Pretty pink ribbons, p.18

  Pretty Pink Ribbons, p.18

Pretty Pink Ribbons
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  “Levi?” Her voice is scratchy and raw. I don’t answer her because I need to show her, and if I talk right now I’ll probably lose my shit. When I don’t speak, she tucks her hands under her chin and cuddles into my chest. This is where she belongs.

  I walk quickly through the house and kick my bedroom door open with my foot, then set her gently on my bed. “Will you scoot back for me, sweetheart?”

  She moves herself to the center of the bed and watches me with naked vulnerability . . . and that look alone splinters my heart in two. I kick off my shoes and then slip her sandals off of her tiny feet. Leaning back on her hands, her eyes follow every move I make. When I reach for the button on her shorts, she sucks in a sharp breath but lifts her hips without question. I drag her shorts down her legs then make quick work of taking off my clothes, leaving only my boxers. I crawl onto the bed and she starts to move back, but I shake my head and she stops. Her eyes are searing through me, taking me in the same way I’m taking her in. When I grip the bottom of her shirt, her body stills and I can practically see the breath hitching in her throat. Maybe she isn’t ready for this.

  I pause, giving her the chance to stop me, but she inhales deeply before raising her arms so I can slip the shirt over her head. My mouth waters and my eyes greedily roam every inch of her nearly naked body in an attempt to sate my eight-year craving. She’s wearing a white lace bra and matching white cotton panties, and it doesn’t matter that it’s not blood red or black or barely there, it’s sexy as hell because it’s wrapped around her delectable body.

  She’s an angel.

  My eyes land on the right side of her chest, where I can’t help but notice that the cup of her bra is full and round. She glances down to see what I’m looking at. “It’s a mastectomy bra.” Blinking rapidly, she bites down on her lower lip before adjusting the underwire. “It isn’t comfortable, but it looks almost normal when I wear a shirt . . .” Her words trail off and I watch a subtle flush creep up her neck, infusing her cheeks.

  “You look sexy as hell, Lane.” I crawl up her body and toy with the front clasp of her bra. “May I?”

  She peeks up at me and nods. With a quick flick, the bra falls open. Laney’s body is trembling under my hands and I hate that she’s this nervous about me seeing her. Cradling her face, I rub my thumbs along her jaw. With my eyes locked on hers, I bring her face to mine and when our lips meet, she lets out a soft sigh. “I want to make love to you, Laney.”

  Her eyes are glistening and there’s a slight quiver in her bottom lip. Releasing her face, I trail my fingers down the length of her neck then sneak them under the straps of her loosened bra, tugging it down her shoulders. After I toss it aside, I bring my hands back to her neck, my thumbs tracing her jaw. “Are you okay?”

  She offers me a tremulous smile and nods jerkily. “I’m just scared.”

  “There’s nothing to be scared of. We’ve done this a thousand times before. You haven’t forgotten about all those times, have you?” I ask playfully, trying to get her to loosen up a tad.

  She chuckles and shakes her head. I scatter kisses across her beautiful face and tuck a strand of her silky hair behind her ear. Laney takes a deep breath, a look of resolve flashing across her face. Pulling back from me, she lies against the pillows at the head of my bed.

  Laney is showing me her scars. With graceful beauty, she’s presenting me with her body.

  Her left breast is perky and plump, but where her right breast should be, there’s a serrated scar. That side of her chest looks like it’s sunken in, and the skin looks stretched and mildly uncomfortable.

  “Please touch me,” she pleads. I look up at her to find her eyes frantically searching my face. I’m not sure what she’s looking for, but if she’s wondering if her scars are turning me off, she sure as hell won’t find that. Reaching up, I tenderly stroke a hand down the center of her chest. When my fingers draw a line across the puckered skin where her breast used to be, she squeezes her eyes shut.

  “Open your eyes, sweetheart.” She follows my gentle command. Her heart is pounding so hard that I can feel it through her chest. “Your scars don’t bother me, Laney. They’re a part of you. They’re your battle scars. If anything, they make me insanely proud of you.”

