“You don’t have a problem with that?” Laura asked, her smile suddenly much sadder.

  “Not at all. They’re both like my best friends. It’s a little weird when they get all touchy sometimes, but I don’t care. Nora’s been single for so long. It’s nice to finally see her this happy.”

  Laura nodded absentmindedly. “She studies hospitality too, right?”

  “She’s a senior like me.”

  “That’s good to hear.”

  For a moment, the clinking of forks on dishes took over. I swirled a bite of pancake through the maple syrup, stalling so I wouldn’t draw any attention to myself.

  “When does your plane leave?” Laure eventually asked.

  “At four in the afternoon.”

  “Do you need one of us to drive you?”

  “Thank you, but I’ve arranged a shared Uber to pick me up at one,” he lied, peeking at me sideways. “I wish I could’ve stayed another day as well, but it’s already booked.”

  Dany flapped his newspaper, the sound of the paper cutting through the air.

  Sebastian rolled his eyes as they drifted toward his father. “What is it now?”

  “Nothing,” Dany replied from behind his newspaper. “Have fun.”

  Sebastian shook his head and drummed his fingers on the table. After a second, he got up, his chair scratching over the floor. “Thanks for breakfast, Mom,” he said. “It was delicious as always.”

  Eight of the ten pancakes on his plate were still left.

  I scooted closer to the table to give him more room. His shirt brushed against my back as he squeezed past me, and something in me wished his touch hadn’t been just because of the cramped space.

  Without looking back, he wandered off into the living room.

  Laura turned her head after him.

  Mila poked at the pancake on her plate and swirled it through the syrup, but she didn’t seem interested in eating.

  Dany hid behind his newspaper.

  I kept my head down. No longer hungry, I still ate the last two pancakes, so at least one of us finished his meal.

  Laura snapped her finger against Dany’s newspaper. “I told you to leave him be, Daniel.”

  “Hey!” Dany said, inspecting the paper as if she had erased the words he was reading. “I’m not the one who disappeared for three years, and then showed up without warning, leaving my bad mood in his wake.”

  “Oh, that’s just great of you to say. You were the one who confronted him right away yesterday, before he could even say hello. Everyone else was happy he was here, everyone but you.”

  “Of course I’m happy that he came.”

  “What a way to show it.” Laura stacked Sebastian’s, Dany’s, and her plates on top of each other, walked back to the counter, and turned on the faucet. She scraped the leftovers into the bin and dropped the plates into the sink.

  “Sorry, Dad,” Mila said. “I love you, but… treating him like this doesn’t help.” She took her plate and joined her mom, grabbing the tea towel hanging over the oven handle.

  Dany grunted and leaned back so far in his seat that the wood creaked, then fixed his eyes on me. They pierced through me, begging for validation. “Alex, you’re unbiased. I’m not wrong about this, am I?”

  “I’m sorry, Dany,” I replied. He might as well have asked me to carry a cow on my back; the weight on my shoulders would’ve felt the same either way. “I really didn’t mean to spend so much time with him and cause all this trouble.”

  “No…” Dany waved me off. “No, you didn’t cause anything. I don’t know why I asked you.” His face tightened before it softened. “I meant what I said. I’m glad you two got along and that you agreed to let him stay in your room. I hope you had a good time yesterday.”

  “I did.”

  “Good. Let’s leave it at that.” His shoulders slumped. He sat there for a second before getting up. “Well, time to go feed the chickens.”

  “Oh, I was just on my way to—” I said, jumping out of my seat.

  “No. I’ll do it today.” He lifted his hand to ward me off. “Actually, why don’t you take the day off?” He slapped his hand on my shoulder, tapped me twice, then shuffled away.

  I stared at my empty plate for a second before grabbing it and walking over to Laura and Mila. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

  “This is the one time of year when enough family members are around that we don’t need you,” Laura said. “So, you should use that time to relax a little.” Mila nodded behind her.

