Red opened up for Laz, loving Laz’s weight on him, how with every kiss Laz appeared to grow more frantic for him, like he was trying to consume Red. He bent his legs, drawing them up and widening his stance so he could get better purchase against the mattress. Gripping Laz’s hips, he pushed Laz back until he was seated on Red’s rock-hard cock. Red squeezed Laz’s ass cheeks, and thrust his hips up, nothing but the thin jersey material of their pajama bottoms between them. Laz moaned and rutted against Red, the friction so damn good. If Red wasn’t careful, he was going to come in his pants. Fuck, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so turned-on, like his body was trying to set itself on fire.

  Laz pulled away, and Red grunted his displeasure at the loss of those delicious lips. He cursed under his breath as Laz shoved Red’s T-shirt up his torso, then began leaving a trail of scorching kisses across Red’s skin. Red sucked in a sharp breath and arched his back up off the bed when Laz flicked a tongue over his left nipple, one hand moving back to Red’s groin.

  “Laz,” Red groaned. He yanked his T-shirt up and over his head and tossed it to one side, his breath coming out labored as Laz licked, nipped, and sucked first one nipple, then the other, his hand slipping beneath the waistband of Red’s pajamas.

  This wasn’t at all what he’d expected. Not that he was complaining. He was most definitely not complaining. Laz was clearly in control and determined to drive Red out of his mind, especially when Laz released him to take hold of his pants. Red lifted his hips so Laz could pull them down, caught off guard when Laz took them completely off and dropped them off the side of the bed to join Red’s T-shirt. Then he lay between Red’s spread legs and swallowed him down to the root.

  “F-fuck!” Red’s eyes all but rolled into the back of his head, and he grabbed fistfuls of the blankets as Laz expertly worked his mouth, alternating between sucking and licking. He moved fast and then slowed down before increasing the pressure around Red, then pushing his tongue into Red’s slit. “God, Laz.”

  Laz stopped moving, his blue eyes dark with lust. He nodded, and Red cursed under his breath. Laz wanted him to fuck his mouth. Oh, sweet Jesus.

  Red hesitated at first. He wasn’t a small man, but Laz didn’t seem concerned, and the way he’d swallowed Red told him Laz didn’t have to worry about gag reflex. Slowly, Red started moving his hips, his bottom lip caught between his teeth at the toe-curling pleasure that was Laz’s sweet mouth. He wouldn’t be able to keep this up for very long, especially with Laz caressing his thighs, fondling his balls, and slipping his finger between Red’s asscheeks.

  “Laz, I’m gonna come,” Red warned, but Laz didn’t move. Instead, he used his lips to apply more pressure to Red’s cock. If that wasn’t enough to push him over the edge, the sight of Laz pushing his pants down and jerking himself off did it. Red’s muscles tightened, and he cried out as his orgasm thundered through him. He emptied himself inside Laz’s mouth, his breath labored and his skin flushed from the heat flaring through him. His body trembled as Laz swallowed every drop. Once Red was spent, Laz pulled back onto his knees, the want in his eyes unmistakable.

  “Let me come on you, Red. Please.”

  Unable to find his voice, Red nodded fervently. God, yes. Please come on me. Laz quickly got rid of his pants and T-shirt before straddling Red’s lap, his hand moving furiously, the other tweaking one of his own nipples.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” Red said, breathless. Needing to touch him, Red grabbed hold of Laz’s ass, and jerked him forward, until the tip of Laz’s cock touched his lips. He opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue.

  “Oh fuck. Fuck.” Laz’s body trembled, and he cried out as hot jets of come shot into and around Red’s mouth.

  As Laz pumped himself, he ran his fingers through the come outside Red’s mouth, smearing it over his lips and chin, sending a shiver through Red. He’d never been so damned turned-on, or so he thought. Laz leaned in and licked Red clean. Yep, just gonna expire right here. He released a deep moan when Laz kissed him, and when they were forced to come up for air, Laz lay sprawled over him.

  “That was…. Wow.” Red wrapped his arms around Laz as they both caught their breaths.

  “I’ve never done that before.”

  “What?”

