“How is it different?”

  “Because you matter,” Lucky snapped. “None of those other people mattered, not the way you do, and you always have, Mason.” He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “If you didn’t, I would have slept with you the moment I found out you were attracted to me, and then that would have been it. After the surveillance job? The truck? That would have been it. I lied.”

  Mason frowned. “About what?”

  “About us having to share a bed. One of the other guards has a pullout couch in his room.” Lucky’s face burned with his confession, but since they were being honest….

  “Wait, so you’re telling me you wanted to share a bed?”

  Lucky shrugged. “I didn’t not want to share a bed.”

  “Nice try, darlin’, but that dog won’t hunt.”

  “You know, you have some very strange sayings in Texas.”

  “Is that right? This from the man who was talking about someone walking with his elbows?”

  Lucky snickered. “When someone is stingy with money, you say that person ‘camina con los codos.’ The cousin Ace and I were talking about is very cheap.”

  “Don’t go changing the subject, Eduardo. You wanted to share a bed with me.”

  Lucky sighed. “Yes, fine. I did.”

  “Why?”

  Lucky turned off on their exit. “Why do I need to answer this?”

  “Because I want to hear how much you wanted me.”

  Lucky stopped at a red light and turned to arch an eyebrow at a very smug-looking Mason. “Okay, after the night in the truck, and then again that night on the phone, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and… wanting you. Happy?”

  “If I felt any better, I’d think it was a setup. ’Course I am, darlin’. You’re crazy about me. That makes me very happy.”

  Lucky rolled his eyes. “Ay, Dios mío.” The light turned green. “Crazy? Most likely. Crazy about you? I need to think about this.” He ignored Mason’s chuckle.

  By the time they arrived back in the hotel room, it was six o’clock in the morning. Lucky brushed his teeth, removed his boots, and fell back into bed with a sigh. Mason turned off the lights before joining him. Maybe they could get a nap in before check-out.

  “You fellas make me feel like I should be doing more.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “All the charity stuff, the people you help. How you help out the families of your fallen brethren? That’s really something.”

  Lucky shrugged. “We’re blessed, you know? We survived, were given another chance at life. If we can help others who are not so fortunate, we will.”

  “It’s admirable.”

  “It’s family,” Lucky corrected. “That’s what families do.”

  “Not all families.”

  At Mason’s dark tone, Lucky rolled over, ending up face-to-face with Mason. He opened his mouth to speak but found no words as Mason reached up to caress his cheek.

  “You’re a better man than I am.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re a good man, Mason. Sometimes a bit pigheaded—Dios mío, but you are pigheaded—but you’re a good man.”

  “I’m not.” Mason’s eyes clouded over, and Lucky sat up, bringing his legs up and crossing them at the ankles.

  “Mason? Talk to me. Trust me.”

  With a sigh, Mason sat up. He turned, his legs over the side of the bed, and his back to Lucky. Needing to see his face, Lucky moved to sit next to him.

  “Thing is, I do trust you, Lucky, and I care about you, which is why coming clean to you is both a relief and one of the scariest things I’ve had to do in a very long time.” Mason took a steady breath. “A while back, I legally changed my name. Cooper’s my grandma’s maiden name. The name I was born with is Mason Chester Brooks Jr.”

  “Why did you change your name?”

  Mason hesitated, and Lucky placed his hand to his shoulder, his tone gentle.

  “Tell me.”

  “My family comes from money. Old money. Before I was born, my father decided to turn our ranch into a dude ranch. He wanted to capitalize on tourism. Our ranch was more of a resort. It was hard work, believe me, and while I was in college, my father expected me to go to school full-time and help out on the ranch.” Mason took another breath, as if bracing himself.

  “One summer, we got this huge tour group staying at the ranch, and my father called me up and said he needed me home to help. Every day after I finished with my classes, I’d rush over to the ranch and do whatever my daddy told me.” His lips curled in disgust at the words. “One afternoon my father calls me into his office and tells me I need to fire Josiah Foster, one of our ranch hands. I was stunned. Josiah had been with us for years; one of the best ranch hands we had. I’d never fired anyone before, and I especially didn’t want to fire Josiah, but I knew better than to refuse. When I asked my father what Josiah had done, he told me a child was in the hospital after being thrown off a horse that morning, and that was down to Josiah’s negligence.” Mason placed his fists on his thighs, his jaw clenched tight, and his gaze off in the distance. “That son of a bitch was lying through his teeth, and worst of all, he knew it.”

