“I know,” she acknowledged quietly. “No one can change what happened in the past, but is it wrong that I really wish that I could? You all deserved so much better.”

  I closed my eyes for a second to try to get my dick under control.

  I couldn’t have this gorgeous woman this close to me without my brain going places that it really shouldn’t.

  “It’s over,” I told her. “All of us decided a long time ago that we weren’t going to give either of our parents another moment of our lives. They took enough from us, especially Riley.”

  Torie held me tighter and buried her face against my neck.

  I sensed that she was actually trying to comfort me somehow, and just the fact that she wanted to do that made my damn chest ache.

  “It was a long time ago, Torie,” I said hoarsely as I ran my hands up and down her back.

  “Maybe so,” she said in a muffled voice against my skin. “But I still hate it for you. For all of you. When did you ever get to be a child, Cooper? It’s hard enough for a kid to grow up different, to start skipping grades and never have the same friends for very long because of that. I had the support of my parents and my brothers. You had no one to guide you except your brothers, and I’m sure they had their share of confusion, too.”

  “Don’t,” I told her adamantly. “It was a long time ago, sweetheart. None of us had a childhood, but we’re all okay now. That’s all that really matters.”

  “Do you have any idea what an amazing man you are, Cooper Montgomery?” she asked earnestly.

  Hell, no, I didn’t, and I wasn’t.

  I shook my head. “I’m not. You just don’t know me very well yet.”

  She tugged on my hair gently. “Stop that,” she insisted. “Don’t mock yourself like that, and don’t you dare blow off the fact that you’re incredible.”

  “If you want to believe that, I’m not about to argue,” I agreed, mesmerized by the sight of her beautiful lips as she said those fierce words.

  Fuck! I wanted to kiss her, even though I knew I shouldn’t.

  I also wanted to be that incredible man she thought I was, that guy worth keeping.

  “Good, then don’t argue,” she said happily as she pulled my head down and fused our mouths together, saving me the agony of trying to decide whether or not I should kiss her.

  I devoured her lips, but almost immediately, I knew that wasn’t going to be enough.

  I needed more.

  I wanted too damn much.

  And I couldn’t seem to stop myself from feeling all of those emotions.

  Fuck! I wanted both of us naked. Nothing between the two of us.

  Torie was an ache that I didn’t think I could ever assuage.

  The one woman who could definitely bring me to my knees without really trying.

  I groaned and pulled my lips away from hers. “Christ, Torie. You’re killing me,” I growled.

  “I don’t want to kill you,” she whispered as she put her hands under my shirt to touch my bare skin. “I just want to touch you, Cooper.”

  Jesus Christ!

  Fucking hell!

  And every other curse word I could think of at the moment.

  I wanted her hands all over me.

  Just. Like. This.

  Okay. Yeah. I’d had some decent sex in my life, but nothing in my past had ever felt this damn good, and we weren’t even close to the main event.

  “Cooper,” Torie moaned. “I need you. Please.”

  And…I felt like a fucking god just because she wanted me.

  I buried my face against her neck and started to devour the soft skin there. “Easy, sweetheart,” I warned. “If we don’t stop, you might get way more than you could possibly want right now.”

  Hell, I didn’t just want to fuck Torie.

  I wanted her to be mine in every possible way.

  The last thing I wanted was for her to back off because I pushed her too far, too fast.

  She trusted me, goddammit!

  Fuck! I have to stop!

  “I want you, Cooper,” Torie panted.

  I claimed her lips so she couldn’t say another word.

  If she did, I knew I’d have her naked before I could stop myself.

  Torie

  I could feel Cooper’s hesitance, and I wasn’t sure what to do.

  I’d never wanted to be with a man as much as I wanted Cooper Montgomery, but I needed that intense desire to go both ways.

  I couldn’t do this any other way. I couldn’t let him get me naked unless we were both fully engaged.

  I had too many scars.

  I had too many lingering fears.

  I was going to need him to be all in with me.

  It took everything I had to wrench my mouth from his and step back.

  Sweet Jesus! What in the hell am I thinking?

  I’d been the one to start this intense kiss when he’d obviously wanted to slow things down.

  “Maybe all of this is happening too fast,” I panted.

  For a moment, I felt truly panicked, and I started to hyperventilate.

  Everything with Cooper had been so damn perfect.

  Until it wasn’t.

  What exactly had happened?

  Cooper put an arm around my waist. “Take it easy, baby. Breathe.”

  “I’m breathing,” I said shakily.

  “No, you’re not,” he said patiently. “Breathe.”

  I took a deep breath in.

  Cooper and I were supposed to be casual dating.

  Casual. Dating.

  For me, that term had never meant a rambunctious fuck on the kitchen table with someone who wasn’t in a committed relationship with me.

  Dammit! There was just something about Cooper Montgomery that made every rational thought fly out of my head.

  And that was saying something since I had a genius IQ, but apparently very little common sense at the moment.

  “You’re really upset. What in the hell did I do, Torie?” Cooper asked in a hoarse, raspy voice right next to my ear. “Tell me what in the hell I did and I’ll fix it.”

  He turned me around until I was facing him.

