“Look, I get that you’re on edge, but you don’t have to give me the third degree. I’m the boyfriend, remember?”

  I refuse to look at him. I’m not trying to make him mad or hurt his feelings, even though I understand that’s exactly how he’s handling it. A low murmur releases. “Yeah.”

  “Do you really think I could hurt you?”

  “I don’t think you’d purposely hurt me, but anything is possible if we’re being honest. It’s not like I believe in soul mates or happily-ever-after. Love is just a fast roller coaster. You ride it until its ends.”

  “You of all people cannot think like that, Soph.”

  “I’m tired of dreaming for something more. We live then we die. That’s the only certainty.”

  He waves his hand around. “You’re being ridiculous. I’m going to go help your dad paint or something instead of listening to your nonsense. You have every right to be upset, mortified even, but it will pass. Trust me, I’ve been through worse in my life. I had nothing, no one. I used to feel completely withdrawn from those I used to call friends. For the longest time I thought I’d die alone, but I got sick of feeling sorry for myself. When I decided to make a change you came into my life. Things can change, and they will. You feel violated, but what did they really take from you? You’re gorgeous, smart, resilient, and you’ve been through so much worse. What happened will never happen again, your dad has made sure of it. I’m not making excuses or saying you shouldn’t be bitter, I’m just telling you that you’re going to be fine.”

  There’s a stinging in my eyes when I look into his. His honest concern has just poured from somewhere deep inside and it’s touching me, giving me all the feels I require, but at the same time I wonder where it’s coming from. He never acts this way. Garver doesn’t comfort with words. He’s sarcastic and short. I’m speechless.

  My hand comes up and touches his cheek. “Thank you for saying that. You’re right. I can’t let that scumbag think he wins. I should feel sorry for him instead, because he will never have the life I have. Things might be hard, but we’ve made it through.”

  Just as I’m saying it my father comes into the room with a wide smile plastered across his five-o’clock shadowed face. “Wow. I wasn’t sure how I felt about you dating my daughter at first, but I’m glad I let you stick around. I appreciate how you care for her Garver. Not every guy your age gives a damn.”

  “I can respect that, sir. I’d do anything for Sophie. She’s special.”

  “Yeah, when she behaves,” he agrees with a deep chuckle. “Were you serious about helping me out, because one of the police officers got me in touch with the historical society after what we found in the attic and there’s a lady that’s coming by next week. I’d like to get all the graffiti covered in the last rooms before she visits. I’m sure she’ll be taking photographs and possibly writing an article on her findings. With her help, she thinks I’ll be able to list the house as a historical landmark and possibly get top dollar for it once I’m done the restoration.”

  I guess Dad wasn’t going to tell me until later. It’s not like I’ve been in the mood to want strangers coming over documenting all the secrets in our attic. I get how important the findings are to someone like her, and the history of the town, but it’s still my temporary home I don’t feel like sharing.

  It’s not up to me though.

  It’s better if for once I listen and respect my dad’s decisions.

  Three hours later, Dad and Garver have managed to finish painting two whole rooms, including the trim and crown moldings. In that time, I was basically their waitress bringing them food and drinks so they didn’t have to come downstairs at all. Right before my boyfriend was about to leave, it began to torrential downpour. Being that it was dark, and raining heavily, dad offered Garver the couch. I was quite taken aback by his generous offer, especially considering how protective my father has been lately. In light of recent events I decide to keep my mouth shut. Besides, my dad made it quite clear that Garver would be sleeping on the couch while I was locked upstairs in my room.

  The guys called it quits a little after midnight, and while my father went up to bed, I didn’t want to risk getting in trouble on the very first night my boyfriend was ever actually invited to stay. Even though it’s difficult, I remain in my bed staring at the ceiling all while wondering what was happening on the floor below me. Was he thinking about me? Was he still awake? Was he going to sneak up to my room after waiting and I didn’t come for him first?

  It was so silly yet my mind would not shut off enough for me to get any rest. My fingers trace the fabric on my mattress. I pick at my nails. Then I actually turn the light on and paint my nails. I play on my phone. I even send him text messages asking if he’s awake, and as I see that he starts replying, my heart begins to race out of control. This isn’t the first time Garver spent the night. He’s been sneaking in my window and even the back door for a while now. I guess that’s the reason I really want him next to me in my bed. I yearn for his comforting arms to shield me from the monsters in the dark. He’s so close, yet so far away, too far for my liking.

  Almost laughing when it happens, I hear the creak the stairs make when someone walks up and down them. One at a time, seconds apart, someone climbs the steps until they’re on the second floor. The bathroom door opens and closes. I hear the plumbing come to life followed by the door opening again. Expecting him to make a dash into my room, I sit up in bed and stare at the door. The wait continues until more footfalls signal he’s on the stairs again, except Garver isn’t headed back down to the couch. He’s going up in the attic.

  While I consider the possibilities of his interest, I also contemplate investigating myself. Did some revelation persuade him to go looking for more answers? Is he doing this for me? Could his inability to sleep make him want to spend the night sifting through old boxes of Collinswood family history?