  “Let me know when you need anything.”

  “You know I will,” Laura laughed, pushing her hands back into the soapy water.

  Not knowing what else to do, I headed back upstairs. Before I reached my room, the door opened, and Sebastian poked his head through the gap. His brows furrowed as he stepped aside to let me in.

  “Sorry, I didn’t know where else to go.”

  “My room is your room. Literally,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood, but I couldn’t get a reaction out of him.

  The sun cast a bright rectangle from the window across my bed and the air mattress.

  I shut the door quietly behind me. Sebastian dropped onto the edge of my bed, making the frame squeak. He dragged his hands through his hair.

  “Alex, I’m sorry for what my father said. It was so inconsiderate. You know it’s good that you’re here, right?”

  “I do.”

  “I feel bad that you got pulled into our mess more than you should have.” He stood up and took a step toward me, then stopped, rubbing his left elbow with his right hand. “Is it okay if… ugh.” He shook his head, his frown softening into a tired smile. “I was about to ask if I could hug you, but that would be weird, wouldn’t it?” His fingers brushed over the denim of his jeans. “After we ended on such a good note earlier.”

  Even though his offer was framed as being for my sake, his whole body screamed at me that he was the one in need of a hug. I knew the feeling—wanting someone to hold you after an intense conversation. It felt heavy, as if you would stop breathing if you were all alone with it.

  “I’d love to give you a hug,” I said, stepping forward.

  “It’s okay,” he said, but I still wrapped my arms around him.

  For a second, he stayed still, letting me hold him, before fully turning toward me and hugging me back.

  “Thank you,” Sebastian whispered after a few seconds. “For everything.”

  “I could say the same thing.”

  We leaned back and stared into each other’s eyes, as if a kiss was on both of our minds. But as the seconds went by, it became clear that the hug was all we would get.

  Sebastian pressed his lips together. “Well… I should get going.” He let go of me. “Everyone will be up soon. I should be down there and fulfill my duties, or Dad’ll lose it,” he added with a small chuckle, scratching the back of his head. His feet carried him to the door, but as he put his hand on the knob, he hesitated and turned to me once more. “In case we don’t get to talk alone again… we’ll text later, okay?”

  “Of course.”

  He nodded once, more to himself than to me, and then left me alone.

  I listened to his feet shuffling down the stairs, but lost track of them after a while in the noise of the rest of the family waking up and heading to the kitchen, too.

  I went to my bed and sat down, staring at the carpet.

  If only I knew what to do now.

  The hours flew by.

  Sebastian actually spent the rest of the morning with his relatives. He joked with his grandpa about today’s youth, got into a heated discussion with Mila about a TV show, had a quiet talk with his mom about college, and had plenty of other conversations with the extended family. He and Dany avoided each other, though, until it was time to say goodbye.

  Clouds dragged across the sky, and a strong wind shook the pine trees in front of the house, as only the immediate family followed him outside after lunch. I trailed after them onto the porch, but stayed by the door while they walked down to the driveway together.

  They hugged—even Dany and Sebastian—and exchanged a few last words. Laura shed a few tears, but Sebastian promised to check in more often from now on. A silver Volkswagen rolled up the driveway, but I couldn’t see who was inside with the gray sky reflected in the windows.

  Sebastian glanced at the car, then scanned the area until he caught sight of me. I raised my arm to wave, but he just shook his head and sprinted up the stairs toward me. He stopped a few inches in front of me.

  “I think it would raise more questions if I left without properly saying goodbye,” he said, his voice so low only I could hear it.

  He stepped forward, hesitated for a second, but then pulled me into a hug. My arms hung at my sides, unable to return it. I looked over his shoulder at Mila and his parents, but they pretended to be interested in the mountains and turned away.

  “I promise I’ll text you later,” he whispered. His hands moved up and down my back, filling me with his warmth one last time. “And send me all those files so I can make some proper recordings for you, okay?”