  “Who? Josiah?” Lucky asked, confused.

  “No.” Mason turned his tear-filled gaze to Lucky. “My father. Josiah tried to warn him about that horse, that it was acting up, but my father brushed it off as nonsense, convinced she was the kind of horse you could kick and she wouldn’t run. My father insisted Josiah was overreacting. He wasn’t about to spend money on another horse or lose money by cancelling the rides. I tried talking to my father about it after Josiah stormed off, but he didn’t want to hear another word about it.”

  “So someone gets hurt, your father blames Josiah, and then wants you to fire him?”

  Mason nodded.

  “What did you do?” Lucky asked softly.

  “I fired him.” A tear rolled down Mason’s cheek, and Lucky gently brushed it away with his thumb. It wasn’t the end of Mason’s story. Lucky could feel it down to his core. As much as he wanted to hear the rest, his heart was heavy for Mason and the guilt he carried for so long.

  “What happened after?”

  “Josiah was mad as hell, but not at me. With me, he was disappointed. He said, “I thought you were better than this, son.” Here I was studying to be a lawyer, and I was condemning a man I knew was innocent. The next day, my father wakes me up in the middle of the night and yells at me to get to the ranch. Josiah was there and up in arms, stating he had proof against my father’s accusations. My father said it was my mess and I had to fix it.”

  It took everything Lucky had in him to remain quiet and not curse Mason’s father. Instead, he waited patiently as Mason continued.

  “I was in the middle of finals and dead on my feet. I’d been working odd jobs under the table to earn money so I wouldn’t have to rely on my father. Anyway, I tried to convince him to let me come down in the morning, but when Chester Brooks gives an order, you damn well hop to it if you know what’s good for you. I set out to the ranch soon as I hung up the phone.”

  Lucky didn’t like where this was going, but he remained silent, needing to hear the words from Mason.

  “The road to the ranch is long and dark as fuck, with a few light poles scattered here and there. It’s mostly dirt, lined with nothing but miles and miles of dead grass and shrubbery. I was doing everything in my power to stay awake. Next thing I knew I was jerked awake by the sound of skidding tires and an explosive crash. I slammed on the brakes, and jumped out of the car.” A sob tried to escape Mason, but he quickly recovered, forcing it down inside so he could carry on with his story. “I ran over, stopping to be sick because my blood had turned to ice. I’d never seen a car so wrecked. It hit the light pole so hard it splintered the pole. Inside the car, the driver was….”

  Mason shook his head. “It was Josiah, and his wife Sally. Thank God their son, Ryden, wasn’t in the car that night. Ryden was only a few years younger than me, and all I could think about was what I’d done to his family. Anyway, I didn’t know what to do. I told Sally I’d go get help, but she told me to go home and not tell anyone. That she’d take care of everything, how my life didn’t have to be ruined. I didn’t want to go, but she started screaming and crying, yelling at me to go, to not tell anyone what happened.

  “When I got home, I was a right mess. I went straight to my parents, told them everything. I was a stupid kid. I didn’t know what the fuck to do, so I turned to the people who I thought would help. The look my father gave me….” Mason shut his eyes tight, his bottom lip trembling. “Like I was his biggest failure. I mean, it was bad enough I was queer, but now this? He said he’d take care of it like he did everything and to not say a word. I told him maybe we should tell the truth, but all that got me was the back of my father’s hand. The next day, Sally came to talk to my father, and the day after that, my parents shipped me off to my aunt and uncle’s ranch in Montana.

  Lucky ran his hand in soothing circles on Mason’s back, not knowing what to say. He knew Mason wasn’t finished unloading the heavy weight he’d carried for so long.

