I bit the inside of one cheek as I studied her. “Fine. I mean —” I began again.

  “Kenan, this is all new territory for us. Don’t blow it by getting pushy about that right now.”

  I felt legitimately chastised, even though I didn’t care if we used condoms forever. I was just trying to find a way to get more information. “Understood. I reserve the right to find out what the hell you’re hiding from me later.”

  Quinn lifted her chin. It felt as if she was daring me.

  I waited. She finally rolled her eyes and set the wand on her desk.

  “My medical information is my business,” she said primly.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Quinn

  Every time I contemplated that conversation with Kenan in my office, I felt uncomfortable. Because I was hiding something. I wanted a baby, and I knew he didn’t. I didn’t have faith that we were going to work out as it was, which made it all the crazier and ridiculous that I’d let things go to the next level with him.

  Yet when I tried to talk myself back out of that, I didn’t want to. It felt good, so very good.

  I wondered if I’d always had a hidden thing for him that I’d buried deep inside. When it finally broke through, it just wouldn’t be denied. I would probably never know that.

  The following afternoon, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up the medication intended to optimize my fertility. I felt like I was engaging in a top-secret mission.

  “I’ve stopped by this pharmacy maybe hundreds of times,” I muttered to myself in my car.

  It was, in fact, where I usually picked up my birth control pills. Aside from it being a pharmacy, it was also a general convenience store. It was open an hour later than the regular grocery store. Many people stopped by here for small things they needed.

  I wouldn’t even be thinking about this if it weren’t for Kenan and him sensing I was keeping something from him. I’d told him my medical information was my business, which was true, but my conscience kept pricking at me.

  I shook away my worries and strolled into that pharmacy with my chin lifted and a confident stride. It was no big deal for me to be here. I walked to the back, where the pharmacy was, and got in line.

  The young woman checking me out gave me a curious look. Or perhaps that was my own paranoia. I assured myself it didn’t matter, even if she was curious.

  As I was walking out, I glanced over and saw Kenan walking down the sidewalk. He appeared to be just coming out of Spill the Beans Café. Fuckity fuck.

  My car was still parked behind Fireweed Industries, which was behind me. I kept walking as if I were going to Spill the Beans Café. I didn’t need him wondering if I stopped by the pharmacy.

  As he approached, my eyes tracked him. He was one of those guys who always looked at ease in his body. I’d never really thought much about Kenan’s appearance, or so I’d convinced myself. My eyes lingered on his shoulders. I knew the way his muscles felt flexing underneath my palms. I forcefully kicked those thoughts to the curb, as heat instantly suffused my entire body.

  He stopped in front of me when we met on the sidewalk. “Hey, Quinn.”

  There was a teasing glint in his eyes, and butterflies tickled my belly. “Hey, Kenan,” I replied as I looked up at him.

  I wanted to kiss him. Right this very second. I didn’t want to hide this. I had to instantly shackle that urge. I was the one who demanded we keep this private. It needed to stay that way because the end was a foregone conclusion.

  “Where are you headed?” he asked.

  I pointed over his shoulder. “Spill the Beans.”

  “You could spill the beans,” he quipped with an exaggerated brow waggle.

  I rolled my eyes. “There are no beans to spill, but I do need some coffee. Is that where you just were?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. I was at the post office. I was going into the café, but I saw you and figured we could go together.”

  “Fine,” I said too sharply.

  He turned, falling into step beside me. “Fine? I think that means you don’t want to have coffee with me.”

  “Of course, I want to have coffee with you. We would normally get coffee together a few times a week,” I pointed out as I glanced sideways at him.

  “True, but I thought we were keeping things on the down low.”

  “We’re keeping PDA on the down low. It’ll be weird if we act like we wouldn’t normally act,” I ground out.

  He nudged me with his elbow. “Very true.”