  My breath caught as I looked up to see the troubled look in his eyes.

  I slowly shook my head. “It’s nothing you did, Cooper. It was me. I got ridiculously carried away. I shouldn’t have even initiated a crazy kiss like that.”

  “Hey,” he said gently. “I think there were two of us involved. Jesus, Torie, it’s not like I didn’t want exactly what you did. Please don’t tell me that you’re under the impression that I don’t want you as much as you want me.”

  I absolutely did think that he’d been hesitant.

  I’d felt it.

  I nodded. “Maybe I do think that. God, I didn’t mean to push things, Cooper. You’re probably the most amazing guy I’ve ever met. We’re friends, and we’re just supposed to be casual dating.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t. Don’t for one single second believe that I didn’t want to get you naked and fuck you until you begged for mercy. But that’s just not going to happen until you’re ready. That’s a big hurdle for you to get over, Torie, and I get that. You have to be able to trust me. Our attraction isn’t going to be enough. One step at a time, sweetheart. I’m not planning on going anywhere. Now tell me how you’re feeling now that you’re breathing.”

  “I’m fine.”

  He shook his head as he swiped a tear from my cheek. “You’re crying, and they’re definitely not happy tears.”

  I shrugged. “Okay, then maybe I’m a mess. Maybe I have been since my nightmares came back. I’m not myself, Cooper. I’m so tired that my emotions are all over the place.”

  “The new therapy with Dr. Romero isn’t helping?” he asked gruffly.

  “I’m not quite sure yet. We’ve only met once so far. I’m sure it will help, but over the last week, I’ve had nightmares almost every night. I think I’m suffering from pure exhaustion,” I admitted reluctantly.

  “Why in the hell didn’t you call me?” he asked.

  “I can’t call you every time I have a bad dream, Cooper. You’d be as sleep deprived as I am right now.”

  I was having a meltdown, and I knew it, but Cooper was my safe place to fall.

  Even though the time I spent with Cooper made me ecstatically happy, my nightmares and my lack of sleep were starting to weigh on me pretty heavily.

  My sleep deprivation was starting to win the battle for my mental wellbeing.

  Cooper wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly against his body. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. We’ll figure this all out and find a way to beat it. From now on, you call me if you have a nightmare.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck, and for once, I allowed myself to lean on someone. “I’m just so damn tired, Cooper.”

  He kneeled at my feet and meticulously took off both of my sandals.

  “Then stay,” he demanded as he straightened up again. “Stay here with me, Torie. Maybe it will help if you have someone right next to you in case you need them. No strings. No pressure. Nothing sexual. Just a warm body to keep you company.”

  His offer was so damn tempting that I groaned aloud. “Cooper, I can’t do that. I don’t have any of my things here right now—”

  “We’ll get some of your things tomorrow,” he said insistently as he scooped me up into his arms. “I might be attracted to you, but your mental health is a hell of a lot more important to me right now, Torie. You have to sleep. You can’t continue to function this way.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I know. I’m not sure what to do. I’m not this woman who’s this unsure of myself. I’m not this woman who cries at the drop of a hat. I hate what the kidnapping has done to my head. I was doing okay until the nightmares came back—”

  “This isn’t your fault, baby. Everything will be okay. You just need more time.”

  I sighed as he stepped into an elevator. “I wish I could be as sure of that as you are,” I replied.

  He entered his master suite and gently sat me on the bed before he went to his walk-in closet. “For now, you can wear one of my T-shirts to bed. You can bring whatever you want in the morning. For right now, my physical desires are on hold, Torie. All I want is to help you sleep. I can’t fucking stand to see you like this.”

  A few minutes later, I exited the big master bathroom in one of Cooper’s T-shirts.

  He glanced at me from his position on the bed and grinned. “That shirt looks a hell of a lot better on you that it ever looked on me.”

  “You can see nearly every scar on my body,” I said in a hushed voice.

  I had so many injuries, so many scars.

  He shook his head. “All I see is the most courageous woman I’ve ever known.”

  My eyes teared up because I knew he meant that. I could tell by the way he was looking at me right now.

  He didn’t see my scars.

  He didn’t see my imperfections.

  He didn’t blame me for having a major meltdown from lack of sleep.

  The garment was soft with age and was obviously well-worn. “Thanks for this,” I said as I slipped between the sheets next to Cooper.

  Even if this didn’t help me sleep any better, I was touched that he was willing to try it.

  I breathed in Cooper’s irresistible scent as I tried to get comfortable.

  The king-size bed was enormous, and the sheets were ridiculously soft. But I just wasn’t used to sleeping with someone. I hadn’t had a serious boyfriend in a long time.

  “Come here,” he said in a comforting baritone right after he’d turned off the light.

  He wrapped a strong arm around my waist and pulled my body against his. “Relax, sweetheart,” he instructed as he stroked a soothing hand over my hair.

  I allowed myself to unwind and calm down as I put my head on his shoulder.

  Just knowing that Cooper would be right here if I woke up completely terrified from one of my nightmares was comforting.

  “What happens if this does work?” I asked as my eyes grew heavy.