  My lips trace a slow path along her scar and then progress to the puckered skin around it. Her fingers tangle in my hair and her body relaxes. My mouth moves to the other side of her chest, where I find her nipple tightened and hard. My lips wrap around the swollen bud, and her body jerks beneath me.

  “Levi,” she moans, her head tilting back on the pillow, and I work my tongue faster, sucking harder. My free hand skims down her body and dips into her underwear. She’s wet and throbbing, and I can’t wait any longer to claim her and make her mine.

  “Are you on birth control?” She probably is. I’m sure there’s some rule about not getting pregnant while you’re undergoing chemotherapy.

  “No,” she whispers. My eyes flash to hers and I smile at the look of horror on her face.

  “It’s okay,” I chuckle, grabbing a condom from the top drawer of my nightstand. I peel off my boxers then tear open the wrapper, but Laney stops me before I can slide the latex on.

  “Let me.” She grabs the condom and with incredible ease, she rolls it down my hardened length. My cock jerks under her touch, and she looks up at me and smiles. “I think you’re forgetting something.”

  “Oh baby, I’m not forgetting anything. I’m just saving the best for last.” Her face lights up, her eyes flashing hot with passion, as I slip my fingers into the top of her panties and slide them off.

  “I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR this.” Levi’s breath is warm on my skin as he settles himself between my legs. The weight of his body pushes me into the mattress, and he props his elbows up on either side of my head and cradles my face in his hands.

  “Me, too,” I whisper, breathless with anticipation. His eyes burn with desire and I push my hips into his, urging him to take me, despite the fact that I’m terrified how he’s going to fit. Levi is well endowed, and although I’m not a virgin, I haven’t been this intimate with a man since I was last with this man.

  Levi uses his legs to nudge mine open further and I let them drop to the side, opening myself up to him. He positions his cock at my entrance and my body arches, seeking his touch, then he pushes into me slowly, inch by delicious inch. My eyes drift shut, and I roll my head back on the pillow at the feel of him inside me.

  “Look at me, Laney,” he growls, and my eyes snap open. With a devilish grin on his face, he rocks his hips, pulling out a fraction before pushing back in. “Christ, you’re tight.” And I am. I can feel every inch of him as he works his way in further.

  My body is humming with energy and I need him to move faster. I need to feel all of him. My legs wrap around his back, my heels digging into his ass as I pull him to me. He buries himself to the hilt and drops his head to my shoulder at the same time a string of incoherent words fall from his mouth.

  Emotion builds thick in my throat, my eyes clogging with tears. This was the one thing I wanted more than anything else—to be with Levi and have his love again. I know he hasn’t said the words, but I can feel it deep inside. It’s in the way his fingers skim across my body, the way he smiles after he kisses me, and the way his eyes shine after I tell him how much he means to me. It’s in everything he does and everything he says, and when I’m wrapped in his arms, I feel safe and loved.

  Right here, in this moment, I’m not consumed by thoughts of cancer or dying or losing my hair. I’m consumed by him . . . this wonderful man that I will love every day for the rest of my life, no matter how long that may be.

  A couple of tears slip from my eyes, disappearing into my hair, and I take a deep cleansing breath. I want him to make love to me so I tilt my hips upward, silently begging him to move. Levi gets the hint and starts to move slowly, effectively driving me out of my mind. Our mouths meet in a frenzy, our tongues pushing and sliding, taking and teasing. I’m meeting him thrust for thrust, but it’s not enough—I need more. I groan, writhing underneath him, trying to get him to pick up the pace, and he actually has the nerve to chuckle.

  “You can push all you want, baby, but I’m the one in control.” His words cause a shiver to run through my body. Levi runs his hand down my bare thigh and grips it tightly in his hand. His primal touch ignites a small-show fireworks low in my belly. “Does this feel good, Laney? Did you miss having me inside of you?”

  “Yes.” My head thrashes from side to side as he slowly works my body into a frenzy.

  “I’ve thought about this—about you—nearly every day.” He pulls out of me slowly and then slams back in. His hips continue this torturous rhythm as his words seduce me. “Do you feel it, our connection? Your body was made for me, Laney. It was made for me and no one else.”

