I’m not sure when it happened, but Wren is rock hard inside me again. “From the front,” he says, already spinning me around impatiently. I shift my hips to help him steady himself between my legs. “I want to see the face you make when you feel me buried deep inside.”

  His movements are agonizingly slow at first. He leans down toward me, those striking blue eyes studying my body with intense focus.

  “I don’t understand how any alpha could not want you,” Wren whispers. That authoritative roughness in his voice is gone. Now, he sounds tender and a little unsure. Vulnerable.

  I lock eyes with him as his hands explore my chest, gliding slowly over my rounded pecs, and brushing over my nipples.

  “So hot and big and strong…” he mutters, and his touch moves down. My stomach isn’t as defined as my chest or arms. Not like I’ve had access to the gym since taking over the store. There’s clearly enough for him to enjoy, though, seeing as he presses his fingers into my blocky waist and hastens the movements of his hips. “Look at you. You’re perfect,” he says, eyes darting further down.

  I gulp, slowly losing my mind over the mere promise of his caress there.

  When he finally wraps his hand around me, I arch my back and clench tightly around his cock.

  Wren groans in response. Half surprise, half arousal. His left hand strokes me mercilessly while his right hooks under my knee to lift my ass off the bed so that he can fuck me even harder. “That scent of yours, Rus, you…mhmm, I need you to rein it in or I…”

  Wren drifts off, and I think his ability to put his thoughts into words has abandoned him. I feel the same. I don’t even care what he’s saying. All I want is for him to keep being here, keep fucking me, keep talking. Anything, as long as we are connected.

  “Feels too good,” he mutters. “You’re so fucking ripe, I wanna—”

  The urgency of his movements is ramping up, but a part of him still exercises restraint; I can tell.

  “Give me all of it. Don’t hold back. Please, Wren. Don’t st-stop.”

  His eyes widen at me, as if his name on my lips is a magical word; a leash pulling at his neck. Chest rising and falling sharply, his expression changes into a desperate grimace as he leans closer to me, this time all the way to seize my face.

  “Not holding back means— Ah, fuck. I wanna let go. I do. But…”

  “Then do it. Don’t stop. Let go,” I plead with him, losing every sliver of inhibition. This feeling of complete submission is euphoric. This is all I need. Even if it’s just my heat brought on by his rut-fueled pheromones. The sensation is powerful and real, and it’s everything. “Isn’t that what you want?”

  Something behind his eyes shatters and shifts in an instant.

  One long, deep exhale later—rattled and broken with shivers I feel all the way through my body—Wren grabs the back of my neck, pulling me flush against him. He thrusts sharply, deeply, delaying just a moment each time he’s in full-hilt, while he draws in my smell unabashedly, his nose buried in my hair.

  I’m a complete, utter, delirious mess under him, my heart beating at an alarmingly intense rate.

  “I’ll give you everything,” he whispers, words slurred. “Like a good alpha.”

  “Yeah! That’s wh-what I want. That’s what I need. Please.”

  With a strained whimper of effort, Wren rocks his hips into me one last time, burying himself as deep as he can before going completely still.

  My eyes roll back, and my fingers dig into hot flesh somewhere—I can barely keep track of what my body is doing outside of my burning, pulsing core—as I instinctively relax into the swell of orgasmic sensation.

  I cry out and quiver, coming all over our stomachs.

  The high only keeps growing as Wren’s cock twitches, filling me with his cum. His knot inside me expands; thick, rigid, overwhelming. He’s everywhere. Within and above and around me in such a complete, possessive way I haven’t come close to experiencing before.

  I stare up at the ceiling, my view partially obstructed by his blond hair, until my vision goes blurry.

  A tender memory enters my mind, almost as if to offload the mind-blowing pleasure that’s still rumbling through me. The memory of when I was sixteen and got my first heat. Mamma’s voice sounds inside my head, as clear and real as the moans coming out of Wren next to my ear.

  ‘Knotting’s a sacred act between an alpha and omega, Rus. It’s special. A rare moment when the gods allow us to experience a fraction of the true extent of the joy and delight our souls can provide. There’s nothin’ else in this world like it.’

