“So,” Jason said, “Alex told me you two make music together. And that you sing?”

  Wait. No invitation to work here? What was going on?

  “Uh, yeah.” I looked at Alex, as if he might know the answer to the question preoccupying me.

  He ran his thumb over my knee. “I hope it was okay to mention that?”

  “Of course,” I replied, still unable to process the fact that I hadn’t been invited to work for them.

  Then, luckily, the alarm bells in my head went off. This moment wasn’t even about that. Jason had already changed the topic to Alex and me making music together, which made it a perfect opportunity to show off my boyfriend skills.

  “Did you also tell him that we’ve already recorded demos for almost an entire album?” I asked.

  “Wow,” Jason said. “You two have been busy.”

  I put on a smile. “Yeah. It’s hard for me not to want to spend all my time with Alex.”

  Our conversation was interrupted by laughter from the changing room. Nicholas returned wearing only his swimming trunks now, not shy about showing off his chest hair. Right behind him was Jack, sporting a very tight yellow Speedo that made the impressive chest muscles—which he had hidden well under his yellow jacket the last two times I saw him—look even bigger.

  “Hey guys, sorry, we’re late,” Jack called out to us. He waited at the door, glanced back into the changing room, and said something quietly that I couldn’t hear.

  Then the last guy I was supposed to meet today came in. He was a little shorter than Jack and not as muscular. His soft face lit up with a bright smile when he saw us. He wore the same kind of Speedo as Jack, only in blue.

  As they made their way over to us, they greeted everyone at once, their voices growing louder by the second. Every word echoed four times through the room, thanks to the tiles. The three of them climbed into the hot tub with the three of us.

  “Hey, I’m Noah,” the blue-Speedo guy told me as he climbed into the seat next to me. “You must be Sebastian.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I replied.

  “This is fantastic,” Jack said as he settled into the pool next to Noah. His yellow Speedo sparkled even underwater. “It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve been in a hot tub.”

  “Over two years,” Noah added, his eyes wandering to the mountains. “I really thought you were crazy when you told us you’d get rid of the dining room, but this makes so much sense.”

  “Yeah, it was the most difficult decision, but it was the right one,” Jason said, adjusting his eye patch.

  “And the view from our temporary apartment is just as beautiful, isn’t it?” Nicholas grinned at him.

  While I was intrigued by the new gay scene in Seastone, my gaze was inevitably drawn to Alex. He withdrew his hand from my knee, making me wonder if being this close in front of everyone might have been too much too soon for him.

  The next fifteen minutes were filled with small talk about the hotel, how everybody’s day had been, and how nice it was that we had all come together. I tried to engage as if I had known all of them for a long time. Alex didn’t say much, but he laughed when everyone else did. He was just as quiet as when I first met him, and no one seemed to mind.

  “Have you ever noticed that the four of you share the same initials?” I asked. “Jack and Noah, Jason and Nicholas. It’s J and N everywhere. Doesn’t that ever get confusing?”

  “It makes switching partners easier,” Nicholas said, chuckling.

  Jason clicked his tongue and slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t give them the wrong impression.”

  All four of them looked at each other and their respective partners as if Nicholas’s joke had opened a can of worms.

  “Oh man, that would be such a mess,” Jack laughed as he raised his arm and slung it around Noah’s shoulder. “Not going to happen. I’m happy to share anything, but not him. Sorry.”

  “You can have Nicholas, but he doesn’t come cheap, and he’s already married,” Jason joked.

  Judging by Nicholas’s chuckles, he seemed to enjoy their weird sense of humor. As if it were contagious, all four of them started laughing as if this were the funniest situation ever.

  Alex, on the other hand, tapped me on the shoulder. “I need a short break,” he whispered in my ear. He drew everyone’s attention as he got up, water dripping off him. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be back in a second.”

  At first, he walked toward the lounge chair on the right, but then he made a beeline for the changing room.

  Something was off.

