“At your service.” Toni chuckled and Robbie felt him rise. “You were having a wet dream. You better go wipe yourself off and come to bed.” Robbie parted his hands slightly and looked at him. He was standing over him casually, looking down at him, his cock still virtuously quiescent. Robbie hadn’t damned himself in his eyes; it had been a natural phenomenon. He scrambled to his feet, holding himself so as not to drip, and hurried to the bathroom.

  He awoke the next morning feeling more deeply contented than he had known it was possible to be. He lay for long minutes without moving and gazed at the naked sleeping figure beside him. Toni was on his side, his back turned, the sheet around his waist. By moving his foot cautiously, Robbie was able to pull it down farther so that he could see his buttocks. He was entranced by the agile grace and power of the peacefully unconscious body. He registered every detail with growing love and desire—the endearing disarray of the curls on the pillow, the strong slender neck, the smooth tanned skin, the muscles of his back and shoulders, the ridges of his spine and the small hollow at the base of it where he longed to put his mouth. This extraordinary creature who radiated glamour even in his sleep had seen him with a hard-on, had held it and thought that a dream had given him an orgasm. Toni was incapable of suspecting him of illicit desires. Toni had the power to make him what he wanted him to be.

  When he’d soaked up all the contentment he could absorb, he slipped soundlessly out of bed and grabbed a pair of shorts from the closet and went to the bathroom to start the day. A thermos of coffee and hot milk had been left for them in the kitchenette and he drank some while he opened tubes of paint and studied color balances. He was moving away from the figurative and he had learned that this new approach required much more concentrated and rigorous control of form than anything he had done before. He could become so engrossed that he lost all sense of time. He put one of his Greek sketches on the table in front of him and laid an undercoat on the canvas in blocks of strong color and waited with bated breath to see what was going to happen. Something always did, usually more or less what he expected but there were often surprises. It was the ability to deal with them that made art. He knew that he was finally launched on original work.

  He had no idea how long he’d been at it when he became aware of the bedroom door opening. He glanced up. Toni was poised invitingly naked in the doorway, one hand on the jamb, the other on his hip. His erection seemed to stretch halfway across the room. Robbie fumbled with his brush and dropped it. When his eyes were once more capable of accurate observation, he saw that it was about the same size as his own.

  Toni laughed. “I’m like you last night. My brothers and I used to be like this all the time. There’s something sort of ridiculous-looking about a guy with a hard-on but it feels good.”

  “You’ve got a big one, too,” Robbie said through lips that felt parched. If he repeated things that Toni had said he couldn’t get into too much trouble.

  “Like yours. I told you we’re built alike. Mine’s bigger than my five real brothers. They used to make me show it off every morning to see if it had grown. My debut as a performer.” He laughed again and glided into the room with an eccentric dance step and disappeared into the kitchenette. “Did you say I’d find breakfast in here?” he called back.

  “Yes, in the blue thermos. There’s fresh bread, too, and butter in the fridge if you want it.” Passing on this prosaic information helped Robbie get a grip on himself. He retrieved the brush and wiped up spattered paint, thinking of his Greek brothers. They had made him feel like one of them. Toni was his brother. Maybe brothers were permitted special liberties. It was the only explanation of what seemed like Toni’s constant provocations. If they were intended in the way Robbie wished they were, they would have made love by now. The image of the sinuously gliding body and the careless swing of his erection continued to rock his mind. His shorts were too loose to confine developments. His concentration was shattered; his mind was crowded with phallic forms. He put his hands in his pockets and followed Toni to the kitchenette. He was standing in the middle of it drinking his coffee. His cock had dwindled to its usual proportions. He looked at Robbie over the rim of his cup with smiling eyes.

  “I’m staying out of your way,” he said. “I’ll pull myself together in the bathroom and then go for a swim. Was I all right in bed? I didn’t kick you or pull the sheet off or anything?”

  “Not that I know of. I slept.”

  “Me, too. It’s almost noon.”