  Laz hesitated, his tone making him sound uncertain. “Gotten messy. You make me feel like my skin can’t hold me, like I’m going to lose my mind.”

  “You do the same to me,” Red admitted. “I guess we should get up and take a shower, huh?”

  Laz lifted his head and smiled sweetly at Red. “Shower with me?”

  “Okay.”

  Laz nodded. He really was absolutely beautiful. Red tucked a curl behind Laz’s ear, caressing his cheek before finally making himself release Laz so he could get up.

  The shower was big enough for the both of them, and after Laz set the temperature, he reached for the soap, but Red got to it first. He nuzzled Laz’s temple, murmuring by his ear. “My turn.” He smiled when Laz visibly shivered.

  Red lathered Laz up, running his hands up his arms and over his shoulders, then down Laz’s back, nails scraping ever so softly across his skin. He relished in the little noises that escaped Laz, and the way he arched his back, pushing his ass out toward Red. As much as Red wanted to push Laz up against the tiled wall and have his way with him fast and hard, he needed to take things slow. He didn’t want to do anything Laz might regret. They still had so much to talk about.

  Few people outside his family had seen him at his worst, and as bad as last night had been, it could be worse. If they were going to have something, he had to make Laz understand that what Red suffered from would never go away. There was always the possibility that he could be triggered, or relapse. No magic pill, no amount of love or good will would cure him.

  “Red….”

  The word was a soft prayer escaping from between Laz’s full mouth, and Red wrapped his arms around Laz, bringing him back hard against his body, and turning his face so Red could capture Laz’s lips in a sinful kiss. Laz rutted against him, and Red trailed his soapy hands down Laz’s chest, one hand sliding down to his inner thigh, the other between them and up between Laz’s asscheeks.

  “Yes, please,” Laz said breathlessly against Red’s lips. He widened his stance, and placed a hand over the one Red had on his thigh, moving it to his cock. Gingerly, Red stroked Laz, reveling in the soft moans, in Laz’s quiet gasps. He had his eyes closed, and he leaned into Red, allowing Red to carry his weight. Laz leaned his head back against Red’s shoulder, and Red trailed kisses up his neck and jaw as he picked up his pace.

  “Mmm, Red, you feel so good.”

  As Red pumped Laz’s cock, he slipped a finger between his cheeks, the tip circling the rim of his tightly puckered hole.

  “I can’t wait to feel you inside me,” Laz murmured softly, his hips moving a slow, sensual rhythm to match Red’s strokes while Red continued to feast on Laz’s skin. He kissed, licked, and nipped at all that smooth skin. Moving his finger away from Laz’s hole, Red pumped his own hard cock before slipping it between Laz’s asscheeks, rutting against him, moaning as his soapy member slid deliciously between those perky round globes. Laz moaned and began fucking Red’s hand, their bodies pressed tightly together as they both writhed and rutted against each other chasing their release.

  Red gently pushed a finger in, breaching his hole, and Laz bucked his hips, thrusting wildly into Red’s fist while at the same time fucking Red’s finger.

  “I wish you could see how damn hot you look.”

  “Just think about what I’ll look like being stretched by your gorgeous cock.”

  “Oh God.” Red thrust his hips, rutting against Laz’s thigh.

  “Mm, I bet it’s going to burn oh so good. We can do it on our knees, so you can watch my hole taking your big, fat dick inch by inch until you’re deep inside me.”

  “Laz….”

  “That’s it, baby. Fuck me with your finger, imagine it’s your dick.”

  Holy shit. He had no idea Laz could be such a little sex minx. Red released Laz, smiling at the little whimper he let out. He dropped to his knees, loving the way Laz cried out when Red swallowed his cock. He pumped himself, groaning as Laz’s fingers slipped into his hair. It was sweet how he stroked Red’s hair as Red worked his tongue and mouth around Laz’s erection. Laz trembled like he was going to come apart, and he doubled over as he emptied himself inside Red.

  The moment the salty come touched his tongue, Red came hard, his entire body shivering with pleasure. Laz let out a soft gasp, and Red pulled off him. He stood, and brought Laz into his arms for a kiss so Laz could taste himself. The little moan Laz let out was something Red could get used to. In fact, waking up next to Laz, showering with him, sleeping beside him were all things Red could get used to very quickly.