  Kenan held the door for me when we got to the front of the café. His hand lightly rested on my back as I passed by, coaxing me forward with a subtle touch. I was sure he had touched me that way before, but just now, the touch felt intimate.

  A few minutes later, we had ordered. Haven was having coffee with Rhys at a table in the corner. She waved us over, just as Rosie came in.

  Between my anxiety about my lying by omission with Kenan about my IVF plans and the furtive quality of our sneaking around, I was a bundle of nerves. Rhys and Kenan chatted about something related to work. I busied myself nibbling on a scone and sipping my coffee. At one point, Haven caught my eye. She smiled at me, but I sensed she was distracted.

  Kenan’s palm was still resting on my thigh, and I shifted restlessly. I didn’t think he was paying attention, but he moved his hand back and forth in a soothing caress. My heart twisted in my chest. I already cared way too much about Kenan. If anyone had asked me before this whole thing started with us, I would’ve said I loved him like a friend. He was one of the most important people in my life, the person I thought to call first about anything big or small.

  Now, that sense of love was deepening and tangling within the intimacy and passion I felt with him. I took a quick swallow of coffee. The cheery bell jingled above the door, and I reflexively glanced over to see McKenna coming in. She waved over at us as her gaze arced about the space. Great, just freaking great, one more person.

  With everyone we encountered, I worried about who might catch onto what had changed between Kenan and me. Only moments later, McKenna stood beside our table. It just so happened she stopped beside me. I felt her gaze dip down and land on Kenan’s palm resting on my thigh. Heat flashed into my cheeks, and I refused to look up at her, studying my coffee. I wanted to knock his hand away, but that would only draw more attention.

  “Have you shown them?” McKenna asked Haven.

  “Shown us what?” Kenan prompted.

  Haven grinned as she slipped her phone out of her purse and tapped the screen to open it. She handed her phone to Rhys first.

  “Why does he get to see first?” Kenan teased.

  Rhys glanced over. “Because.”

  McKenna chuckled. “Because they’re in love.” She looked around the café before her eyes came back to mine. “It’s the new design. We’re redoing all the signage for Fireweed Industries, including the winery.”

  “Is that the surprise?” Rhys asked as he looked at Haven.

  She waggled her brows. “Absolutely, but I didn’t want to show you until McKenna and I settled on something. What do you think?”

  “I love it,” Rhys said as he handed her phone back to her.

  “Of course you love it. You’re whipped,” Kenan grumbled from my side.

  “Let me see.” I shifted, deftly knocking Kenan’s palm off my knee with one hand as I reached across the table with the other.

  I glanced at the screen as Haven handed her phone to me. “Oh, this is perfect!” I exclaimed.

  “This is just for the main business,” she said.

  “What are you doing for the winery?”

  “Just swipe for the next photo. No matter which direction you go, all of the photos in there are for this design.”

  Haven had used a bold font for the main corporate design with a fireweed twined through the corner on one side. The winery and brewery had a more whimsical font.

  I studied them before glancing back at her. “I love these!”

  I glanced at Kenan as he was peering over my shoulder. “These are fantastic,” he enthused, smiling over at Haven.

  Her cheeks were pink as she smiled. “Thank you. On the one hand, it’s just words, so it may seem like it should be quick and easy, but trying to find a balance between business and capturing the feel of the place is what I was after.”

  Behind the lettering for the main corporate sign were jagged peaks, the skyline of Fireweed Harbor. “You absolutely succeeded,” I said as I passed her phone back over.

  Kenan’s palm slid back onto my thigh, and he squeezed lightly. I steeled myself to handle the need rioting inside me. Conversation carried on around us. Meanwhile, between my anxiety and the arousal that just wouldn’t quit whenever I happened to be near Kenan, I was beyond flustered.

  “Speaking of image, we need somebody to get the Christmas decorations up on the main building. I saw the winery is ready for the holidays, but we’re behind the ball on the offices,” McKenna commented.

