“God, yes. I’m ready now. If you talk to him, be careful not to say anything that’ll give him ideas about us. I don’t want him to know about me. He wouldn’t like it.”

  “The agony of being a persecuted minority. I’ll try to behave, darling.”

  The party pursued its successful course. More substantial food appeared and was. consumed with cries of gluttonous pleasure. Boldoni hadn’t lost his touch. Toni took his model down for a swim and was followed by others including Anne and Edward. Robbie discovered that one of the guests was a well-known painter and conversed with him and his wife for some time. People came and went in groups as Helene conducted tours of the house.

  Robbie was talking to his mother when Toni reappeared wearing his tight pants and loose blouselike shirt. He put a hand on Robbie’s shoulder and offered him his enchanting smile.

  “I’m going to town to pack,” he explained. “Michèle has a car. She’s taking me. I’ll be back by six.”

  Robbie moved closer to him with a hand on his waist to detain him. “I’ve heard people talking about Mrs. Rawls’ party tonight. Are we going?” he asked his mother.

  “Oh, I know her,” Toni said. “She invited me several days ago. Is it tonight? I meant to check.”

  “In that case, we all might as well go,” Helene said. “If we don’t, she’ll just go on inviting us until we do.”

  Robbie absently allowed his hand to become caressing. He caught himself and hastily turned the caress into a little pat and let go. “Okay. I’ll be waiting to help you move in.” He watched the graceful swing of Toni’s body as he left. Helene saw that his eyes were bewitched when he turned back to her and gave her a kiss.

  “He’s fascinating,” she said. “He’s remarkably unspoiled. He’s crazy about you. He says he wants to be your friend.”

  “I have no objection.” He squeezed her hand and hurried away to look for Edward. The coast was clear to launch their affair. Planning to do it in what was practically Toni’s bed didn’t seem quite right but he would need plenty of sex with Edward if he expected to forget about sex with Toni. He found the admiral’s party strewn out along the beach, sitting and lying about as if they were there for the day. Edward sat up lazily and reached for Robbie’s hand and pulled him down beside Anne.

  “How sweet of you to come see us, darling. Have you noticed how well behaved I’ve been? I haven’t clung to you like a limpet. Just being able to look at you from time to time made my cup runneth over.”

  Robbie glanced around to make sure nobody but Anne was within earshot. “I’m thinking about music. Do you want to come see my house?”

  “I long to. Come on, darling,” he added to Anne.

  “But—”

  “She knows what we’re going to do, darling.”

  “Haven’t you grasped what a blessing in disguise I am?” she asked Robbie. “If people think I’m with you, they won’t suspect you of indulging your boyish fancies.”

  “But you will be with us. Then what?”

  “If you have a whole house, there must be a corner where I won’t be in anybody’s way.”

  Robbie realized that it made sense. He could carry it a step further and ask her to pretend to be his girl for official purposes. They all stood and shook sand off and left. Edward paused to admire the statue. Anne was right. They made an innocent trio as they wandered on down the glade toward Robbie’s house.

  “Last night was quite fatal,” Edward said when they reached the cover of the terraced citrus groves. He draped himself lightly around Robbie as they climbed. “If you’d been with me, I might’ve kept my head. Alone, I was at the mercy of my mad desire. I think that’s what makes people fall in love—being deprived of their loved one. I imagine if you’re with someone all the time you might fall in love without even. noticing it. Anne can tell you how I suffered.”

  “He looked quite haggard by bedtime,” she said from ahead of them.

  Robbie kissed the side of his face. They hugged each other and laughed. Robbie couldn’t help wishing that this was Toni, but Edward’s physical elegance had an appeal of its own.

  “Well, this is a little bit of all right,” Anne commented when they entered the living room. “What a lucky child. Is there a bedroom? Of course. And you even have a terrace. That’s where I’ll be.” She effaced herself with sisterly tact.

  They moved in against each other and kissed until Edward drew back with glazed and spellbound eyes. “Oh darling,” he whispered gravely. “I do love you.”