  I’ve already done some of this myself, but in all honesty there’s nothing recent. The newest files were on members of the family from well over sixty years ago, which would probably make the prior residents their children. Maybe they kept everything digitized instead of paper files. Perhaps they took their whole lives with them after the estate foreclosure. Since it was a private bank auction most of the crap stayed on the property. Personal items were the only things really missing. There were no family photos on the walls, but square spots where it’s evident some once were.

  Garver comes back down the stairs five minutes later, this time entering in my room and closing the door behind him. He raises his finger to his lips to keep me from speaking as he heads over and pulls me into a deep kiss I’m not ready for. Instantly enthralled in the moment, I just about lose my footing as I’m directed backward to the edge of my mattress. We fall onto the bed as one unit and remain engulfed in each other as our clothes come off and we manage to get underneath of the covers. In the moment, I forget all about my father sleeping in another room, or the fact that if we aren’t quiet he will hear us. The only thing on my mind is being with Garver, his hands touching me, his lips kissing away my fears, my pain, and all the worries I’ve accumulated throughout the day. He offers absolution with sexual distraction and I fall victim to it like I’m desperate for air. Nothing else matters except feeling the two of us come together. He’s the one I need by my side. He’s the person who always rescues me from myself. He’s the man I’ve fallen hopelessly dependent on. I’m in love with this guy, so much that the idea of people hating him offends me. Garver is good. He’s a man with a messed up family. He’s a man who deserves to be loved. I’m so lucky to have him, and I want him to know it. I reciprocate his touches, his kisses, and more. We come together, a deepening connection latches my heart to his, encompassing the space around us, eliminating everything else until only we remain. We’re floating on an invisible high. Hot breaths, deep moans, our bodies synced only as we exhaust ourselves in the moment. I’m unbreakable in this imaginary space, complete and happy. It’s been so long since I’ve felt this free. I almost feel guilty or ashamed. I’ve been through an ordeal but find comfort in my lover’s arms, all while knowing someone had previously watched this happening.

  Once we’ve come back down from our hormonal outburst, Garver walks over to the window and cracks it to allow a constant breeze to cool off our bodies. The moonlight shines in through the sheer curtains as they blow around. It’s brighter without the large overgrown tree branches that no longer exist. Even having the window open doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I know I’m safe. My father and Garver have made sure this house is a fortress. Neither would let anyone hurt me, and that feels so good. Now I can focus on graduation and a future that is somewhat changing from what I once wanted. Unable to deny our chemistry in and out of the bedroom, and my inability to deduce what continues to build, I want a future with Garver, possibly long term. When I look forward I see us together. I want us together. We both deserve a fresh start. Don’t we?

  Before closing my eyes, still wrapped in the arms of my boyfriend, I make a big decision about our future together, one I haven’t taken lightly. Whether I need him out of necessity or what I feel is the real deal, Garver is a permanent fixture. I don’t want him to have to sleep on cots somewhere, not when we have plenty of room and appreciate him being around. Now all I have to do is convince my dad.

  Garver has asked me to wake him so he could go downstairs before the sun came up. I didn’t.

  I kept thinking of ways to bring our relationship to my dad’s attention, and maybe this is the worst possible way, but I’d rather let the cat out of the bag and get it over with quickly. Besides, he might be nicer if Garver is around. He could also try to kill him, though I won’t let it get that far.

  Since I don’t want my dad having a heart attack, I made sure to put on pajama pants and a tank top. This will go over smoother if we’re clothed and not naked. Obviously, his first reaction will be crazy, but it’ll simmer down as the day passes. If not, I’ll have an attitude until he understands this is what I want and I’m old enough to make the choice.

  Right on time, I hear his alarm going off in the room down the hall. Garver sleeps soundly, unknowing all hell is about to break loose. I almost laugh picturing him sitting up in bed staring at my father’s stern gaze.

  I know. I’m terrible.

  Dad starts about his day, using the bathroom and finishing up in his room. He heads down the stairs and all is quiet for a few minutes. Then he comes back up the stairs and my doorknob turns. The shit is about to hit the fan. My heart races, and I swear my gut tells me to hide under the bed and pretend I ran away.

  The door cracks open. Our eyes meet. He looks to Garver and then to me. Then he just stands there, his eyes on the door. It closes and he’s going back down the stairs again. Nothing was said.

  I’m at a loss for words too.

  A smart person would count their blessings and leave well enough alone. There’s no need to stir the pot when everything appears to be good.

  Nonetheless, I’m either the stupidest person on the planet or a glutton for punishment, because I hurry downstairs to find my dad and figure out why he’s not blowing a gasket right now. Okay, a small part of me wondered if he was getting a large hammer or other tool to bash Garver’s skull in, but like I said, that’s only for a second before realizing it’s insane. Dad can be an asshole, and he does his best to protect me, but I can’t see him attacking my boyfriend with me next to him.

  After searching all the rooms toward the front of the house, I locate him in the kitchen. He’s got coffee brewing behind him on the counter, while he leans all of his weight on the center island, his head cocked down to stare at the Formica top.

