Wren seems to appreciate the gesture. I figure that since Dex knows about his issues, the call will most likely be pretty intense. He smiles as I pass, briefly touching my arm. “Thank you,” he whispers, taking the phone from me. “I’ll be quick.”

  “Take your time. The tow truck should be in to help with your car tomorrow.”

  I close the kitchen door behind us. Jonah isn’t in the hallway when I turn. The door into the bedroom, the furthest one from the entrance, is open, and I hear voices coming from there—Dot’s in particular.

  “Russell? Oh. Rus! Come on in.” Her voice lowers. “I want to thank him for the things he brought,” she says in a hushed tone, probably in response to Jonah. When I enter, she sits on the bed with the baby in her arms, nursing with a scarf placed over her chest. Jonah stands guard in the corner of the room, close enough to rest his hand on Dot’s shoulder.

  I might be an omega, but I’m still a man, and he’s nothing if not intensely protective. To a ridiculous degree, considering he knows women don’t interest me in the slightest.

  “I’m so glad to see you, Rus! This storm has felt endless,” she says with a sigh of relief. Clearly, the cabin fever is catching up to everybody. “Jonah won’t let us out yet, but hopefully tomorrow. He’ll most likely shovel half the forest clean by then. The weather looks so lovely. I pray it lasts!”

  I sit at the end of the bed, smiling at her sweetness. I wouldn’t admit it in front of Wren, but the walk here tired me out a little. Walking in heavy snow and plowing it out of the way isn’t fun. At least Wren was mostly able to just follow the path I made for him.

  “The snow would probably be up to your waist if you went out right now. I haven’t seen this much in years. But yeah, the sun feels great after nothin’ but gray skies for so many days.”

  “Some sun will do us good,” Dot agrees, rocking the baby gently while she nurses under the cover. “Thank you for the milk and apples. Jonah said you brought ‘em with you. You really didn’t have to. We still have plenty.” Her eyes dart briefly downward, and the joy in her voice tells me my hunch is correct.

  “Everything’s flowing again?”

  A smile spreads on her face, even if Jonah frowns slightly next to her. “Yes! Thank the dualis. Your,” she pauses, her gaze softening in a bashful way, “advice…proved very helpful.”

  I smirk. “Glad to hear that. As long as the babe has what she needs to be happy, that’s all that matters.”

  “I’m nursing without trouble now. There’s no better feeling than knowing she’s being nurtured by a part of me. It’s really so wonderful. Thank you for your help, Rus.”

  Feeling a ping of strange, unusual emotion I can’t quite understand, I quickly smile in response to her. Jealousy? I hold my breath, shocked at my own reaction. I don’t ever feel like this. Or imagine experiencing it. But her words, they make me…

  “Sorry?” I hear from the hallway. “Um, anyone?”

  Jonah tenses, so I jump up on my feet.

  “Comin’!” I holler at Wren. “I think he’s done with his call. We better get back to the house. Thanks again for letting us use your phone. I hope the weather stays decent. Come to the store when the roads are safer.”

  I leave the room to join up with Wren, who quickly hands Jonah the satellite phone. He still acts distant and short with him, but actually manages to put on a decently friendly expression for a moment. Something akin to a smile, I suppose. Better than nothing.

  “Everything okay?” I ask Wren as soon as we step outside. The stark contrast of the toasty indoors and the crisp, fresh air hits me as it fills my lungs.

  Wren doesn’t look upset or stressed, only a little tense. “Yeah. She was…freaking out. Mostly angry at me for not checking the weather. Then angry at herself for not checking the weather. But it’s all right. She’s happy I’m safe.”

  Good. I’m glad.

  “Ready to head back?” I ask.

  Wren turns to me, taking the first step off the porch. “I hope I didn’t make things awkward with your neighbors. He was sending his pheromones out like a snake spraying venom,” he notes with an amused grimace. “Not that I blame him. My rut still isn’t over, so I imagine I’m giving off more than I realize. I could sense his omega’s pheromones, too. Pretty strongly. I guess we weren’t the only ones spending this isolation entertaining ourselves with the…carnal sort of fun.”