  Robbie’s heart swelled with gratitude. He was old enough to be loved at last. Edward cared about him more than anybody else in the world. He found it rather awesome. He touched his lips with his fingertips and smiled hesitantly and led him to the bedroom and closed the door. Minutes passed in a slow-motion rediscovery of each other before they thought of removing their trunks.

  “Oh darling, don’t let’s come for hours,” Edward said. “It’s too heavenly.”

  The room gave them scope for invention. Edward worshiped his cock with a fervor that he recognized as equal to his own. Nature intervened when they could no longer contain themselves and they lay on the floor in each other’s arms, gazing at each other incredulously.

  “That may not have been entirely civilized but it was utter bliss,” Edward murmured. “Your brown body is magic, darling.”

  “Whatever it is, you make it that way.”

  “What’re we doing down here?”

  “I don’t know. It just happened. It’s lovely and cool.” They burst out laughing.

  Edward sprawled on his back with his arms flung out. “How I wish this were ours. I can’t bear to miss a single minute of life with you. Are you frightened of war? I am. This may be the most perfect moment of my life. I’ve not only had glorious sex with a boy I love with all my heart but I’m also off that blasted boat. That’s paradise enough.” He sat up and tossed his hair back from his forehead. Robbie pulled himself up against his back, kissing it as he cuddled in against it, and held him close. Their mouths met for a long indolent kiss. Robbie could feel how happy he made him. It was amazing being loved. Just by being here he satisfied all Edward’s deepest desires. Life’s mysteries were being slowly revealed to him. “Dear Lord, just feel you,” Edward said when their mouths parted. He ran his hands over Robbie’s dark chest and shoulders. “You are a man. I’m sure there’s some mistake about our ages. You must be older than I am. My lord and master.”

  “I hope I fall in love with you. I don’t know what it’s like yet. I can’t be really grown up until I do. Something’s happening to me. There seems to be more of me for feeling things. Your saying you’re in love with me makes me feel an awful lot for you.”

  “I’ll say it constantly, darling. I am in love with you. You have a lovely way of letting me know you want me. It’s about to get hard again. You’re divinely insatiable but shouldn’t we go? The parents will be wanting to leave.” They picked themselves up off the floor and moved in against each other and kissed again standing up while Edward’s hand encouraged Robbie’s nascent erection. “Have you been invited to a party by that dreadful Rawls woman?” Edward asked with his lips moving against Robbie’s.

  “Yes. We’re going. Toni too.”

  “Then the evening won’t be a total loss. Do you think we’ll be able to let go of each other, darling?”

  “I suppose we should.”

  Anne’s voice called from the other side of the door, “We ought to go soon, darlings.”

  “Come in,” Edward called back, smiling into Robbie’s eyes.

  “Wait,” Robbie cried. He broke away and looked around frantically for his trunks. Edward moved in against him once more.

  “It’s all right, darling. Hide against me. I’m so happy that I want to share it with her.”

  Anne entered. “There you are,” she said as if she’d just run into them on the street. “Are you having a lovely time?”

  “We were,” Edward said. “We’re just trying to disentangle ourselves from each other.”

  “You don’t look as if you’re having much success. Why aren’t you in bed?”

  “We don’t need anything so commonplace as a bed.” Edward’s erection was lifting against Robbie’s. Their hands began to move secretly on each other.

  “Well, then. Come along,” she said sensibly.

  Robbie liked her even under these trying circumstances. He realized that Toni gave him an excuse to make a point about reticence without sounding childishly concerned about his parents. “Now that Toni’s here, you’re not going to tell everybody I’m a poof, are you?” he asked. “He doesn’t approve.”

  “I was afraid of that, darling.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t say it about Edward, either.”

  “You do rather overdo it, darling,” Edward agreed.

  “Everybody knows and it happens to be one of the most interesting things about you, but if you want people to think you’re as dreary as everybody else I won’t say another word. If you’re not making love, why go on standing there? The parents will be waiting.”