  Rushing into relationships was not something he did. He was far too cautious and reserved for that. He took his time assessing whether the relationship he was considering would be worth it in the end. It sounded a bit cold, but he refused to risk his heart on someone he couldn’t see spending his life with. Nothing was for certain in life, but that didn’t mean he was willing to open himself up to heartache. Whoever he gave his heart to would have to be someone who could accept him and all his broken pieces, knowing neither they nor he would ever be able to completely mend them.

  Laz smiled dreamily up at him, his gorgeous blue eyes filled with so much emotion, some of which Red couldn’t decipher. There was trust in there, and the fact that someone like Laz, after all he’d been through, could trust Red spoke volumes.

  “Good morning,” Laz said with a sweet sigh.

  Red chuckled. “Great morning.” He kissed Laz, drinking in his soft lips, loving the way Laz opened up for him. Their tongues danced as they leisurely explored each other’s mouth. Reluctantly he pulled away. “Let’s wash up so I can feed you.”

  Laz opened his mouth, but his stomach rumbled. With a grimace, he glared down at his stomach. “Seriously? We have a super-hot naked guy in the shower, and you’re just concerned about food. Traitor.”

  “You’re adorable,” Red said, popping a quick kiss on Laz’s lips before turning him. “No funny business.”

  “Define ‘funny business.’”

  Red laughed and playfully smacked Laz’s hand, which had started to wander up Red’s thigh.

  “Anything that’s not getting washed up and out of this shower,” Red replied, quickly washing himself up as Laz did the same.

  Laz’s sigh was very dramatic. “Fine.”

  They finished up in the shower and got out. Red handed Laz a towel and they dried themselves.

  “Oh.” Laz’s gasp caught Red’s attention, and he made to turn around, but Laz threw out a hand, stopping him. “No, wait. This is the first time I’ve seen your tattoo.” Laz trailed his finger down Red’s spine where the rod image of his tattoo was, and Red couldn’t help the shiver that went through him.

  “At first glance, I thought these were wings, except now that I look at it, they’re not.” Laz trailed his fingers over the lion heads in profile views on the back of his shoulders to each side of the snake heads, their manes looking like wings. His fingers moved to where Red knew the heart was that sat at the top of the rod, and then the crown above that. “What’s this symbol called again?”

  “It’s the Caduceus, or the Rod of Hermes.” Red stood exceptionally still as Laz traced the lines of his tattoo. It was a large piece, the lion manes behind each shoulder stretching from the center of his back out to his shoulders while the rod ended near his lower back.

  “Wait, it’s not the symbol for medicine?”

  “Yes and no. It’s sort of been adapted as the symbol of medicine because of all the confusion, which goes way back. The actual symbol of medicine is the Asclepius. It’s a rod with one snake wrapped around it, not two, and no wings.”

  “Won’t people assume your tattoo is connected to medicine?”

  “Most likely, and it would make sense, considering I was a medical sergeant.”

  “But that’s not why you got it.”

  “No.” Red swallowed hard. He headed into the bedroom, Laz close behind.

  “Why the Rod of Hermes?”

  Red picked up his pajama bottoms from the floor and slipped into them while Laz pulled on his own pants. “Hermes was the god of many things, but what struck me was that he was the only god who could leave the Underworld without consequences. It was his job to carry the souls of the dead to Hades. With his wand, he put men to sleep and sent them dreams.”

  “And you’re Hermes?”

  Red sat on the edge of the bed. “By the time I got the tattoo, I was already carrying the souls of the dead. When I lost my brothers, I knew their souls would always be a part of me. I can’t see the tattoo, but I know it’s there. Just like them.”

  “Oh, Red.” Laz stepped between his legs, and Red widened his stance so Laz could come closer. He closed his eyes, a sigh escaping him when Laz began stroking his hair.

  “Sorry, not really what you need to hear before coffee.”

  “I’m glad you told me.”

  Red pulled Laz against him, wrapping his arms around him, and laying his head in the crook of Laz’s neck. “I didn’t mean to unload all this on you so soon. Everything with us is still so new, and… I understand if it’s all too much for you.”