  “Really? I was up at nine.”

  Toni set down his cup and moved to Robbie and put an arm around his bare shoulders and walked him into the living room. “Can I see what you’ve been doing or don’t you like people to look?”

  “I don’t mind, but you won’t be able to make head or tail of it yet.”

  “Then I’ll wait. But hurry up and do something you can show me. I’m dying to see your work. I’ll bet it’s exciting.”

  “I’ll bet yours is, too.”

  “Oh that.” His laughter was charmingly self-deprecating. “You saw what they’d really like to see at the Tour Engloutie. That’s all it amounts to, really. I just prance around while everybody wishes I’d take everything off.” He turned Robbie to face him and put his hands on his shoulders and looked him over. “With a body like yours, you could do as well. I had a good look at you before I woke you up last night.”

  Since looking was permitted, Robbie took a long look at the soft plump curve of the cock that was almost touching him. It bore no resemblance to the taut soaring shaft that had been thrust toward him only minutes ago. Not a quiver disturbed its inertia. His pockets enabled Robbie’s hand to retain firm control of his own. He lifted his eyes and looked into the untroubled purity of Toni’s face. “I’m amazed you let me see you with a hard-on. I was pretty embarrassed last night.”

  “Don’t be silly. Brothers don’t pay any attention to those things. All guys are hard when they wake up.”

  “I’m like that quite often. I don’t know why.” He hoped that would explain anything that might happen in the future.

  Toni smiled and gave his chin a pat. “You’ll get a girl soon. She’ll take care of it.” He turned him around to face his easel and gave him a little push. “Go back to work. I’ll go wash up.” Toni smiled to himself as he went to the bathroom. He hoped he hadn’t shocked the kid. Showing off his erection wasn’t his speciality but he felt something pent-up and explosive in Robbie that might be released in horseplay. His shame last night over a perfectly ordinary occurrence had verged on hysteria. There was always the danger of a highly emotional boy getting a crush on an older friend. Toni wanted to defuse any stray sexual currents that might be generated between them. Affection guided him; he wished they really were brothers.

  Robbie studied his morning’s work. He’d made a good start but he hadn’t the will to go on with it now. He had to be with Toni. He got himself into the discreet confinement of a pair of swimming trunks and was cleaning his brushes when Toni emerged from the bathroom looking scrubbed, combed, and radiant, also wearing trunks.

  “I’ll go along,” he said, approaching Robbie’s worktable. “Are you coming soon?”

  “I’ll come with you. When I’m just starting something, I don’t like to work too long at a stretch. I get all involved and can’t see what I’m doing.”

  “You’re lucky having something you can do on your own. Nobody can tell you what you’re supposed to do.”

  “That part’s good but it takes so much time. I don’t want it to get in the way of doing things with you.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m here now, little brother. We’ll do lots of things together. I hope you don’t get sick of me.”

  “I probably will in about ten years.” He wiped his hands and tossed the rag aside and dared initiate the contact that Toni seemed to take for granted. He ran a hand over his shoulders and gripped his neck. “Let’s go.” He felt as if his whole being were being jolted into some new alignment. All of life flowed from Toni. Being allowed to touch him and feel him against himself was as necessary as air. He had somehow escaped sex for the moment; he was wholly integrated into the very substance of his friend. The contentment he had felt a little earlier was undercut by a vast dread of losing him.

  They swam. The Hilliard couple joined them, followed by Stuart. Helene drifted down in a slightly old-fashioned bathing costume with a little skirt. They all had drinks from the bar in the beach house. No guests were expected. The party that night was to be at Madame Joffrey’s remodeled house on the old fisherman’s port. Toni said that Michèle might stop by later to pick him up for a swim.

  “If it’s really a swim you want, there’s no need for Michèle to take you anywhere,” Stuart pointed out when he had a moment alone with Toni at the edge of the sea. “There’s even a reasonable amount of privacy down here in the evening. Those things close.” He indicated the louvered shutters that pulled across the wide opening of the beach house sitting room. It was furnished with comfortable outdoor things and a daybed. Dressing rooms for men and women were on either side. “Actually, you’d be quite comfortable down here if you want a house of your own. I keep forgetting it’s here.”