  Tears well up in my eyes.

  I’ve never let anyone knot me before, and it…it was worth it. It was worth it for this.

  Wren seems to finally come to. He moves his head to press a tired kiss onto my cheekbone.

  His knot is firm and heavy inside me. I never would’ve thought that being locked together with another person in such an intimate, vulnerable way would feel this good. Then again, we’ve been locked together in this house for the past few days…

  Only this doesn’t feel like being trapped at all.

  I always worried I’d feel uncomfortable. Defenseless. After all, there’s no pulling us apart for the next twenty minutes or so without significant pain. But it makes sense; how soothing it actually is. How close we are. I don’t know if it’s just the hormones making me think I want it, but that feeling is there nonetheless.

  Wren’s heartbeat pulses through his skin and through the knot, almost syncing up with mine. He must feel it, too.

  “Are you okay? I…” he asks, drifting off with a shaky exhale.

  Knotting is usually a big deal for alphas, at least from what I’ve gathered. Or is that because they worry about what it will do to the omega they’re with? Either way, Wren sounds concerned and tender, and that makes me smile.

  “I’m more than okay, sugar. I’m great,” I say, quickly blinking away the tears before meeting his gaze. My chest feels so wide and open and light when I do. Those beautiful eyes. Shit, this really must be some pheromone-induced delusion, because he almost looks like he’s glowing. He looks like the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. “Real great,” I add. I touch his cheek, following the slight dip in and then running my fingers down the tickling stubble leading to his chin.

  Wren smiles contentedly, looking back at me with the same curiosity.

  “You’re so hot and soft inside. I…” He winces, because when he tries to move up on his elbows to see me better, he tugs at the knot, sending a jolt of uncomfortably intense pleasure mixed with pain through both of us. “I haven’t knotted anyone in…fuck, I can’t even remember.”

  “What’s it like for you?” I ask, still caressing his chin before moving onto his lips. “Describe it to me.”

  His gaze softens. “It’s like a continuous orgasm, only not as intense. More muted. Spread out. Otherwise, I would probably have a freaking heart attack,” he says, smirking briefly. “My balls feel so damn tight, and my cock keeps pulsing and throbbing. The knot is— All I can focus on is the pressure of your walls hugging it, and just thinking about that makes me even more turned on. If that’s even possible…” Wren closes his eyes briefly, teeth clenched, as if he’s fighting to keep his focus. For a moment, he faces away with a trembling exhale.

  A little more collected, he meets my eyes and continues, “Look at us. Isn’t it insane what these hormones make us feel? The mere thought of not being inside you gives me heart palpitations. It sends white-hot rage through my veins, like I’m some rabid beast protecting its meal. Maybe betas are right. Maybe we’re just weird, fucked-up animals.”

  His words took on a bitter note at the end there, so I dare to do something I, for some reason, haven’t before. I run my hand through his beautiful soft hair, pushing it out of his face. Wren instantly closes his eyes, leaning his cheek into my wrist, clearly enjoying the sensation as much as I do.

  I’m not a psychologist or a therapist or someone with an understanding of the human psyche. In fact, half of the time, I say the wrong thing when it comes to people or delicate social situations, but… “This doesn’t feel anythin’ like it did with her, does it?”

  Wren stops breathing as soon as those words come out of my mouth, which is painfully obvious to me now that we’re connected. His eyes dart to me, then elsewhere, before they settle somewhere below. He swallows hard.

  “N-no.”

  “Then you know what you did… No, what she made you do, was just coercion. This is what your rut’s supposed to be like. All the good things, good feelings… She can’t take this away from you. And no beta can take away, or understand, how special this is for us. If that makes us animals, then so be it. Ain’t nothing wrong with that,” I say with a gentle movement in my hips.

  Wren moans softly in response, nestling his face into my hair again.

  “Rus, I… Fuck. Thank you. I’m so sorry for—”

  I interrupt him by hugging him tightly and pressing him into me. I think he gets the point when he lets out a light chuckle, accepting it. We stay like that for what feels like a blissful eternity, our hearts beating wildly against each other through our skin.