  I had never in my life worried about Christmas decorations, but I needed something to talk about. “We do need to take care of that.”

  I could feel the heat of Kenan’s gaze on me, and knowing I needed to make things seem normal with us, I glanced up. “What?”

  “I didn’t know you worried all that much about Christmas decorations,” he said.

  I gestured around the café. They had lights strung in the windows and a crab pot fashioned into a Christmas tree glittering on one of the porch tables. Lights decorated the trees outside as well. “When the snow falls soon, it looks pretty. I’m just saying.”

  He squeezed my thigh lightly, and heat pooled in my belly. Somehow, I didn’t even know how, I got through the social interaction. It felt like walking a tightrope. When the group broke apart, Kenan went to use the restroom on our way out. I was sliding my arms into my jacket sleeves when McKenna commented, “I knew something was going on with you and Kenan.”

  I willed the heat in my cheeks away, knowing the effort was futile. I hoped she didn’t notice my blush when I glanced over and asked, “What are you talking about?”

  McKenna’s eyes, so similar to Kenan’s even though they were a different color, held a sly glint. “You don’t have to admit anything, but I’m not stupid. I’ll just badger Kenan for it.”

  She noticed the look on my face. “I’m just kidding,” she said quickly.

  McKenna and I were friends. I suddenly wanted to confide everything to her. Yet it all felt like too much.

  She studied me for several long moments before she added, “If you need to talk, I’m here.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Kenan

  I’d seen Quinn come out of the pharmacy before I encountered her on the sidewalk. I tried to tell myself there were plenty of reasons for anyone to stop by the pharmacy. In Fireweed Harbor, the pharmacy wasn’t just a pharmacy. It was a general store with odds and ends.

  They even sold beer and wine there. Yet I couldn’t ignore the niggling feeling that Quinn was keeping something from me. All of my suspicious curiosity looped back to that doctor’s appointment in Juneau.

  A few days later, we were having dinner—something we’d done once or twice a week for the past few years. Now though, it felt different. There was before I’d kissed Quinn and after I’d kissed Quinn. I’d picked up pizza on the way over to her house. When she opened the door for me, I found myself leaning down to kiss her. Because I couldn’t help it. Her eyes were bright, and her lips were pink and full.

  I was a little breathless when I lifted my head a moment later. Her cheeks were flushed. Her dog Bela trotted over and wiggled in a circle around us.

  “Hey,” Quinn said.

  I was relieved she sounded as breathless as I felt. I cleared my throat. “Hey.” I lifted the pizza a little higher. “I got two boxes.”

  “I can count,” she said dryly as she closed the door behind me. “I swung by The Sugar Spoon and got your favorite chocolate mousse cheesecake,” she added.

  We walked together toward the kitchen area. “A woman after my heart,” I commented as I set the pizzas on the counter.

  That would normally be just a one-off teasing response to her. But just now, my heart kicked hard in response with the beat echoing through my body. Everything felt imbued with more meaning with her.

  “I also picked up some of the fresh spiced apple pie beer and mead. We have choices,” she said as she waggled her eyebrows.

  I took a steadying breath. I had to remind myself to act normal. I was the one who’d suggested we see where things went. And, here I was, starting to panic about it.

  I craved a distraction. I knew just the one.

  Quinn’s kitchen had a low section of the counter. She told me it was for baking. She had started to turn and walk toward the refrigerator. I reached out, catching her lightly by the elbow. She spun back, and I reeled her closer to me.

  “What is it?” she asked, stopping inches away from me.

  “This.” I bent low and fit my mouth over hers, claiming her with a deep kiss. My desire pounded so rapidly inside me that I could hardly think through the drumbeat of it.

  Our kiss started deep as I swept my tongue into her mouth, breathing her in, needing her as much as I needed air. The moment I tasted her, everything slowed. It was as if a curtain fell around us, catching us in a shimmer of sparks.

  Our kiss gentled, our tongues lazily teasing. I drew back, resting my forehead on hers.

