“No, I’m okay.” She ran her hands up and down her bare arms.

  Matt sat beside her, settling his arm around her shoulders. “Do you want my jacket? Are you cold?”

  She shook her head, looking no less miserable than she had when she fled from the table. “No, I’m fine.” She looked at the black and gold carpet. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

  “I’m glad you did,” he whispered, wishing he could say or do something to take away the sting of that bastard’s insult. “I was hoping I’d get to see you again… and again and again.” He grinned when a smile softened her lips as she looked at him. “That’s better. I love your smile.”

  The smile blossomed as she laid her head on his shoulder. “I have lousy taste in men. I always have the best intentions, swearing that it’s going to be different. But it never is.”

  “Never say never.” He didn’t know a lot about Kristen’s dating history, but he didn’t have to. He had half a dozen female friends who’d told him the same story. They were all smart and beautiful, yet their love lives were a disaster because they always chose a man who broke their heart.

  “I wish I could just let it go.” She sighed softly. “I have, but a part of me still wants to find my happily ever after, you know?”

  “We all want that.” He’d been blessed with a good example of a solid marriage, and he wanted to set the same example for his own kids. He saw how in love his friend Zach was with his new wife and son, and he wanted the same for himself.

  “It gets lonely sometimes,” she said, barely loud enough for him to hear. “Coming home to an empty apartment every night.” She sniffled. “I guess it doesn’t help that I hate my apartment.”

  “So why don’t you find a new place, one you like better?”

  “My mother tells me if I get too comfortable, too set in my ways, I’ll give up on the idea of ever finding someone to share my life.” She slid a wide silver ring off her index finger. “She’s probably right.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Matt said. “I happen to love my house, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be willing to start a new life somewhere else if I found the love of my life and she had other ideas about where we should live.”

  Before Kristen could respond, they heard a car pull up outside. “Sounds like your driver’s here,” she said, standing.

  He rested his hands on her shoulders. He still saw the sadness in her eyes, and more than anything, he wanted to banish it, to make her forget about the man who’d never deserved her love. “Why don’t we go back to my place for a nightcap?”

  She tried to pull away, but he held firm. “I don’t think so. I have to work tomorrow and—”

  “Just one drink.” Spending a little time at his home would be exactly what she needed to take her mind off her problems for a while. “Come on, it’s still early, and you haven’t even given me a chance to talk you into planning our anniversary party yet.”

  Her mouth twitched, but she tried to remain serious. “I thought I told you I couldn’t fit that into my schedule.”

  “I know what you said.” He put his arm around her as he led her out to the waiting limo. “But I should have warned you, I can be persuasive when I want something.” He looked down at her face. She was even more stunning than the image that had remained alive in his memory for so many years.

  “Is that so?”

  “Give me a chance to prove it?”

  She looked torn between following her head and her heart. Matt could only hope her heart would lead her in the same direction as his. “Okay, but I can’t make any promises.”

  “I won’t ask for any.” He kissed the back of her hand as Lawrence opened the door for them. “Yet.”

  ***

  Kristen gasped as she stepped over the threshold of Matt’s bungalow. It was perfect. Not because it was big and opulent, as she’d expected, but because it was the exact opposite. The house was small and cozy, warm and welcoming, the last place she would expect a guy like Matt to want to call home.

  The exterior was natural stone and board-and-batten siding. It wasn’t too big or too small. The inside felt like a sanctuary with caramel-colored walls, dark wood floors and trim, a stone fireplace, and earth-tone furniture. She saw that most of the windows were bare. Apparently the mature trees in the backyard provided all the privacy he wanted or needed.

  “I love it,” she whispered. Her eyes drifted to the dining room, where she spotted a large table and six chairs she suspected were antique. That room had rust-colored velvet drapes, simple yet elegant, with a walnut server highlighting a stunning painting Kristen couldn’t take her eyes off of. It was a street scene in the autumn. She didn’t recognize the street, but it could have been the main street in any small town across the country.

  “Do you like it?” he asked, his eyes fixed on the painting.

  “It’s beautiful.” Breathtaking was the word that came to mind. The painting made her feel something, yearn for something she’d never had and always wanted.

  “My mother painted it.”

  “Really?” Kristen moved into the room to get a closer look. “It’s incredible.”

  “I have several of her pieces. I can show them to you, if you’d like?”

  Kristen didn’t just want to see them; she wanted to own one. She wanted to hang it in a prominent place in her office to remind herself that places like that really did exist, and if she ever found her way out from behind her desk, she just might be lucky enough to find such a haven. As she got closer, she saw antique shops and a store housing seasonal decorations, handmade clothing, and jewelry. “Does your mother sell her work in a gallery?”

  Matt chuckled. “My father had to buy her a gallery when they ran out of wall space in their house.”

  “Really?” Excitement coursed through her when she realized she could own such a piece. If she couldn’t afford an original, perhaps his mother sold prints in her gallery. “Do you have one of her business cards? I’d love to visit her gallery.”