  “I’m fine with Robbie.”

  “Good. You’re getting settled in? Felix is bringing the motorbike out this afternoon. I hope it’s understood that you can ask whoever you like here during the day. In the evening I suppose we better coordinate our activities for the sake of the help, but you’re free to have people for dinner, even if we’re going out. Just let me know.”

  “You think of everything. You’re truly astonishing.”

  Stuart put a hand on his shoulder. “I think we make a very handsome family, if you’ll forgive me for including myself. Stanley and Pat will be gone in a few days and then there’ll just be the four of us for a while. I’m looking forward to that.”

  “Am I included in the party tonight?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t you be?”

  “Madame Joffrey is a very important woman. She wouldn’t ordinarily ask anybody like me. Did you mention me?”

  “Not by name. She asked me how many we’d be and I said we were four and two houseguests.”

  “You are a good guy. I’ll bet she’ll be surprised to see me.”

  “What is this? Does she have something against you?”

  “Not personally as far as I know. Some people don’t invite entertainers in cheap nightclubs to their houses. She’s one of them.”

  “I see. In that case, you’d be doing me a favor if you tell her you’re my son. She’s frightfully impressed by my father. I’d love her to think that his grandson is an entertainer in a cheap nightclub.” They looked at each other and chuckled with mutual understanding.

  “I like you, Stuart. I may yet call you Papa.”

  They had an informal lunch and Robbie returned to work in a blaze of creative dedication. Contentment had once again become a deep singing rapture that he felt all through him, from toes to fingertips. What was happening to him? How could a virtual stranger alter all of life? He tried to remember what he’d been like before Toni had come. He was possessed by smiling green eyes. His life was Toni’s.

  He was immersed in his work when Toni unexpectedly joined him a little later. “Didn’t Michèle come?” he asked, not letting himself abandon his work.

  “No. I’m sort of glad she didn’t. It’s so wonderful feeling I’ve got a home for a change. I’ve got to write and let people know where I am. If I’m not in the way, I just want to sit around your house and enjoy it.”

  “Our house.”

  “Is it? Okay, little brother. Our house.”

  Shocks and tremors passed through Robbie when he glanced up from time to time to see Toni wandering around the place, from the bedroom to the terrace to the bathroom and back, sometimes in a dressing gown, sometimes with a towel around his waist, once with nothing on at all, making himself at home. It was a glorious distraction, adding an extra excitement to his work.

  When he had put his brushes away for the night, they both dressed in white dinner jackets. Robbie had acquired his at school in the spring and it was already getting tight around the shoulders. They admired each other playfully and were in high good humor when they joined the others.

  The party took place on a giant roof garden and revealed a more formal aspect of local social life. The women, few of them in the first bloom of youth, were glitteringly chic and the men had a distinguished air. Stuart recognized several important political figures. There were editors and journalists and a famous member of the Académie Française. Michèle wasn’t there and Robbie stayed close to Toni’s side, where he wished to remain for the rest of his life. When he caught sight of Edward, he reluctantly responded to the appeal of his eyes.

  “I hoped you’d be here,” he said, joining him beside a small tree. He regretted that he was only being polite.

  “I find the atmosphere rather rarefied, don’t you, darling? Shouldn’t we sneak off to the yacht for a little down-to-earth music?”

  “Later, maybe.” He looked into Edward’s nice eyes and saw a glow that he supposed was love in them. He wanted him but knew he couldn’t let anybody but Toni touch him. How could he tell him without hurting him? “Actually, I can’t, darling,” he began with difficulty. “I shouldn’t even call you that. He wouldn’t like it. Something’s happened. Well, nothing really, not like you might think. I don’t suppose it ever will. I think he’d hate me if he knew but I can’t help it. I’ve got to keep myself sort of pure for him. Do you understand?”