  Crossing my arms, I lean against the doorframe and clear my throat. “Aren’t you going to yell at me?” I inquire with curiosity.

  “Believe me, I want to. I can’t say I didn’t expect it. Sometimes I like to check on you in the middle of the night. You know I have trouble sleeping and find myself wandering around the house until I can calm down. The first time I saw him in your bed I wanted to grab him by the balls and kick his ass.”

  This catches me off guard. My dad has known Garver stays here and hasn’t said anything until now. “Dad, I...”

  He puts his palm up. “It was the way he was holding you. Not just the first time either. Soph, guys your age usually want one thing and they don’t stick around to protect or comfort their girlfriends after they get it. The way that boy holds you, how he looks at you, it’s the way your mom said I always looked at her. Trust me, I wanted to aggressively remove him from the premises, but once I witnessed his true intentions I couldn’t bring myself to hurt you. Besides, you’re an adult now. The first thing you would do is throw it in my face, and I feel like we’re finally in a good place. Do I like knowing you’re sexually active?” His whole body shivers as he reacts to his own question. “I don’t even want to think about it. But Soph, life is too short. I’m not going to be the dad that pushes you away because you love another guy. I can’t lose you too.”

  It hard to keep looking at him when my eyes are saturated with tears. I didn’t expect this to be emotional. I thought I’d get the third degree and have to tell Garver to leave.

  This is unimaginable. Good, but unreal. Life is never this easy. “So you’re really not mad he’s been staying?”

  “I’m not thrilled.”

  “I’m asking because Garver doesn’t really live anywhere. He’s sort of homeless.”

  “I’m not following. You said he was from around here. Where is his family?”

  I shrug. “Gone. Dead. His mom has a permanent health condition and she lives in a facility. He was staying with Frank, but says it’s gotten too crowded with his own kids there, so he has a room at the bowling alley, but that’s really it. I wasn’t letting him stay here to be sneaky. I just feel sorry for him. Plus he keeps me safe when he’s around and lately I’ve needed that.”

  “You could have told me this from the beginning. Garver is a hard worker. If you’re determined to have him stay, he's going to have to contribute.” He pauses for a moment. “And he’s getting his own damn room. I’m sure you’ll still sneak, but it would make me feel better knowing he’s got his own space. I don’t want you thinking I’m okay with you shacking up. It’s uncomfortable for me, no matter how old you are. Understand?”

  “I do understand.” I’m trying so hard not to smile ear to ear. It’s not that I wanted Garver to become a roommate, at least not without a huge effort to convince my dad it was a good idea. “If Garver moves in we will have to set boundaries. No sex in common areas for start.”

  “Soph,” He interjects. “It’s way too soon for jokes.”

  I toss up my hands, smirking. “Okay, okay. Too soon.”

  “Please don’t make me regret this. Like I said before, I know you’re becoming your own woman and I want to give you the opportunity to make your own decisions. Since we both know he’s already been staying here it shouldn’t really change the dynamic, except for the sneaking around. No more of that.”

  “Seems fair.”

  A guffaw comes out. “Fair,” he repeats with the scratch of his head. “Don’t make me regret this.”

  “I won’t. You’re right about Garver. I feel safe when he’s here, especially when you have to work, and I’ve felt so bad for you having to miss out on things because of all this crap happening here. I’m a big girl who should be able to handle this, especially after everything else we’ve endured. I was afraid to ask you about Garver staying, even though I knew he sort of needed a place. I didn’t expect you to suggest…”

  “If you think this was an easy decision you’re wrong, Soph. I’m still unsure it’s what your mother would want, but let’s be practical, she’s not here and I can’t be home with you and work at the same time. Besides, Garver can do pretty good painting and help out with odd and end remodeling in the house. I won’t have to pay my crew to come and help me on the jobs that require more than one person. In return, he can stay here as long as he pitches in for groceries and treats you right. The first time I hear the two of you having a fight or him being disrespectful, he’s out of here.”

  I snicker. There’s the father I’ve been missing. He was hiding behind a bottle of liquor for a while, although he seems to be back to how I once remembered him.

  “Thanks for looking out for me. I know I give you a hard time, but you do your best.”

  “Soph, there’s something else I think I need to explain to you. When I was growing up this house was amazing. The lawn was perfectly manicured, and the family maintained all of the fields of crops that surround the property. They had housekeepers and were one of the richest families here. When I heard it was on the market I couldn’t resist, because I knew that no matter the condition it had good bones.”

  “Or actual bones,” I add.

  “Yeah, maybe it does, but it’s still a home. It’s our home now, and I’m not going to let anything we find in the attic or anywhere else keep us from having a good life, whether we fix it up and sell it or decide to stay here. It’s big enough where you could raise your own family here.”

  “Dad, I think you may be getting ahead of yourself. No one is talking that far into the future in this house.”

  He nods, a sort of hopeful grimace fills his face, as if he’s picturing us down the road in the future. I smile back. “I love you, Dad. Thank you for this.”

  “I’d do anything for you, Soph. I hope you know that.”

  “I do.”

  When I’m back upstairs Garver is waiting for me to explain what’s going on. “My father and I just had a heart to heart.”