  “I was sure news would hit the papers, the radio, something. I expected people to show up on my aunt’s doorstep with pitchforks, or at the very least the police to come and take me away in handcuffs. I waited for Ryden to show up wanting retribution for what I’d done, but I never heard from him. For years, I looked over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. I changed careers and decided to do criminal justice instead. I changed my name, making it harder for my family to find me, because I know whatever happened, my parents had something to do with it. Then I became a cop. I wanted to help people, to maybe stop a kid like me from doing something stupid and ruining someone’s life.” Mason let out a shuddering breath. “It wasn’t bad enough I allowed an innocent man to take the blame for a crime he didn’t commit, but I fired him for it, and then I killed him. I killed a man, Lucky, and then I ran like the coward I am. I’ve never stopped running.”

  “You’re not a coward, Mason, and you’re not running. Not anymore. You’ve spent your life trying to make up for what happened to Josiah. Was what happened to him wrong? Yes. Was it tragic? Absolutely. Could it have been avoided? That we will never know. Does what happened make you a killer? No, of course not.” Lucky pushed off the bed and came to stand in front of Mason. “For as long as I have known you, you’ve been haunted by this.” He put a hand to Mason’s heart, smiling warmly when Mason covered Lucky’s hand with his. “You have a very kind heart, one that has been filled with so much pain and guilt. That is not the heart of a bad man.” With his free hand, he brushed Mason’s hair from his face. “You cared for my cousin very much, and because you felt unworthy, you let him walk away.”

  “It just wasn’t meant to be, but maybe that’s a good thing.” Mason pulled Lucky close, wrapped his arms around him, and lay his brow against Lucky’s chest.

  “You’re a good man, Mason, and you deserve to be loved.”

  “There’s so much I want to say to that, darlin’, but it would probably terrify us both.”

  Lucky lifted Mason’s face, their eyes meeting. “Then do not say anything. Show me.”

  Chapter 10

  Show me.

  How could two little words have the power to undo him so completely?

  Mason pulled Lucky down to straddle his lap, his arms wrapped around Lucky’s slender frame, pressing their bodies together. Lucky wasn’t just beautiful; he was a whirlwind of passion and contradiction. The light in his soul burned bright, shining through the flecks of amber in his whiskey-colored eyes. It was all or nothing with Lucky, a roller coaster ride of emotions that sucked everyone around him into his orbit. Mason had never been pulled in so many directions by one person before, and he loved it, craved it.

  Until now, Mason had been living half a life, fearful of finding happiness knowing he would lose it all too quickly because a man like him didn’t deserve to be happy. Kissing Lucky, tasting his lips, feeling his warmth and affection, Mason was no longer willing to let happiness slip through his fingers. He wanted to hold on, to share his life with the gorgeous man who hadn’t been content to merely poke and prod him until he woke from the fog he’d lost himself in, but who’d dragged him out of the darkness, ready to give as good as he got.

  Mason stopped kissing Lucky long enough to pull his shirt over his head. He couldn’t think of anything he loved more than kissing Lucky.

  “I want to ride you, Cowboy.”

  Mason ran his hands up Lucky’s smooth, soft skin. “I touch you, and I just want to drop to my knees and worship you.”

  Lucky’s smile was radiant. It quickly turned sinful as he climbed off Mason’s lap. He spread Mason’s knees, and knelt between them, reaching for Mason’s waistband. “I will let you worship me, if you let me take care of you. You need someone to take care of you.”

  “I do,” Mason said hoarsely. “I never knew how much I wanted that until you.” Mason cupped Lucky’s cheek, loving the way Lucky leaned into the touch then kissed his palm. Lucky tugged at Mason’s pajama bottoms and underwear, urging him to lift his hips. As soon as he did, Lucky pulled them down and off. Mason removed his shirt and tossed it to the floor, where it joined Lucky’s. He kept his eyes on Lucky’s, a shiver running through him as Lucky slid his hands up Mason’s thighs, caressing his skin. Having Lucky kneeling between his legs, the want in his eyes as he wrapped a hand around Mason’s hard cock was enough to have Mason grabbing fistfuls of the blanket.