  “No one else,” I confirm, bringing my hand to my breast. My fingers pinch and twist, and when Levi’s lust-filled eyes see what I’m doing, he pushes my hand out of the way.

  “That’s my job, sweetheart, so you just wrap those sexy arms around my neck and let me do the work.” I do as I’m told, but now my body is teetering on the edge. With each stroke, he’s hitting that sweet spot deep inside of me, and every time he pushes in, his pelvis grinds against my clit. The steady rhythm is driving me mad, and I can’t keep my arms around his neck. My hands drop to the bed, fisting the sheet, and I moan.

  Levi’s head drops and his swollen lips encircle my aching breast. His teeth nip and tug on my nipple, shooting sparks straight down my spine, causing me to squirm beneath him. My hands move to his shoulders and skate down his back, and when they reach the globes of his ass, I squeeze, pulling him close to me.

  His mouth leaves my nipple with a wet pop and he makes a soft tsk tsk sound. “You just don’t listen, do you?” If me not listening puts that look on his face, then heck no I don’t listen. He looks like he wants to devour me and spank me and fuck me, and really, any of that sounds good. In fact, if he could just combine all three, I think I’d be perfect.

  Levi sits up, still lodged deep inside of me, and my eyes rake hungrily over his sculpted chest. The warmth from his body is gone, and when a warm breeze passes over my chest, I stiffen beneath him. It doesn’t matter that he’s already seen it; just the fact that I’m open and bare makes me want to wrap my arms around my chest to cover myself up. Levi must sense my discomfort because he catches my hands in his and brings them to his lips. “No, baby. We aren’t going backward, only forward. From now on, you and me, we only go forward. Got it?” I blow out a long, slow breath and nod my head.

  “Good.” Levi wraps both of my wrists in his left hand and leaning back over me, he pins my arms above my head. His right hand brushes down the side of my cheek as he begins to pick up his pace once again. “I still have your body memorized, Laney.” He places an open-mouth kiss along my jaw. “Every last inch of it. And we’re not stopping tonight until I’ve explored”—his hand skims slowly down my chest—“and reunited myself with all of the amazing beauty that is your bo—”

  I feel his fingers rub gently over my mastectomy scar and then his words cut off. His face goes slack and a look of wonderment flashes in his eyes, which quickly dart to my face and then back down to my body. “Laney?”

  “Yes,” I moan, slightly perturbed that he has stopped . . . yet again. Doesn’t he understand what we’re trying to accomplish he—?

  “Your tattoo.” Oh yeah. That. His lips are parted and he blinks several times before leaning toward the right side of my body to get a closer look. “Laney?”

  “Yeah?” I’m watching him for a reaction. This could either be really good or really bad, and I’m still trying to figure out which way it’s going to go.

  “What’s it say, Laney?”

  “You can’t read it?” I ask with a hesitant smile, but he doesn’t look up at me. His eyes are still trained on the script that’s indelibly inked along my ribs.

  “I want you to tell me what it says.” His voice is hoarse and finally his eyes shift to mine.

  “Levi,” I answer softly. His entire face transforms—lust and passion are quickly replaced by astonishment and admiration. “It says Levi.”

  “That’s my name, tattooed on your body.” His eyes are glassy, his voice thick and raw. My fingers itch to touch him, but my arms are still pinned above my head and I’m not sure now is the right time to move them. “Why? Why is my name there . . . on your body . . . in permanent ink?” His words are slow and concise as though he’s trying to make sure I understand what he’s asking.

  “Because I want to take you with me,” I whisper.

  “Where?”

  I swallow hard past my heart that is now sitting firmly in the middle of my throat. “To heaven.” Levi’s breath rushes from his lungs as the weight of my words sink in. My stomach tenses as I wait to see what he’s going to say or do, and when he just continues to stare at me, I keep going. “You’re a part of me, Levi . . . you’ve always been a part of me. I know we haven’t been together for the past eight years, but that never changed. I never stopped loving you. You don’t just have my heart, but my soul belongs to you too. I just . . .” I avert my gaze, trying to find my words before bringing my eyes back to his. “I just wanted to know that no matter what, whether I’m here on earth or soaring through heaven, I’ll always have a piece of you with me. Because my life isn’t complete without you, and it’s not much of a life anyway if you’re not in it.”