  After his knot finally goes down, there’s a brief period of rest before the pheromones rise in the air again. Wren’s rut is nowhere near done, and neither am I.

  I want more…and more is exactly what I get.

  We keep kissing, touching, licking, tasting, fucking…pretty much everything and anything we can do to satisfy the desire to melt into one singular being until I’m dizzy, sore, and the fire in the fireplace dies out.

  Chapter 11

  Wren

  I don’t think I’ve slept this peacefully since…since before Felix and I started drifting apart. As I open my eyes and squeeze the bedsheet under my hand with a satisfied sigh, I notice the space next to me on the bed is empty. My entire body seizes. The sense of comfort is gone just like that, replaced by sheer and utter panic.

  Leaping up to sit, I scan the room, seeing no one but that stupid bird, now sitting on the kitchen table.

  Russell. I need to—

  Relief hits me when the bathroom door opens and he comes out. My cheeks flush with embarrassment at how intense my reaction to him not being here was. I rub my face and wonder if we should open a window to let the pheromones out. They must be completely eroding my brain.

  I am quickly and easily distracted by Rus coming toward the bed, wearing nothing but his boxers, rubbing his curly, glistening hair with a towel.

  Even though I saw pretty much every inch of his body last night, I still can’t get enough. He’s so…commanding. So well-built. Seeing him like this takes my breath away and fills my mind with a single overwhelming thought: mine.

  I study the scars I felt under my fingertips when I was far too distracted to pay proper attention to them. I study the countless freckles on his chest and shoulders, blushing as I remember the lovely ones on his lower back that kept shining in front of me like a constellation. And I also study the faint red marks I left on him, my fingerprints smudged on his skin.

  All the memories of our passion and lust, of the tenderness between us, hit me at once, together with his almondy scent, right as he sits down on the bed next to me.

  “Are you alright?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

  I resist the urge to touch his face. The worst of my horniness might be over, but my hormones are still raging and will be for the next day or two.

  That’s all these intense feelings are, right? Just my rut. Pheromones. Lizard brain stuff…

  Or maybe it’s the isolation, grief, and loneliness all mixed into one, made into something bigger by the gratitude I feel for Rus for everything he’s done for me. His concern. His understanding. The way he let me stay here without a second thought and did all he could to ease my pain.

  “What’s on your mind?” he asks again. “Tell me.”

  I blink, realizing I haven’t responded. Quickly, I smile and put my hair behind my ear. His brown eyes are soft and full of care. The fire he must have revived not that long ago leaves a beautiful orange hue on his skin.

  “I’m alright. How do you feel?” I ask, guilt dampening my voice.

  I might have gone a little overboard. Even with Felix, I always held back on the few occasions when it was my rut and he convinced me to try to go through it naturally.

  Rus lets out a chuckle. “Just a lil’ sore,” he says, smirking.

  “Me too.”

  “Other than that?”

  I purse my lips, finally allowing myself to touch his shoulder because I so want to. “I haven’t had sex this good in years, to be honest.”

  Russell’s laughter makes my chest open up and my cock stir.

  It really is something glorious.

  “Same here,” he admits, averting his gaze briefly with a cute blush of shame on his cheeks. “I’m happy that you seem a lot better.” He brings a hand to my face, rubbing my temple gently with his thumb. “How are you…in here?” he asks, his eyes searching mine like he hopes to see through them into my brain.

  Discomfort rises in me, tensing up my spine. “You…you didn’t do all that just to make me feel better, right? I mean— I know that is why you did it, but…you wanted it?”

  I’ve been thinking only about myself and my suffering. Despite his obvious ability to take care of himself physically, what if Russell felt pressured into this in some way? Being locked up and trapped with an alpha in a rut—an alpha who already tried to drug himself up and then nearly froze to death by throwing himself outside without a second thought…what if I’m not the only one who’s been going through stress, and Rus has been struggling, too?

