He’s such a paradox.

  A handsome one, but nonetheless confusing.

  “Crap,” I mutter.

  “Ding, ding! She got it!” Ella exclaims from the espresso machine.

  I grumble under my breath but don’t argue. She’s right. Something about him has always called to me, but now having spent this much time with him outside of his visits to the shop—even though he’s silent—there is no doubt that I’m drawn to him in a way that is all about attraction.

  “Crap,” I repeat.

  Her laughter echoes around the room, floating over the hissing sounds of the steam. I turn, walk around the side of the bar, and head toward my office.

  “Hey,” she calls out, causing me to turn my head. “At least, can you please try a little harder to figure out what’s going on? Make up an excuse to get him upstairs and wait for Riley to be distracted and freaking figure it out, Liv.”

  I take a deep breath and hold it for a beat before letting it go in a slow exhale. I hold her gaze, knowing she’s right, but I just don’t know if I’ll have the guts to do that. But instead of arguing or making an excuse, I just nod.

  One way or the other, I’ll figure out what’s going on.

  I pull the door of the coffee shop closed, trying to shield my frustrations over the situation behind my smile—one that I hope looks a little more convincing than it feels. I see Riley performing a song from Frozen for Drew while twirling and dancing on the sidewalk in front of Olde Mug. Drew’s in his normal position but more alert than relaxed, just as he is every time he has Riley near. She isn’t even the slightest bit distracted by the people moving around her or the passing cars on the street. She’s in her own world, one that is all about making “her giant” smile. I don’t know how she knows, but somehow she knows this man wouldn’t let anything happen to her. I’m sure that’s why she’s more at ease with him than most people, and that’s saying a lot since she’s the most carefree people person I have ever met.

  I try to keep my focus on Riley. However, I’d be lying if I refused to at least admit to myself that my intrigue for the silent beast wasn’t intensifying way past the curiosities and baseline lust I’ve had over time for him.

  The lust, I never understood.

  Sure, he’s beyond good looking, and his stature is just flat-out huge. Not just because he’s super tall, but even his aura puts off this dominating energy that makes him seem even larger than life.

  His silence makes him all the more untouchable and mysterious … and makes me want even more to get under that shell and find out what makes him tick. He’s a curious mix of hard laced with the signs of a past that tells me he hasn’t always been that way. I see it in his eyes, but especially the lines on his face that tell me, at one time, this man laughed and laughed hard.

  Aside from all of that, I’m not quite sure what it is about Drew that makes me feel more toward him than just a coffee shop owner and her customer. My body reacts the second he’s near—it always has—but it’s becoming such a powerful reaction that I almost fall to my knees. Or butt. It’s intensifying the more time we spend together, and when he’s near, I find it harder and harder to hide that immense power behind polite words and great customer service etiquette outside of the coffee shop.

  This need in the pit of my stomach drives me to uncover what’s beneath the surface of this silent man. I want so badly to figure out what pushed him to start being our bodyguard over the past few weeks, but it’s more than that. I need to understand him. I’ve racked my brain for the possibilities that would drive him to escort us to and from home every day. So far, I’ve come up with a whole bunch of nothing that seems even slightly rational or relevant. Since he’s clearly not going to explain it to me, I’ve decided it’s either time to resign myself to the possibility that I may never know, fully accept that it is what it is, or force him to tell me. Something tells me no one forces this man to do anything, though. I’m just not sure I can keep the current course without knowing. I feel like I’m coming out of my skin.

  Daily walks escorted by the silent beast, known as my bean’s giant, will drive me to the nuthouse. I just know it.

  I come out of my musing when I see Riley finish her sidewalk performance, taking a bow in front of Drew. If you weren’t looking for a reaction from him as I was, you’d completely miss the slight tip of his lip. It might not seem like much, but it’s the world to Riley, which makes it the world to me. Their connection is a mystery of a different sort, that’s for sure, but one that I’m very fond of watching them nurture into something that grows stronger each day. It amazes me how much they can communicate between themselves without verbal responses, but their language is certainly their own and would be impossible for anyone to decode or understand. However, it can be felt, that’s for sure. It’s how I know without a doubt that she’s safe with him.

  I learned over the years that my girl has the greatest intuition when it comes to people. She’s like some weird morality detector. She can say hello to someone and instantly know if they’re a good or bad egg. That holds a big part of why I trust him with her, if I’m honest. She became so attached to Drew without a second thought and lacking any doubt. You can practically feel the attachment coming from both of them.

  No matter his reasons for doing all this, he’s given her so much joy over the weeks, I almost don’t even care to find out his motives for that alone.

  Almost.

  “Are you ready to go home now, Livi? The BTS World Tour concert is waiting for me to watch—the new one from San Pablo. You remember, you promised that I could watch it today and we could have pizza for dinner! Right?” Riley finishes and takes a huge gulp of air, practically coming out of her skin. I actually had forgotten that we pre-ordered the San Pablo concert when it was digitally released. She’s already watched their New York and European ones so many times, I know the whole set list of their shows by heart. “It came this morning! I already tracked the package!” She’s bouncing on her tiny little feet with excitement, her adorable hands folded in front of her chest.