  “Quinn,” I whispered against her lips.

  “Kenan.”

  I felt the sound of her saying my name in my heart. I had one hand cupping her nape, and the other palming her cheek. I felt as if my heart had been kicked over and lay sprawled and stunned before her. I was enthralled—to her, to this woman who was my best friend. Everything with her was startling in its intensity. Instead of this fiery-hot chemistry beginning to cool, it was heating up with the flames licking higher and higher, the fire white hot.

  She made an impatient sound in the back of her throat, just a little hitch, something between a whimper and a sigh.

  A second later, we kissed again. I needed her with a fierceness and desperation that shocked me. The next few moments were a messy fumble. Only half of our clothes were off, my jeans were shoved down around my hips, and hers were tossed to the floor. I lifted her onto that low counter, remembering a condom at the last minute and smoothing it on before I teased my fingers into her slippery wet core, growling to find her slick with arousal.

  On the heels of a deep breath, I sank inside her. It felt like coming home when I joined with her like this. I seated myself deeply, nudging once when I was fully inside her. Her blouse was unbuttoned, and I could feel her nipples through the lace of her bra pressing against my chest.

  I sucked in a ragged breath, opening my eyes. Hers were closed, and her lips were pink and kiss-swollen. Her cheeks were flushed. I could feel the rapid beat of her heart, a wild tumble, just like mine.

  “Quinn, I want to see you. Look at me,” I rasped.

  Her lashes lifted. Her hazel gaze was dark, the green standing out, a tiny detail I noticed whenever she was aroused.

  We held still like that, caught in that shimmer of sparks. The moment felt suspended, slow, intimate, and so intense I could hardly breathe through the emotion rushing through me. I could feel my heartbeat in my cock as I drew back and filled her again, the very heart of her rippling and clenching around me.

  I watched as her eyes held mine. She bit her lip at one point, letting out a little sigh before she whispered, “Kenan, please.”

  I knew her torch song now, knew she was building to her crescendo. She blinked, and her legs tightened around my hips as I filled her once more. I reached between us, teasing my fingers over her slippery and swollen clit.

  Her sharp cry rang out when she came, her hips bucking into me as I filled her once more. I finally let my release take hold, its claws sinking deep as I shuddered with her.

  She tucked her head in the curve of my neck. I held her close as my heart thundered and the reality of what was happening slammed into me. I’d gone and fallen in love with my best friend.

  For several heart-stopping seconds, a sense of panic struck me. But this was Quinn. Above all, she was my friend. I just needed not to panic. I needed to wait. To make sure she felt the same way and I wasn’t going to screw this all up.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Kenan

  In hindsight, I supposed it was a good thing we had that quick and dirty encounter in the kitchen. At the very least, it relieved the constant buzz of need I experienced with Quinn. I was less on edge, less tense.

  It was late, coming up on when I would generally get ready to leave. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to sleep here, and not because I wanted sex. I just wanted to be close to Quinn.

  This was the part where I might’ve fucked up. Because I was nervous and deeply unsettled by my feelings. I told her I needed to go to the bathroom. I did, but I needed a minute to figure out how the hell to say to her I just wanted to stay the night.

  While she put things away in the kitchen, I went to the bathroom. As I washed my hands in the sink, my eyes landed on a medication bottle. She’d left it out. If it was a secret, she wouldn’t leave it there.

  That was what I told myself. I lifted the bottle, noting the date of the prescription. It was the same day I’d seen her on the sidewalk by the pharmacy. I pulled up the medication on my phone. What the fuck?

  I still had the medication in my hand when I walked out to the kitchen. I wasn’t thinking at all.

  “What the hell is this?” I barked as I walked straight up to her.

  Quinn was drying her hands on a dish towel and turned to face me. Her jaw went a little slack. “None of your business!” She tossed the dish towel on the counter and held her hand out. “Give me that.”