  “It ain’t too bad. Not like you can help it,” I say, briefly studying his body as he walks in front of me. “And don’t worry about Jonah. It’s just how he is. He was a bit concerned about you takin’ advantage of me, though,” I note, still amused, once we’re walking down the path leading from the house.

  Wren sharply turns to me with a shocked grin. “He was?!” I’m glad he finds it funny, too. At least until his face falls. “I…didn’t, right?”

  I groan. “Haven’t we gone through this already?”

  Wren makes a disgruntled sound, followed by an awkward laugh. “Alright, alright… I take it back.”

  “You’re right about one thing—your pheromones are still pretty intense,” I say hesitantly, gaze fixed on my feet. I sense his eyes on me immediately. “Do you still feel it?”

  “Sex doesn’t consume my every other thought anymore, if that’s what you’re asking. The shoveling we did and all this walking have definitely helped to get some energy out of my system, but, uhm…yeah, the urge is still there,” he says, his voice going gravelly and low at the end. He gulps loudly and clears his throat.

  Smiling to myself, I lick my lips. Suddenly, I feel hot in all these layers.

  “Since we have another day at least to waste, would you like to…try and, you know…shake things up a bit when we get back?” I say, hearing the tension in my own voice.

  When I look up, his wide, intense gaze already waits for me. We both slow our gait. Wren swallows again before exhaling slowly, the air in front of him clouding white as he does. “Oh? What did you…have in mind?” His tone is easygoing and innocently curious, but there’s a fire smoldering underneath those words.

  “After you knotted me for like the third time, you kept talking about how good my cock would feel inside you,” I say in the most firm voice I can muster, even as my cheeks tingle with heat.

  The aura around Wren intensifies. “You remember that,” he mumbles, looking away for a moment with the cutest little flash of embarrassment. “I barely knew what I was saying at that point. I was so—”

  “And you said you were with alphas and stuff…”

  “You said alphas found you intimidating. Did you top others before?” He continues the conversation cautiously, clearly trying to tamp down his excitement, though his voice keeps going lower and lower, the desire inevitably shining through.

  “I used to quite a bit. Yeah.”

  Wren stops abruptly, making me do the same. I wonder if I hit some kind of sore spot, but when I see his face, it sends a jolt of pleasure right to my cock. The only way to describe it is…dirty.

  There are dirty, filthy things on his mind as he looks at me, his pink tongue licking the corner of his mouth.

  “We better hurry,” he says, the lust now audibly pulling at his strings. “And you better think of something we can use as lube.”

  Excitement surges through me. If I learned anything while serving, it’s how to be resourceful.

  “Don’t you worry. We’ll figure somethin’ out.”

  Chapter 13

  Wren

  I shiver when Rus breathes out deeply over my nape and nuzzles his nose against my venus gland. It sends faint tingles through my body that pulse all the way to my now semi-flaccid cock. He tightens his arm around me, pressing it over my torso, and rolls his hips slowly, enjoying the last moments while he goes soft inside me.

  I’ve almost forgotten how good it feels to be filled by someone.

  No matter how much I try not to think about him, Felix comes to mind again, because he’d never do this for me. He said it wasn’t what an omega is supposed to do to an alpha. That it made him uncomfortable. That it was unnatural.

  And even though I enjoy getting pegged, I’ve never done it while in a rut. This was the first time. I always thought it would be too frustrating to feel all those hormones driving me to take and claim and fill, while not having my cock actually inside someone doing exactly that, but goddammit, what we just did was anything but unsatisfying.

  The moment Rus sheathed himself within me, all I could comprehend was the pleasure of his girth stretching and filling me. And he did it so well. With the perfect mixture of tenderness and intensity.

  But now my rut is ending. I feel it. That ever-present pressure—the subconscious nagging need—is finally subsiding.

  This must be another first for me: the first time that I actually dread the end of my rut. Usually, by the time it’s over, I’m beside myself with relief that it is over, but right now…I’m sad to see it go. How crazy is that?

