“You know me, Kristen. You know I’m a decent guy.”

  She knew the boy he used to be, but she had no idea about the man he’d become. He chased thrills with extreme sports, had his heart broken by a beautiful model, made a fortune as a business mogul, and rode in the back of limos wearing designer suits and diamond watches.

  “I can’t stay,” she said, struggling to get up.

  “Look at me,” he whispered, touching her face gently. “What are you running from?”

  Chapter Four

  Matt felt like a man on the verge of drowning, struggling for a life preserver he couldn’t quite reach. Even though he hadn’t seen Kristen in years, her image had drifted in and out of his fantasies. Then she was in his arms, and he didn’t want to let her go.

  “I’m not running from anything.”

  He saw the heartbreak in her eyes, and he wanted to knock some sense into the man who’d put it there. Robert Channing didn’t have the right to occupy the same space as Kristen, much less call her his fiancée. He didn’t know what Robert had done to hurt her, but it must have done a number on her if the thought of loving again filled her with such fear.

  “I just want us to try.” Matt was pushing too hard, but he wasn’t used to giving up without a fight. “One date, let’s just see how it goes.”

  “I’m not ready to date”—her eyes fell to his open shirt—“someone like you, Matt.”

  “‘Someone like me’? What does that mean?”

  “I need safety and security. You don’t seem like the kind of guy who thrives on those things.”

  She was asking for a guarantee he couldn’t give her. He had no idea where their relationship could go, but he knew he’d spend the rest of his life wondering if he didn’t coax her into giving him a chance.

  “You were my fantasy girl in high school,” he said, trying to draw a smile from her, to lighten the mood and make her forget about leaving. Maybe if he reminded her of the guy he used to be, the friend she’d enjoyed spending time with, she wouldn’t see him as a threat to her fragile heart.

  Instead of smiling, the anguished look in her eyes intensified. “This isn’t high school. We’ve both suffered through our share of battle scars. We’re too old to waste time on a relationship that could never work.”

  “How do you know we couldn’t work?” Matt knew his frustration was evident in his voice. He wasn’t used to working so hard to make his case. He wasn’t a bad guy, and most people sensed that without having to be convinced.

  “You live your life one way. I live my life a completely different way.”

  “What the hell does that mean?” He leaned back, giving her some space. If she was still determined to leave, nothing he could say or do would convince her to stay. “You haven’t even asked me about my life. How do you know whether we have things in common?”

  “Fine.” She looked prepared to indulge him. “What do you do for fun?”

  Matt winced inwardly, knowing his answer wouldn’t help his case. “I go sky-diving. I love taking my boat out on the water for deep sea fishing and water skiing. I ride my bike across the country when…” He stopped speaking when her face lost color. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She shook her head. “You know what I do for fun? Curl up with a cup of herbal tea and a good book. Watch re-runs of seventies and eighties sitcoms. Go out for dinner or a movie with my girlfriends. Shop or go to the spa. That’s it. When I’m not working, that’s my life.”

  She was trying to make him see that they were all wrong for each other, but her case would have to be a lot more convincing if she wanted him to lose interest in her. “I like to read, watch TV, and go out for dinner or a beer with friends.” He grinned. “Okay, so I’m not all that big on shopping, and I’ve never set foot inside a spa, but you might be able to talk me into a couples massage.”

  She laughed, obviously losing the battle to hold it in. “Did you and your ex have anything in common?”

  “Not really.”

  “I suspected as much.” She shook her head. “Don’t you want to find someone who shares your interests, who wants to do the things you love to do?”

  “You don’t think I’ve tried that?” He rolled his eyes. “Believe me, I have. You know what I realized?”

  “No, what?”

  “It’s not about how compatible you are on paper. It’s about how you feel when you’re together.”

  “I suppose that’s true,” she said, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth, looking uncertain.

  “Besides, we have a lot of things in common.”

  “Such as?”

  “We both appreciate art, and I’m guessing antiques?”

  “How did you know I like antiques?” She tipped her head back and narrowed her eyes.

  “I saw the way you were admiring my dining room earlier.”

  “Very perceptive.”

  “So listen, why don’t you blow off work tomorrow? We’ll take a drive to Fredericksburg, take in the fall colors, and visit some antique shops. On the way back, we can pass by my mother’s gallery. What do you say?” He could tell she was struggling to decide whether she could afford to take a whole day off work. “Come on, it’ll be fun. I promise.”

  “It does sound like fun, but that’s a four-hour drive and—”

  Matt knew there was only one way to win her over. He framed her face with his hands, giving her half a second to tell him to back off before he took her mouth. He was soft and gentle until her moan stoked his hunger, and he had to take the kiss deeper. She gave as good as she got. Without even realizing the effect she had on him, she made all of his teenage fantasies a mind-blowing reality. Even in his dreams, kissing her had never felt like that. Her tongue duelled with his, stroking and teasing, warring and surrendering, making his body come alive with a desire that rivaled anything he’d ever felt.

  “Yes,” she said, heaving a sigh when she pulled back. “Yes.”