  Cooper continued to stroke his hand over my hair as he said mischievously, “Then I supposed you’re stuck sleeping in my bed for the rest of your life. I’d have to be an idiot to complain about that.”

  I smiled as my eyes fluttered closed.

  I very much doubted whether I’d have a single problem with that arrangement myself.

  Cooper

  The next two weeks were a strange combination of the happiest days of my life and pure hell.

  I was elated because Torie was practically living at my place, and her nightmares had started to slow down significantly.

  They still happened, but she was usually able to go back to sleep within a few minutes, so she was completely rested every day.

  However, spending every single night with her soft, curvy body plastered on top of mine was almost more than a guy could possibly endure.

  Despite that fact, I’d done my best to ignore my baser urges for the sake of Torie’s mental health.

  Yeah, being this damn close to her and not wanting more was difficult, but I’d learned one thing over the last two weeks: I couldn’t do a sexual relationship with Torie while we were “casual dating.”

  Fuck no!

  I had to know that she was committed to an exclusive relationship.

  There was no possible way I could fuck her and not know that she wasn’t going to date anyone else. Like…ever.

  I’d lose my mind just like my two older brothers if I couldn’t make Torie mine.

  There was absolutely nothing casual in the way I felt about Torie, so I was willing to wait until she was ready to commit to something exclusive.

  Right now, all I wanted was for her to feel like she was whole again.

  The more time we spent together, the more I realized how badly her kidnapping had not only messed with her body, but her head, too.

  She’d tried to put on a brave face for her brothers, but inside, Torie was still wrestling with some of her more persistent demons.

  Over time, she’d opened up with my promise that I’d never tell her brothers.

  To be honest, I could understand why there were some things she didn’t want to tell Chase and Wyatt.

  Her kidnappers had been even crueler and more sociopathic than she’d ever revealed to her brothers after her kidnapping. Chase and Wyatt had known things were bad because of her injuries, but it was worse than they ever could have imagined. The head games those bastards had played with Torie were fucked up and her captors had gotten off on her fear and her pain. I had no doubt that hearing every single detail of Torie’s ordeal would probably kill Chase and Wyatt.

  Hell, every revelation she made haunted me, but I tried like hell to separate my emotions from her pain because Torie needed someone she could talk to about everything.

  I was determined to be that confidante, even if it nearly destroyed me to hear about what they’d done to her.

  It was no wonder she was still struggling, that she hadn’t completely found her way back to normal…yet.

  “What’s the plan for today?” a sleepy Torie whispered next to my ear.

  Fucking hell. Did she always have to wake up sounding like a damn seductress in the morning?

  As usual, she’d managed to crawl on top of me during the night, one leg over my thighs, her head on top of my chest, that gorgeous mane of light brown hair spread out over my skin, and those luscious damn breasts pressed against my ribs.

  Also, as usual, I had my arms wrapped around her body, trying to bring her even closer so I could up my suffering factor.

  Christ! I really was a masochist.

  Torie got cold when she was asleep and she wrapped her body around me at night like I was a warm blanket.

  Hell, not that I was complaining, but it was pretty fucking difficult not to wake up hard and ready to go when this happened every single morning.

  “I thought we could do the Eagle Park hike if you’re up for it. Or we could just go kayaking in the cove. It’s supposed to hit seventy degrees today,” I said, trying like hell not to focus on how damn good she felt exactly where she was right now.

  “I’m up for Eagle Park,” she said hastily. “It’s winter, and the water is still cold. But Eagle Park isn’t exactly a challenge for you. None of our hikes have been so far.”

  I opened my mouth to ask her why she shied away every time I mentioned doing anything even remotely close to the water. And then I closed it again.

  Torie always shared what she was comfortable telling me.

  She’d been born and raised in San Diego.

  She snorkeled and was certified for scuba, so I knew she didn’t have a natural aversion to the ocean.

  Whatever her issue was with the water, I knew it had something to do with her time in captivity in the Amazon.

  “It’s a longer hike,” I reminded her. “Does it really matter how challenging it is if we’re getting outside for the day?”

  I’d picked our hikes carefully, slowly working up to longer excursions. Torie might be an expert hiker, but it wasn’t like she could just jump back into long distance hiking like she used to do.

  Honestly, the way she’d fallen back into hitting the trails amazed me. She was probably capable of more difficult hikes, but I saw no reason to rush things.

  “It doesn’t matter to me,” she said as she raised her head and met my gaze. “I just don’t want you to get bored.”

  Hell, like that was even possible?

  Every moment I spent with Torie was a learning experience.

  I’d dated.

  I’d fucked.

  But I’d never really experienced having a woman in my life who actually seemed to want nothing more than to spend time with me. I’d never really understood how intimate it could be to have a female in my life who was definitely a friend, but could also turn my body inside out with carnal thoughts about her, too.

  “No possible way I could be bored when I’m with you,” I told her honestly as I ran my fingers through her hair, which was a morning habit I couldn’t seem to kick.

  Torie wore her hair in a big, thick braid most of the time when she was hiking or doing anything physical because the thick mass of waves got in her way. But when that glorious mane was set free, it was one of the sexiest things I’d ever seen or felt before.