  “I’ll…” I pointed toward him, but the others just smiled at me.

  “Take your time. There are plenty of rooms if you need one,” Nicholas said, earning himself another slap on the shoulder from Jason.

  I followed Alex into the changing room and found him sitting on the wooden bench between the lockers. His head hung between his knees, and he held his ears shut. He didn’t even notice me when I walked in.

  Hopefully, I hadn’t said or done anything wrong.

  SEVENTEEN

  THE SONG OF A HEADACHE

  ALEX

  During times like these, I hated my ears. Whenever I thought they were giving me a break or that I had gotten used to something, everything would only grow worse. I truly believed that with Sebastian here—him being the bubbly person he is—nothing could go wrong. I thought his voice would carry me through this. That the hot tub would work like white noise. That it wouldn’t be so bad this time. But no. Sebastian’s voice still offered some relief, but every second he was silent, the weight of it all crashed down on me so hard that every muscle in my body cramped up. Now, my head buzzed, my neck was stiff, and I got dizzy just thinking about opening my eyes.

  I sat there slumped over on that bench in the changing room, resting my head on my knees. The wooden slats beneath me offered support, but not warmth. The water dripping from the tips of my hair down my legs cooled me so quickly that I wished I had grabbed a towel on my way there.

  Seconds went by, maybe minutes. I couldn’t tell. I only knew that time had passed when the door to the changing room slammed, making my throbbing headache worse. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t lift my head to see who had followed me.

  Footsteps approached. Usually, I would have been able to tell who they belonged to. Everyone has a slightly different rhythm, and in any other situation, I could have told them apart. But this time, each step drilled into my brain as if it were trying to split my skull in two. The bench creaked as whoever it was sat down next to me.

  “I’m sorry if I said something wrong or embarrassed you.”

  The words—Sebastian’s words—instantly lifted some of the weight, despite the slight tremble in his voice. He swallowed and shifted in his seat, his bathing suit squeaking against the wood.

  “It’s just a headache,” I said.

  “You get them often, don’t you?”

  “Mostly around people.”

  “I hate people, too,” he chuckled for a second before it died down. “But that’s not it, is it?”

  I shook my head, causing more droplets to fall from my hair onto my arms and legs.

  We sat there for who knows how long, the steady wash of his breath soothing the buzzing. At first, his exhales were short and heavy, almost like the bubbles in the hot tub. But the longer we sat there, the calmer they became, like ocean waves.

  “I thought I’d be better at this whole boyfriend thing, but I don’t know what to do at all,” he whispered. “Would you like a hug? Or would you rather be alone?”

  “A hug sounds good,” I said, still unable to lift my head.

  He leaned over my hunched body, his chest pressing against my back. His skin was partly warm and partly cool, like a patchwork quilt. The moment he settled against me, the steady beat of his heart replaced the rhythm of his breathing in my ears.

  “I think it’ll take a couple more minutes,” I said.

  “That’s fine.” He cradled my legs with his left arm and slung his right arm around my waist. “I like being with you.”

  No one had ever been with me at a time like this before, and I couldn’t deny that I liked having him here.

  “I’m extremely sensitive to noise,” I said. “It’s a gift that turns into a curse every once in a while.”

  Sebastian sat up, keeping his hands where they were to maintain our connection. “So, you don’t just get headaches from my family’s loud voices?” He skimmed his fingers over my back.

  Despite wanting to sit up too, I stayed down as his touch tingled pleasantly. “It’s not just your family, no. It’s a lot more complicated than that.”

  His right index finger traced little pirouettes on my skin. “I’m here to listen, if you want to talk about it.”

  “I can hear everything, even from far away,” I said, focusing on my surroundings. “Right now, I can still hear the water bubbling. I can hear Jack holding his breath and going under. I can hear Noah squeaking, probably because Jack’s teasing him.” I hugged my legs in. “Is that crazy?”