  That one simple word held a wealth of promise that gave him hope he hadn’t had in a long, long time. “You wanna stay tonight? We could get an early start in the morning.”

  “I should go.”

  He’d never been so close to begging, but she’d already met him halfway. It wouldn’t be long before she spent the night with him, and it wouldn’t be in his guest room. “Okay, let me text Lawrence. He said he’d hang around in case you needed a ride home.”

  “Thanks.”

  “No, thank you.” He stole one last kiss. “For making this a night I’ll never forget.”

  ***

  Kristen rolled her window halfway down so she could enjoy the autumn breeze whipping through her hair. The weather was perfect for the day he had planned, mid-sixties, and she’d dressed accordingly. Kristen already felt younger and freer than she had in a long time. When Matt had shown up with large lattes and chocolate croissants, he told her calories didn’t count that day, it was all about fun and indulgence. Since it had been so long since she had much of either, she agreed.

  “What are you thinking about?” He reached across the console for her hand.

  It felt so right, so natural, being with him. She cautioned herself against getting too comfortable. Her subconscious had fooled her into believing the same was true of Robert in the beginning, and she would do well to remember that. “I’m just enjoying this. It’s not often I get to play hooky from work.”

  “You have to make time for yourself once in a while.”

  “Now you sound like my mother,” she said, smiling.

  “How is your family?” He returned his attention to the road. “If memory serves, your mama was an elementary school librarian and your daddy was an insurance agent, right? Wait, you have a younger brother too. His name is…?”

  “Lionel.” She was touched he remembered so much about her. She’d mentioned those things in passing during study breaks, never expecting him to remember every little detail. Clearly her impression of Matt was accurate—he was a good listener. “He passed away quite a few years ago.”

  “Oh God,” he said, gripping her hand tighter. “I’m sorry, Kris. I had no idea. I remember you telling me you two were close. That must have been hard on you.”

  “It was hard on all of us.” Especially her mother, who felt she’d failed in her job to protect her babies from harm.

  “Do you mind if I ask how it happened?”

  “Motocross racing.” She looked out the window, but the vivid leaves she’d been admiring moments ago seemed dull and lifeless. “He died doing what he loved.”

  “How old was he?”

  “Eighteen.”

  “Jesus,” he whispered, “he didn’t even have a chance.”

  “No, he didn’t.” That was what hurt her the most, knowing he’d been cheated out of realizing all of his dreams. She sighed. “My dad kind of checked out on us after that, not that he was home all that often to begin with. It wasn’t easy spending time at home while running a successful insurance agency and trying to keep his mistress a secret from his family.”

  “Your father was having an affair?” he asked quietly.

  “Yeah, my mom found out about it right after my brother died. It was too much for her to cope with. She drank to numb the pain until after she lost her job for showing up for work after a few glasses of wine.” Kristen shuddered. “Finally she pulled herself together, kicked my dad out, went to AA, and opened a little bookstore.”

  “Did she ever remarry?”

  “Yeah, she met a great guy a few years ago. Phillip. They got married last summer at his place in Vermont. I’ve never seen my mother so happy.”

  “That’s nice.” A faint smiled crossed his lips. “Do you see her often?”

  “Not as often as she’d like. I’m busy with work.” Kristen tipped her head back against the black leather seat of his A8, enjoying the feel of his warm hand wrapped around hers. She hadn’t enjoyed physical contact with a man in a while, and Matt was so comforting, so reassuring. She felt she could tell him almost anything.

  “How did she feel about you ending your relationship with Robert?”

  Kristen giggled. “She stopped just short of throwing a party to celebrate.”

  “So she wasn’t his biggest fan?”

  “She liked him well enough in the beginning, but over time, she said he struck her as insincere. He was trying too hard to prove to me and everyone else that he was perfect for me.”

  “So that’s why you ended it?”

  She tipped her head toward Matt. Keeping the truth from him felt wrong somehow. “No, I ended it because he cheated on me. He swore it only happened one time, but as far as I’m concerned, once is enough. Once a cheater, always a cheater.” Kristen expected Matt to condemn her ex, or at least concur with her, but when he said nothing, she noticed the tension in his hand. “Are you okay?”

  Matt cleared his throat. “Yeah sure, fine. Do you want to grab a bite to eat? I could go for a burger.”

  Kristen was surprised by the rapid shift in discussion, but she wasn’t eager to dwell on Robert’s infidelity. “Sounds good.”

  They drove a few miles with only a classic rock CD to soften the silence. Kristen could tell Matt’s mood had changed, though she couldn’t understand the reason. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would judge her because her family was less than perfect or because she’d been foolish enough to trust a man who betrayed her. So what was his problem?

  His phone rang, reining her thoughts back in. Matt’s frown deepened. He withdrew his hand from hers and punched the disconnect button on the steering wheel as soon as the number flashed across the screen on his dashboard.

  “If you wanted to answer that—”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Okay.”