  “Actually, we’re making mad love even if you can’t see it. We’ll be with you in five minutes. There, be a lamb and close the door after you.”

  Robbie remained dutifully with his parents until the last guests had departed. He left them discussing the party to return to his house to wait for Toni. Relaxed and sexually satisfied, he was more confident of being able to deal with the miracle of having his adopted brother as a roommate. He couldn’t be in love with Edward if Toni filled his mind with impossible dreams, but he had a lover to count on for a regular sex life. Their desire was so simple to satisfy that it could happen almost anywhere, at any time, even at parties. Anne would be there to cover up for them. Tomorrow he would go to work.

  He unpacked paints and brushes and laid them out on the worktable. He had half a dozen virgin canvases, sized and ready to go. He clamped one on the easel. He had been evolving some advanced and intricate techniques under the guidance of M. Monneret, the art teacher at school, and he was eager to find out what his eyes had learned in the last two months. His thoughts lingered briefly on his teacher. Maurice? Possibly. He understood things now that had meant nothing to him last winter. Actually, Maurice was rather like a grown-up Edward. He smiled to himself as he peeled off his trunks and went to the bathroom to shower.

  He was wearing a dressing gown when there was a flurry outside the door and Toni and Felix appeared carrying bags. He saw only Toni. Toni’s smile overturned whatever equilibrium he had achieved with Edward. “Here I am,” the dancer said, making a little gesture around the room.

  “Wonderful. I hope there’s room for all your things.”

  “You know. Actors. We’re peacocks. It isn’t as bad as it looks. We don’t have to open that bag. It’s city clothes. Only this one’s for here. It’s hot.” He pulled his shirt off over his head and advanced to Robbie and put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not sorry you let me come?”

  Robbie took a deep tremulous breath and hoped for the pounding of his heart to subside. He was here, no fantasy figure but a slightly sweaty, flesh-and-blood young athlete who was going to live with him. “Of course I’m not sorry. I’ve been waiting to help you unpack.”

  “Thanks. Shall we take everything to the bedroom and sort it out there?”

  “I’ve got this one.” Robbie grabbed a bag, eager to get him moved in so that he could begin to take his presence for granted; he had to stop trembling whenever he approached. They spread clothes out on the bed and Robbie took charge of putting them away. Toni watched him admiringly. He seemed so competent and well organized for a kid his age. It was at odds with the other side he sensed in him, the dark intensity that impressed, even awed him. There was a fire in him that he supposed might be artistic temperament. He sometimes worried that it was something he lacked. He still felt very much like the ordinary normal country boy he had started out being. Michèle had made him forget that he’d wanted to kiss Robbie’s mouth but he still felt curiously possessive and protective of him.

  “Isn’t Michèle a knockout?” he asked as Robbie cleared the last things off the bed. “I think I’m going to get her.”

  “I’ll bet you get everybody you want.” Robbie kept his head in the closet and wondered if it sounded as if he were offering himself.

  “I’ve been doing pretty well recently. What about you? Have you had lots of girls?”

  Robbie hoped that Toni wouldn’t be as tiresome about girls as Rico. He shifted clothes around in the closet and shrugged. “Not really.” He thought of Anne and experimented with the truth. “I’ve been naked with one or two.”

  “And they wouldn’t let you go very far? I know. Nice girls your age are pretty careful. If it weren’t for older women, I don’t know what we’d do for sex. You mean you’re a virgin?”

  “Does having your cock sucked count?”

  Toni laughed. “Sure. You’re only slightly a virgin.”

  Robbie felt that he’d skirted the subject neatly. He closed the closet door. “I’ve got to come see your act,” he said.

  “Oh no. Definitely not. Not that dance. I’d feel foolish.” He went to Robbie and held him by the lapels of his dressing gown. “I don’t want you to go to a place like that.”

  Robbie was increasingly aware of how free Toni was with physical intimacies. He wondered how long he’d be able to ignore them. Standing so close together was almost like an embrace. “The Tour Engloutie? What’s wrong with it?” he asked into his eyes.