  “It’s not,” Laz promised.

  Red straightened and met Laz’s worried gaze. “Laz, what happened last night…. It could happen again. I mean, I’ve come a long way since I was diagnosed with PTSD, but I won’t ever be cured. I’ve been through a lot of therapy. I was on medication. In the very early days, King didn’t let me out of his sight because he was afraid I might hurt myself. My reactions to everything were explosive. I was in a real bad state and so damn angry. I took it out on Ace and the guys. King spent a good deal of his time breaking up fights between us, and although they’ll deny it, I was the one who started those fights nine times out of ten. I loved them, but at the same time, I couldn’t stop myself from hurting them, and that made me hate myself even more. I had nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks. It was a never-ending hell.”

  “I’m so sorry you suffered through all that,” Laz replied softly, caressing Red’s jaw. “After you gave so much….” His eyes grew glassy, and he pressed his lips together.

  “I’m sorry. See, I’m already upsetting you.”

  “You’re not upsetting me, Red. I’m upset for you. I’m grateful to King and the others for being there for you, but I’m so damned proud of you too.”

  Red blinked at him. “You are?”

  “Of course. My God, look at everything you went through, and look at you now.” His smile was brilliant, and it brought tears to Red’s eyes. Naaz had never wanted him to talk about his time in the military, especially not his time after. It hadn’t been that way early in their relationship. She’d been supportive, compassionate, but soon it began to wear on her, and the cracks started showing. He never blamed her, but it had been difficult because it was a part of him. Bad or good, it played a part in making him the man he was today. Laz leaned in and placed a tender kiss to Red’s brow.

  “You came back and started fighting a different war,” Laz said quietly. “You didn’t give up, Red.”

  “I tried. During my PE sessions, after all that therapy, when it came time for exposure and I heard that first explosion, it triggered me bad. When it was over, I thought I was done. No way in hell I was going back, but King wouldn’t let me.” A small chuckle escaped him when he thought back on it. “He decided he was going to sit in on those sessions with me, for support and so I wouldn’t storm out. Man, talk about if looks could kill.” He shook his head with a laugh. “You should have seen my face when I looked at him. It would have made the toughest soldier retreat, but not King. He’d just narrow his eyes that way he does when he’s daring you to try something.” Red demonstrated, making Laz laugh. “’Course it’s way scarier when he does it.”

  “See? You’re thinking back on that time and found something to smile about. I can’t begin to imagine what you went through, Red, but I can see that you put up one hell of a fight. You’ve come through the other side, and no, you’re not cured, but you are a changed man. You’re a far cry from the man who returned with so much anger in his heart. The Kings and the guys didn’t give up on you, and neither will I.”

  It was very sweet of Laz to say, but it was one thing to hear about the effects of PTSD and another to experience it. King had known how to deal with Red, the same way he knew how to deal with the rest of their brothers. The man just had this sixth sense when it came to people. He had an innate talent for assessing people and situations, then taking the appropriate action.

  King was also physically strong enough to subdue Red, and had on more than one occasion. Yet, Laz was the first person Red had been with who’d been so open and honest with him about his condition, who acknowledged that he wasn’t perfect, that he wasn’t completely whole, and that was okay.

  “Thank you.” Red kissed Laz, enjoying his warmth and affection. He’d never known anyone like Laz, and he hoped that whatever this was between them would continue to flourish into something wonderful. Red would certainly do his damned best to be everything Laz needed. When they came up for air, Red brushed his fingers down Laz’s jaw. “But promise me that if it gets too much, you’ll tell me.”

  “I promise.” Laz took Red’s hand in his and gave it a tug. “Come on. This time, I’ll make you breakfast.”

  “Are you sure? I’m happy to cook.” Red followed Laz’s lead and pulled on his T-shirt before heading out of the bedroom.

  “And I’m happy to have you cook your amazing food, but not this time. You’re going to sit that fine butt down at the counter and let me cook for you for once.”

  “Fine butt, huh?” Red growled playfully as he nipped at Laz’s neck, making him laugh. Yeah, he could easily get used to that laugh and the sweet open smile that followed. In truth, he could get used to all of Laz pretty quickly and happily.