  “I believe you if that’s what you’re asking. You noticed things in the tracks we recorded that I wouldn’t have caught in a million years. Sometimes, you reacted to noises in the house long before I heard them. I wondered about that, but I didn’t realize it was such a problem.”

  “When I’m out of the house, or at gatherings, or anywhere with a lot of people around, it can be overwhelming. I’ve found that listening to music helps me drown out the noise. With music, I can somehow concentrate in a way I can’t with anything else I’ve tried. That’s why I bring my headphones everywhere. I love in-ears because I can hide them behind my hair when it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear them. But I don’t want to put them in when I’m with friends, because then I can’t hear what people are saying. And I definitely can’t wear them in a hot tub.”

  “What about earplugs?”

  “I tried that, but it doesn’t have the same effect. They muffle sounds, sure, but I still get headaches. Only music distracts me enough.”

  “I’m sorry. If I’d known, I would’ve kept my voice down more.”

  “No,” I blurted out. “Not… you.” I sat up and forced my eyelids open to look at him. The light hurt a little at first, but my eyes quickly adjusted.

  His hair was damp. His eyes narrowed. “Not me?”

  “Your voice is… soothing.” I forced my gaze to the floor. “I don’t know why, but it’s like a remedy. When you speak or hum, everything else fades away. Even more than with music.”

  He fell silent, blinking. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. It probably sounded creepier than I meant it to.

  “If that’s the case,” he finally said after a few seconds, “then I have an idea.” He jumped up, stomped over to the locker, and rummaged through his clothes. The fabric rustled. The muscles in his back shifted as he waggled his head left and right. The song of my boyfriend searching for something.

  “Yes!” he cheered a moment later. “Thank God I’m such a slob.” He spun around, smiling, and stomped back toward me, holding out a pair of yellow earplugs wrapped in foil. A small logo with a microphone glistened on the wrapper. “I got them at that karaoke bar in Ashbourne.”

  “The one you went to with Nora and Raul?”

  “The very same one.” He ripped open the plastic and squeezed the earplugs. “Can I?”

  “Okay,” I said, knowing they wouldn’t do much. Still, his attempt to help warmed my heart enough to let him try.

  Standing in front of me, he brushed my hair aside and put the left earplug in first. He held it until the foam expanded, and then put the right one in.

  “Can you still hear me?”

  His voice was muffled, like the spa’s high-pitched sounds, but I could still hear everything.

  “Loud and clear.”

  “Okay, how about this?”

  He closed his mouth and stared at me. Nothing happened for five seconds, but then a familiar melody reached my ears. He was humming the song we had worked on earlier—quieter than when he was speaking, but still loud enough for me to hear. I focused on it, and, as if by magic, the background noise disappeared. No more pain. No headache. Only his voice remained in my mind.

  He held the last note of the chorus. When he stopped, the silence lingered in my head longer than usual.

  “Does it work?” he asked.

  “It does!” It was the same principle as with my headphones, except he would be my music. No one would even notice anything different because he hummed all the time anyway.

  “Really?” A smile spread across his face. “Because that means we could try it out in there.” He pointed toward the spa.

  “How did you think of this? I couldn’t have come up with a better solution myself.”

  He tipped his right index finger at his temple. “Maybe I’m just smart.”

  I got up, stepped in front of him, and leaned in for a kiss. He had stood by my side and taken care of me, so he deserved one.

  My tongue searched for his the moment our lips touched. Within seconds, our kisses grew hungrier, and the fact that we were already almost naked didn’t make it any easier. Blood rushed to my dick. This guy made me so incredibly horny it was almost unreal.

  I pressed my hips against his, and when my hard cock brushed against his bulge, I realized that he was hard, too.

  “We’re so horny,” I whispered.

  “I can’t help it when you look this sexy.” His mouth wandered to my nipples.

  My hand grabbed his cock through the fabric, but that wasn’t enough. I slipped my fingers behind his waistband and wrapped my palm around his shaft. His chest was soft and cool, while his dick was hard, warm, and pulsing.