  “I should have.” Matt stepped into the foyer, reached into an ornate wood desk, and pulled out a glossy postcard. “Here’s a promo piece for an event she hosted last month. Her website, email, and address are on there, but if you’d like to see more of her work, it would be best to visit their house. She keeps all of her favorite pieces there.”

  Kristen looked at him, trying to decide if he was serious. He’d never even invited her on a date, yet he was asking if she’d like to meet his parents? “Um, I’m sure she has some lovely pieces at her gallery.” She gestured toward the piece on the wall. “If there are any like this…” He looked at her so intently, she couldn’t find words. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I knew you’d react this way. Don’t ask me how, but I just knew you’d feel it too.”

  “Feel what?” she asked, experiencing a breathlessness she couldn’t quite explain.

  “The way I do.” He stepped closer, setting the card on the table as he reached for her hand. “When I walked into this house the first time, it felt like the place I’d always belonged. I didn’t look at any other houses. I didn’t have to. I knew this would be my sanctuary.”

  Sanctuary. That was a perfect word to describe his house. It didn’t feel as though it belonged in a bustling city. It felt as though it belonged in the country, by the sea, or with a panoramic view of the mountains.

  “You feel it too, don’t you?” He searched her face as though he was as in awe of her as she was of his home. “The history here? The good memories, the love, the laughter, the warmth…” He smiled. “There was a leather-bound book on the dining table when I came to look at the house. It outlined the history, with pictures of all the families who’d lived here since it was built in the late 1800s.”

  Kristen wanted to ask what happened to the book and if she could see it. But before she could, he brushed her hair off her shoulder and moved in closer.

  “I’ve learned to act on instinct. I felt it in my bones that this house was supposed to be mine. This was the place I was supposed to bring my future wife, the place we were supposed to make our babies…”

  Kristen was stunned by his candor. She’d never known a man to be so honest and vulnerable about what he felt. “Did you and your wife live here?” If they had, the haven would be tainted for her somehow.

  “No. I bought it after the divorce. It was time for me to start over, to start a new chapter in my life.”

  “I can understand that.”

  He reached for her wrists and kissed her pulse point before wrapping her arms around his neck. “Do you ever feel like it’s time to start a new chapter? To leave the past behind, forget about all the people who’ve hurt you, the disappointment and anger, and just take another chance on life?”

  It sounded as though he was making an offer she couldn’t refuse, but Kristen had to tread carefully. She still had scars on her heart to remind her of what happened when she fell in love.

  “It feels good to let go, doesn’t it?” He brushed his lips against the hair covering her cheek. “To forget everything and everyone and just live for the moment?”

  “I wouldn’t know.” Kristen had never been reckless. She’d witnessed first-hand what happened when someone chose to live fast and loose with their life. Closing her eyes and leaning her head on Matt’s shoulder, she thought about her baby brother, Lionel.

  “Maybe you just need someone to teach you how.” He brushed her hair aside and tipped her head back. “Hey, why do you look so sad?”

  “Just thinking about something I’d rather forget.” But she would never forget. Lionel had loved motocross racing. No matter how often they warned him it could be dangerous, he lived for the next race. Until the one that took his life.

  “You wanna talk about it?”

  Kristen shook her head. He was only trying to help, but she couldn’t. “Maybe some other time.”

  “I like the sound of that,” he said, caressing her face. “That means there will be another time.”

  How could he doubt she’d want to see him again? As dangerous as it was to risk putting her heart on the line again, she would make herself crazy thinking about him if she refused to see him again. “I hope so.” He looked at her a long time, and she almost saw his internal struggle. He wanted to say something, but he didn’t know if he should. “What? What are you thinking?”

  He smiled. “I’m thinking I could use a glass of wine. How about you?”

  Matt let his hands fall, and she missed his skin on hers. “Sure.” She didn’t want to push too hard. Kristen had dated enough men who wanted more than she could give, and she’d vowed she would never be the one asking her partner to be all that she needed him to be. She wasn’t that woman, the needy one. That had been her mother’s M.O., and it would never be hers.

  Matt led her deeper into the house and pointed to a deep cocoa-colored sofa in front of the fireplace. “Why don’t you have a seat while I get us that drink?”

  The gourmet kitchen was combined with the spacious great room, giving her the opportunity to watch him prepare their drinks. “I normally call it a night after one drink.”

  “I can have Lawrence drive you home.”

  She’d left her car in the hotel parking lot, knowing she could always take a taxi to pick it up. “It’s nice of you to offer, but I can take a cab home.”

  “Or you could spend the night with me.” His hand froze on the corkscrew over the bottle of red wine as he waited for her response.

  “I…” She’d never had a one-night stand, never even been tempted. Matt’s offer made her wonder what it would feel like to wake up in his arms though.

  “I have a couple of guest rooms. If you’d rather stay here, you’re more than welcome to.”

  Of course that’s what he meant. Matt was a gentleman, and she chastised herself for thinking he may have had an ulterior motive. “I really should get home. I have an early morning.”

