to avoid being locked away forever and pumped full of drugs I had no say in. I was twenty-seven, but Farra had deemed me unable to make my own decisions regarding my health care only last month. If Uncle Phin said that I should be institutionalized for my own safety, I knew that she would go along with it.

  “I will. Sorry to bother you at work.” They were the words he would have expected me to say. “Bye.”

  “Goodbye, Blake.”

  I couldn’t have the guys back, and I missed them so much. No one understood. I saw through the camera feed that David was asleep in the lounge, so I walked out of my rooms and crept across the hardwood floor over to the downstairs bedrooms. He’d taken the one farthest away from the main living areas. The guys had chosen the closest one. I slipped in there without making a noise and sank into the bed. Of course Sophia had cleaned the room. There was no reason for her not to. Now the sheets didn’t smell like CJ when I lay down on them.

  None of their stuff was in there anymore, either. It was just a plain, nondescript guest room that reflected what my parents’ style had been. The sheets and mattress had been changed out since their deaths, but the rest of it had been chosen by them. I curled up on my side and let out a heavy sigh. I needed a friend, but, more specifically, I needed my friends back—the three guys I’d learned to trust inside of two weeks, who had given me the room to feel comfortable touching them by my choice, instead of being grabbed and dragged around like David had done to me. Even when Rex pinned me against the stairs it wasn’t the same, because they were trying to help me. They cared about me. David only cared about following orders so he could be paid.

  I needed them back and I couldn’t have them. I was so ready to cry again too when my gaze caught on a scrap of white paper tucked mostly under the lamp on the nightstand beside me. Only a tiny bit of a white corner was visible—I could see how Sophia might have missed it—and I slowly pulled it out to see what it was. There was nothing on it but a phone number. I frowned at it and wondered how long it had been there and who the number belonged to.

  I wanted to call it to find out, but I couldn’t from downstairs, not while David might wake up at any second and overhear me. So as quietly as I could, I crept back out of the room, closed the door silently behind me then went back upstairs. David was still fast asleep when I went into my office. Since I didn’t know who the number belonged to, and on the off chance it was one of the guys, I didn’t want Uncle Phin knowing I was talking to them. I used my computer to call.

  “Hello?” a voice I instantly recognized answered the phone, and I smiled down at my desk.

  “Hey, Malcolm. It’s Blake.”

  He chuckled. “Did you just find the number or did it take you a few days to call?”

  “I just found it.” I felt so much better just from hearing his voice.

  “Did you already get a new bodyguard?”

  I really didn’t want to talk about him. “I did. His name’s David.”

  “Is he being nice to you and leaving you alone?”

  I didn’t want to lie to him, but I didn’t want to worry or upset him, either. And Malcolm cared about me, so I knew if I told him about David coming into my office and dragging me out by my arm and making me sit on the couch he wouldn’t be happy about it. But there was nothing that he could do about it either, so it was best not to tell him anything. “He’s fine. Are you three on a new job?”

  “We are. We’re protecting a foreign diplomat now. We miss you. We want you to be happy. Your uncle, as misguided as he is, was only trying to protect you.”

  I knew that. Everyone wanted me safe, but they were the only ones who made me feel that way, and I couldn’t have them with me anymore. I saw David get up on the feed and knew I was out of time before he would start coming to get me for a few more hours of enforced downstairs time. “I need to go. I’m sorry.”

  “Of course. This is your working time. Whenever you want to talk—and you can talk to any of us—please call this number. We aren’t your bodyguards anymore, but we still want you to get better, and we are here for you.”

  I might have actually been able to touch his hand for saying that. I wanted to be able to hug him, but I didn’t know if that would have been possible for me, even given how much I cared about them, too. “Thank you,” I mumbled as tears started leaking from my eyes. I hung up and wiped at my cheeks.

  * * * *

  The next morning, I was ready to go when David came to collect me from my rooms. It was either put up with him or be put into an institution. He looked surprised when I opened the door and came out to greet him before he could get up the stairs to come banging on my outer doors.

  “Well, this is a nice turn of events. It’s good to know that you can fall in line.”

  Uncle Phin hadn’t said that I had to talk to him, so I didn’t. I just gave him a nod and went downstairs where I made myself a bowl of cereal while David watched me from only three feet away. He didn’t understand personal space boundaries like the guys had learned to. And I didn’t think it would have mattered to tell him. But I still wanted to try, just in case I might have been wrong. “I don’t like people within five feet of me.”

  “Too bad. Your uncle said to push your boundaries and make you better. So that’s what I’m doing.” And he looked smug about it, too.

  After breakfast, I took my pill, and an extra half of one, too, so that I could get through this without losing my mind, and I went to go waste the next few hours with him in the lounge watching mindless television. He laughed along with the people in the laugh tracks, and I played with my phone.

  When it was time for lunch, I stayed down there and made myself my cheese and mayo sandwich. He came within a few inches of me as he went into the fridge, too. I stood there frozen over the kitchen island. He didn’t seem to notice. My four hours were done, so I took off upstairs and spent the rest of the day in my rooms with only my cat for company. It was the most peace I’d had since David had come to live with me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Uncle Phin called me early the next morning. It sounded like he was on his way to the office.