  Lucky took Mason deep into his throat, and Mason bucked his hips, a string of curses leaving his lips at the sudden wet heat. Instead of frenzied sucking, Lucky moved leisurely, making love to Mason’s cock with his mouth. Mason wanted to close his eyes and throw his head back, but that would mean missing the glorious sight of Lucky’s plump lips wrapped around him, or the way his hand moved on his own dick as he sucked Mason off. Soon it was too much, and Mason pulled Lucky off him and up into his lap, kissing him until they were forced to come up for air.

  “Get the lube and condom,” Mason said, breathless.

  “Lube, yes. Condom, no.”

  Mason stared at him. “Are you sure?”

  “You were tested recently, no?”

  “Yeah, and you know all about the cough medicine. Everything else came back negative.”

  “And we get tested every quarter at work, the last one being a few weeks ago. The results were negative. I can show you.” Lucky ran his fingers through Mason’s hair. His voice soft. “I’ve never had sex without protection, I promise.”

  Mason brushed his fingers down Lucky’s cheek. “I believe you, baby.”

  With a sweet kiss to Mason’s lips, Lucky left him to get the lube, and Mason moved back onto the bed, his arm behind his head against the pillow, his eyes never leaving Lucky. The window provided enough moonlight for Mason to see Lucky’s tattoo. It was stunning, running from his torso down over his hip to his thigh. The bottom of the tattoo was a mirror image of the top but flipped. The artwork was intricate and detailed, the profile of the lion’s head majestic. A sword entwined with roses, vines, and thorns rested at an angle over the expanse of the lion’s mane. A large cursive “L” was displayed prominently in the center, and much like a playing card, on the top left and flipped on the bottom right was a black clover. The whole thing must have taken hours upon hours with the amount of detail.

  Lucky climbed onto the bed beside Mason, and Mason let out a low growl, unable to stop himself from reaching out and putting his hands on Lucky. Following his lead, Lucky straddled Mason and leaned in to kiss him, his lips soft against Mason’s. He tasted so damn good, and Mason ran his hands up Lucky’s toned arms to his back before caressing his way down Lucky’s back to his firm, round ass. Mason slipped a finger between his cheeks, and Lucky moaned against his lips. He sat back and took hold of Mason’s hand, then poured a generous amount of lube onto his fingers.

  “Fuck me with your fingers, Cowboy. Get me ready.” Lucky lay on Mason, his arms wrapped around Mason’s head, and his knees drawn up as far as he could get them to give Mason easy access.

  Mason cursed under his breath, and grabbed hold of Lucky’s asscheek, pressing a finger to his hole. He loved the way Lucky shivered, how he closed his eyes while a deep groan rose up from his chest. Mason did as Lucky asked, fucking him with first one finger then two until he had Lucky writhing and panting.

  “Please, Mason.”

  “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Lucky opened his eyes, those pools of whiskey mesmerizing. When he spoke, his words were all but whispered. “Then don’t.”

  Something inside Mason broke loose at the quiet words, and a shiver racked his body. He released a shuddering breath, as if he were taking air into his lungs for the first time in decades. At that moment it struck him how fiercely he never wanted to hurt Lucky.

  Lucky kissed Mason, and Mason swore he felt it down to his bones. Lucky’s kiss was filled with more than affection. It was a desperate plea filled with an emotion Mason was too afraid to give a name to, because if he did and he was wrong, it would break him.

  “Lucky,” Mason breathed as Lucky moved his lips to Mason’s jaw, trailing kisses down to his neck where he nipped and licked. Lucky moved Mason’s hand to position himself, his eyes locked on Mason’s as he guided the tip of Mason’s cock to his entrance. With a wince, Lucky pushed Mason inside him, slowly, torturously.

  Mason’s eyes all but rolled into the back of his head as Lucky sank down onto him until his ass was sitting against Mason’s groin. A small huff of breath and Lucky was slowly moving, undulating his hips, his hands on Mason’s chest. He leaned forward, taking Mason’s lips in a sweet but ardent kiss. Lucky’s fingers entwined in his hair, and when they were forced to come up for air, Lucky nipped at Mason’s bottom lip. With a sinful smile, he sat back, lifting his hips, then impaling himself on Mason’s cock.