My nightmares were one of my biggest setbacks. The less sleep I got every night, the worse my anxiety became over the bad dreams. It was a vicious cycle I hadn’t been able to break.

  “Jesus, Torie,” Cooper rasped. “Why didn’t you tell me you were still having nightmares? It has to be hell reliving that shit every night.”

  “It’s exhausting,” I whispered. “I’m sorry if I woke you. I just…panicked for a moment. There’s always that short period of time right after a nightmare when you want to talk to somebody, you know?”

  “I’m here. Do you want me to come over?” he asked, sounding like he was ready to get in his vehicle if that’s what I needed.

  “No. I’ll be okay. Just…talk to me for a few minutes?” I requested as I turned on my beside lamp.

  “All night if you need me,” he said hoarsely. “Do you want to talk more about the actual dream?”

  “No,” I said hastily. “I’ve lived it. Distract me, please.”

  “How about I tell you again that I’m sorry about last night,” he said.

  I shook my head. “Don’t. Maybe you regret it, but I’m not sorry. I never knew a kiss could be like that, so I just can’t wish it had never happened. Not after everything that’s happened to me. It gives me hope that I can be normal again someday, Cooper. That I can completely separate what happened to me and label it as a vicious crime so I can move on and have a normal relationship with a guy in the future. That kiss gave me that hope. It gave me pleasure, Cooper. I refuse to let go of it and pretend like it didn’t happen or that I didn’t thoroughly enjoy it.”

  “I’m not sorry about the kiss, Torie. I’m sorry about the way I handled it. I flipped out when that wasn’t really necessary. I sent you away instead of explaining, and I really can’t blame you for being so pissed off that you didn’t answer my earlier text.”

  “That’s not why I didn’t answer,” I said softly. “I didn’t know what to say because I wasn’t sorry, and yeah, maybe I was a little pissed off because you were.”

  “I acted like an idiot,” he grumbled.

  I rolled my eyes and flopped back onto my pillow. “You’re far from being an idiot, Cooper. There’s a really powerful physical attraction between us. Maybe the timing sucks. Maybe it would be better if I wasn’t attracted to you and we could just be friends, but it’s there and I can’t completely ignore it. It’s enough to confuse the hell out of anyone. Especially when all we really want in our logical mind is a friendship. But I have no idea how to stop being attracted to you.”

  “Me, either. Hell, I’m not even sure if I want to let go of that attraction, even if we could. There’s no excuse for the way I treated you. We should have talked about it instead of me trying to push you away. The question is…where do we go from here, Torie?” he asked in a graveled voice.

  “I’m not sure,” I said honestly. “Neither one of us is looking for a relationship.”

  “But now that we know that our attraction isn’t going away, a friendship only relationship is almost impossible. I admit that the timing completely sucks. All you need is a friend right now,” Cooper answered. “I propose that we call our outings ‘dates’ from now on if you’re still willing to go out with me. It could be an experiment for you, and a way to find your way back to normal again. You could consider me your…test date. When I swore off dating, I never expected to meet someone like you, Torie. We can take things slow. At least we won’t have to try to hide our attraction anymore, but we don’t have to do anything about it right now, either. We can just move on kind of like friends, but knowing that attraction is there. It will be up to you to decide what you want when you’re ready.”

  So, he was basically leaving it up to me to decide what I wanted from him.

  I swallowed hard. “You were totally unexpected for me, too. I’m game for casual dating if you are.” I hesitated before I asked, “I guess what I don’t understand is why you were so adamant about not dating anyone. Did someone hurt you, Cooper? I’ll probably never understand why an amazing guy like you isn’t already involved with someone who adores you.”