  “Hi,” I said. I’d made a smoothie for breakfast then come back upstairs since my team had wanted to have a brainstorming session early that morning to talk about the new expansion and how we were going to make it similar, but not the same, as the original Underworlds.

  “Blake, David says that you’re being rude and hardly speaking to him. Don’t be like that with him. He’s there to do a job, not put up with your attitude when you have a bad day.”

  My heart sank. “I don’t know what more you want me to do. I’m going downstairs for four hours a day. I’m eating all my meals. I’m taking my pills like I’m supposed to be. I don’t even start yelling when he comes within a foot of me without asking for my permission. I’m trying so hard to be good and not be put away. I don’t know what else you want from me.”

  I sobbed over my desk. Uncle Phin started to say something but I heard a massive crash that hurt my ear. “Uncle Phin?” I called to him as my heart started racing. “Uncle Phin!”

  David must have heard me yelling because seconds later he was bursting through my door. “What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head. I was shaking so badly I could barely stand. When I started to fall, he caught me and dragged me downstairs where he checked my pulse, shook his head then gave me a sedative. “You’re having a panic attack,” David told me as he crouched over me. “This is what Phin said to do.”

  He left me lying on the couch as the sedative quickly took effect, but only because I’d already taken an extra half of a pill just to get through dealing with another day of having David as my bodyguard. He came back, and I was still on the couch. The sedatives in my blood were making my arms feel so heavy and even as I tried to sit up when he came close to me, I couldn’t. He checked my pulse by touching my neck again and all I could do was close my eyes as he turned my head to the side. He touched my cheek, maybe by accident, but it felt really purposeful, and I closed my eyes.

  I cried and he was gentle as he wiped away my tears. Then, gratefully, I felt him leave me alone. About an hour later, someone knocked on the door, and he got off the couch, paused whatever show he’d been watching and I heard him talking to people. Then we were alone again and David came back to me. I hadn’t heard what they’d said, but I knew what was coming as my gut tightened and my tears fell freely.

  “Your uncle was in a car accident,” David said. His voice was the softest I’d ever heard it. “He didn’t make it. I’m sorry.” He bent down over me, and maybe he was trying to comfort me, but I felt sick every time he touched me. He didn’t ask permission. He just assumed. And I didn’t want his hugs and I hated the feeling of his hand in my hair.

  “I want you to go,” I whispered brokenly to him.

  He nodded. “I’ll go in the other room.”

  I tried to shake my head, but, with the sedatives in me, I couldn’t. I didn’t remember ever having so much of the medication in my system before, and it took all my willpower just to be able to talk a little. “You’re fired.”

  “Fine.” David’s voice had taken that hard edge again, like when he’d been pissed off that he’d had to come drag me by my arm out of my office. I shut my eyes tightly as he stormed around my house and gathered up his things. He was gone soon after that, and I was absolutely alone for the first time since I’d been twelve, with the exception of Bandit, who decided to make herself comfortable on my chest since I didn’t have the energy to push her away.

  With the house so quiet around me and no one there to bother me, I let myself sleep. I got cold, eventually, and woke up to find that my arms were working again. I sat up and held my head for a moment as I was overcome with dizziness. Beside me, Bandit was meowing. “Hey,” I told her as I rubbed her face and back.

  I was scared, but not to the point where I’d be handing myself over to be institutionalized, either. I took a deep breath and looked out of the front window to see the lightest flakes of a flurry coming down outside. I picked her up in my arms and helped her get comfortable on my shoulder as I checked the front door. At least David had locked it behind himself when he’d been pissed off at me and in a hurry to leave. And it didn’t look like he’d broken anything, either, which was good. I’d been afraid of that.

  Because it was starting to snow, I went and made myself hot chocolate. And I gave a bit of milk to Bandit, too, once I’d plucked her off the counter.

  I decided that we weren’t going to work today, even before I saw that it was almost six and I’d slept for the entire day. I was still tired and my muscles were still slow to respond to what I wanted them to do. Making my hot chocolate felt like it was taking hours on its own and that nothing I did could make it hurry up. Even the little silver spoon I used for the mix was almost too heavy for me to hold.

  I sipped my hot chocolate and watched the snow fall from my couch in the living room with Bandit beside me. By eight o’clock I was asleep again.

  * * * *

  Sophia woke me up the next morning when she came in to clean on her regularly scheduled day. I could tell that she had been crying, and it took me a few moments to figure out why as she moved around my house. But then I remembered and figured someone would have called her about Uncle Phin. I sat up on the couch and pulled my knees against my chest as I waited for her to come in and find me. I didn’t feel like walking, and, in the quiet house, I didn’t want to yell. Besides, Bandit was doing plenty of that for both of us.

  When Sophia found me, she nearly dropped the cup of hot cocoa she’d been about to take upstairs. “Oh, Blake!” Seconds later, I had my hot chocolate and Sophia sitting beside me as she cried. Bandit was in her arms and she loved on my cat as she continued to sob.

  “How are you holding up? Is David helping you at all?” she asked me about half an hour later when her cries had gone muffled.