  “Of course,” I said, almost believing these weren’t just words to make things easier for both of us.

  He pulled away and hurried back down to the car, climbing inside without looking back.

  We all watched him drive off in silence. Only the rustling of the trees filled the air. There was no chatter, not even birds chirping—almost as if the whole town had gone quiet for a minute, trying to cope with his departure.

  I kept myself busy that afternoon, feeding the cows and cleaning up as much as I could while the rest of the family enjoyed the second day of their reunion. After dinner, I excused myself and went to my room. His scent still lingered inside, and I indulged in it for a few minutes.

  He was only a brief escape, one that came and went like a shooting star. But at least, I knew it would inspire me for months to come.

  I sat down at my piano keyboard, put on my headphones, and played the chords to the song we had come up with together. The melody carried me away.

  It was always going to end like this: with me alone in my room. I knew it when we first kissed, when we fucked, and when we cuddled at night. Sure, he promised to text me and record more vocals, but how likely was that? He was with his friends now, people he had known much longer than me, and they would help him forget about me soon enough.

  All I had for sure now was the recording of his voice and a handful of song sketches I had come up with that morning, all inspired by him.

  Before I knew it, it was already nine, and I had transformed our demo into a complete song with drums, bass, strings, and synthesizers. I had reworked the bridge and added a new solo with a temporary synthesiser, which I planned to replace with a custom instrument sampled from his voice. I’ve experimented with that technique before, but I’ve never had a sample as perfect as this one to work with.

  I saved the file and hit play again, letting the new intro wash over me, when my phone lit up. I glanced at it, and when I saw who had texted me, I paused the playback.

  Sebastian

  Guess where I am!

  I think you would’ve liked it here.

  The next message was a photo that wouldn’t show in the preview.

  My fingers trembled as I unlocked my phone. He really had kept his promise to text me. Maybe there was actually a chance he’d keep the second one, too.

  TEN

  THE SONG OF NORA AND RAUL

  SEBASTIAN

  As I closed the door of the rental Volkswagen behind me, I could only see Mila and Mom standing in the driveway, waving. I’d hoped Alex would come downstairs one last time, but maybe it was for the best that he didn’t. Nothing would’ve changed. All I could do now was to keep my promises once I got back to Las Vegas.

  I settled into the backseat next to three backpacks and a guitar case that certainly hadn’t been there when we arrived at the airport. Raul ran his fingers over his goatee before shifting the gear into drive. Instead of returning his right hand to the wheel, he moved it onto Nora’s knee in the passenger seat, caressing it gently. The car rattled as we slowly rolled down the gravel road.

  “What’s with the new luggage?” I asked.

  “You won’t believe what we found in that antique store,” Nora replied. Her red hair band brushed against the headrest as she turned around and beamed at me. “It’s an original Gibson. Standard model from freaking 1958. They had no idea what it was. The woman running the place told me it had been sitting in a corner for years. Best four hundred dollars I’ve spent in my life.”

  “Are you shitting me?” In good condition, the guitar would be worth ten times what she paid for it. “What store?”

  “I don’t know. It was the little shop next to the road, the one…” She twisted her head and looked out over the valley, trying to find the right direction to point—only to shake her head after a few seconds. “Somewhere around here. Everything looks the same, so it’s hard to tell.”

  “It does, doesn’t it?” The whole area was just mountains and trees, so it was easy for someone unfamiliar with it to get lost. Back when the hotel was still open, local volunteers hiked through the mountains every day to help lost visitors. I went once with my dad when I was eleven or twelve. That day, I wandered off, completely confident in my navigation skills, and got hopelessly lost. It took me three hours to find a road, and then another thirty minutes before someone noticed me walking along it and gave me a ride home. Dad didn’t let me out of his sight for years after that.

  “Not that Seastone is ugly or anything,” Nora added.