  “What are you thinking about?” he asks, sounding sleepy.

  With a smile on my lips, I put my hand on his as it brushes over my stomach, and I lace our fingers together. Rus kisses the back of my neck in response, sending a surge of arousal through me.

  Ending, but not completely over. Then again, kissing that part of my body like that is cheating.

  “I’m thinking about how good you made me feel. We might not self-lubricate, but alphas who think getting fucked in the ass is only for omegas are sorely missing out.”

  He laughs into my skin. A beautiful, calming melody. His cock slips out with a wet pop as he shifts behind me.

  “That’s right. And you took me as well as any omega would,” he teases. “Not that…I would know, but I’m sure that’s true. Either way, we should get up and shower. Leavin’ cum sitting there don’t feel great, omega or not.”

  I have to agree. Clenching my cheeks to not make a mess, I turn around. Rus’s face is all red, and he has funny creases all over it from lying pressed into my hair. I caress his beard, unable to deny myself.

  “Let’s go.”

  Even if it’s a little tight with Russell taking up half the stall, we squeeze in together. We giggle and splash each other like stupid kids before he helps me clean up and then insists on washing my hair. I stand with my back to him while he runs his fingers over my scalp gently, almost methodically. It’s relaxing. Safe.

  But there’s still one more thing on my mind. One thing that’s keeping me from fully letting go and being satisfied at the thought of leaving this place tomorrow with no regrets.

  “I know you’ve already done more than enough…but could I ask you to do one more thing for me?”

  Rus doesn’t waste a second in responding. “Of course. What is it?”

  “I-I need to go to the house one last time, I think. Just to… I don’t know. To fully process things. I wasn’t really capable of it before, but now I’m in a better headspace and I…have to. I don’t want to regret anything anymore. Would you…come with me?”

  I feel stupid being this vulnerable and weak. Reliant on him. He’s seen me break down enough times, he knows about enough of the horrible things to—

  Rus grabs me by the shoulders and spins me around to face him. I look up slowly, soap and water running down the sides of my head. He smiles, so softly and so tenderly, before kissing me. My heart pounds like it’s about to escape my rib cage, sending shivers through my body with the intensity.

  “You don’t even have to ask. I wouldn’t let you go there alone. I’m here for you for…for as long as you need me,” he whispers, something dark and sad glistening in his eyes for a moment as he says it.

  I release a sigh of relief.

  I need to close this chapter. Maybe it was my determination to try to forget and push what happened out that made me such a mess in the first place.

  “Thank you. There might be some things there you can take, if you want. There’s a bunch of furniture and stuff that’ll get thrown away by the estate agency otherwise.”

  “Sure, I can have a look.” His voice is still so gentle.

  Rus finishes washing the shampoo out of my hair and turns off the shower. He pauses when I hand him a towel and wrap myself in the other one. “How about we go there tomorrow morning? We’ve done enough walking today. Let’s just relax. Listen to some music…”

  I smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  We spend the rest of the day quietly enjoying each other’s company. Doing not much at all. When thoughts that this is all ending, that tomorrow I’ll leave and probably never see Rus again, whisper in the back of my mind, I try to push them away and stay present. A part of me naively believes that Rus is similarly unwilling to accept that reality.

  We don’t talk about serious things. We don’t touch on the future or what tomorrow will mean. We just…are.

  And when we turn in, we do nothing more than twine together under the blankets and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Like lovers would.

  My heart drums in my ears by the time we reach the outside of my mother’s house the next day. I nearly asked Rus to forget about this and go back like four times on the way here.

  Not doing this would be easy. But where has easy gotten me?

  Easy fixes, easy pleasures…and a miserable, hard life.

  Rus stands behind me without saying a word, giving me space without me having to ask for it. I stare at the key in my hand before slowly inserting it into the lock. Reminding myself that he is right there, I open the door, my stomach twisting and cramping over the clicking sound.

  That familiar scent comes out, so I take a sharp, deep breath and step inside before I can chicken out.