  “Haven’t you heard? The pédés are making it their headquarters. If you don’t know, so much the better. You’re just at the age when somebody might try to take advantage of you.”

  Robbie wished sex were a forbidden subject as it had been when he was growing up. He was afraid of saying something damning at any minute. “Has it got something to do with age?”

  “Well, to do with being defenseless and inexperienced. You’re so open with people. You are with me. If I was inclined that way, I might get the wrong impression.”

  Robbie was very aware of the hands on his chest. Was it possible for Toni to want him without knowing it? “I want to make any impression you want me to make,” he said with cautious ambiguity.

  “You have. You know that.” Toni dropped his hands and kicked off his espadrilles. “I know you’re all right but you’ve got the kind of looks that drives them crazy.”

  “It seems you do, too. I’ve got to see you perform,” Robbie insisted.

  “Not there. Promise. I don’t want to be responsible for your going to places like that.” His tight trousers and brief triangular undershorts joined the espadrilles on the floor. He stood devastatingly, unself-consciously naked in front of his young friend. “You must tell me what to do about laundry. I need a shower. Come on and talk to me.” He put a hand on his shoulder and headed for the bathroom.

  Robbie struggled to keep his eyes on his face but a random uncontrollable glance told him that his cock remained irreproachably inert. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his dressing gown to make sure that his at least remained out of sight. He was going to have to get used to staying more or less erect all summer.

  As the small house party gathered on the terrace for Mrs. Rawls’ party, Robbie told his parents about Toni’s prohibition. He wasn’t sure they knew what homosexuality was but he knew they’d approve of Toni’s strict views about the places he frequented. “I wanted to go see Toni tonight,” he said, “but he doesn’t think I should go there.”

  Stuart looked at his young guest with grateful respect. “Good for you. I’m not much at putting my foot down but it struck me as no place for kids. Not because of your performance. Because of the crowd.”

  “You should see some of the places in Hollywood,” Pat said. “They’re taking over the world.”

  “Along with Hitler?” Stuart suggested. “I’ve heard some funny things about him.”

  “If only they were true,” Hilliard said. “We could make it cream puffs at ten paces and finish him off.”

  It was a subject that clearly embarrassed them all and it was quickly dropped. Robbie was cast into outer darkness.

  He had a consoling ten minutes with Edward behind some shrubbery at Mrs. Rawls’ rented villa. The party was much like the Coslings’ lunch, only bigger. Toni devoted himself to Michèle and a group of film people. As soon as he left for his performance, Robbie was ready to go and was glad when his elders took him home. He immediately withdrew to his house wondering how late Toni would be.

  He got ready for bed but when he lay down, thoughts of Toni proved too potent to make him an acceptable bedmate. What if Toni discovered him with an erection? He wore no pajamas during the summer and he hadn’t seen any among Toni’s things. Going to bed naked together suddenly became an insuperable problem. Why hadn’t he thought of this sooner?

  He rose and put on his dressing gown and went out to the living room and stretched out on the sofa with a book. If Toni came in soon he would stay here until his friend was asleep. He read for half an hour, his heart thudding anxiously whenever he thought of Toni. What was he doing? His performance was over by now. Would he really come home or would he go off with that girl? There was a great craving emptiness somewhere in him when he thought of the couple together. He had to come home. All his things were here. The book slipped from his hands and he slept.

  He was awakened by a voice and laughter and hands moving on him. He smiled and his eyes fluttered open. Toni was perched on the sofa beside him with nothing on. Robbie’s dressing gown had fallen open, leaving all the front of him exposed. As Robbie’s eyes focused, Toni gave his erection a tug and laughed.

  “It’s a big one, little brother. Are you dreaming of your lady love?”

  Robbie struggled up and tried to twist away from him but he was too late. “Oh Toni. No,” he cried and fell back and was gripped by orgasm. His ejaculation spattered his forehead and cheeks and chest. He covered his flaming face with his hands and uttered a groan of shame.