  “Women don’t adore me, Torie. My longest relationship lasted a year,” he explained. “I thought we were in an exclusive relationship. She didn’t. I stopped over at her apartment one night with a bottle of wine and a pair of diamond earrings she’d been hinting about. She’d been complaining that I was never spontaneous or romantic, so I decided to try to surprise her. I knew she was right, and I wanted to make up for being a lousy boyfriend. She had another guy in her bed that night because she wasn’t expecting me and I never did anything out of the ordinary. All she really wanted was to marry a rich man, and it turns out that to her, all of us were interchangeable. She ended up married to Craig Appleton a few months ago.”

  Craig Appleton?

  Because I’d been raised in the upper class society in San Diego, I knew exactly who he was talking about, even though I didn’t hang out with that crowd on a regular basis.

  “Wait a minute,” I said in a horrified tone. “Are you trying to tell me that some woman actually dumped you for…him?”

  God, was that even possible? I’d met Craig Appleton and there was no comparison between a man like Cooper and that ridiculous man.

  “Yep. That’s exactly what I’m saying,” he confirmed.

  “Good Lord, she must have been a complete idiot. He’s always been a mean little halfwit, and she can’t be much better if she dropped the hottest billionaire on the planet for someone like Craig Appleton. No offense, but I think you probably dodged a bullet with that one,” I grumbled. “She didn’t deserve you, Cooper.”

  “I think you might be right about dodging a bullet,” Cooper said hoarsely. “She’s definitely not the woman I was supposed to end up with long-term. So, dinner tomorrow?”

  I smiled. “I’ll check my calendar, but I’m pretty sure I’m free.”

  “I’ll pick you up around five,” he said immediately.

  “Early dinner?” I asked.

  “More like an eager date,” he answered, his tone self-mocking. “Are you feeling a little less anxious about your nightmare? Honestly, Torie, it wouldn’t take me long to get there.”

  My heart squeezed at his willingness to jump into his vehicle just because I was struggling.

  “No. I feel a little better,” I told him. “I guess I should be used to these damn nightmares by now.”

  “Hell, no,” Cooper growled. “No one should have to just get used to having nightmares. I know someone who does some progressive therapies for this, Torie—”

  “I’ve been in therapy for post-traumatic stress since it happened,” I shared.

  “And I’m sure your therapist is good, but there might be better therapies for what you went through. This particular psychologist has been working with Last Hope rescues for years, and she’s had tremendous success with flashbacks and nightmares. This is her specialty, and she’s done some amazing things for some of our victims. Just a thought.”

  I sighed. “I’m willing to try something different. It helped to talk about it with my counselor in the beginning, but that doesn’t seem to be working anymore.”

  “I’ll arrange it,” Cooper replied. “Are you going to be okay tonight, Torie?”

  “I’ll be fine,” I assured him with a yawn. “Thank you for being here to talk to me. I’ll try to get back to sleep. Go to bed, Cooper. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Call if you need me,” he said in a no-nonsense tone. “I mean it.”

  The gesture was so sweet that I didn’t call him on his bossiness.

  “I will. I’m sorry someone hurt you, Cooper. You didn’t deserve that, but it really was her loss. Night,” I said softly.

  Once we’d disconnected the call and the bedroom was silent again, I realized just how well Cooper had managed to distract me.

  I shut off the bedside light and closed my eyes, most of the horrific images from earlier gone.

  I fell asleep thinking less about the kidnapping and more about what it was going to be like to have a real date with Cooper Montgomery, casual or not.

  Cooper

  “Don’t bother calling in an order for food. I brought lunch,” I told my brothers as I strolled into Jax’s office nearly a week later.

  I could tell that my siblings were searching for lunch options since both of them were going through a pile of menus that Jax kept inside a file in his desk.

  Hudson tossed the file onto Jax’s desk and gaped at me as I sat multiple paper bags down on the desk.

  “Italian?” Jax asked as he eyed the logo on the bags. “Sounds good. Jesus, Cooper, you’re way too accommodating and weirdly cheerful. Did you fall down and get some kind of head injury?”

  I shot my brother a dirty look as I sorted out the food. “Nice,” I said drily. “I go and get you two lunch, and that’s the kind of gratitude I get?”