  “You tracked it?” I ask, dumbfounded.

  “Of course I did.”

  “Are you sure you’re only five years old?”

  She rolls her beautiful eyes and does something that is so Drew, I almost laugh … her tiny little brow comes up in question instead of asking me again.

  “Well, in that case … since you made sure to keep such a close eye on the delivery, it would be a shame for us not to rush home this very second and get it turned on for you. Clearly, you’re more responsible than I am.” I wink, and she giggles. “What do you say we get home, get some comfy clothes on, and order that pizza so we can get to watching?”

  Riley shrieks with joy, twisting her little body to look at Drew. “Hurry, giant! We’re going to have to walk with bigger steps today. Don’t worry, Auntie can keep up. We’ve got a show to watch! Kay?”

  His eyes appear to be very confused by what she’s talking about, but he doesn’t pause as he scoops her up in the well-practiced way he does, effortlessly placing her on his shoulders and securing her with his big hands in a light grasp on her tiny ankles, keeping her steady.

  “Hey, giant?!” she calls from her perch, poking him in the head like she’s so fond of doing. “You’re going to come in and see it too, right?”

  My heart stops. This is the first time she’s asked him to come inside, but it also stops because this is my chance to get him in my home and question him about what’s going on. I don’t even realize I’m holding my breath until my chest burns, and I let it out slowly so he doesn’t catch on.

  His eyes meet mine and lock. For a split second, I think I see something new. Or maybe it’s something that’s always been there, but I just missed seeing it before now. However, almost as soon as I see that small glimmer, it’s gone before I can decipher what it actually means. He tips his head with a slight nod and then begins to walk hesitantly until our steps are in sync.

  “Yay! Off we go to watch BTS awesomeness, giant! Onward!” Riley screams, pointing down the street. A few people around us smile, but I can’t even react to her adorable behavior because I’m still trapped by his gaze.

  I struggle to even attempt to stay engaged in their one-sided, all Riley bean conversation because all I can think about is that look. It was there and then gone so fast, but … it was different. Not calm, not stormy, but there was still a burning in those depths that didn’t make much sense.

  Almost like … hope?

  After a few minutes of obsessing, I attempt to shake it off and focus on anything else that can take my mind off that little glimmer of hope.

  Riley is explaining, in great detail, the members of BTS. Even going as far as telling him their real names so he “knows” who they really are. She tries the best that her little mind can to explain to him the platform of BTS and what they stand for, in a sense, but I can tell it doesn’t really compute.

  “They are really a big force in encouraging people to love themselves as they are and to speak their truths, without fear and worry of prejudice,” I add, gaining his attention and Riley’s.

  “That’s what I said, Auntie.”

  “Of course it is, bean. Of course it is.”

  She goes off on a tangent about how he needs to make sure to get his own membership into the BTS Army because he can’t have hers, and it came with all sorts of fun stuff that he will like. Oh boy, this kid. The confusion on his face is unmistakable as she keeps going. Educating such a manly man on all things BTS—from a five-year-old’s viewpoint—really might be the most comical thing I’ve ever witnessed. I have to admit, it’s nice to be able to recognize his emotions for once without guessing.

  We continue our walk, and I smile while she continues telling him how V, or Kim Taehyung as she told him it is important to note his real name, is her bias. Another word for k-pop fans to label their favorite person. To my complete horror, she then tells him how her auntie’s favorite is Jimin. My goodness, I thought I hid that better. Instead of looking at Drew to see what his reaction is to that little nugget, I let my mind wander and tune them out.

  Riley’s birthday is just around the corner. In a couple of weeks, my girl will be six, and just like every birthday, I want to make sure she has the best day. This year, I hope to have a few surprises for her. If I can pull them off, that is. You would think she would have a mile-long list of things she wants at her age, but not Riley. She rarely asks for things, and her birthday is no exception. Not that it’s a bad thing to have a child who isn’t always asking for things, but it sure does make gifting on holidays and her birthday quite challenging. It’s the only time I ever wish she was a little obsessed with something—anything—material or some hyped-up toy. She’s never known a life where money was an issue, so I count myself lucky that she didn’t turn into the bratty, entitled child that usually comes from a high-society culture. Those kids grow to thrive off their material possessions and not a single thing else. The children I grew up with only knew how to find joy from what they had, not what they could do. Riley, on the other hand, doesn’t care about things. She cares about time spent with those she loves and being present to enjoy every one of the experiences that will fill her memories for the rest of her days. She thrives on being near others. Their happiness is one of the biggest joy givers in her day. That being said, she can also be extremely sentimental, and when she’s given a gift, she cherishes it to the max. Even cards. Maybe more so because they have messages reminding her how very loved she is.

  I glance at Drew quickly before looking away. All these thoughts about her birthday and what matters to her remind me that I need to find a way to get “her giant” there. We have a tradition of having a little celebration at the Olde Mug with everyone who cares about her. Regulars come to spend the day with her outside of their regular drop-in times and fill the day with lots of laughter. It doesn’t hurt that pizza and cake are free-flowing. Even though she is never without tons of people coming by on her special day, something tells me nothing I could get her would mean more than having her giant attend this year.