  Matt sighed, gripping the steering wheel with both hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

  “It’s all right.” It wasn’t. Their perfect day was on a downward spiral, and she felt helpless to stop it. She had no idea what she’d said or done to change his mood, but she was tired of playing cat-and-mouse with complicated men who expected her to be a mind reader. “Maybe we should just bag this idea. If we turn around now, I can still get some work done today.”

  He looked at her as if she’d proposed he drive into an oncoming truck in a suicide pact. “What are you talking about?”

  “I don’t know what your problem is, but frankly, I don’t have the energy to try to figure it out.”

  “Is that what you do when things get tough, run instead of fight? Have you ever been in a relationship worth fighting for? Have you ever loved a man enough to make you want to stand your ground instead of fleeing to the safety of your comfortable little world?”

  “How dare you judge me!” She turned to face him, shooting daggers with her eyes. “Have you heard a word I said? My track record with men is lousy. My father was a selfish bastard who lied to his family for years. My fiancé was a dirtbag who cheated on me.” She choked back a sob. “I couldn’t even count on my baby brother to stick around.” Covering her mouth with her hand, she cursed herself for letting her emotions spill out. She was usually so good at keeping her anger and frustration in check.

  Matt pulled over in the parking lot of a family-style restaurant and pulled her into his arms as soon as he had the car in park. “I’m sorry, baby.” He stroked her hair. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “You didn’t,” she said, trying to wrestle free. “It’s not your fault. Please, just take me home. Let’s forget this ever happened.”

  “Not a chance.” He released her with a sigh when she continued struggling. “Listen, I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of, but I would never intentionally hurt you. Do you believe me?”

  How could she trust her own judgment? “I don’t know.” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she covered her face with her hands. She couldn’t afford to make another mistake. The best course of action was to return to her office and forget all about Matt, but she feared her heart may have a hard time letting her do that.

  He rubbed her back before brushing her long hair aside so he could see her face. “I’m not big on trying to win over a woman who isn’t interested in me. I don’t like games, and I don’t like women who play games.” When she started to protest, he said, “Just hear me out. I’ve dated too many women like that, and I know you’re different. You’re genuine and sincere and…” He smirked. “I’m crazy about you.”

  Kristen opened and closed her mouth. “You don’t even know me.”

  “The girl you were back then, the one who kept me awake at night, and the woman you are now aren’t all that different.”

  “You’re wrong.” She wished she could go back to being the young and innocent high school student who didn’t know how much it hurt to have her heart broken or watch her family being torn apart. “I’m nothing like I was back then. Life’s had its way with me. I’ve grown up, for better or worse.”

  “Look, we all have bruises, battle scars. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t trade mine for anything.” He grinned when she looked at him as though he’d lost his mind. “Would it have been nice to be the quarterback of the football team instead of the math geek?” He shrugged. “Maybe, but the quarterback is a mechanic down at Macey’s garage now. He’s got four kids, a rusted out pick-up truck, a big mortgage, and he’s never left the state. Does that make me better than him? No. But was he better than me back in high school just ‘cause he could toss a football? No.”

  Kristen admired his intestinal fortitude, something she often felt she was sorely lacking. If she spent more time with him, she could learn a lot about letting go of the past. “I don’t know what you want from me.” She could let him take her to bed, wipe her worry away with sweet words and a gentle touch, but that would only leave her feeling emptier than before.

  “I just want a chance.” He reached for her hand. “Have you ever met somebody and felt instant chemistry?”

  She shrugged, unwilling to admit the first time had been the day he stepped into her office.

  “I have, the first time I met you in high school. I know that probably sounds crazy. We were living on different planets back then, but I felt something every time we were in the same room, hell, even when you smiled at me in the hall. I swore that if I ever got a chance to test the waters with you, I’d dive in without asking how deep.”

  She couldn’t remember the last time a man had ever made her feel so important, so cherished. “You’re a good man. I know that, but…” She was afraid to tell him the truth: men like him didn’t stick around. Just like Robert, he was good looking, successful, and a smooth talker who made her believe she was the only woman in the world capable of turning his head. According to her mother, her father had been the same way.

  “But what? What are you afraid of?”

  “I’m afraid of being wrong again. I’m afraid of making another mistake. This time, I don’t know if I could rebound as easily.”

  “It was easy for you to get over Robert? From where I’m sitting, you’re still not over him.”

  She withdrew her hands and folded them in her lap so he couldn’t reach for her again. “What are you talking about? I’m long over him.”

  “I’m not saying you’re still in love with him, but you’re still letting what he did define your future.”

  She knew he wasn’t trying to hurt her, but forcing her to face the truth when she’d much rather bury her head in the sand was gut-wrenching. “Aren’t we all guilty of letting our pasts define us? Are you telling me your past has nothing to do with who you are today? Would you have been so driven to succeed if you didn’t feel you had something to prove to all of the people who made your life miserable in high school?”

  “I don’t have anything to prove to anyone.” He leaned against the soft leather seat as though he didn’t have a care in the world. “I like who I am. My days of trying to impress people are over.”

  She didn’t buy his claim for a minute. If he was so determined to call her out, she would do the same. “Then why did you go to the reunion?”