  Levi releases my hands, a look of determination written on his face, and without dislodging himself from my body, he somehow manages to flip us over so I’m sitting astride his hips. His fingers rake through my hair as he grips the back of my head and pulls me to him. “I am with you. There isn’t anywhere else in this world I’d rather be. I’m not going anywhere—and neither are you, for that matter, because I won’t let you. I’ll fight enough for the both of us. Just let go, Laney . . . let me be your rock. Let me help you get through this.” The tears that have been building for the past several minutes leak from my eyes and spill over my lashes, but Levi catches them with his thumb. And as they keep coming, he keeps catching them, the entire time assuring me that we’re in this together.

  “Please make love to me. Please,” I beg, hating the way my voice cracks. Levi doesn’t say a word but cradles my face in his big warm hands, then makes love to my mouth as his body follows suit. My hips are rolling in rhythm with his in a dance so perfect and so passionate that I feel he’s somehow touched my soul. I moan, digging my fingers into his chest.

  My body and soul are overwhelmed with sensations, and all it takes is one perfectly timed thrust to send me toppling over the proverbial edge. My entire body goes up in flames before it explodes into a million colorful little pieces. Levi grunts, his body continuing to pound into mine as I convulse around him.

  “Laney.” My name leaves his mouth on a deep growl as he buries his face in the side of my neck and lets go. His body rocks into mine several more times before coming to a leisurely stop.

  I feel like I’m bursting at the seams with emotions—love, peace, contentment, happiness, anticipation, and gratitude, to name a few. And I’m feeling them all in enormous doses. I want nothing more than to shout it out to all the world, but for now I’ll have to settle with these words: “I love you so much, Levi.”

  He shifts his head from the crook of my neck and kisses me softly several times, infusing his own amount of emotion into each gentle peck. “You’re amazing, Laney. I’m so glad you came back to me.”

  I bite down hard on the inside of my cheek, desperate to stay on the cloud that I’ve just started floating on. I know I can’t expect him to say those three little words quite yet, but hey, a girl can hope, can’t she? One of these days . . . one of these days when he’s ready, he’ll say the words.

  LEVI RETURNS FROM THE bathroom and crawls under the covers. He lays himself across my chest and peppers kisses along his name that is forever etched on my skin. “I love this, by the way.” He gives me a devilish grin. “I didn’t get the chance to tell you earlier, but I love it. Thank you.”

  “What are you thanking me for?”

  “For your words . . . and for this.” His fingers trace over each intricate line. “For never forgetting about me, and for loving me enough to want me with you forever.” My mind drifts to the story he told me about his mother, and I realize that maybe—just maybe—I’ve proven to him that he can trust me again.

  “Did it hurt?” he asks.

  “Like a bitch.” He laughs and kisses his name one more time before propping himself up on the pillows. He tucks me under his arms and pulls the covers up to my chin.

  “That’s because you’re a pussy.”

  “I am not,” I scoff, ramming my elbow into his side when I push myself up to glare at him. “I’m tough as nails.”

  “Sure you are, babe.” He pats my arm like I’m a petulant child then tugs me back down. His eyes drift shut and I nuzzle into his chest with a sigh of contentment, relishing the fact that I’m here—in Levi’s arms—and this isn’t a dream. I’m not sure how long we lie here, but Levi’s steady breathing and the strong beat of his heart are quickly lulling me to sleep. Right when I feel myself dozing off, Levi whispers my name.

  “Yeah?” I yawn, stretching my arm across his chest.

  “That night I first saw you again, you told me you came back here for me and another reason.” I nod my head; I remember that night all too well. “You said I wasn’t ready to hear the other reason. Was it because of the cancer?”

  “Yeah,” I sigh, rubbing my hand down his toned stomach. “I wanted to come home for my chemotherapy. This is where Luke and Benny are”—my fingers lazily trace around each defined muscle—“and this is where you are. I wanted so badly to tell you sooner, but I needed us to be in a better place. Does that make sense?”

 
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