  He might say no, but if I’ve learned nothing else, I will never underestimate the power and spell my Riley bean has on her giant.

  It should unnerve me, but instead … it gives me peace.

  “Disappear” by eli.

  Riley runs off the second we clear the threshold of their lavish two-story condo. She couldn’t stop talking about some alphabet letter group who had a concert she just had to watch on the TV. From what I gathered from Olivia’s sigh, this was normal for her to ask for. It was all just a bunch of stuff I couldn’t understand, so I stopped trying and just nodded when Riley expected it from me. Having no clue as to what I agreed to only makes me slightly apprehensive.

  I’m not sure what compelled me to accept Riley’s offer of coming up, but no way did I have the power to say no, not to her … or her aunt, for that matter. I watch Olivia move to the table a few feet from the elevator door and place her purse and keys in the middle. I take a moment to look around the opulent space.

  Plush gray rug over white marble flooring.

  Twin white chairs that look like they cost a mint on either side of the table.

  Artwork lines the bright white walls with lighting in the ceiling placed perfectly to showcase what I’m sure are costly prints.

  It screams expensive.

  I knew she had money. After I realized who she was, I pulled all the shit I could on her. Knowing it and seeing it, though … I damn sure wasn’t picturing this. Beacon Street isn’t an area to sneeze at; she must pay close to fifty grand a month here. Again, knew she was loaded, but seeing it was different from knowing it.

  This was all supposed to be simple.

  Get close to the girl, wait for that slimy shit I’m hunting to make contact, and then move on to the next target after we take him out.

  What it wasn’t supposed to be is whatever this is.

  What I wasn’t supposed to do was grow attached to the beautiful coffee shop owner and her niece.

  That, definitely, wasn’t supposed to happen.

  Not that it’s not allowed to have relationships, but because I can’t imagine how I could ever tell Olivia who I am … who I really am.

  I look down at the top of her head. She avoids looking at me, something she does a lot, but usually, it comes with sideway glances she doesn’t think I see.

  Oh, Olivia Elizabeth Kelley, I fucking see you.

  Every time her gaze is on me in any capacity, I feel it.

  It drives me to the brink of insanity.

  I can’t afford even the littlest distraction, and here I am with the biggest one I could have stumbled on.

  It’s not because it will take me off the hunt. Nothing takes me off the hunt.

  No, I can’t afford this distraction because it makes me want things I can’t have.

  Why can’t you have them?

  Fuck. The “old me” has been a chatty fuck these past two weeks.

  Logically, nothing keeps me from getting this tiny little thing naked and fucking this attraction out of my system. When I became the “new me,” no rules said I had to become a fucking monk. All I have to give someone is secrets and lies, so why bother? Lies of omission and lies big bold and bad. The day I “died,” I knew anything good I had left in me to give someone was a thing of the past.

  Including fucking sexy, petite coffee shop owners.

  It doesn’t stop me from wanting her, though.

  “Why are you doing this, Drew?”

  It’s not the first time she’s asked me. She asked me the whole way to her place every day for the first week. She’s just never asked me with that expression on her face. One that screams unsure and fearful.

  Fuck me. Another punch to my resolve. I want to make sure that look never crosses that angelic face again. Consequences be damned.

  I look toward the staircase that, I assume, leads to the main level of her house and acts as a separator from this entryway.

  “She won’t be back down here for a bit. She’s watching her favorite group, and they suck her attention up, so stop avoiding the question…” She pauses. “Please? I’ve gone over and over it. You clearly have a reason.” She clears her throat as color rises on her cheeks. The burn in my throat makes me want to give her more than anyone outside my team has gotten in over twenty years … me.

  “I know men like you,” she continues, making me pause. “My parents hired men like you. You’re always alert. You make sure to keep Riley close. You even make sure to shield me when we come around alleyways low in foot traffic. Always looking for a threat. Always have your guard up and in place. So yes, I know men like you. What I need to know is why are you protecting my niece and me?”

  Well, fuck.

  “I’m an outstanding citizen. I donate heavily to charities. I make sure I check the pulse of the world I left behind on a regular basis. The upper crust of this world doesn’t care about me, nor do they care I left their fold. I have no enemies, Drew. None. Riley is practically a baby, so I know she doesn’t have any. So what could possibly make you think you need to be here to protect us? I can’t for the life of me figure you out. We’ve managed just fine on our own for three years, you know.”

  She takes a huge gulp of air and drops the hands she had been fidgeting together in front of her to her sides. With one more hefty inhale, she blows the air out slowly, seemingly getting a decent hold over her nerves.

  “Please, Drew.”

  I have to hide the wince. I fucking hate when she calls me Drew.

  “I can deal with a lot,” she continues. “I’ve lived a life that means I can handle it, whatever it is. What I can’t handle is this constant state of unknown. I’m a planner. I need to plan. It calms me. Please … I need to know what has you acting as a shadow whenever we step outside of my home.”

  I open my mouth to answer but close it when I hear Riley’s voice coming from deep in the house, yelling in … no way … “She speaks Korean?”