  Hudson shook his head, and there was a smirk on his face as he added, “I have to agree with Jax. Something’s up. You’ve been in a really good mood all week. What’s up?”

  I unpacked the food and gave my brothers their favorites. All three of us knew this Italian restaurant well, so I’d known exactly what to order for Hudson and Jax.

  I pulled out my pasta dish and pulled the top off of it, and then grabbed a piece of bread as I answered, “Nothing is up.”

  Jax shook his head as he opened his container of lasagna. “I’m betting it has something to do with a woman you’re now…dating.”

  I took a chair next to Hudson, while Jax had settled in behind his desk to eat. “What do you two know about my dating life?”

  Hudson shot me a sideways glance. “You’re joking, right? As the only unattached Montgomery sibling left, do you really think you can keep something like that a secret?”

  Actually, I wasn’t keeping it a secret. I simply hadn’t had much time to fill my brothers in on what had transpired. “Torie is calling it casual dating,” I informed them.

  “Ouch!” Jax exclaimed. “And how are you dealing with that?”

  I shrugged. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slow. She’s been through a lot over the last year. I think it would be a mistake to push her too hard or ask for too much.”

  Torie had decided to share her kidnapping experience with everyone at Last Hope and not just Marshall, so my brothers knew all of the basics, minus the information about the sexual assault.

  “Yeah, Hudson and I tried that whole taking it slow thing, too,” Jax told me. “Word to the wise…it nearly killed us.”

  “It was absolutely impossible in my case,” Hudson grumbled.

  “Maybe I’m a little more patient than you two,” I suggested.

  “You’re obviously happy, no matter what speed this relationship is moving,” Hudson observed. “Are you planning on bringing her to my barbecue on Sunday? Riley and Seth are coming down from Citrus Beach.”

  I hadn’t seen my sister Riley in a while, so I did want to go… “I’m just not sure that Torie is ready for that yet,” I said thoughtfully. “You know, the meet-the-family thing.”

  Truthfully, I’d never done the meet-the-family thing with any woman. Probably because none of them had ever really wanted to simply hang out with my siblings.

  “It’s not like she won’t know everyone already,” Jax said. “Once Harlow noticed that you and Torie seemed to be dating when she saw you guys at Last Hope headquarters, she told Taylor. Then Taylor called Riley. The news was big enough to warrant an emergency happy hour meeting tonight. Harlow already invited Torie to go since they’ve gotten to be friends at Last Hope.”

  I groaned. “Seriously? Torie hasn’t mentioned it. You know our little sister is going to grill her half to death.”

  “On the other hand,” Jax said calmly. “Riley will also sing your praises and tell Torie what an amazing guy you are the whole time they’re together.”

  Yeah, okay, so maybe the women meeting up wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

  “I just don’t want her to feel uncomfortable,” I said.

  “You know Riley, Taylor, and Harlow better than that,” Hudson said. “They’d never push things so far that Torie wasn’t comfortable. They all adore you, although I have no idea why.”

  “I’m sure you’re right,” I conceded. I didn’t want to piss Jax or Hudson off by inferring anything negative about Taylor and Harlow. Hell, I adored both of them, too. I just wished they hadn’t decided to ambush Torie quite this soon.

  “So you’ll bring her with you Sunday?” Hudson asked.

  I nodded. “I’ll invite her and we can probably stop by. We haven’t really solidified any of our plans for the weekend. Now that her ankle is healed, we were going to visit the dog training center in the morning and take an easy hike tomorrow afternoon. We didn’t discuss anything about Sunday.”

  For a couple who were just “casual dating,” Torie and I had spent a hell of a lot of time together this week.

  We had dinner together every single night.

  Not that I was complaining…

  It was always my suggestion because I was addicted to seeing her and being with her every day.

  “So is Torie the reason you’re in the best mood I’ve seen from you in a very long time?” Jax asked.