  “Of course,” he says with a little chuckle, touching me back with quick reassurance. His finger glides against my cheek, and suddenly, I can taste his pheromones on my tongue again. They instantly soothe and calm me more than any drug ever could. “Don’t be ridiculous. Did you not see and hear me last night?”

  I can’t help but smile, and he seems pleased with that. “I sure did.”

  But then another fact hits me—all those things I told him about. About her.

  It took me months of insanely vague hints, dropping the smallest crumbs of information, and a lot of roundabout conversations to tell Felix. And when I finally did, I never felt… relieved. Unburdened. Ever since, I’ve been trying to convince myself that the faint, hidden repulsion I saw in his eyes when I opened up about what happened was only in my head, but was it really? I tried and tried, and yet it perpetually sat at the back of my mind. The idea that he wished I had never told him about it. After all, we never spoke of it again after that day.

  Felix always made sure to be extra mindful and caring around my rut, but isn’t that just what someone does when they’re trying their best but struggling with the reminder their partner had been raped by their mother?

  I blink, suddenly remembering the moment Rus asked me that question as I lay knotted with him. It was a crazy, ballsy thing to do, but he did it. For me. Until this very instant, I haven’t thought about her once, and yet… I can’t push the lingering sense of shame away.

  I don’t want to feel shame anymore.

  At least not now.

  So instead of wallowing in it like I usually would, I snap my attention back to Rus. He’s in front of me. He’s right here. This bubble we’re in might pop soon, but everything inside it is warm and comfortable, unlike the coldness of the real world. I’m going to hibernate here as long as I can.

  Leaning in, I go to kiss him, and his lips eagerly open up for me before I even reach them. The kiss is loving and tender, just how I need it to be.

  I look down when we pull apart and…notice the shape of his stiff cock outlined by his boxers. When I glance up, I’m met with Rus’s playful grimace. Half bashful, half flirtatious. Somehow, he’s able to do both perfectly.

  Are my pheromones still affecting him? I can’t really smell them, but they must be seeping out, intoxicating Rus. There’s no other way, considering I milked him so many times last night that any regular beta would be out of commission for a month.

  It’s not like my rut would be over this fast. My throat closes up, and my body heats at the sight of him, my cock already standing at the ready under the blanket. Rus’s hand reaches for me with precision. He slowly pushes the comforter aside, revealing the throbbing proof that, no matter what, an alpha in a rut is always eager for more.

  When he touches the head, I shudder and suck my lip between my teeth. “Are you sure you can handle more?” I ask. Whatever level-headedness or clarity I had when I woke up is quickly leaving me.

  “Oh, I’m sure,” he whispers in possibly the most seductive way imaginable. “But let’s start slow, sugar.”

  We move to the top of the bed, and I follow his lead by lying down next to him. We both shift onto our sides to face each other, kissing and panting into each other’s mouths, before Rus presses our cocks together, using both of his massive hands to hold us there, his fingers hooking to cage us firmly.

  I thrust my hips; slowly and carefully at first. It feels heavenly. Because those are his hands. Rus’s hands. Warm and pleasantly rough.

  We ride the short-lived delight of it before going over the edge. Rus shudders as he comes, and when he whispers my name into my mouth, I instantly follow.

  After I diligently lick the mixture of our cum from his fingers, I kneel over him, playing with his nipples; kissing, touching, and tasting. Then I tug at his soft, freshly washed hair that smells just like him—marzipan-y and irresistible. Rus gets adorably impatient rather quickly. He pushes me off to get on his hands and knees, and presents his ass to me with a needy desperation glistening in his eyes.

  He certainly doesn’t need to beg.

  I kneel behind him, gazing at his hole as it glistens with slick that drips down those muscled thighs and…I’m overcome by a ravenous urge to consume.

  I take his cheeks in my hands, spreading them to get better access. Rus gasps in surprise and cranes his neck to look back at me, but when I press my tongue against his entrance, he shudders and drops his forehead to the mattress. I love how responsive and honest his body is. Like an open book, he hides nothing. No shame, no hesitancy. All is on display…for me.