  Edward’s eyes grew wistful. “It sounds awfully as if you’ve fallen in love with him, darling.”

  “I suppose I have. I’ve never felt like this about anybody before. I want you. I honestly do, but I just couldn’t. Is that crazy?”

  “It breaks my heart but I understand, darling. If you’re so sure nothing can happen with him, maybe you’ll get over it and want me back. I’ll be waiting.”

  “You’re sweet. I’ve loved it. I won’t make love with anybody else. I promise you that.”

  “My poor virginal darling. I can’t say I envy you. Haven’t I heard something about dinner at your house tomorrow? We’ll still want to see each other, won’t we?”

  “Of course. I never know anything about our social life. I hope you’re right about dinner. Why don’t you and Anne come for the day? I’ve started work again but the sea’s still there.”

  “We’ll see. I have one thing to thank you for, darling. There’s no reason for me to stay at this depressing party any longer. I think I’ll take Anne for a little pub crawl. I won’t promise to be as virginal as you.”

  The flippant note told Robbie that, despite his declarations of love, Edward didn’t need him. Toni certainly never would. Could the craving that had been kindled in him on a changing-room floor ever be satisfied in his love of men?

  He returned to Toni’s side wondering if he’d regret having renounced the safety valve of sex. It wasn’t going to make living with Toni any easier but he’d had no choice. He couldn’t imagine having pleasure in anybody else’s arms. Was it always like this when you were in love? Did it cut you off from everybody else? He hadn’t realized that it was happening until he’d seen Edward. What else was he going to learn about love?

  He learned a great deal in the next few hours. He learned that he didn’t care where he was so long as Toni was there. He didn’t find the party depressing. He ate some superb food. He talked to overpoweringly elegant ladies, always more or less within touching distance of his friend. When it was time for Toni to leave for his performance, he stood beside Robbie and held his arm. His eyes were full of green mischief. “This has been a very interesting evening,” he said. “I’ve met some people who could be helpful. I may be late. You know what I said about older women.”

  Robbie was left smiling into a void. He couldn’t speak. He didn’t know who any of these people were. Edward and Anne were gone. He had to get home. He had to be where Toni belonged. He looked around for his mother and saw her surrounded by men. She caught his eye as he approached and turned to him. “I want to go home,” he said, finding that he had to pronounce the words with great care. “Can I take the car? You’ll be with Mr. Hilliard, won’t you? Can’t you get home with him?”

  “Of course, darling. Are you all right? You haven’t been drinking, have you?”

  “Of course not. Only a few glasses of wine.”

  “I’m not sure the same is true of your father. He has the keys. Tell him I said you could go. I’m afraid this hasn’t been much of a party for you but I can’t tell you how many people have said that you’re the most fascinating young man they’ve ever met.”

  “Thanks. Tell me more in the morning. I feel sort of funny.”

  “We’re all still tired, darling. Drive carefully. We won’t be long.”

  Robbie drove slowly, feeling unreal and bereft. He thought he’d said goodnight to his hostess but wasn’t sure and didn’t much care. What difference did anything make if Toni weren’t with him? He could go through the motions of living but nothing had any meaning. The only reality that directed him was the need to be where Toni would expect to find him.

  As soon as he got to his house, he threw his clothes off and pitched himself down on the bed and pressed himself into the mattress on the side where Toni had slept last night. He buried his face in his pillow and opened his mouth for kisses. He felt his body against his, his arms holding him. Their twin erections thrust up hard against each other. Toni’s was in him, filling and possessing him. He flung himself over onto his back and shouted and sobbed with his orgasm.

  He staggered up and dragged himself to the bathroom and washed and hung his clothes up. If he kept busy, time would pass and Toni would be here. He went through Toni’s clothes, trying things on, fitting his cock snugly into trousers where Toni’s had been and watching it swell. They could wear each other’s clothes. They were brothers. They belonged together. Where was he now?