  He dropped to his knees, ready to go down on me, but today wasn’t his turn. I shoved my hands under his armpits and pulled him back up, stole another kiss, and then knelt down myself. My hands ran up and down his legs and under his trunks from below, feeling up the mesh fabric and his erection beneath it. He inhaled sharply when I licked his thigh, stifling a moan that would have escaped if my friends hadn’t been so close.

  I pulled his pants down. His dick flopped free and stood straight above me. He lifted his legs to step out of the trunks, and as soon as both feet were planted on the ground, I let my tongue wander down over his balls, down his thighs, then back up his groin to his belly button. I grabbed his hips and pushed into them slightly.

  Understanding where I wanted to go with this, he turned around and presented his ass to me. I playfully bit his thigh, then spread his cheeks wide, and admired his tight pink hole.

  Sebastian braced himself on the bench. I dove in, swirling my tongue around his pucker. I licked down his taint and over the underside of his balls again. My hands searched for his cock, and I stroked it while burying my face as deeply as possible in his crack.

  His breathing increased. Despite the earplugs, I could still hear him stifling his cries. The harder I licked, the less control he had over his voice.

  “Fuck…” he whispered.

  I peeked past his ass and found his eyes closed. He bit his lip.

  “…me.”

  His plea made my dick twitch. There was only one unlocked door between my friends and us, but I was riled up enough not to worry about it.

  “Fuck me, please,” he said again, glancing at the door, as if he could read my mind. “They’re all gay. They won’t care.”

  I strained my ears. It sounded like they were all still in the hot tub. As horny as we were, we’d only need a few minutes anyway.

  So, I freed my dick—the trunks still covering my ass—and pressed it against his hole. Still wet from the hot tub, it slipped in easily. I paused with just my tip inside, giving him a moment to breathe. Even though my friends probably wouldn’t mind, I still didn’t want to make it too obvious what we were doing by forcing one of Sebastian’s moans out too loudly.

  As his hole loosened, I slowly pushed in until I was fully inside him.

  From then on, everything was a blur. I moved in and out of him, letting my dick take over and set the rhythm. All I could hear was the melody of his breaths, his heartbeat, and his stifled moans. Everything else faded away. My breathing grew more and more labored as I filled him the way he liked.

  The sounds of our bodies blended together, forming something even more in sync than the music we had made over the last few days.

  I was pulled out of my trance only when the door slammed into its frame behind us. I stopped moving. Our heads both snapped toward it. Whoever had caught us was already gone.

  “Shit,” I said, more out of reflex than anything else. “Do you think they saw us?”

  “Even if they did, it’s too late now anyway. We might as well finish.” Sebastian chuckled and reached his right arm across, twisting his body to grab my wrist. “This is hilarious.” He pulled his ass away so that my dick slipped out and turned around to kiss me. “Looks like we don’t need to hold back anymore.” He pushed me onto the bench and made me sit down. His cock was now at the perfect height for sucking, but as I leaned forward, he pushed me back onto the slats. He climbed on top of me, aiming his hole at my cock. “Let me take care of that.”

  Holding my dick up, he guided it back inside him. My mouth fell open as he engulfed me again, and he took the chance to bury his tongue deep in my mouth. His back rounded as he moved his hips and kissed me. He moaned louder than before—enough for me to hear, though still not going all out like he did when we were alone. His hips bobbed up and down, eager to bring me to the finish line.

  With each thrust, his dick slapped against my stomach. I wrapped my fingers around his shaft and stroked him.

  Sebastian’s breathing quickened, and his moans grew bolder until, without warning, the warmth of his orgasm spilled all over my stomach. He pulled his tongue out of my mouth but made sure his lips ended up right beside my ear so the quiet moans he couldn’t hold back ended up right where I wanted them.

  This was too much for me. I grasped his hips to keep him in place as I erupted inside him. We slowed down, but he still kept going, drawing out another wave of pleasure with each thrust.