  Carefully looking around, I tighten my fists like I am ready to fight her ghost. Russell hovers close by, his sweet pheromones radiating out in soothing, assuring waves. I’m not sure if he does it on purpose, to calm me, or not. Either way, the tension drains out of my muscles, bit by bit.

  Not being alone makes this feel easier. Much, much easier. My steps are lighter, and so is the heart pounding inside my chest. I turn to Rus with a thankful smile. I want him to understand how much I appreciate his presence.

  His gaze is steadfast, as if he’s ready to do anything I need before I even voice it.

  This is all so fucking strange. A man I hadn’t known a week ago is with me in my childhood home as my rock. The man who caressed and accepted me, who saw me at my worst and didn’t run away.

  Sure, he never could actually escape me, since we were technically trapped together, but Rus has been doing so many things he didn’t have to. He didn’t have to help me with my rut or try to understand me in the way he has. He didn’t have to stand by my side and walk into my nightmare with me.

  His hand brushes over mine. “What are you feelin’?”

  Fighting the rattling sensations inside my chest, I draw a sharp inhale and shrug. “I don’t know, I… A lot. Too much. Not enough? I don’t fucking know…”

  “Did they tell you how she died?” he asks after a moment of silence.

  I shiver. “Pneumonia. Likely passed in her sleep.”

  “I believe that,” Rus notes bitterly, making me raise my brows at him in surprise. He’s usually either pretty neutral or almost naively positive about things. He hasn’t spoken badly about anyone in the few days we’ve been together. But now, his eyes darken a bit as he walks by me, scanning the room. “It took ‘em a while to find her, from what I know. She didn’t socialize with anybody around here. Didn’t like people. Barely spoke to me when she came to the store for necessities. So…no one knew she was sick, and no one cared to check up on her. A fittin’ end, if you ask me…”

  His cutting words fill me with warmth. They say revenge is best served cold, but spite makes for an even better meal.

  She died alone. Choking on her own breath.

  Did she think about what she did to me? Did she ever regret it? On those lonely, long nights here, did it eat her up from the inside?

  Fuck, I hope it did.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” I finally say, letting out a deep exhale. When I meet Rus’s eyes to see if there’s judgment in them, there is none. Of course there isn’t.

  I’ve met plenty of people who thought it was a great idea to say to me that a person should love their parents no matter what. Sure, they never knew what exactly my mother did to me—I certainly wasn’t advertising it to anyone—but they still felt the need to tell me I should work it out for the sake of our relationship, for the sake of ‘the life she gave me.’

  My lip twitches with the anger that abruptly bubbles up.

  “She got what she deserved, from what you told me about her,” Rus says matter-of-factly, like it’s obvious. Like there’s no doubt about it. I just nod.

  That stupid recliner chair she always sat on wasn’t in the living room when I first came here. I wonder if that’s where she died. I imagine her rotting corpse falling apart on it, her liquefied, decaying insides seeping into the fabric as insects feast on her flesh, and that brings me great joy.

  Bitter joy, but joy nonetheless.

  I walk through the room slowly. “I guess there are some good memories here. From when I was little,” I say. “But they’re so faint I’m not even sure they’re real. And too much has happened since then. She…hurt me so much in this house, Rus. N-not just what I told you. Other things. Little things. And she…” Exhaling sharply, I fight to keep a grip on my emotions.

  I don’t want to shed any more tears over this. It’s not worth it. She’s not worth it.

  Rus touches my hand again, whispering a soft, “Wren…”

  I clear my throat and face him, even as tears slowly push their way out, despite my best efforts. “I told her I’d tell someone if she didn’t stop. If we didn’t end…it. I just couldn’t take it anymore. She…she asked me what I thought people would believe. The story of an alpha son, unable to stop himself from controlling his urges when his omega mother was in heat, or my version of the truth.” My voice quivers at the end. The paralyzing sense of unfairness and helplessness echoes through me like it did back then. Her eyes gaze at me in the memory, steady and sure and spiteful.