  “But it’s Sunday.” He carried two glasses of wine and the bottle into the family room. Setting the bottle on the mahogany coffee table, he said, “Everyone needs a day of rest.”

  Kristen thanked him as she took both of the glasses. She watched him remove his jacket and toss it over a nearby chair before taking off his tie and undoing the buttons at his wrists and neck. She sucked in a sharp breath when she saw the tattoo she’d been curious about. It was a woman’s portrait. A stunning woman.

  His eyes followed hers, and he grimaced. “Not the smartest decision I ever made.” He took his glass of wine before sitting down.

  She held his arm to look closer at the colorful tattoo. It was a work of art. He must have believed they would be together forever, otherwise he wouldn’t have marked his skin with her image. “She’s beautiful. Your ex-wife?” As if she didn’t know.

  “Yeah.” He tried to pull his arm away, but she gripped his forearm.

  “It must have been hard, letting her go.”

  “You have no idea.”

  Kristen felt the impact of his words, his bitterness, anguish, and resentment. She could see he was a long way from being over his divorce. “You still love her?”

  “No.”

  He said it too quickly for Kristen to believe him. “How long have you been divorced?”

  “A little over a year.”

  “That’s not very long.”

  “It’s long enough.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  He took a drink then another. “No, she’s the last thing I want to think about tonight.”

  “But you are thinking about her.”

  “I’m thinking about her because you asked about her.” He sighed. “Look, Kristen, she means nothing to me, okay? Can we just forget about it, please?”

  She had no right to pry, but it hurt that he seemed so determined to shut her out. “I’m sorry, I just—”

  “No, I’m sorry.” He reached for her free hand. “It was a bad time in my life, not one that I enjoy thinking about.”

  “It must be hard to forget with a constant reminder.” Her eyes landed on the tattoo again.

  “Tattoos are like chapters in a book. Robin was one chapter; she wasn’t the whole book.”

  “Then you have others? Tattoos, I mean?”

  He grinned. “Yeah, quite a few.”

  “Can I see them?” She knew that was a bold question since she didn’t know where they were.

  “Sure.” He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, watching her as though he was waiting for her to stop him.

  Kristen brought her wine glass to her lips as she watched him strip his white dress shirt. Sure enough, several colorful, well-placed tattoos marked his tanned skin. An eagle soared between his shoulder blades. On the inside of his other forearm was another portrait. She suspected the mature woman was his mother. The last tattoo was a large piece on his chest. The scene was difficult to see in the dim light, but she knew it was done by a true artist, as were all the others.

  “They’re beautiful,” she said. She appreciated all types of art, even body art, though she’d never have the courage to endure that kind of pain in the name of vanity. Her eyes drifted back to the piece of Robin.

  “I wouldn’t erase it even if I could,” he said, reaching for his shirt and slipping it back on.

  She was afraid she’d offended him. “Of course not. Why would you?” She sipped her wine, hoping he’d let the subject go.

  “My buddies ask me all the time why I don’t just get it lasered or covered up with another piece.”

  “But you don’t want to?” That shouldn’t bother her, but she had trouble imagining making love to a man who wore another woman’s face on his skin as a reminder of their time together.

  “No, I don’t.” He rested his arm on the back of the couch. He let her long hair slide through his fingers as he fixated on the silky strands instead of her face. “It reminds me of what I had and lost. What I want to find again. Only next time, I want it to be real. What I had with Robin was just an illusion.”

  Kristen swallowed, trying to come to terms with the fact that he’d obviously loved his wife deeply. She’d never known love like that. Robert had been a good match for her on paper. He had all of the qualities she believed she was looking for, but as it turned out, none of substance.

  “I want to find love again.” He looked in her eyes. “The kind that makes me want to jump out of bed because I can’t wait to see her. Lingering kisses that I never want to end. Long phone calls in the middle of the night, talking about the future, kids, the life we dream of building together.” He smiled. “Robin was on the road a lot. We didn’t spend much time in the same city.”

  She got a burning sensation in her stomach when she realized that the first man she’d been interested in a long, long time still harbored feelings for his former wife. She leaned forward to set her wine glass on the table. “It was nice to see you again. But I really should get going.”

  Grabbing her wrist, he said, “You can’t leave now, not like this.” His eyes landed on her lips, and he didn’t even try to tear his gaze away. “You made me feel something a lifetime ago, Kristen. I still feel that when we’re together.”

  Kristen held her breath, praying he couldn’t tell she was hanging on his every word and praying he’d say something to dispel her doubts about him. “I don’t know if you’re ready for a relationship. I don’t even know if I am. It hasn’t been that long since my engagement ended and—”

  “He didn’t deserve you.” Matt moved in closer, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck. “I may not deserve you either, but I’d spend every moment we’re together trying to be the man who can give you what you need.”

  She planted her hands firmly on his shoulders, trying to keep him at a safe distance. “This is happening too fast. I’m not ready.” She would never be ready to give herself to a man whose heart may belong to someone else. How long before Robin realized her mistake and called, begging him to take her back? And where would that leave Kristen? On the cold side of an empty bed while her lover chased his dream.