  There was a time when I loved the view of the mountains and the trees. When I was still a kid, I stared at them from my room every morning for a few minutes, enjoying the peaceful bliss of easier times. But since those were the only things I saw every day, I began to wonder what else was out there. Moving away was a hard step, one I felt I had to fight for with every ounce of will I had—which makes sense to me now, since there were literal mountains to cross.

  Now, every time I come here, it feels like I’m taking a step back. It’s as if this place tries to lure me back in and persuade me that it’s nice and cozy and that nothing that happens outside matters. But that’s not what real life is like. Everything matters. There are so many more places to see and things to do out there that Seastone could never offer.

  “How was it, guapo?” Raul asked, using that word again that he only used for me when he thought I needed some soothing. Guapo. Handsome. He calls Nora the same thing every other sentence. He started saying it to me after I cried about never finding someone to flirt with me the way he did with her. “Did they spare you the trauma?”

  His question brought the weight back onto my shoulders. I had opened up to the two of them before we came here, which had led to our decision to come together.

  “No, they did not,” I said. But I didn’t regret coming here.

  Now that it was over, things were different. I got to see another side of my Dad—the fun one he shows everyone but me—which made me at least question whether there was more to him than I had thought. I wasn’t mad at my sister anymore for all her sarcastic comments over the years. Seeing my mom’s sadness made me swear to call her more often. And I met someone I already missed more than was probably good for me.

  “Vale, it’s over now,” Raul added, stepping on the gas as he merged onto the highway. “So off to Ashbourne we go.”

  “Fuck yeah!” Nora howled, beating her hands against the dashboard. “I’ve got quite the evening planned for us.”

  We sped past a faded sign with a painted image of a deer family standing in front of pine trees and mountains. Above it, in bold letters, was written:

  See you soon in Seastone!

  Those words lingered with me for a while, because when I came here yesterday, I was sure this would be my last visit for a long time. Now, thanks to Alex, I wasn’t so sure about that anymore.

  The moment I saw the flashing neon light in the shape of a microphone above the door, I tightened my grip on the straps of my backpack, ready to throw it at Nora. She had played me. Hard. And I wasn’t allowed to complain. I looked daggers at her while she hid half her body behind Raul, grinning smugly.

  “Don’t look at me like that. It was your idea to divide the planning between all of us.” Her head tilted between the entrance and me. “Besides, this is one of the highest-rated places in this town.”

  “I haven’t even said anything. Yet.”

  Raul’s eyes darted between her and me. “Can someone fill me in?”

  “She!” I raised my voice and pointed at her, which caused her to giggle and hide behind Raul. “She always tries to convince me to sing in front of her.”

  “Why?” Raul looked over his shoulder, making her duck down further.

  “Because she once eavesdropped on me when I thought I was home alone,” I explained. “And ever since then, she keeps bugging me about it.”

  Her plan was actually genius. In a karaoke bar, you had to present your voice to the world. It didn’t matter if you were good or bad; you had to shake off all your social inhibitions and let loose, if you didn’t want to be a spoilsport—and Nora knew I’d do whatever it took to avoid that label. But she hadn’t seen what I was capable of yet. Maybe I’ll choose a screamo song or one of those irritating nursery rhymes.

  Nora slid past us and hurried into the foyer toward the hostess, clearly anticipating that I wasn’t going to make a scene in front of a stranger.

  Raul grabbed the door before it closed and motioned for me to go in first. “Friends can be weird, no?”

  As I walked past him, Raul threw his arm around my shoulder. Even after knowing each other for six months, I still wasn’t used to it. He did it on the first night we met at a club when I was out with Nora, and I misinterpreted it badly. It wasn’t until the next morning that I found out why he didn’t return any of my advances—when he walked out of Nora’s room wearing only his boxer shorts. Ever since then, he had been a regular guest at our place, which I liked. Because first, he wasn’t shy about walking around in his underwear, even though he knew I was gay, and second—which was my actual reason—Nora had been smiling a lot more since he came into her life.