  Jesus! Had I really been that big of a dick? “Probably. I enjoy every moment that we spend together,” I answered simply. “It doesn’t really matter what we’re doing.”

  “Happy for you, Coop,” Hudson said sincerely. “You’ve been miserable for way too long. Torie is the type of woman who is really going to appreciate a brilliant guy like you, and not be intimidated by that intelligence.”

  “I think she definitely finds me a lot less boring than most women do,” I agreed.

  “You were never boring,” Jax corrected. “Your dates just never had enough brains to have a conversation with you.”

  I shook my head. “It’s not like I tried to get into philosophical or scientific discussions with them,” I explained. “All I ever really wanted was to talk about something…anything except the gossip about the wealthy and socially elite crowd. I might be rich, but it’s not like I have any good friends in that social group. I have no idea why everyone wants to know every damn time they take a piss.”

  Hudson nodded. “I think we all learned what real friendship was like once we got into the military. I can’t imagine hanging out with the crowd we grew up with anymore.”

  “Ditto. I have no friends there either,” Jax added. “So how are Chase and Wyatt going to handle the fact that you’re dating their little sister?”

  “Why would they care?” I asked him with a frown.

  He shrugged. “I’m not saying they would care, but let’s not forget the hell we put Seth through before he got our blessing. I can only imagine how protective they are after what happened to her in the Amazon.”

  “Chase was actually trying to play matchmaker,” I told them. “I think he wants to see Torie and I dating. Although he did say that if I played with Torie’s heart, he’d have to hurt me.”

  Hudson chuckled. “Sounds like something he’d say.”

  I tossed my empty container into the trash and reached for my dessert. “Torie isn’t the type of woman who would let her brothers run her life. She loves them and she cares about worrying them unnecessarily, but she’d put her foot down just like Riley always did when we tried to push our advice on her a little too hard.”

  Jax chuckled. “Is that what we’re calling it now? Pushing our advice too hard? I think Riley would say those were the times when we got way too arrogant and bossy.”

  “She was probably right,” Hudson said. “In the end, she did just fine without our help. She found a career she loves and there probably isn’t a better guy for her than Seth. She knew what and who was going to make her happy.”

  “It’s not like she’s never tried to meddle in our lives,” I commented. “She is going for drinks with a woman I just started dating.”

  “With our women,” Jax added with a grin. “Welcome to our world.”

  “But you like that, right?” I asked. “You’re glad that Harlow and Taylor get along well with Riley?”

  Hudson laughed. “They do a lot more than just get along. The three of them are thicker than thieves. But yeah, I like it. Riley has been a good friend to Taylor when she really needed one. I’m glad they’re close.”

  “Same,” Jax chimed in. “I’m glad the three of them are tight. I think Torie might like joining the club. She’s in the same boat that Riley has always been in. Older brothers but no sisters.”

  I nodded. “I think she misses her friends in New York and her best friend that travels around the world as a journalist. She grew up here in San Diego, but you know how that goes…friends get married and they scatter over the years. I know it’s not the same for Torie here anymore. She hasn’t lived here since high school.”

  “Do you think she regrets giving up her job at the United Nations?” Hudson asked.

  “Nah, I doubt it,” I answered honestly. “She’s could have gotten that job back in a heartbeat once she recovered. I think she wants to do more than just translate. She hasn’t made a decision yet, but she was offered a job at the university as the director of their language program. I think she might end up taking it.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Hudson said. “She’s so damn talented that any number of employers would probably fight over her.”

  “Honestly, she doesn’t really have to do anything,” Jax said thoughtfully. “Just like Riley. Both of them could have let themselves get sucked into the social scene and spend all of their time doing useless things like our mother.”

  “Glad they didn’t,” Hudson said gruffly.

  I shook my head. “I can’t see either one of them falling into that lifestyle. Even when they were younger. I think Riley was always driven to get out of that whole way of life. She hated it.”